評論
打印
I just read about an experiment designed to see if you could make two people fall in love in a matter of hours.
我剛在書上看到一個實驗，為測試是否能讓兩個人在幾小時內愛上彼此而設。
That doesn't sound right. My research has shown that it takes three to five years of shameless begging.
聽起來不太對啊。我的研究結果顯示，這需要3到5年的厚臉皮苦求。
Honey, neither of us comes off good in that story.
親愛的，這事說出來咱倆都不光彩。
Yeah, II...I saw that article you're talking about. Uh, the participants ask each other a series of questions designed to promote intimacy.
我...我有看到你說的那篇文章。參與者互問對方一系列能增加親密度的問題。
And then they finish it off by staring into each other's eyes for four minutes.
在最后結束前，還要凝視彼此雙眼四分鐘。
Oh, that's nonsense. I proclaimed my love for you. And the last time I looked into your eyes was when you thought you had conjunctivitis.
這真是胡說八道。我敢說我愛你。可上一次我看著你的雙眼是因為你覺得自己得了結膜炎。
Other than the fact that I had it, that was a magical night.
雖然我的確是得了結膜炎，但那也真是個浪漫之夜啊。
Raj, would you ever try an experiment like that with Emily?
拉杰，你會跟艾米麗做這樣的實驗嗎？
What? I don't need science to win her heart. I have my family's wealth for that.
我才不需要靠科學來贏得她芳心。有我家的錢就夠了。
I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right?
相信我，幾個小時是無法造就愛的吧。對吧？
Oh, careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor.
話別說太滿。你這是在質疑整個《非誠勿擾》節目核心。
Yeah, but we don't have to debate this. We're scientists. We can conduct our own research. Yeah, I propose that we imprison two street people. And...No.
我們不需要在這上面辯論啊。我們是科學家，我們能自己做實驗。我提議我們囚禁兩個流浪漢，然后...不行。
You didn't even let me finish. Forget it!
你都還沒讓我說完呢。別鬧了！
So, you can experiment on all the apes you want. But I want to manipulate the emotions of two captive human beings, suddenly I'm the monster.
所以你愛怎么實驗猩猩就怎么實驗。但如果是我想操控兩個被囚禁人類的情緒，我就瞬間成了大魔王是嗎。
Why don't you just do the test?
為什么你不自己做這測試呢？
In the interest of science, I'd be willing to.
為了科學，我很樂意。
What? You're okay with an experiment where you have to answer awkward questions about your innermost feelings?
什么？你會愿意接受一場你得回答最深層內心想法的尷尬問題的實驗嗎？
Yes. Please, can I do it with him? Please? !
是啊。拜托拜托，讓我跟他做這實驗行嗎？
I've been listening to Sheldon's feelings on things for ten years. Tag, you're it.
我聽了謝爾頓對人事物的感受足足十年了。換人，你上場吧。
Yeah, but what if the experiment works?
萬一實驗成功了怎么辦？
I'm not gonna fall in love with Sheldon.
我不會愛上謝爾頓。
That's what I said. Before I knew it, he pontificated his way right into my heart.
我當年也這么說。結果他以迅雷不及掩耳之勢霸道地侵占了我的心。
Uh, fun fact: "pontificate" comes from the Latin word "pontifex," which means "bridge builder" or "pope." In love yet?
趣味知識："霸道"是來自拉丁文里的"教皇"，有著"造橋人"或"教皇"的意思。愛上了嗎？
Just out of curiosity, Penny, if this experiment does make us fall in love, would you drive me to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for Gary Con?
佩妮，我就好奇，如果這個實驗真讓我們墜入了愛河？你會愿意載我去威斯康星州的日內瓦湖城參加加里大會嗎？
It's the only convention celebrating the life and work of Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons.
這是唯一一個慶祝加里·吉蓋克斯的一生與成就的大會。他是《龍與地下城》[桌游]的創始者之一。
You know what? I can honestly say if we fall in love, not only will I drive you there, I will buy you all the dragon T-shirts you want.
其實呢，我誠心告訴你。如果我們愛上對方，我不止會載你去那里，我還會買所有你想要的龍T恤給你。
Okay, babe, let's do this.
來吧，寶貝兒，咱們來吧。
You guys are really being calm about Penny and Sheldon doing this thing. If it were me, II'd be a little nervous. Why?
你們真的能這么冷靜面對佩妮與謝爾頓做這個實驗的事嗎？如果我是你們，我就會有點緊張。為什么？
Well, even if the study's nonsense, II don't believe in tempting fate. Same reason I wouldn't use a Ouija board, or pick a fight with an Asian guy.
