評論
打印
Ah, I need to go on a diet.
啊，我得節食了
I feel like a sausage in my jeans.
我的腿像香腸一樣塞在牛仔褲里
Please. I can't even tell you've had three kids.
拜托，我根本看不出你是三個孩子的媽
You can't, right?
看不出來嗎
No.
當然
Oh, I was reading about this new cabbage-soup diet.
噢，我看到了一種白菜湯節食餐
Oh!
噢
Oh, friend time over. Time for business meeting.
噢，閨蜜時間結束，生意時間到
Bette Midler.
貝特·邁德爾
Barbara Hershey.
芭芭拉·荷西
Okay.
好吧
After some setbacks, we're ready to
歷經艱辛，我們投資的房產
put our investment property on the market!
可以開售了
Yay! Yes!
好哎，棒
I'm excited!
我太激動了
I know!
我知道
So I just picked these up from the printer
我剛把這些印出來
for our open house on Tuesday.
給我們周二的開放參觀日做準備
We look like a band of nurses.
咱們看起來像一幫護士
We look hot.
很性感啊
Oh, that reminds me...
噢，這讓我想起來
You know how people always have cookies at open houses?
你知道開放參觀的時候會在房子里擺些餅干吧
Well, I was thinking we should have
我在想我們可以準備
mini quiches and bacon instead.
小的乳蛋餅和培根
Ah, but that sounds expensive.
啊，但那個很貴吧
You know what? Yeah, you're right.
你說得對
Yeah, we'll just put that in the future file.
沒錯，還是把它列在未來規劃里吧
Yes.
好
And the next thing is,
下一件事
oh, I was reading about these team-building workshops
我了解到一些公司會為了振奮士氣和解決問題
that companies do for morale and problem-solving...
而開展一些研討會
Honey, I appreciate your initiative,
哈妮，我很欣賞你的主動
but I don't think we have the money
但是我不覺得現在有閑錢
for nonessentials right now.
花在這些沒用的東西上
Okay. That makes sense.
好吧，有道理
Then there's just one more item of business to discuss.
還剩一個關于生意的問題
Um, I noticed in our monthly expenses,
呃，我注意到月開銷中
we spent $500 on something called "Madame x-ing"?
有500美元支付給了一個叫“西英女士”的人
Oh, that's pronounced Madame Xing.
噢，她叫邢女士
She's my fortune teller.
她是我的算命師
What?
什么
We need her. We can't sell the house without her.
我們需要她，我們賣房子必須要她的幫助
Now, how much extra was it to print these fliers in color?
這些彩印額外花費了多少錢
Sorry, what is this fortune teller?
抱歉，算命師是用來干嘛的
I don't know how to explain it to you
如果你沒從字面上理解的話
if you can't get it from the title.
我也不知道還能怎么解釋
She tells fortunes.
她能算命
Why is she on our payroll?
為什么要付錢給她
I've never made an important decision in my life
我每次做重大決定
without consulting Madame Xing.
都少不了邢女士
Should I marry Louis?
我該嫁路易斯嗎
Should I get matching bangs?
我該弄個情侶劉海嗎
Should I give up secretly wanting to be a ventriloquist?
我該默默放棄成為腹語者這條路嗎
So, what'd she say?
她怎么說
Madame Xing was right...
邢女士說得都對
The puppet theater boom never came.
木偶劇場從沒興旺過
I'm sorry.
對不起
I just can't wrap my head around
我實在不理解
us spending $500 a month on a fortune teller.
每月花500美元在一個算命師身上
It's just part of our culture.
這是我們文化的一部分
Consulting with a fortune teller
很多中國人
is something a lot of Chinese people do,
都找算命師算命
like using the dishwasher as a drying rack,
就像我們把洗碗機當成曬衣架
or not saying "Please."
就像我們不說“請”這個詞
Here it comes, Trent.
我要投球了，特倫特
No shame in being beat by a girl.
被女生打敗沒啥好丟人的
I'm secure like that.
