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So, for those of you just tuning in, we are listening to a really fun fight between my costar...
各位剛剛開始收聽的聽眾，我們正在直播一場生動有趣的情侶吵架。由我的合演者...
No, no, no. We're not fighting; we're just...having a conversation.
不對不對，我們沒有吵架。我們只是在談話而已。
All right. We're listening to a really fun conversation between my costar from Serial Ape-ist 2 and her fiance, who doesn't believe women should have dreams.
好吧。我們正在直播一場生動有趣的情侶談話，由我在《殺人惡猿2》中的合演者，和她不相信女性也能有夢想的未婚夫出演。
Give me back that juice. What is the harm if I audition? Well, what if you get it?
把果汁還給我。就算我去試鏡了又會怎樣？要是你得到那個角色了呢？
I don't know, I make a movie, become rich and famous, win an Oscar, a Golden Globe and live an incredibly wonderful life.
我不知道。我大概會拍部電影、變得多金又出名、將奧斯卡和金球獎納入囊中、從此過上幸福又快樂的生活吧。
From a Kevin Smith movie? Oh, I'm hanging up now.
就憑一部凱文·史密斯的電影嗎？人家要掛電話了。
Don't you listen to him, buddy. You're awesome. You're one of the greatest directors of our time.
別理他，老兄。你是最棒的。你是本世紀最偉大的導演之一。
I don't have a part for you, Wheaton. And that was Kevin Smith. Thanks a lot.
我沒有角色給你，威頓。拜拜吧，凱文·史密斯。真是多謝你。
I'm just trying to protect you. How many times did I see you get your heart broken trying to make it as an actress?
我只是想保護你。我多少次看見你為了追求演員夢而傷心欲絕了？
Okay, instead of protecting me, why don't you try being excited when something good happens?
除了保護我，你為什么不能為我的好事而開心一點呢？
I'm always excited for you! I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
我一直都很為你高興啊！你找到了這份新工作，掙到了不錯的工資，我就很開心。
Decent? I make twice what you make. Wait, twice? ! Yeah.
什么不錯？我掙的錢是你的兩倍呢。什么，兩倍？！是的。
Like, "times two" twice?
你是指，乘以2那么多嗎？
For those of you at home, Leonard just found out his fiancee makes way more money than he does. Let's listen.
各位聽眾，萊納德剛剛發現他的未婚妻收入比他高很多。讓我們繼續聽下去。
I went to school for half my life. I have a doctorate. I'm still paying off college loans.
我讀了半輩子的書，得到了博士學位?，F在我還在忙著還學貸。
Well, how much do you owe? Maybe I can help you out.
你還欠多少錢啊？也許我可以幫幫你。
Wil, can we just turn off the podcast for a little bit?
威爾，你可以把播客停一下嗎？
For those of you at home, I am shaking my head "no".
各位聽眾，我現在正在搖頭。
How's it going, Sheldon?
進行得如何啊，謝爾頓？
Wonderful! I just finished hanging the lights.
棒極了！我剛剛把燈都掛上了。
Can I come in? Yes, oh, but enter through the side. Batman is a load-bearing blanket. Amazing.
我可以進來嗎？好呀，不過要從旁邊進來。蝙蝠俠毯子是用來承重的。好漂亮啊。
I know. This isn't the printout. This is my real face.
對吧。這可不是打印出來的哦，這是我發自內心的笑臉。
What are we doing? This is a fort. Let's sit on the floor.
我們干嘛呢？這里是堡壘，我們應該坐在地上。
Roughing it? Okay. Everything looks so big from down here. This must be how Leonard feels.
來野的嗎？好呀。從這個角度看一切都變得好大。萊納德平時一定就這感覺。
I'm surprised you could hear me with this Thin Mint in your ear! Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
你居然還能聽見我說話，因為你的耳朵已經被薄荷糖塞住了！很厲害對不對？
Yeah. Anyway, I should probably get going.
對呀?？傊覒摳孓o了。
Howie, have you noticed how often people say that when you start to do magic?
華仔，你注意到每次你玩魔術時大家都會說同樣的話嗎？
Sorry, I have a long drive. Well, I hope I get to see you again.
抱歉，我要開很長的路回家。希望能再次見到你。
I hope so, too. I've always dreamed of having a brother to play catch with.
我也希望。我一直夢想有哥哥能陪我一起玩拋接球。
Keep dreaming.
繼續夢，別停。
Hey, I threw out the first pitch at an Angels game. Wow!
我為天使隊開過球。哇哦！
He did it with a robot. You had sex with a robot?
他拿機器人干的。你干過機器人嗎？
That's not what she meant. But technically, yes.
她不是那個意思。但你說得也沒錯。
Hang on, if you're making all this money, where is it? In a safe place.
等等，你賺了那么多錢，那錢哪去了？在安全的地方。
What does that mean, under your bed?
什么意思，藏你床底下了嗎？
No, it means a diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds.
不是，是股票及債券的多元化投資組合。
I'm not overly conservative. I'm young, so my guy said I can afford to take some risks.
我沒有太保守，畢竟還年輕，我的理財顧問說我冒得了這些風險。
Wait a minute, you have "a guy"? Don't you have a guy?