就算那研究只是胡扯，我這個人還是不敢拼人品。所以我也不愿意用碟仙板，或者招惹亞洲人。
Well, he probably doesn't know karate, but...why risk it?
雖然他應該不會空手道，但是...干嘛冒險呢？
I think we're safe.
我想我們沒啥好擔心的。
Well, that's what the bullies at Bruce Lee's high school thought. And then, bam! Karate.
李小龍高中里的小混混也是這么想啊。結果咧，哇噠！空手道。
Well, are we just gonna sit here while they do the experiment?
我們就干坐在這里等他們做完實驗嗎？
The two of us could do it. Yeah, sure, that might be fun.
我跟你也可以做啊。行啊，應該挺好玩的。
What's the first question?
第一個問題是什么？
Hang on. Okay. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?"
稍等。好的。"如果可以跟世上任何人共進晚餐，你會選擇誰呢？"
I can honestly say Penny.
我真心會選佩妮。
Then I choose a janitor. 'Cause I'm about to throw up.
那我會選清潔工，因為我要吐了。
I'm in love. Let's do something else.
我戀愛了。來做點別的吧。
Ooh, uh, Emily gets off work soon. Why don't the four of us go out? Okay. Sounds good.
艾米麗快下班了。我們四個人可以一起出去玩啊？行啊。聽起來不錯。
Should we call Howard and Bernadette?
我們要打電話問問霍華德跟伯納黛特嗎？
I don't know what time their plane gets in, but let me, let me shoot them a text.
我不知道他們什么時候下機，不過我發條短信問問看吧。
Did he say anything about the funeral?
他有說葬禮怎么樣嗎？
Not much, but he seemed to be in a pretty good place.
沒怎么說，不過感覺他挺好的。
Are you kidding me? ! You lost my mother's ashes? !
開什么玩笑？！你們居然把我媽的骨灰弄丟了？！
No, II'm just saying that sometimes bags are misrouted.
不是，我只是說有時候行李會被轉錯地方。
All right, fine. Where did you misroute the only woman who ever loved me? The first...well, first, I meant first.
好吧，行。那這世上唯一愛過我的女人被轉錯去哪了？第一個... 我是說第一個愛我。
I just need some information. Uh, what's the flight number? 816.
我需要一些信息。航班號是多少？816。
I really did mean first. Just drop it. And can you describe the bag?
我真的是指第一個。別說了。你能描述一下那個行李嗎？
Um, well, it's, uh, black. There's a red ribbon tied to the handle...The world's greatest mom is in the shoe compartment!
是黑色的。把手上系有紅色緞帶。世界上最偉大的媽媽就在放鞋的隔層里！
You ready to begin? Yup. Be right there. I assume you don't want wine.
準備好開始了嗎？好了，馬上過來。我猜不用給你倒酒了吧。
Correct. You're not supposed to drink alcohol when operating heavy machinery.
正確。在操作重型機械時千萬不能喝酒。
What heavy machinery? Let's just start.
什么重型機械？開始吧。
Well, as a Texas gentleman, I'm inclined to say ladies first. Although, I'm concerned that level of politeness and charm might make you fall in love with me before the test even begins.
作為一名德州的紳士，我會傾向于女士優先。雖然我擔心我這么有禮貌這么有魅力，可能會導致你在測試沒開始之前就愛上我。
Perhaps we should flip a coin. Or if you're familiar with the rules of Rock, Paper, Scissors...Question one.
要不我們扔硬幣決定吧。或者如果你會玩剪刀石頭布也行 ...問題一。
"Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" Living or dead?
"如果可以跟世上任何人共進晚餐，你會選擇誰呢？"活的還是死的？
Just says "Anyone in the world." I guess that means living.
上面只說"世上任何人"，我猜應該是活的吧。
Ah, that's just as well. As much as I'd love to meet Euclid-- inventor of the geometric proof-- he probably wore sandals and I cannot look at toes during dinner.
那也無妨。盡管我非常想見歐幾里得"古希臘數學家"——幾何證明的發明者——可他很可能穿著拖鞋"當年穿著"，我吃飯時可不想看到腳趾。
Oh, I know! The person I'd most like to have dinner with is myself.
我想到了！我最想共進晚餐的人就是我自己。
You sure that's your choice? 'Cause I've had that dinner.
你確定這個選擇嗎？因為我可是跟"他"吃過飯哦。
Well, I haven't. And while they say never meet your heroes, I just don't see how I could disappoint. Who would you choose?
我還沒有。人們常說不要跟自己的英雄見面，但我不覺得我會讓人失望。你會選擇誰？
Robert Downey, Jr.
小羅伯特·唐尼"演員"。
You...I didn't think of Iron Man. You know, maybe after myself and I have dinner, we can meet you two for dessert.
