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初來(lái)乍到第二季(MP3+中英字幕):第6集早安奧蘭多

時(shí)間:2017-06-06 14:36:00 來(lái)源:可可英語(yǔ) 編輯:Vicki ? 可可英語(yǔ)APP下載 | 可可官方微信:ikekenet

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Call me crazy. But this pizza just tastes less good.

你們可以覺得我瘋了，但這披薩真的沒那么好吃了

It's right angle. Try to make us learn to lunch.

沒錯(cuò)，就是想讓我們學(xué)會(huì)怎么好好吃午餐

Eddie, it's your girl.

埃迪，你妹子來(lái)了

Did she said hi?

她打招呼了嗎

I don't know.

我不知道

Should I?! I don't know!

我該打招呼嗎，我不知道

What is going on with you guys? I don't know.

你們?cè)趺床徽f(shuō)話啊，我不知道

It's been two weeks since the fall ball,

舞會(huì)已經(jīng)過去兩個(gè)星期了

and she hasn't even talked to me...

但她都沒有跟我說(shuō)過話

which is crazy because that mess was mad romantic.

真的太瘋狂了，因?yàn)楫?dāng)時(shí)亂舞的時(shí)候浪漫到飛起

She punched me in the armpit.

她一拳打中我的胳肢窩

It was amazing.

感覺太美妙了

Yeah, that night was crazy.

對(duì)，那天晚上真瘋狂

Becca T. And I split a Capri sun,

貝卡·踢和我共飲一杯可沛利飲料

and now she just walks around like nothing even happened.

但現(xiàn)在她卻和我擦肩而過，好像什么都沒發(fā)生過一樣

We shared a straw.

我們可是共用一根吸管

I feel you.

我懂你的感覺

Sarah S. Slapped a slap bracelet on me at the dance.

薩拉·艾斯跳舞的時(shí)候把反扣手鐲甩到我身上

Where is it now?

手鐲現(xiàn)在在哪里

I lost it in the collection plate at church.

我把它落在教堂的奉獻(xiàn)盤里了

Now it belongs to Jesus.

現(xiàn)在它屬于耶穌了

I just don't get it.

我就是想不明白

I thought Alison really liked me.

我以為艾莉森是真的喜歡我

I guess I was wrong.

但我想我錯(cuò)了

Your girlfriend wanted me to give that to you.

你女朋友要我給你的

Wha-a-a-a...

搞什么

Right angle got caught in my pipe.

我被披薩嗆到了

Talk to the boss's wife.

跟老板娘聊天

It's okay. She doesn't hate you. It's all in your head.

沒事的，她不討厭你的，都是你自己胡思亂想而已

How's it going, Jessica?

最近怎么樣啊，杰西卡

Are you joking?

你在逗我嗎

I... if it was funny. Was it funny?

我，如果好笑的話，你覺得好笑嗎

Nothing is funny, Nancy.

一點(diǎn)都不好笑，南茜

I bought an investment property

我買了棟房子用來(lái)投資

which, it turns out, is riddled with termites.

結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)房子里滿是白蟻洞

That's right... termites are real.

沒錯(cuò)，白蟻是真的

The house has already been tented, so now

房子已經(jīng)在清理中了，所以現(xiàn)在

it's just sort of standing there losing money...

就是一棟矗在那的賠錢貨

kind of like you.

跟你有點(diǎn)像啊

You did it, Nancy. You made her see you.

你做到了，南茜，你讓她看見你了

And then she said, "Squeeze 'em?

然后她說(shuō)，捏緊他們

Uh, I bought 'em!"

不好意思，我買了的

Boss, some customers want to meet you.

老板，有幾位客人想要見你

They're celebrities... from television.

他們是名人，電視上的

I would like to introduce you

我很榮幸為您介紹

to Gus and Mey-Mey from "Good Morning Orlando."

來(lái)自《早安奧蘭多》欄目的格斯和梅梅

It's okay. We're on at 4:00 A.M.

沒關(guān)系，我們是凌晨四點(diǎn)檔的

Our core demo is truckers clocking on

我們的核心觀眾群是剛上班的卡車司機(jī)

and hookers clocking off.

和下班的妓女

Well, both are welcome here at Cattleman's.

歡迎他們光臨牧場(chǎng)牛排餐廳

I mean, as customers, not... we don't encourage prostitution.

我是說(shuō)，作為消費(fèi)者而來(lái)，不是，我們不鼓勵(lì)賣淫

Is this a sting?

這是試探嗎

Because you have to show me your badge if I ask you.

因?yàn)槲乙?qǐng)你們亮出你們的證件

Boss, their show is on Channel 7...

老板，他們的節(jié)目在第七頻道播出

you know, with the duck.

