When the time came for Kathy Peel’s mother and father to consider moving into an assisted-living facility, Ms. Peel tried reasoning with them, citing examples of friends who were happy they had made the move.凱茜皮爾的父母到了該考慮去老年護理機構的年齡，凱茜試圖說服父母前往，舉了幾個朋友的例子,說他們挪浪高興做出了這樣的選擇。When that didn’t work, she took a business approach. Ms. Peel and her husband Bill convened a conference at her parents’ kitchen table in Memphis and helped them write a three-page “strategic plan.” Her parents, Morris and Kathryn Weeks — both retired business people in their late 80s — joined in, talking about their goals and helping list dozens of pros and cons1 to staying in their home.莫里斯?維克斯和凱薩琳維克斯在決定搬到孟菲斯市的老年生活社區前，幫 忙寫了“規劃書”然而，這并不管用，因此她決定通過職業化的做法來解決。凱茜和她丈夫比爾在田納西州孟菲斯市父母家的廚房餐桌上開了個家庭會議，幫他們寫 一份三頁紙的“規劃書”凱茜的父母,莫里斯維克斯和凱薩琳維克斯都已年過八 十,退休前都是商人。他們也加入了討論，談論自己的生活目標，一起列出居家養老 的優缺點。Among the pros the family agreed on were the Weeks’ upositive attitude” and desire to share care for each other. But the cons loomed large, including the fact that no family members lived nearby to provide emergency care in a crisis. Ms. Peel had been forced to make 10 trips to Memphis from her home in Dallas in 2009 to help her parents with health problems, from her mother’s heart ailment to her father’s failure to notice her bout with dehydration2. Ms. Peel printed the plan, and after mulling it for a few weeks, the Weeks agreed to move to a senior-living community in Memphis.大家一致認為，居家養老的好處在于“保持一種樂觀的心態”兩人希望能夠相互扶持;但缺點也不小，比如家人都不住在附近,發生緊急情況時無法提供援手等。 2009年，凱茜不得不從達拉斯的家中跑到孟菲斯市十次之多，幫忙照顧生病的父 母，比如母親的心臟病，以及父親未能及時注意到的母親的脫水癥狀等。凱茜把規 劃書列印出來發給大家，經過幾個星期的深思熟慮，她父母同意搬去孟菲斯市的老 年生活社區。It’s an agonizing discussion for adult children: whether elderly parents can no longer live on their own. Some 42% of adults between ages 45 and 65 cite the topic as the most difficult one to discuss with their parents, according to a 2006 survey of 1,000 people by Home Instead Inc., an Omaha, Neb., provider of in-home care. And 31% said their biggest communication obstacle is getting stuck in the parent-child roles of the past.成年子女往往需要討論一個令人頭疼的問題:年邁的父母能否自己照顧自己？ 2006年，內布拉斯加州奧馬哈市養老護理公司對1000人做了一項調查，結果顯示， 在45歲到65歲之間的成年人中，有42%表示這是最難和父母溝通的話題，有31%的 人說，他們最大的障礙就是無法跳出父母和孩子的固定角色?！癢e take on3 old family rotes,” says Paula Spencer, a senior editor at Caring, com, a caregiving4 website, and a speaker on elder-care issues. “We don’t want to rock the boat. We’re concerned about parents，privacy, worried about the consequences, thinking, ‘Maybe Dad will hate me if I move him to assisted living,”護理服務網站Caring.com的資深編輯、養老問題演講者保拉斯班瑟說，“我們 還是在沿襲原先的家庭角色。因為我們不想把事情搞亂，我們擔心父母的生活隱私 問題，擔心各種各樣的后果,心里還顧慮著“如果送爸爸去老年護理機構，他可能會 恨我?！盬hile many seniors do fine at home, others need long-term care facilities or a home aide. It’s good to start such conversations early, says Paul Hogan, chairman of Omaha-based Home Instead Senior Care, which provides in-home caregivers. A good principle is “the 40-70 rule; if you are 40, or your parents are 70, it’s time to start talking，” he says.雖然許多老年人在家也可以安度晚年，還是有些老年人需要長期的護理機構 或家庭保姆的協助。奧馬哈市高級養老護理公司是一家提供家庭保姆的機構,其董 事長保羅霍根說，與長輩的這種談話應該早點開始。他說，“40 ~ 70歲是個不錯的原則，如果你年屆40歲,你父母已經70歲了，就應該開始考慮父母今后的養老問題 了?！盡ake time to discuss issues without rushing. Research shows adult children who feel hurried during conversations about their parents changing care needs may tend to push them toward the most efficient option, such as getting more help or moving to an assisted-living facility prematurely, rather than taking the time to encourage them to work on staying independent as long as possible.找時間跟父母談談，但不要過于急切。研究顯示,如果成年子女在跟父母談論 改變養老方式問題時心情過于迫切，那么他們可能會傾向于直接選擇最快見效的 方式，比如雇人照顧父母或讓父母過早地住進老年護理機構，而不是花時間鼓勵父 母在力所能及的情況下獨立照顧自己oAbout 70% of people over 65 are expected to need some long-term care services at some point in their lives, such as help with dressing or bathing, inhome services from an aide or nurse, or care in an assisted-living facility, according to 2008 federal data. More than 40% will spend time in a nursing home. While the average time seniors need help is three years, 20% are expected to need long-term care services for more than five years.根據2008年美國聯邦政府的數據,65歲以上的老年人有70%將在余生的某個 時候需要一些長期護理服務，如讓人幫忙穿衣洗澡，護理人員或護士提供居家服 務，或在老年護理機構生活等。有40%的老人將住進養老院。老年人需要護理服務 的平均時間是三年,其中有20%需要五年以上的長期護理服務。