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It's, like, the best one they make, I just can't get it to work. I'll figure it out.
這款是市面上最棒的一臺了，可怎么弄都飛不起來。我來弄吧。
It streams HD video straight to your phone while it's flying.
這玩意能邊飛邊串流高清影片到你手機上。
Nice. Where were you when I was single?
贊。我單身的時候，這小寶貝在哪呢？
Okay, we should leave in about an hour. You all packed?
我們一小時內就得出發。你東西收拾好了嗎？
Uh, yeah, I just need to throw in a few last minute things, you know, makeup, underwear, clothes.
差不多，出發前再加幾件東西進去就行。就化妝品 、內衣褲 、衣服那些。
If your bathroom floor counts as a carry-on, you're packed.
如果你的浴室地板能算手提行李，那你算收拾完畢了。
Leonard, have you ever given a high school commencement speech before?
萊納德，你以前有在高中畢業典禮致辭過嗎？
Nope. It's pretty exciting. Aren't you afraid of being blinded? How would I be blinded?
沒有。挺讓人激動的。你不怕被弄瞎嗎？我為什么會被弄瞎？
At the end of the ceremony, all the students throw those pointy hats in the air. It's all pomp and circumstance until someone loses an eye.
在畢業典禮的最后，學生都會把四方尖角帽拋上天空。場面還會挺有氣勢，直到有人被戳瞎眼。
I'll take my chances. Fine. I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in braille.
我樂意賭一把。隨你。你說有沒有賣"我早說了"盲人用的點字版卡片。
Look, the problem with commencement speeches is that they're boring. Ooh, do you own a T-shirt cannon?
畢業典禮演講最大的問題是都很無聊。你有能發射T恤的T恤大炮嗎？
Why would he own a T-shirt cannon? I don't know. Why do I own one?
他沒事為啥會有T恤大炮？不知道啊，但為啥我有咧？
I think it's really nice that you're sharing this experience with Penny.
我覺得你很貼心，愿意帶佩妮分享這樣的機會。
Mm, I thought it'd be fun to show her my old stomping grounds. I even know the exact spot where they used to stomp me.
我覺得帶她去我的母校地盤看看，應該蠻有意思。我還記得我是在哪塊"地盤"被人踩呢。
Well, now you get to go back as a successful scientist.
但現在你能以成功科學家身份衣錦還鄉啊。
With a beautiful girl on your arm. And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball
手里摟著美女。眼里還插著一頂四方尖角帽。
How'd you get ready so fast?
你怎么能這么快就準備好呢？
Oh, I pack light. Once, I got through an entire spring break with nothing but a long T-shirt and a belt.
我輕裝上陣嘛。有一年的春假，我回家就帶了一件長T恤跟腰帶。
Why did you need a belt? It's called an evening look. I've never been to New Jersey before.
你為啥會需要腰帶？那叫晚裝好嗎。我從來沒去過新澤西呢。
It gets a bad rap from shows like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives.
電視節目把它名聲搞臭了。比如《澤西海灘》或《貴婦的真實生活》。
So it's not really like that? No, it's like that. Well, I'm excited to show you around.
所以實情不是那樣嗎？沒，還真的就像那樣。但還是很期待能帶你到處看看。
You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
你覺得我們會有時間去探望你媽嗎？
Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either. I just got an alert. Our flight's been canceled.
有啊。還時間把我的雞雞放進壓蒜器呢，但我也不會因為有時間就做啊。剛收到短信提醒，我們的班機被取消了。
What? Yeah, looks like there's a big storm all up the East Coast.
什么？東海岸這里好像有個很大的臺風。
Well, can we get on another airline? I don't think so.
能換別家的班機嗎？貌似不行。
So, that's it? We're not going? I guess not. Well, that sucks.
所以就這樣？不去了嗎？看來是。也太衰了吧。
Yeah. I worked hard on that speech, too.
是啊。我可是非常認真準備這段致辭呢。
Oh. You could tell it to me. Oh, thank you, but I'm okay.