你知道的，那只鴨子

That does the weather. The weather duck.

播天氣的那只，那只天氣鴨

Oh. I love ducks.

我愛鴨子

Seriously, are you guys cops?

說(shuō)真的，你們是警察嗎（模仿唐老鴨）

Did you see that? That was amazing!

你瞧見了嗎，太有才了

I really don't do impre...

我真的不模仿的

Adrian!

艾德里安

Okay, you have to come on our show.

好了，你得來(lái)上我們節(jié)目

Oh, no, I couldn't. You got to.

不，我不行，你必須得去

Yes, the audience would eat that up,

是的，觀眾們會(huì)很喜歡你的表演的

and... and you can talk about your restaurant.

還有，你可以講講你的餐廳

He'll do it!

他會(huì)去的

The exposure will increase business,

曝光度會(huì)增加生意的

which will help cover the unforeseen expenses

有助于彌補(bǔ)投資房產(chǎn)上

from the investment property.

沒預(yù)見到的開銷

What expenses?

什么開銷

You were so funny today at the restaurant.

你今天在餐廳里可有意思了

Your impressions... they're really getting better.

你的模仿，真的越來(lái)越好了

Oh, thank you.

謝謝

Boys, your father is going to be on "Good Morning Orlando."

孩子們，你們的爸爸要上《早安奧蘭多》了

With Gus and Mey-Mey?

和格斯還有梅梅一起嗎

You just blew my mind!

真是不可思議

You just blew my... my flippin' mind!

真是太，太不可思議了

You watch that show?

你看那節(jié)目

So that's how you stay current. Huh.

所以你才能保持在流行前線上啊

What are you doing with your body?

你扭成這樣是在干嘛

Celebrating.

慶祝

Alison is officially my girlfriend.

艾莉森正式成為我的女朋友了

What? When did that happen?

什么，什么時(shí)候的事情

Apparently, two weeks ago.

很顯然，是在兩周之前

I had no idea we were even dating.

我甚至都不知道我們是在約會(huì)

I guess that's how things work in 7th grade.

我想七年級(jí)的學(xué)生就是這樣子的

Love moves fast and quiet, like Miss Jackson says.

正如杰克森小姐說(shuō)的，愛情來(lái)無(wú)影去無(wú)蹤

Well, if grandma had been awake, she would've pressed "Play,"

要是奶奶還醒著，她會(huì)按播放鍵的

and Janet would have said, "That's the Way Love Goes."

而珍妮特就會(huì)說(shuō)，這就是愛

No, grandma, wait. It's too...

不要，奶奶，等等，太

Can't fight the music.

無(wú)法抵抗音樂的律動(dòng)

'Sup? 'Sup?

你好啊，你好啊

'Sup?

你好哇

Eddie. We were just talking about Alison's friends.

埃迪，我們剛才在聊艾莉森的朋友們

Ugh. I knew this was coming.

呃，我就知道會(huì)是這樣

I wish I could hook you guys up with my girl's homegirls,

我希望我能幫你們釣到我妹紙的閨蜜們

but you know why I can't, right?

但是你們知道為什么我不能，對(duì)吧

What? You're gonna make me say it?

什么，我非得說(shuō)出來(lái)嗎

Okay.

好吧

Brian, you need to grow.

布萊恩，長(zhǎng)點(diǎn)個(gè)吧

Trent, dry-clean your jacket.

特倫特，干洗下你的夾克吧

Walter, racism.

沃特，種族偏見

And, Dave, I'm sorry, but you're a teardown.

還有，戴夫，不好意思，但是你已經(jīng)玩完了

We already have girlfriends!

我們已經(jīng)有女朋友了

What?! Who?

什么，誰(shuí)

Like we said... Alison's friends.

我們說(shuō)過了，艾莉森的朋友們

Apparently, we've all been dating since the fall ball.

顯然，我們繼秋季舞會(huì)后就都在約會(huì)了

Seriously? That's awesome!

真的假的，太棒了

Guess you guys got my overflow...

你們感受到我

trickle down love-onomics.

滿到溢出來(lái)的愛了吧

Racism? Why am I a teardown?

種族偏見，我怎么就玩完了

Your girlfriends asked me

你女朋友要我來(lái)問你

to ask you if you guys want to group-date.

你們?cè)覆辉敢鈦?lái)場(chǎng)集體約會(huì)

The mall, today, 3:00, by the escalators.

商場(chǎng)，今天，三點(diǎn)，自動(dòng)扶梯那

Yeah. Awesome!

好啊，太棒了

Yeah.

耶

Wait. Why are you the messenger, Ned?

等等，奈德，為什么是你傳話

Just be at the mall, man.

