評論
打印
You're wrong. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not.
你錯了。我沒錯。你就錯了。我才沒有。
Settle this. Those little animated pictures on the Internet, are they called "Gifs" or "Jifs"?
你來當(dāng)裁判。網(wǎng)上會動的那些圖片是念"動圖"還是"動土"？
Well, the G stands for "Graphics." That's a hard G, so I'd say "Gif."
圖代表的是"圖片"嘛。很明顯啊，所以我認為是"動圖"。
W...The guy who invented it says it's "Jif."
但發(fā)明的那男的說是念"動土"啊。
I'm sorry, do you mean the guy or the juy?
抱歉，你是說那"男"的還是那"蘭"的？
Well, I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
我給你們?nèi)螜C會猜我為什么很不爽。
Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
是不是什么事不如你愿呀。
I guess news travels fast. It's true, a select group of scientists was invited to a weekend symposium at a former home of Richard Feynman, and I wasn't included.
看來壞事真是傳千里啊。你猜對了，一群科學(xué)家被選去參加一個周末學(xué)術(shù)報告會。舉辦地點在理查德·費曼的舊居，而我居然沒入選。
Oh, Sheldon, I'm sure it's not because they don't think you're an elite scientist.
謝爾頓，我相信他們絕對不是因為你并非精英科學(xué)家而沒選你。
Yeah, I bet you anything it's just 'cause you're a pain in the ass.
是啊，我敢賭全部身家，絕對只是因為你是煩人精。
You're just saying that to make me feel better.
你們說這些話只是為了哄我而已。
Look, you can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this. Agreed.
你可以今天一整天都嘰歪這事。會的。
I was gonna say "or," but why bother?
我本來要接"但也可以"，但何苦浪費唇舌？
Hey, Raj. Hey, I got you a little gift.
嗨，拉杰。嘿，我有小禮物送你們。
Oh, that's a lot of Girl Scout Cookies.
這些女童軍義賣餅干也太多了吧。
You know me. I'm from India. I can't resist children begging. So, how's it going with the title to the house?
你懂我，我從印度來的。我抵抗不了兒童乞討的眼神。房子繼承權(quán)這事進展順利嗎？
Great, it's all done. The lawyer tracked down my father and got him to sign it over.
順利，都解決了。律師找到了我父親，讓他簽字同意轉(zhuǎn)讓給我。
I didn't have to meet him, I didn't have to talk to him, I don't even know where he is.
我不需要跟他見面，也不需要跟他說話，我都不知道他在哪。
Wow, so you're not curious at all? Nope.
所以你完全不好奇嗎？不。
What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band?
說不定他是名囚犯，又或者是名間諜？萬一他是披頭士翻唱樂隊的成員呢？
I'm just saying, if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.
我就說說，要是他也有你這鼻子跟發(fā)型，扮林戈一定像到爆。
Thanks again for agreeing to do this.
再次謝謝你愿意來上節(jié)目。
Oh, it's cool; I've never been on a podcast before.
這很酷，我從來都沒上過播客。
Well, you picked a good one to start. Wil's had lots of great guests. Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden...
那你的第一次選對了。威爾有過很多很棒的來賓：喬納森·弗雷克斯、 布蘭特·史賓納、邁克·多恩 、蓋茨·麥克法登...
Those are Star Trek people. Yes!
他們是《星際迷航》的人對吧。沒錯！
I only figured that out because I've never heard of any of them.
我能猜出來單純是因為完全沒聽說過他們。
I deserve that. I invited you on my show and I drove here. Sorry.
是我自己找虐。我邀請你上我節(jié)目，我還得大老遠開車過來。抱歉。
Okay, so, this is basically gonna be just like a little talk show.
這個基本上就像是小型訪談節(jié)目。
Uh, we're gonna take some calls, we'll talk about what it was like on the set of Serial Ape-ist 2. It should be really fun.
我們會接幾通聽眾來電，我們會聊聊在拍攝《殺人惡猿2》時的情況。應(yīng)該會挺有趣的。
This is exciting. Yeah. So, how many people listen?
好興奮啊。是啊。所以大概有多少聽眾呢？
Most people download it later, but usually a few thousand people listen live.
大多數(shù)人都是之后下載節(jié)目聽，但通常實時聽眾大概也有個幾千人吧。
What? ! A few thousand people listen to you talk about nerd stuff?