你可以念給我聽啊。謝謝啊，不過不用啦。
Are you sure? I could pretend I'm a high school cheerleader who can't control herself around esteemed alumni.
你確定嗎？我可以假裝我是高中拉拉隊長，對成功的校友沒有任何抵抗力哦。
Greetings, distinguished cheerleaders.
杰出的拉拉隊員們，你們好嗎。
Okay, the WiFi extender is on, the camera's on, they're both on the same network; we should be getting an image.
無線網擴展器開啟了，攝像機也開啟了，而且兩者都連到了同個網，我們應該能收到畫面了啊。
All I see is a black screen. And my own reflection. I look sad.
我只能看到黑色的屏幕。以及我自己的倒影。我看起來好傷心。
Maybe we should recalibrate it. All right.
可能我們得重新校準一下。好吧。
Step one: rapidly flip the calibration switch from the fully up to the fully down positions for at least ten times.
第一步：快速扳動校準開關，從最上方扳到最下方，此動作最少重復十次。
It actually says "at least"? Yeah.
上面真寫了"最少"嗎？對啊。
Why would they say "at least"? Is it ten toggles? Is it 100 toggles? You know? Is it 1,000 toggles? 10,000 toggles? 100,000 toggles? Sheldon!
它為啥會寫"最少"啊？那到底是扳十次？還是扳一百次呢？還是扳一千次？一萬次呢？還是十萬次？謝爾頓！
You see where I'm going with this.
你懂我接下來要說的是什么。
Just flip the switch until the lights on the drone change to solid yellow.
你就快點扳就是了，直到無人機的燈變成長亮的黃色。
All right, that seems simple enough. Initiating calibration sequence. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
好吧，這步看起來不難。啟動校準程序。一，二，三，四，五，六，七，八，九，十。
Well, I suppose ten is technically "at least ten." But they're still getting at least one angry letter.
看來技術上來說，十等于"最少十下"。但他們"最少"會收到一封憤怒的投訴信。
Now I rotate it horizontally on its center axis until the lights turn green.
現在沿著中軸水平旋轉它，直到燈號變成綠色。
Initiating rotation sequence. Don't look at me, initiate. What does red and yellow mean?
啟動旋轉程序。看我干嘛，啟動啊。這紅跟黃燈代表什么意思？
It means the calibration failed. We have to start over.
代表校準失敗。我們得從頭再來。
Oh. Very well. Reinitiating calibration sequence. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...eleven. It's a good thing I didn't send that letter.
好吧。重新啟動校準程序。一，二，三，四五，六，七，八，九，十...十一。還好那封信我沒有寄出。
Hello, Daddy. What's up? Not much, just wanted to see how my son's doing.
老爸，最近還好嗎？還行，就想看看我兒子最近好不好。
Very well, thank you. Are you still dating that dermatologist?
很好啊，謝謝關心。你還在跟那位皮膚科醫生約會嗎？
If you could feel how soft my skin is, you wouldn't have to ask.
如果你能摸到我的皮膚多柔嫩，你就不會問了。
Oh, and there's something else I wanted to ask you. Why did you spend a month's rent on a toy helicopter? !
我還有另一件事想問你。你為啥把一個月的房租錢拿去買玩具飛機？！
Oh, you're where that bill goes.
原來那張賬單是寄給你了啊。
I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle. It's time you learned responsibility. And the only way to teach you that is to cut off your allowance.
我受夠了縱容你的白癡生活。是時候讓你學會負起責任了。而唯一能教會你這事的方法就是不再給你零用錢。
No, Daddy, no! There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility. I know, you can give me an egg and make me take care of it for a week!
不行，爸，不行！能讓我學會負責任的方法多了去了。比如你可以給我顆雞蛋，讓我照顧好它整整一周啊！
No, my mind is made up. Starting now, you're on your own.
不必了，我已經決定了。從現在開始，你自食其力吧。
But, Daddy, II miss my family so much, and with you and Mummy getting a divorce, I feel sad and empty.