乖乖去商場(chǎng)得了

Now what?

現(xiàn)在干嘛

Look!

看

I-I guess we go up.

我們上去吧

All right. Let's go up.

好的，我們上去

They're coming down!

她們下來(lái)了

But we're going up.

但是我們?cè)谕?/div>

Hey! Hey!

嘿，嘿

Hey.

嘿

What just happened?

剛剛發(fā)生了什么

Should we go back down?

我們要回到下面去嗎

They're not turning around.

她們沒回頭

They're walking into wet seal.

她們走進(jìn)維特希爾服裝店了

I...guess that was it.

我猜這就結(jié)束了

Cool!

贊

We just went on our first date!

我們剛進(jìn)行了我們的第一次約會(huì)

Yeah!

耶

Celebrate with an Orange Julius?

來(lái)杯鮮果露慶祝下

Hell yeah, let's do it!

必須的，走吧

Trent, your nose is bleeding, man.

特倫特，你鼻子在流血

Hell yeah, it is!

必須的，是啊

Good morning, Orlando.

早上好，奧蘭多

We want to take you live to Mindy Torres

現(xiàn)在來(lái)看看明迪·托雷斯在戶外的

out in the field with some breaking news.

現(xiàn)場(chǎng)突發(fā)新聞報(bào)道

Mindy? A hullabaloo was caused this morning

明迪，今早有些騷亂

when an employee discovered an endangered gopher tortoise

因?yàn)橛袀€(gè)雇員發(fā)現(xiàn)了一只瀕危的哥法地鼠龜

blocking a rally's drive-through.

它擋住了萊利飯店的行車道

People have placed their orders, but cars are unable

人們已經(jīng)點(diǎn)好單了

to drive through to pick up their orders.

但是車輛無(wú)法通過去取單

I need hash browns!

我要我的薯餅

Of course, everyone's first concern

當(dāng)然，人們首要考慮的還是

is for the safety of the tortoise.

那只烏龜?shù)陌踩?/div>

Coffee!

咖啡

Well, thank you, Mindy, and we will check back in

嗯，謝謝你，明迪

with you in a few hours for an update. Wait, what...

我們一會(huì)再聯(lián)系你了解最新進(jìn)展，等等

I'll tell you, Gus,

我跟你說(shuō)哦，格斯

if a turtle was blocking me from my coffee,

要是有只烏龜擋著我去取咖啡

I'd super Mario it.

我會(huì)像超級(jí)瑪麗一樣踩扁它

Okay.

好的

Well, it's time for the Gus-light,

嗯，現(xiàn)在進(jìn)入格斯之光

where we shine a spotlight on local businesses.

我們聚焦當(dāng)?shù)仄髽I(yè)

Joining us today is local entrepreneur...

今日到場(chǎng)的節(jié)目嘉賓的是當(dāng)?shù)仄髽I(yè)家

Louis Huang.

路易斯·黃

Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to join us.

感謝您百忙之中抽空參加我們的節(jié)目

Well, thank you for, uh, having me.

謝謝你邀請(qǐng)我

Uh, as you know, my restaurant is Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse,

呃，你知道的，我的餐館是牧場(chǎng)牛排餐廳

which is exit 4b, uh, off of I-4, uh, north.

在4B，呃，I-4，呃，北邊

But if you're coming south, it's exit 4a off of I-4 south.

但是要是你從南邊來(lái)的話，地址在4A I-4南邊

Great directions. Yeah.

很好的導(dǎo)航，是的

And in addition to being a cattleman,

除去飯店老板的身份外

Louis here is also a funnyman.

路易斯還是個(gè)很有趣的人

He did some amazing Right

他前幾天，沒錯(cuò)

celebrity impressions for us the other day.

模仿名人的表演真的非常棒

Yes, he did.

是，確實(shí)是

I can't see nothin'.

我什么都看不見

Cut my eyes, Mick. Cut 'em.

挖了我的眼睛吧，邁克，挖了它們

I can't see.

我看不見了

Hey, Rocky Balboa is in the studio all of a sudden.

嘿，像是洛奇·巴爾博亞到了我們演播室一樣

You got it!

沒錯(cuò)

Why... why is that so funny?

怎么，怎么這么好笑

Because Stallone talks funny!

因?yàn)槭诽埡芨阈?/div>

You're killing it!

你太棒了

You're very good!

你真棒

What have you done?

你都干了些什么

You're supposed to go out there

你本該在那

and promote the restaurant, not make a fool out of yourself.

推廣我們的餐館，而不是做小丑

What are you talkin' 'bout, woman? You love my impressions.

你在說(shuō)什么，女士，你明明很喜歡我的模仿

That was Arnold.

那是阿諾德

Not on television.