等等，你還有個理財顧問？你沒有嗎？
Why would I have a guy? I don't have any money!
我怎么會有理財顧問？我連財都沒有！
Oh, sweetie, you should really get some money.
寶貝，你真應該去賺點錢了。
For those of you listening at home, how great is this?
正在家收聽直播的各位聽眾，節目是不是老精彩了？
Wil, I'm begging you, just please turn that off. Sure. And we're back.
威爾，拜托你，把那個關了吧。好的。歡迎回來。
Leonard, why are you making such a big deal out of this? So our roles have changed a bit over the last couple years.
萊納德，你為什么要這么在乎這些事？這幾年我們的角色確實有些變化。
This is the way life is. And I'm sure in time they'll change again.
人生就是這樣啊。風水輪流轉，很快就又轉回你這里了。
Great, you're not only more successful than me, now you're more mature.
太好了，你現在不僅事業比我成功，人還比我成熟了。
Okay, look, would it make you feel better if I did something dumb like sneak out of work one day to go audition for a Kevin Smith movie? That would be great, thank you!
那這樣，如果我做點蠢事你會開心一點嗎？比如我翹一天班，去參加一下凱文·史密斯的試鏡？那就太好了，謝謝！
I'm just gonna jump in here real quick.
我就插一句話，很快。
Leonard, a moment ago, you were dead set against Penny resuming her acting career, but now you're all for it.
萊納德，就在不久前，你還極力反對佩妮重回她的演藝事業，現在你又全力支持了。
Is it fair to say that she played you like a violin? Yes, it is, Wil.
是不是說明她將你玩弄于股掌之中？是的，沒錯，威爾。
So, I have to ask, was the robot sexy?
我忍不住想問，那個機器人很性感嗎？
It was actually just a mechanical hand.
它其實就是只機械手。
'Cause that's all you need, right? You are my brother.
因為有只手就夠了，對吧？你真是我親弟弟。
Okay, so the final four forts in the first annual best fort ever contest, or "Fort off," are Fort Knox, Fort Ticonderoga, Fort Sumter and...Fort Cozy McBlanket.
好，第一屆年度最佳堡壘大賽，或簡稱堡壘大對決最后四強為諾克斯堡、提康德羅加堡、薩姆特堡...舒適毯堡。
I'd say...Knox over Ticonderoga 'cause it's got the gold.
我認為...諾克斯堡力壓提康德羅加堡，因為它那有金子。
And McBlanket over Sumter 'cause it has a higher thread count. 10:00. Date night's over.
舒適毯堡完勝薩姆特堡，因為它織物針數高。十點了。約會之夜結束了。
Wait, no. We haven't picked a winner. We both know this one's gonna win.
等等，不要。我們還沒選出冠軍呢。我們都知道這個堡會勝出的。
Well, of course we do. Fort Knox doesn't have a secret physics lending library.
確實如此。畢竟諾克斯堡沒有秘密物理學圖書館。
Come on, I'll help you take this down.
來，我幫你拆了。
Well, wait. What if, just this once, we suspend the date night parameters and you stay later?
等等。我們破例一晚，約會之夜的限制因素暫時失效，你多待一會好嗎？
Well, as long as we're suspending the parameters, I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.
既然限制因素暫時失效，我可以待到非常晚。我們還可以第一次同居一晚。
That's a big step. It's a big fort.
這可是一大步啊。畢竟這么大個堡。
Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G-rated, boy-girl sleepover.
很好。我同意來一晚闔家歡樂的、老少咸宜的、 男孩女孩式的大眾級過夜。
Pg. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
家長陪同級。某些場景對少兒來講過于強烈。
G-rated, with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
老少咸宜級，附有對有嬰兒及幼童家庭的警示。
You got yourself a sleepover.
你成功獲得過夜小伙伴。
Do you need to borrow a toothbrush or pajamas?
用不用借你牙刷和睡衣？
Would it alarm you to know that I hid those things here two years ago just in case this ever came up?
我要是說為了以備不時之需我兩年前就在這藏好了一份過夜包，你會不會嚇到？
It would, but you know how much I admire preparedness. How did you know we'd be in the living room?
會的，但你知道我對充分準備是有多欣賞的。你怎么知道我們會在客廳睡呢？
Who says this is the only one I hid?
誰告訴你我只藏了這一份了？
Hello? What is this? We built a fort! Are those my sheets? Yes, they are.
有人嗎？這什么東西？我們建了個堡壘！那是我床單嗎？沒錯。
Okay. Well, you kids have fun. I'm gonna go to sleep.
好吧。孩子們，你們開心就好。我去睡了。
Leonard, don't you want to see the inside of the fort? Yeah, I'm good.
萊納德，你不想看看堡壘里面什么樣子嗎？不用了。
Oh, come on. I really wanted to tell someone they can't come in.
來嘛，我真的很想試試將人拒之門外。
Okay, fine. Sheldon, may I please visit your fort?
好吧。謝爾頓，我能進你的堡壘參觀一下嗎？
I want to say no, but it's too glorious. Get in here! Thank you.
我想拒絕，但里面太棒了。快進來！謝謝。
Okay, have a seat on the floor. Not there. That's my spot.
請在地上就座。那里不行，那是我的專座。