什么？！有幾千人愿意聽你說這些宅爆的東西嗎？
Again, right in the ears, straight to the feelings.
又一次，話入我耳，直插我心。
Can you please pass the salt?
能把鹽遞給我嗎？
Sure. It's not like I was invited to Richard Feynman's house and have anything better to do.
行。反正我也沒被邀請去理查德·費曼家，也沒有更重要的事情可做。
Is this how the rest of the night's going to be?
你今晚一整晚都會像這樣子嗎？
I don't know the future. Do you think there's a chance that an asteroid could hit the Earth, destroying Feynman's house and everyone in it?
我又不能預(yù)知未來。你覺得有可能會有一顆隕石撞到地球上、剛好撞爛費曼家、 還撞死里面所有人嗎？
No, Sheldon. Then buckle up; you're in for a cranky night.
不可能，謝爾頓。那做好準備，本人要鬧脾氣一整晚了。
According to the codicil of the Relationship Agreement which you insisted upon, we're not allowed to pout or be moody on date night.
根據(jù)你自己堅持加上的戀愛合約附錄，我們不允許在約會之夜撅嘴鬧脾氣。
You know I just put that in because of uterus stuff. Well, it applies to you, too.
你明知道我加上那條是防你大姨媽到訪。規(guī)矩對你也同樣適用。
I was afraid you might bring this up, so I have a work-around. There you go.
我就怕你會提起這件事，所以我鉆了漏洞。滿意了吧。
As far as you're concerned, I'm smiling. Although, I must admit, I'm smiling a little bit at the moment because this loophole is so brilliant.
就你看來，我是在笑。雖然我不得不承認，我現(xiàn)在的確是在小小竊笑，因為此舉實在太機智了。
So, Bernadette, have you thought about how you're going to redecorate this place?
伯納黛特，你想好了怎么重新裝修這地方嗎？
You know, I'm thinking ripping up the carpets, maybe lose the wallpaper, all new light fixtures...
我在考慮拆了這地毯，墻紙也全部撕了，弄新的燈架...
You know, if you knocked out this wall, it would give you an open floor plan, and then...it's a little scary, but could be fun-- indoor fire pit.
其實，如果你拆掉這面墻，你整個格局就會變成開放式的。然后...或許有點嚇人，但也可能好玩——在這弄個室內(nèi)壁爐。
Hey, I grew up in this house, okay? No one's knocking anything down.
我在這房子里長大，好嗎？誰都不許拆任何東西。
Okay, okay. When he's at ComicCon, I'm bringing in a wrecking ball.
行，行。等他去了漫展，我立馬找個大鐵球來拆。
Can I help you? Hi. Are you Howard Wolowitz? Yes.
有事嗎？您好，請問是霍華德·沃羅威茨嗎？是的。
Um, this is a little weird, but a lawyer was trying to contact my father, because his name was still on the title for this house.
這有點怪，但有一個律師之前聯(lián)系了我父親，因為當(dāng)時這間屋子還在他名下。
W...uh, who's your father? Sam Wolowitz. S Sam Wolowitz is my father. I know.
你父親是哪位？山姆·沃羅威茨。山姆·沃羅威茨是我的父親。我知道。
Well, wait, so if we have the same father...I mean, are you saying you're my half-brother? I think so.
慢著，如果我們的父親是同一個人...那你的意思是，你是我同父異母的兄弟嗎？我想是的。
Bernadette, weird things are happening out here.
伯納黛特快來，這里有怪事發(fā)生。
I think I started to suspect it was a bad movie when I looked at the script and saw the title, Serial Ape-ist 2: Monkey See, Monkey Kill.
我懷疑這是一部爛片，是從我低頭看劇本瞅見片名的那一刻開始：《殺人惡猿2之猴見猴殺》。
Uh, spoiler alert: after the monkey sees, it kills. I've just been handed a note.
劇透警告：猴子一看見啥就殺啥。有人給我遞了張小紙條，。
I'm going to read it. "Wil, do you want more Diet Coke? Also, we have juice."
我把內(nèi)容念一下。"威爾，你還想來點健怡可樂嗎？對了。我們也有果汁哦。"
I I didn't want to interrupt.
我不想打斷你們，所以遞紙條。
Uh, that voice you just heard belongs to Leonard, Penny's fiance.
剛才說話的人是萊納德，佩妮的未婚夫。
Uh, Leonard, why don't you grab some headphones and join us?