不要在電視上玩這套

What's the difference?

有什么區(qū)別啊

Name one Chinese person on TV.

舉一個(gè)中國(guó)人上電視的例子

Pat Morita.

森田則之

Japanese, and you know it.

他是日本人，你知道的

What's your point?

你想說(shuō)什么

We don't get opportunities to be on TV.

我們很難得在電視上露面

That's why when we do, we need to present our best face...

也就是說(shuō)當(dāng)我們有機(jī)會(huì)時(shí)，要把我們最好的一面展現(xiàn)出來(lái)

not clown around, like you did today.

不是像你昨天那樣扮丑

They loved me.

他們喜歡我

You know what it reminded me of?

你知道你讓我想起什么了嗎

Your favorite character.

你最喜歡的電影角色

No.

不

From "Sixteen Candles."

《十六根蠟燭》

Don't say it.

別說(shuō)出來(lái)

Long... Duk... Dong.

龍德東

Yeah, so, 3 bucks an hour to make little pizza tables...

生產(chǎn)披薩盒子里的小桌子一小時(shí)能賺三美元

not bad, right?

挺好的，是吧

Oh, here comes a cab.

來(lái)了一輛出租車

You should yell "Automobile!"

你應(yīng)該大聲喊，汽車

Ha ha. Right.

哈哈，對(duì)啊

Louis, you missed your opportunity, man.

路易斯，你怎么能錯(cuò)失良機(jī)呢

You should've yelled

你應(yīng)該大聲喊

"Oh, sexy girlfriend!"

哦，性感的妹子

Right.

說(shuō)得對(duì)

Yeah. Yeah.

是吧

The Chinese guy in that movie

那個(gè)電影里中國(guó)人的形象

became what everybody thought all Chinese people were.

讓大家以為中國(guó)人都是如此

He made people think that was okay.

他讓人們覺得這無(wú)可厚非

That's why when we get opportunities like this,

所以當(dāng)我們有這樣的機(jī)會(huì)時(shí)

it matters.

要好好把握

Look, I was just a person

我只是一個(gè)小人物

joking around on a morning talk show.

在早晨脫口秀里談笑風(fēng)生

This is not a Long Duk Dong situation.

這和龍德東不是一碼事

Hello, dad. Saw the show.

爸爸，你好，我看過節(jié)目了

Very hurtful.

我很受傷

Really?

真的嗎

I taught you Donald Duck.

唐老鴨是我教給你的

And you stole it!

你抄襲我

Fellas, we're doing it!

伙計(jì)們，干得漂亮

We livin'.

不枉此生

Remember when we went on the mall date

還記得我們?cè)谏虉?chǎng)

with our girlfriends

和女朋友約會(huì)的時(shí)候

and they were like "Hi!"

她們說(shuō)嗨

And we were like "Hi"?

我們說(shuō)嗨

Dave.

戴夫

Becca G. Wants to break up with you.

貝卡·吉要和你分手

I don't understand.

我不明白

I thought I was dating Sarah S.

我以為我和薩拉·艾斯是一對(duì)

What? No.

什么，才不是呢

I'm dating Sarah S. You're dating Becca G.

我和薩拉·艾斯在一起，你的女朋友是貝卡·吉

Well, you were.

好吧，前女友

No, I'm dating Becca G.

不，貝卡·吉是我女票

But wait. Then why did she break up with you?

等等，她為什么要和你分手

Hold up. Did you just say "Becca G." Or "Becca T."?

等一下，你剛才說(shuō)的是貝卡·吉還是貝卡·踢

'Cause I'm dating Becca T.

因?yàn)樨惪āぬ呖墒呛臀以谝黄鹉?/div>

I think.

吧

This is messed up.

完全亂了

You guys don't even know who you're dating?!

你們連和誰(shuí)約會(huì)都不清楚嗎

Do you?

你知道嗎

Yeah, man. I'm dating Alison.

當(dāng)然了，我和艾莉森在一起呢

How can you be so sure?

你怎么能這么確定呢

Because we really like each other,

因?yàn)槲覀冋嫘南鄲?/div>

and we danced in the mosh pit at the fall ball.

而且我們?cè)谖钑?huì)的狂舞區(qū)一起跳舞

She pushed me in the mosh pit, too.

她在狂舞區(qū)也推了我一把

Me too.

加一

Me too.

加二

Me too.

加三

Hey, we saw you on "Good Morning Orlando."

我們?cè)凇对绨矈W蘭多》上看到你了

Hilarious!

太搞笑了

Don't push it,

別逼我

or I'll give you a war you won't believe.

不然我會(huì)給你好看（《第一滴血》中的經(jīng)典對(duì)白）

Automobile!

