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Why women lie
研究表明女性為何喜歡說謊
Advice columnist Ann Landers once said that the naked truth is always better than the best-addressed lie. But some new information on women and lying could leave you wondering was anyone listening.
建議專欄作家Ann Landers曾經(jīng)說過，赤裸裸的事實總是好過經(jīng)過最佳偽裝的謊言。但是關(guān)于女性和謊言的一些新的信息會讓你想知道，到底有沒有人聽從這個建議。
I'm sleeping with a 25-year-old.
我和一名25歲的男子睡覺。
what did you just say?
你剛剛說了什么？
I'm sleeping with a 25-year-old.
我和一個25歲的男子睡覺。
On NBC's Lipstick Jungle, one woman lies on the job when accused of sexual harassment.
在NBC的Lipstick Jungle節(jié)目中，一名女性被指控性騷擾時就自己的工作說謊。
Is there any truth? Jay's claim?
事實真相是什么？Jay的說法是這樣的嗎？
No, absolutely not.
不，絕對不是。
And in the classic film, Belle de Jour, this woman is both chaste wife and unknown to her husband, a prostitute.
在經(jīng)典影片《白日美人》中，這名女子一方面是貞婦，另一方面是她的丈夫所不知道的妓女。
Sure, these are the stories of the big and small screen, but might they reflect real-life drama more than you'd initially think?
當(dāng)然，這些都是大熒幕上的故事，但它們是否比你最初認為的更能反映現(xiàn)實生活？
A new book "Little white lies, deep dark secrets" suggested that the answer to that question is yes. Its author found women use lies in a broad range of areas as a means to an end. 75% of women say have to lie in the workplace to sustain their positions. 60% admit to an addiction secret. 50% have mixed emotions about mothering.
一本新書“一點善意的謊言，深刻而黑暗的秘密”表明該問題的答案是肯定的。這本書的作者發(fā)現(xiàn)女性在許多方面使用謊言作為結(jié)束的方式。75%的女性表示，她們不得不在工作場合說謊來維持自己的職位。60%的女性承認在毒癮方面說謊。50%的女性對親情心情復(fù)雜。
I think that women, you know, keep secrets in order to protect themselves. uh, nobody likes to be judged, you know, I do have a very open relationship with my children, but when they ask me direct questions, I don't feel it's always beneficial to, you know, to answer them.
我認為女性保守秘密是為了自我保護。沒有人喜歡被人評判，你知道，我和我的孩子之間關(guān)系非常開明，但是當(dāng)他們問非常直接的問題時，我不認為直接回答他們是有益的。
I think everyone, you know, conceal the truth, all throughout their day at different times, in different ways, in different situations, and because of that, you know, all different types of things can be considered lying, yeah.
我認為每個人一天中不同的時間，不同的場合都在以不同的方式說謊。因此，所有不同類型的事情都可以被認為是說謊。
Sometimes, you're left better unsaid, if that, if that telling a lie by not telling how you really feel, then I do, I'm guilty of it.
有時，如果說謊話，不說出真實感受的話，什么都不說反而更好，否則我會感到愧疚。
Lying is a survival mechanism, so we yes, we definitely all do it.
說謊是一種生存機制，所以我們所有人都會說謊。
And Susan Shapiro Barash, she is the author of "Little white lies, deep dark secrets". Argie Allen is a relationship therapist. Good morning to both of you.
Susan Shapiro Barash是“一點善意的謊言，深刻而黑暗的秘密”一書的作者。Argie Allen是一位關(guān)系治療師。兩位，早上好。
I want to point out that those two women, you just saw, they are not serial liars by any means, they are just speaking in general terms about women and lying. And Susan, you found out through your research that most women live by this code of lying, secrets and deception. Is it something that's hardwired in us, or is it nurtured?
我要指出的是，這兩位女性，無論從哪個角度講都不是經(jīng)常說謊的人，他們說的是廣泛意義上的女性和說謊的問題。Susan，你的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)大部分女性的生存都遵守說謊，秘密和欺騙的密碼。這是先天存在于我們體內(nèi)的還是后天培養(yǎng)的？
I think it's both, Merida, it's partly the culture, really almost encouraging women to make a secret of anything that isn't what they're supposed to do, perhaps, an addiction, women lie about money, and then nurturing while our mothers have often taught us how to lie compassionately, you don't tell your friend she doesn't look good in a dress, you don't tell your husband you don't like the necklace he brought home.
我認為雙方面都有，Merida，部分是文化的原因，幾乎鼓勵認為對他們不應(yīng)該做的任何事情說謊，此外，女人在金錢方面會說謊，而我們的母親經(jīng)常教給我們慈悲地撒謊，你不會告訴你的朋友她穿那條裙子不漂亮，你不會告訴你的丈夫你不喜歡他買回家的項鏈。
But those are innocent lies, aren't they?
但是這些都是無惡意的謊言，不是嗎？
Innocent lies, but they can take you to the lie that you really need and sometimes it's just expedient to lie. So women have to decide.
無惡意的謊言，但是有時候會導(dǎo)致你說出自己需要的謊言，有時甚至將謊言作為權(quán)宜之計。一些女性必須做出決定。
We have some of our viewers email us things that they lie about, and one woman wrote my biggest lie would be my happiness in my marriage. I'm actually miserable but put on the facade that all is ok. Another said that I don't tell my husband exactly how much money we have and what we owe. I also don't tell him how much of a tax refund we received.
我們的一些觀眾發(fā)送電子郵件告訴了我們他們曾經(jīng)說過的謊話。一名女性寫道：我最大的謊言就是我的婚姻幸福。我實際上非常痛苦，但是外表看上去一切都好。另外一位女性說，我沒有告訴我的丈夫我們有多少錢，我們欠多少錢。我也沒告訴他我們有多少退稅補貼。
Now those, those are going towards the bad, aren't they?
這些都是不太好的謊言，是嗎？
Well, these are betterment lies, thy lie improves the situation, and you know if you reveal your secret, you feel that it is not really going to help you.
這些都是改良性謊言。他們說謊是為了改善形勢，你知道如果自己拆穿了謊言也不會有所幫助。