你...我沒想到鋼鐵俠。或許我和自己共進晚餐后，可以找你們一起吃個甜點。
So, what do you guys want to do? Well, we're the ones tagging along, you pick.
你們倆想做點什么？我們倆是跟屁蟲，你們定吧。
Have you ever been to an escape room? Mm-mm, what's that?
你們玩過密室逃脫游戲嗎？那是什么？
Um...it's kind of like interactive theater, except you have to solve puzzles in a certain amount of time to get out. There's one downtown where they trap you in a room with a zombie.
有點像互動式劇場，不過為了逃出密室你必須在規定時間內解出謎題。市中心有一間，把人和一個僵尸關在一起。
Oh. So, kind of like what's happening with Penny right now.
有點像現在佩妮的處境嘛。
"What would constitute a perfect day for you?"
"你心中最完美的一天是做哪些事呢？"
Uh, well...I'd probably sleep in, do a little yoga, then lie on the beach while cute cabana boys brought me drinks and...probably get a massage and then cap off the night with some dancing.
這個嘛...我很可能睡個懶覺，做做瑜伽。然后去海灘上躺著，有帥氣的小伙子給我端喝的...可能會去做按摩，晚上跳跳舞來結束這完美的一天。
That's it? Yeah, why? You didn't mention Leonard. He's there.
就這樣嗎？是啊，怎么了？你完全沒提到萊納德。他也在啊。
I don't think so. Leonard can't stand yoga, the beach, massages or dancing.
我可不這么認為。萊納德受不了瑜伽、海灘、 按摩或跳舞。
Yeah, well, he brought a book, okay? What's yours?
他帶了書在一邊看，行了嗎？你的答案是什么？
Uh, I wake up. Uh, I enjoy some French toast with butter and syrup.
我早上醒來，享用了澆上黃油和楓糖的法式吐司。
Uh, then a wormhole opens, and whisks me millions of years into the future where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race.
然后一個蟲洞打開，帶我穿越到數百萬年后的未來。用我超群的智慧去拯救掠奪成性的外星種族殘害下最后一名人類。
Interesting, you didn't mention Amy.
奇怪，你也沒提艾米啊。
Who do you think made the French toast with butter and syrup?
你覺得澆上黃油和楓糖的法式吐司是誰做的？
You're about to enter the lab of the late Dr. David Saltzberg. While conducting studies on slowing the aging process, there was a catastrophic accident and he died. Or did he?
你們即將進入已故大衛·薩爾茲伯格博士的實驗室。在進行延緩衰老過程的研究時出現了災難性事故，他不幸身亡。真死了嗎？
Ladies? Are you being polite or scared? Yup. Ah, what a room! This is cool.
女士優先？你是出于禮貌還是膽小？是的。這房間厲害啦！真酷。
So, how do we start?
我們該怎么開始？
We have to look for the clues hidden around the room.
我們要找出藏在這房間的線索。
Uh, wasn't there supposed to be a zombie? Okay, let's hope one of the clues is written on a pair of clean underwear.
這里不是應該有個僵尸嗎？好吧，希望其中一條線索是寫在一條干凈的褲衩上。
Mr. And Mrs. Wolowitz? As far as I can tell, your bag arrived in Los Angeles.
沃羅威茨夫婦？據我所知，你們的行李已經到達洛杉磯。
So, where is it? I don't know, perhaps somebody took it off the carousel by mistake?
那它在哪里？我不知道，可能有人不小心從行李轉盤上拿走了？
So, some stranger has my mom? Is that what you're telling me? My poor mother can be anywhere in Los Angeles right now?
所以某個陌生人把我媽帶走了？你是這個意思嗎？我可憐的母親現在可能在洛杉磯的任何地方？
II wish I was telling you that. Um...but the passenger could've gotten on an international flight.
我希望我是這個意思。但那名乘客也可能已經坐上國際航班飛走了。
Oh, okay, great! So, your entire job is to find lost luggage, and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet Earth!
這下可好！所以你的工作是尋找丟失的行李，而你幫我把我母親的所在范圍縮小到整個地球！
I'm sorry! WWould 500 frequent-flyer miles help? That could get you to Sacramento.
非常抱歉！送你們500英里飛行里程好嗎？可以讓你們飛到薩克拉門托哦。
"If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?"
"如果你明早一覺醒來發現自己獲得了某種能力，你希望是什么能力？"
Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.
我不想山寨圣經故事，不過能把水變成酒[耶穌] 還是挺酷的。
I don't think you're taking this seriously.
你完全沒有嚴肅對待這個實驗。
Come on, I'm just having some fun with you.
我在逗你玩呢。
I believe what you're doing is using humor to avoid vulnerability.
我想你是借插科打諢逃避你內心的弱點。