萊納德，你何不戴上耳機加入我們？
Really? Yeah. Yeah, great.
可以嗎？當(dāng)然。太棒了。
So, while Leonard gets set up, let's take a call.
趁萊納德準備的時間，我們接一通電話。
Hello, caller, you are on with Penny and Wil from Serial Ape-ist 2.
你好，這位聽眾，你已經(jīng)連線來自《殺人惡猿2》的佩妮和威爾了。
I don't have a question. I just want to say I'm a big fan of the movie. I've seen it, like, ten times.
我沒有問題要問，我只想說我非常喜歡這部電影。我看了大概有十次吧。
Okay, well, I'll apologize for the first time, but the other nine are on you.
好吧，看一次，其錯在我；但其他九次，其錯在你。
Thanks a lot, caller. You know that the movie actually has a little bit of a cult following. Really?
非常感謝您的來電。你知道這部電影其實有一些狂熱崇拜者嗎。真的嗎？
Yeah. I was at a science-fiction convention, and I saw a woman dressed as your half-ape character.
真的。我在一次科幻大會上，看見一個女人打扮成你片中半猿人的樣子。
Oh, if she was with an Indian guy dressed like a banana, that was just my friends, Howard and Raj.
如果她身旁有個印度人打扮成一根香蕉，那你看見的是我的朋友：霍華德和拉杰。
All right, it's time for a very special guest caller, a friend of mine,
好了，是時候請出一位特別的嘉賓聽眾，我的一位友人。
who you probably know as the director of such movies as Clerks,
你們可能因為他是《瘋狂店員》系列電影的導(dǎo)演而認識他，
or from podcasts and books where he often reminds you that he's the guy who directed Clerks. Hello, Kevin Smith.
或在廣播聽過和在書上看過。他不斷地提醒你，他就是《瘋狂店員》系列電影的導(dǎo)演。你好，凱文·史密斯。
Hey, man, yo, is everything okay, Wil? 'Cause it's been, like, two minutes and you haven't even brought up Stand By Me.
伙計，一切還好嗎，威爾？因為這都過了兩分鐘了，你居然沒提《伴我同行》這部電影。
Hey, Kevin! It's really exciting to talk to you. It really is.
嗨，凱文！能跟你通話讓我十分激動。真的。
Oh, you guys are very sweet. So, Penny, listen, I saw your movie. Oh, wow. I wish it was better.
你們倆太貼心了。佩妮，聽著，我看了你的電影。哦是嗎。可惜是部爛片。
Oh, don't worry about it. Have you seen some of Kevin's films?
別擔(dān)心這點。你看過凱文的其他電影嗎？
You're cruisin' for a beatin', Wheaton. Anyway, man, I dug the ape movie, Penny. And I thought you were, like, really great in it.
你這是在討打，惠頓。總之，我很愛那部人猿電影，佩妮。我認為你在里面演得很棒。
You know, I'm in the movie, too.
我也有參演哦。
Yeah, whatever. Penny! Penny, how come you're not in more stuff, man? I'd cast you in a minute. Seriously?
是啊，隨便啦。佩妮！佩妮，你怎么不多演點電影呢？我想都不想就會選你出演。你說真的嗎？
Oh, yeah, man. I'm actually in pre-production on a movie right now.
當(dāng)然是真的。其實我手上正好有部電影在前期制作中。
Way different than anything I've ever done before. It's called Clerks 3.
跟我以前的作品相比，簡直天壤之別。片名叫《瘋狂店員3》。
You should come over and read for a part.
你應(yīng)該過來試念一段臺詞。
Oh, my, I would love that. You have a new job.
天啊，我一定會去。你有新工作了。
Well, maybe I can do both. I don't think you can do both.
或許我可以兩邊兼顧。我不認為你可以兩邊兼顧。
I don't think I asked you. Yeah, you tell him, Penny.
我不認為我有問你意見。是啊，讓他聽清楚，佩妮。
Stay out of it, Kevin Smith.
別多管閑事，凱文·史密斯。
Do you think there comes a point in life when it stops feeling bad to be left out of things?
你認為人生中是否會出現(xiàn)一個轉(zhuǎn)折點，讓你不再為被人忽略而感覺難過呢？
Probably not. It's an evolutionary advantage to be included in group activities.
估計不會。被納入團體活動是一種進化優(yōu)勢。
You know what? I used to be a fan of evolution, but I've since evolved, and now I think it's dumb.