可是爸比，我好想家人，你跟媽咪又離婚了，我好不開心又好空虛。
Buying a little toy every now and then helps me fill that void. So while I can't hug you every day, flying that helicopter...I'm cutting you off.
偶爾買個小玩具能幫助我填滿心中的空虛。所以在我不能每天擁抱你的日子里，只要放飛那臺直升機...我要斷了你。
Just to be clear, financially or mid-sentence?
我確認一下：是斷錢，還是掛斷電話？
No red and yellow, no red and yellow. It's green! Yay! We did it!
別跳紅黃燈啊，別跳黃紅燈啊。變綠了！太棒了！我們成功了！
God, if it's this much fun to rotate, imagine when we fly it.
天啊，光捧著轉就這么有意思，等飛起來還得了。
Okay, now all I have to do is rotate it vertically until the lights turn off.
好了，現在我只需垂直旋轉機體，直到綠燈熄滅。
Oh, no! All right, playtime's over. Let's open this baby up.
不！好了，娛樂時間結束。咱們把這寶貝拆開吧。
Won't that void the warranty?
拆開就不能保修了吧？
Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for AppleCare. That pays for itself in the long run.
謝爾頓，我有一個工程學碩士學位。保修卡只配給我擦屁股。蘋果的保修除外。從長遠來看，維修費很快會回本。
Hi. Hey, where'd you go? I got you a little something to cheer you up.
嗨。你去哪兒了？我給你買了點東西，讓你開心開心。
Really? Sex last night, pancakes this morning. Am I dying? Just open it.
真的嗎？昨晚的愛愛，今早的餅餅，我這是要死的節奏嗎？快打開看看。
A cap and gown? Why do I need a cap and gown?
四方帽和長袍？我為什么會需要這倆玩意？
Because you are giving your commencement speech.
因為你要在畢業典禮上致辭。
What are you talking about?
你在說什么呀？
I called your old high school and convinced them to let you give your speech over Skype.
我打給你以前的高中，說服他們讓你通過視頻聊天在典禮上致辭。
Really? That's amazing! And you gave me the robes to give it in. Thank you.
真的嗎？太棒了！你還特意買了長袍讓我致辭時穿。謝謝。
Yeah, now about those, uh, they came from a costume shop, and all they had left was sexy graduate, so they...might be a little short.
對哦，關于長袍我有話說。這是我在一家道具店買的，店里只剩下性感畢業生裝束了，所以長袍...可能會有點短。
Short and sexy, that's my wheelhouse. Yeah!
又短（矮）又性感，我的強項嘛。沒錯！
Boy, oh, boy, that's a lot of pieces. You know what they all do, right?
哎呀呀，零件還真多呀。你都知道是干嘛的，對吧？
Yes, of course. What about this one?
當然，那還用說。那這個是干嘛的？
Well, I...how familiar are you with miniaturized integrated logic circuits?
這個嘛...你對小型集成邏輯電路熟悉嗎？
Not very. That right there is a miniaturized integrated logic circuit.
不太熟。那你手里拿著的正是這玩意。
So, can you get it working?
那你能修好它嗎？
I'm an MIT-trained engineer. I've built components for the space station.
我可是麻省理工畢業的工程師。我還為太空站出過一份力呢。
I thought the zero-gravity toilet didn't work.
我還以為那個零重力廁所不能用呢。
It worked fine, it just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts and their potato-based diet.
能用好嗎，只不過設計不適合俄羅斯宇航員以及他們的全是馬鈴薯的飲食。
Hey, guys. Hello. I have to return the helicopter. My father...What did you do? !
你好啊。你來啦。我得把直升飛機退了。我爸...你們倆干了什么好事？！
Well, don't worry. He went to MIT. He can solve any problem, as long as it doesn't originate in a Russian man's colon.
別擔心。他是麻省理工畢業的。他可以解決任何問題，只要不是來自俄羅斯人的結腸就行。