汽車

What did you just say?

你剛才說(shuō)什么

I ordered the veal.

我點(diǎn)了小牛肉

He did.

是這樣的

This guy cracks me up!

這家伙真是逗死我了

I'll give you a war you won't believe!

我會(huì)給你好看

Long... Duk... Dong!

龍，德，東

Automobile!

汽車

Sexy girlfriend!

性感的妹子

And then everyone was laughing,

然后所有人都狂笑不止

but in a gross way, which made me feel gross.

笑得很惡心，讓我也覺得有點(diǎn)惡心

Are people laughing with me or at me?

他們是在和我說(shuō)笑，還是在笑話我呢

At you. That's what I was saying.

笑話你，我之前是怎么說(shuō)的

I need to go back on that show.

我得再去上一次節(jié)目

I will iron your television pants.

我去把你的上電視專用褲熨好

So, Alison pushed us all in the mosh pit,

這么說(shuō)來(lái)，艾莉森在舞池推了我們每個(gè)人

but were those pushes platonic or passionate?

但她對(duì)誰(shuí)才是真心真意的呢

Evidence is inconclusive.

證據(jù)還不夠確切

Who are you, woman?

你到底是誰(shuí)，女人

Well, at least we know who you're dating, Walter.

至少我們知道你和誰(shuí)約會(huì)了，沃特

What do you mean?

什么意思

Well, you know...

你懂的

I'm just saying...

我的意思是

I-it's the south.

南方那個(gè)

That's messed up, man.

真是胡說(shuō)

I mean, Edith is the one I like, but it's unrelated.

我的意思是，我的確喜歡伊迪絲，但這并不相關(guān)

There's got to be a way to figure out who our girlfriends are.

肯定有辦法弄清楚誰(shuí)是我們的女票

Why don't you just ask them?

你們?yōu)槭裁床恢苯訂枂査齻?/div>

You crazy, ese?

你瘋啦

You have any idea how mad they'll be at us?

你知道她們會(huì)多生氣嗎

I think if you're honest... Just go away, okay?

我認(rèn)為如果你們能真誠(chéng)地，快走吧，好嗎

This is big-kid business.

這是大孩子的正事兒

Hey, I'm just here to get my tub of gak

我只是來(lái)把你不問自取的

you borrowed without asking.

東西拿回去

Of course there's hair in it.

果然里面有頭發(fā)

Hello?

你好

It's one of the girls.

是其中一個(gè)女孩

Is it Becca G.? Did she get my letter?

是貝卡·吉嗎，她收到我的信了嗎

I'll find out who it is.

我會(huì)弄清楚她是誰(shuí)

Sorry about that.

抱歉啦

So, you like soda?

你喜歡喝蘇打水嗎

Mm-hmm.

嗯哼

Uh-huh.

啊哈

Yeah, sure. That sounds great.

好的，聽起來(lái)不錯(cuò)

Peace.

拜拜

I don't know who that was.

我不知道是誰(shuí)

But the girls do want to have another group date...

但是她們明天想去旱冰場(chǎng)

at the roller rink tomorrow.

再來(lái)一次集體約會(huì)

That's suicide!

那簡(jiǎn)直是自殺

They'll bust us wide open,

她們肯定會(huì)看穿我們

and then none of us will have girlfriends.

這樣誰(shuí)都別想有女朋友了

I can't go back to being single.

我不要再做單身狗

At the rink, all of us will fall down at the same time,

在旱冰場(chǎng)我們一起摔倒

and then the girl who's our girlfriend

這樣我們的女朋友就會(huì)過來(lái)

will come to help us because she loves us,

因?yàn)樗龕勰悖钥隙〞?huì)來(lái)拉你一把

and then we'll know who she is.

然后就真相大白啦

What if two girls help us up? Do we get two?

要是有兩個(gè)女孩來(lái)拉我呢，我就有兩個(gè)女朋友了嗎

Well, we finally have an answer

我們終于能夠解答

to that question everyone's been asking...

這個(gè)大家都在疑惑的問題了

why doesn't anybody move the damn thing?

為什么沒人把那玩意搬走

Apparently, human touch

很明顯，人類的接觸

would render the endangered tortoise infertile.

會(huì)導(dǎo)致瀕危滅絕的烏龜不育

Maybe that tortoise should try

也許那只烏龜應(yīng)該嘗嘗

being an unmarried woman over 40.

四十未嫁的滋味

Oh!

哦

Stay strong, mind. He's out there.

堅(jiān)強(qiáng)一點(diǎn)，明迪，真命天子會(huì)有的

Yeah, yeah.

是啊

Nothing sadder than a woman over 27.

沒有什么比過了二十七歲的女人更悲劇了

Oh.