你知道嗎？我以前是進化論的支持者，但在我進化后，現(xiàn)在想想其實那理論挺蠢的。
Being left out is a terrible feeling. No one understands that better than I do.
被忽略會讓人非常難過，沒有人比我更了解這種感覺。
Hey, look at that. Even in your example, you're all by yourself.
快聽聽。即便你在自己的例子里，你也是孤身一人。
When there was a lice epidemic at my school, everybody got it except me.
當(dāng)年在我的學(xué)校虱子肆虐的時候人人頭上都有，唯獨我沒有。
I tried to fool everyone by sprinkling sugar in my hair, but I just got attacked by bees.
我試著往頭發(fā)上撒糖騙其他人，但下場只是被蜜蜂蟄了一頓。
I can just picture them all right now at Feynman's house, probably discussing Schrodinger and at the same time, not discussing Schrodinger.
我可以想象他們現(xiàn)在在費曼舊居里的畫面，可能在討論薛定諤，同時又不在討論薛定諤。
See? They're missing out on hilarious jokes like that. And at the same time, not.
瞧？他們錯過了像這樣有典故又有趣的笑話。同時又沒過錯。
It reminds me of when my stupid brother and sister would build forts in the living room and wouldn't let me in. I hated that so much.
這讓我想起我的白癡哥哥姐姐。他們在客廳搭建堡壘卻不讓我進去，恨得我牙癢癢。
You know, there's nothing I can do about getting you invited to the symposium, but if you wanted...we could build a fort.
或許，我不能讓你獲邀去參加學(xué)術(shù)報告會。但如果你想...我們可以搭建一座堡壘。
Isn't that a little juvenile? More juvenile than this?
那會不會有點太幼稚了？會比這個還幼稚嗎？
I'll get the blankets. You Google how to have childlike fun.
我去拿毯子。你上網(wǎng)搜搜如何享受孩子般的樂趣。
You know what, I'm being a bad host. Let me get some more coffee.
我真是個不盡責(zé)的主人。我去加點咖啡。
Oh, let me do it, Howard. No, I got it.
我來吧，霍華德。不，我來吧。
So, Josh, what do you do?
喬希，你是干什么的？
I'm studying oceanography down in San Diego.
我在圣地亞哥學(xué)習(xí)海洋生物學(xué)。
Oh, how nice. I loved Finding Nemo.
真不錯。我可喜歡看《海底總動員》了。
Enough chitchat. How do we know you are who you say you are?
廢話說夠了。我們怎么知道你的身份是真是假？
Why would I lie?
我為什么要撒謊呢？
Okay, you got me there. You here looking for money? No.
好吧，你問倒我了。你是想要錢嗎？不是。
A kidney, cornea, piece of his liver? No.
你想要腎、 角膜 、還是切一塊肝？都不是。
You're in a Beatles cover band and you need Howard to replace your dad as Ringo.
你參加了披頭士翻唱樂團，想讓霍華德替代你爹扮演林戈的角色嗎。
Why don't you help with the coffee?
你還是去幫著煮咖啡吧。
Okay, but something smells fishy.
好吧，可我聞到了陰謀[魚]的味道。
And not just because you work around sea animals.
不光是因為你和海洋生物一起工作哦。
That actually sounds interesting, and I'd like to learn more about it. Hey, you okay?
那聽起來挺有趣的，我很樂意多聽你說說。你還好嗎？
Not really. This guy shows up out of the blue, and now I have a brother? My father has another family?
不怎么好。這家伙突然從天而降，于是我就有一個弟弟了？我爸爸居然重組了一個家庭？
I get it. What do you want to do?
我能理解。你現(xiàn)在想怎么做呢？
I don't know. I...I'd just like him to go away. I can't deal with this.
我不知道。我...我只想讓他離開，我現(xiàn)在沒法處理這件事。
All right, I've got your back.
好吧，包在我身上。
Thank you. Come on. And I'd like to point out this wall just provided a lot of privacy!
謝謝你，走吧。告訴你，這堵墻剛才可是保護了不少隱私呢！
I can't believe my brother's an astronaut. That's amazing. What was it like?
真不敢相信我哥哥居然是個宇航員。太厲害了。感覺棒不棒？
Listen, dude, it's time for you to hit the road...Hey, hey, the young man asked a good question.
聽我說，老弟，你還是走吧...喂喂，這位小兄弟剛剛提出了一個很棒的問題。