哦

Next up, we have our old friend

接下來(lái)，有請(qǐng)我們的老朋友

who's back in the studio... Louis Huang.

路易斯·黃回到演播室

Louis, you were cracking us up the other day

路易斯，你前兩天的模仿

with your impressions.

真是逗死我們了

Well, you know, I'm glad I exist to entertain you.

你知道的，我很高興我的存在是為了取悅你

So, do you do Bill Cosby?

你會(huì)模仿比爾·考斯比嗎

I love him.

我很喜歡他

Me too. America's moral compass.

我也是，他是美國(guó)的道德指南針

Well, you know, I'm already doing an impression.

你知道嗎，我已經(jīng)在模仿了

Of... of what?

模仿什么

A successful Chinese-American business owner

一個(gè)努力工作付出的

who's worked hard for everything he has.

成功的美籍華裔商人

Uh, o-okay.

好吧

All right, how about we, uh...

那不如這樣吧

How about we talk about your restaurant, right?

我們談?wù)勀憬?jīng)營(yíng)的飯店好嗎

Yeah! That seems to be what you want to...

看起來(lái)你想和我們講講

Okay. Well, it's a steakhouse.

好的，那是一家牛排餐館

Oh, yum! An American restaurant.

好吃噠，一家美式餐館

That's right... Chinese people can make all kinds of food.

沒錯(cuò)，中國(guó)人能做各式各樣的食物

Oh! I made pot stickers once... from frozen.

哦，我曾經(jīng)做過鍋貼，速凍的

So, I-is that all Asian culture is to you... pot stickers?

所以這就是你眼中的東方文化嗎，鍋貼

No! No! I didn't mean that.

不，我不是這個(gè)意思

You know what? Let's talk about race.

這樣吧，我們聊一聊種族問題

No, that's a little too serious for the Gus-light...

不，這話題有點(diǎn)太嚴(yán)肅了

Yeah! ...as far as I'm concerned.

是啊，我們換個(gè)話題吧

Oh, okay. So you don't want me to be serious?

哦，是這樣嗎，你們不想讓我認(rèn)真起來(lái)

You just want me to be joking around, be the clown.

你們只想看我開玩笑扮丑嗎

"The Chinese guy's on TV! Make everybody laugh!"

電視上的那種中國(guó)人，逗大家笑的小丑

Let's go to commercial.

讓我們先看一段廣告

Why were you so serious?!

你那么認(rèn)真干嘛

It's a morning show. They have a duck that does the weather.

那只是個(gè)早晨節(jié)目，他們還讓一只鴨子報(bào)天氣呢

You told me that...

是你告訴我

y-you said they were laughing at...

你說(shuō)他們?nèi)⌒ξ?/div>

I... you got in my head!

我被你洗腦了

Well, now everybody thinks

現(xiàn)在大家都覺得

Chinese people have no sense of humor!

中國(guó)人一點(diǎn)幽默感都沒有

What? Did they think we had one before?

什么，他們之前沒有過這種想法嗎

Well, I don't know, but they definitely don't now.

我不知道，但現(xiàn)在他們肯定都這樣認(rèn)為了

You need to go back out there

你必須回去

and show people that you can laugh at yourself.

讓他們知道你會(huì)自黑自嘲

But be serious, too.

但也要認(rèn)真一點(diǎn)

A couple of light jokes... nothing political.

說(shuō)一些輕松的笑話，不要講政治

But don't be boring, either.

但也不要太無(wú)聊

Don't make waves, but be interesting.

別挑釁，有趣一點(diǎn)

And pleasant.

愉快一點(diǎn)

And also smart. You should be smart.

聰明一點(diǎn)，你應(yīng)該聰明一點(diǎn)

And tall.

還要高一點(diǎn)

You realize doing all that is impossible, right?

你自己清楚這些全部達(dá)標(biāo)是不可能的吧

I know.

我知道

I just want it to be perfect.

我只是想十全十美

Well, one person can't be everything.

畢竟一個(gè)人不是萬(wàn)能的

That weather duck isn't going out there

天氣鴨出來(lái)做節(jié)目的時(shí)候

thinking about representing all ducks.

也沒想著要代表所有鴨子

No, he's probably thinking

他可能是在想著

"What the heck is going on here?"

“現(xiàn)在又發(fā)生了什么破事”

Oh, that's not funny! That's not funny.

噢太好笑了，不好笑

Yes, it is, and it's okay that it's funny.

就是好笑，好笑一點(diǎn)沒關(guān)系的

And sometimes a guy doing an impression

有時(shí)候一個(gè)人在模仿別人的時(shí)候

is just a guy doing an impression.

也只是單純?cè)谀７?/div>

Okay. Fine.

好吧

Then go back on the show and just be yourself.

那就重新回到節(jié)目上，做你真實(shí)的自己

I'm banned from the studio.

我被逐出演播室了

Maybe you don't have to go back into the studio.

或許你不一定要回到演播室

Okay, guys, remember the plan...

好了，兄弟們，記住我們的計(jì)劃

same time, fall.

同一時(shí)間，摔倒

Whichever girl comes to each of us, that's our girlfriend.

誰(shuí)來(lái)扶我們，就是我們的女朋友

Got it.

明白

Damn it, Brian!

我去，布萊恩

We're supposed to fall together!

我們應(yīng)該一起摔的

I have weak ankles.

我的腳踝很柔弱的

Couples skate. Grab your partner's hand.

情侶溜冰，抓住你搭檔的手

Come on. Let's skate.

來(lái)吧，我們一起去溜冰

Later, nerds.

一會(huì)見，呆子們

That's it. I'm going in.

不管了，我豁出去了

Ew!

咦

Why are you grabbing my hand?

你干嘛抓我的手

I thought you were my girlfriend.

我以為你是我女朋友

What are you talking about, Trent? I'm your girlfriend.

你在說(shuō)什么，特倫特，我才是你女朋友

How do you not know who your own girlfriend is?

你怎么可以連自己的女朋友都不知道是哪個(gè)

Hey! Leave him alone!

嘿，別針對(duì)他

None of us knew who we were dating.

我們都不知道我們女朋友是誰(shuí)

What?!

什么

Why you gonna tell them that?

你干嘛要告訴她們

Wait... you didn't know we were dating?

等等，你不知道我們?cè)诮煌鶈?/div>

I mean, I did, but, you know,

我的意思是，我知道，但是

you pushed a lot of people in the mosh pit,

你在群魔亂舞區(qū)推過很多人

so I made an evidence board and...

所以我做了個(gè)證據(jù)板，然后

I can't believe this.

簡(jiǎn)直難以相信

Couple coming through!

秀恩愛的來(lái)了

Breaking news...

重大消息

another tortoise has appeared in the shrubbery,

又有一只烏龜出現(xiàn)在灌木叢里

in an apparent effort

很顯然

to guide the first tortoise to safety.

它在盡力引導(dǎo)第一只烏龜回到安全地方

Oh...

噢

Um, I'm glad you said that, uh, Mindy.

額，很高興聽到你這么說(shuō)，明迪

Sorry to barge in like this,

很抱歉這樣打斷你們

but they banned me from the studio.

但他們把我逐出演播室了

Uh, Gus, Mey-Mey...

格斯，梅梅

I just want to apologize for yesterday.

我只是想為昨天的事道歉

I wasn't myself, and, uh, you know,

那不是真正的我，你們知道

myself is... is all I can be, really,

我能做到的，就是我自己，真的

and occasionally a smooth criminal.

有時(shí)候也是個(gè)犯罪高手（邁克爾·杰克遜作品之一）

Shamone! Eee-hee!

來(lái)吧（邁克爾·杰克遜自創(chuàng)的發(fā)音）

Look at that. Hey, forget about the Jackson 5.

你看，嘿，別說(shuō)杰克遜五兄弟了（邁克爾·杰克遜的組合）

We got the Jackson 6 right here.

現(xiàn)在有個(gè)六兄弟了

Oh!

噢

I can't believe you get paid more than me.

我不敢相信你工資比我還高

Ooh!

呼

Ah! Ah!

啊，啊

Michael Jackson?!

邁克爾·杰克遜

I taught him that!

這也是我教他的

Ooh!

哦

Did you figure out your "Big-kids business"?

你解決好你的“大孩子問題”了嗎

What's wrong?

怎么了

I screwed things up with Alison.

我搞砸了我和艾莉森的關(guān)系

I really liked her, and I don't know what to do.

我真的很喜歡她，我不知道怎么做

Have you tried talking to her?

你有試過和她聊聊嗎

No.

沒有

Why not?

為什么

Well, 'cause I don't think

因?yàn)槲矣X得

that's how they do things in seventh grade.

七年級(jí)談戀愛不是這么做的

How's that working for you?

結(jié)果呢

Alison.

艾莉森

Hey, you got anything to say to her,

嘿，如果你要和她說(shuō)話

you can pass a note through me.

你可以傳紙條給我

It's okay, Ned.

沒事的，奈德

I'm listening.

我聽著

To be honest, I didn't even know we were dating,

說(shuō)實(shí)話，我甚至都不知道我們?cè)诮煌?/div>

and when I found out we were,

然后等我發(fā)現(xiàn)原來(lái)是真的

I didn't want to do anything to mess it up,

我不想出任何差池

because I like you a lot.

因?yàn)槲液芟矚g你

And I don't know if we're supposed to be saying that

我也不知道七年級(jí)了我們還能不能

in seventh grade or if we're supposed to be

這么說(shuō)話，也不知道這段對(duì)話

having this conversation on an escalator.

是否應(yīng)該發(fā)生在電梯上

I don't know how any of this works.

我一點(diǎn)都不知道應(yīng)該怎么做

Yeah. It's weird.

是啊，很別扭

I had so much fun with you at the fall ball,

秋季舞會(huì)的時(shí)候我和你玩的很開心

but then my friends were like, "You can't talk to him.

但我的朋友都說(shuō)，你不能和他講話

You're dating him."

你在和他交往呢

Well, I'm sorry we broke up.

好吧，我很遺憾我們分手了

Broke up? We didn't break up. We didn't?

分手，我們沒分手啊，沒嗎

No. That was our first fight, and we got through it.

沒有，那只是我們的第一次爭(zhēng)吵，我們也安然度過了

We did?

沒事了

Yes. And now we're stronger than ever.

嗯，我們的感情更加堅(jiān)固了

A'ight. A'ight.

沒錯(cuò)，沒錯(cuò)

So, are all my friends still dating your friends?

那么，我的朋友還在和你的朋友交往嗎

Oh, hell no.

噢，才沒有呢

In fact, they shouldn't come around for a while...

說(shuō)句實(shí)話，他們最近還是別湊過來(lái)了

especially Dave.

尤其是戴夫

A'ight. A'ight.

沒錯(cuò)，沒錯(cuò)

That makes sense.

很有道理

Walk me to class?

送我去上課嗎

Okay, but just so I'm clear...

好的，但只是想問清楚

you're my girlfriend?

你是我女朋友吧

Yes.

嗯

I'll explain on the way. Come on.

我在路上和你解釋清楚，走吧

The number-one dating rule is to listen to a woman.

談戀愛的第一大準(zhǔn)則就是，聽女人說(shuō)話

"Listen... To... Her."

聽，她，說(shuō)話

What if what she's saying is, uh... Boring?

如果她說(shuō)的東西很無(wú)聊呢

You should still be listening to her.

你也應(yīng)該聽她說(shuō)

Even if she's talking about horses?

如果她談?wù)摰氖邱R呢

Especially when she's talking about horses.

尤其是她在談?wù)擇R的時(shí)候

What if you're scared of horses?

如果你怕馬呢

Don't be scared of horses!

那就別怕馬

"Don't... Be... Scared... Of horses."

別，怕，馬

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重點(diǎn)單詞		查看全部解釋
bracelet	['breislit]	想一想再看 n. 手鐲	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞bracelet 聯(lián)想記憶： brace雙臂，1et小東西－戴在雙臂上的小東西－手鐲，表帶
bust	[bʌst]	想一想再看 n. 半身像，胸部，蕭條，破產(chǎn) v. 打碎	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞bust 聯(lián)想記憶：從bus外看里邊的人：半身像
entertain	[.entə'tein]	想一想再看 v. 娛樂，招待，懷抱
infertile	[in'fə:tɑil]	想一想再看 adj. 貧瘠的，不結(jié)果實(shí)的，不能生育的	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞infertile 聯(lián)想記憶： in不+fert生育+ile表形容詞，“…的”→不毛的，不能生育的
check	[tʃek]	想一想再看 n. 檢查，支票，賬單，制止，阻止物，檢驗(yàn)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，方格圖案	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞check 聯(lián)想記憶： check原是檢查的意思，后來(lái)有這么一幫人喜歡突然阻止你，檢查你的暫住證，所以就有了突然阻止的意思。
criminal	['kriminl]	想一想再看 adj. 犯罪的，刑事的，違法的 n. 罪犯	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞criminal 聯(lián)想記憶： crime罪行+al表名詞，“人，物，狀態(tài)”→犯罪分子
celebrate	['selibreit]	想一想再看 v. 慶祝，慶賀，頌揚(yáng)	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞celebrate 聯(lián)想記憶： cerebr腦，ate吃：吃豬腦－慶祝
impression	[im'preʃən]	想一想再看 n. 印象，效果	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞impression 聯(lián)想記憶： impress印象+ion→印象；感想
trickle	['trikl]	想一想再看 vi. 滴流，慢慢移動(dòng) n. 細(xì)流，徐徐地流
channel	['tʃænl]	想一想再看 n. 通道，頻道，（消息）渠道，海峽，方法 v	聯(lián)想記憶 X 單詞channel 聯(lián)想記憶： chann管道+el表名詞，“人或物”→航道