我很坦然
Strike!
好球（指沒有擊到的球）
We all know it's a strike, Brian!
我們都知道那是顆好球，布萊恩
I better get home, guys.
我要回去了，大家
See you Saturday, Eddie.
周六見，埃迪
See ya.
再會
Saturday is her birthday.
周六是她生日
What are you gonna get her?
你要給她什么
Ladies love haikus.
女生都喜歡緋句
Clever crafted word parties.
聰明地將各種辭藻組合起來
Ladies love haikus.
女生們都愛這種詩
Nah, son. I'm trying to impress my woman,
才不要，伙計，我想要打動她
not depress my woman.
而不是讓她憂郁
Why don't you get her a tube top from the Delia's catalogue?
你為啥不從迪莉婭那里給她選個抹胸
I've got something even classier in mind.
我其實有個更贊的想法
Nice. Does it open, and can you put a little picture inside?
很好，可以打開嗎，能在里面放張小照片嗎
No, ma... Why you got to point out
不能，為啥你非要
what the necklace don't do?
問這些項鏈本來就不該有的功能
It's just a beautiful necklace.
這就是個漂亮的項鏈而已
It better be for $49.99.
它最好真的賣49.99美元
How are you gonna pay for that?
錢從哪來的
Oh, I got the loot.
噢，我有外快
I'm really good at saving.
我可是存錢好手
$5?!
5美元
Barry's coming?
巴里要來了嗎
Only for a few days.
只來幾天
He's got business in Orlando.
他在奧蘭多有個生意
I haven't seen him in years.
我有幾年沒見過他了
Right, ever since you gave him money for that vitamin business.
自從你給他那樁維他命生意投了錢，就再也沒見過他
I told you nobody wanted vitamin "L."
我說過沒人需要維他命L的
Vitamin Luscious was before its time.
感官維他命都是陳年舊事了
He's a leech, Louis.
路易斯，他是個榨你的水蛭
Like a barnacle.
像藤壺一樣
Or a leech.
或者根本就是水蛭
Well, he's not perfect, but he means well.
他做得不夠完美，但他本意是好的
And he's always liked you.
而且他很喜歡你
Remember, he brought you that nice basket of fruit
你記得嗎，他上次來
the last time he visited?
給你帶了個漂亮的果籃
He gave me seven bananas in a babygap shopping bag.
他把七根香蕉裝在Gap嬰兒系列購物袋里送給了我
Dad, can I start working at the restaurant again?
爸，我能重新在餐廳工作嗎
Of course.
當然
And get paid?! Nope.
給我錢嗎，不給
With all the delays in your mom's investment property sale,
因為你媽媽的賣房計劃一拖再拖
money's tight right now.
最近資金很緊張
If you really need money, I saw a "Help wanted" Sign
如果你真的很需要錢，我在鄉村俱樂部的
on the bulletin board at the country club.
告示板上看到一個牌子，上面寫著要招人
Ooh, some ladies need assistance putting lotion on by the pool?
噢，泳池那里有位女士需要幫忙擦乳液的嗎
It's a family new to the neighborhood,
他們一家剛搬到這里
and they have a baby and need help around the house.
他們有個嬰兒，需要人幫忙
Do I get to put l... No. No ladies need lotion.
我能給，不行，沒有女士需要擦乳液
Dmx
Dmx？
I prefer to be called Earl when I'm holding my baby.
當我抱小孩的時候，我更希望別人叫我厄爾
Honey, I can't wait for you to talk to Madame Xing yourself
哈妮，我等不及讓你親自和邢女士談話了
and see how important she is to our business.
這樣你就知道她對我們的生意有多重要
Well, I always like to keep an open mind.
好吧，我思想很開放的
Like the first time I heard about cream cheese,
就像我第一次聽說奶油奶酪
I was like, "Blech!"
當時我很反感
Now, I'm all, "Mmm, mmm, mmm!
可是現在我已經超級習慣了
Can I get some bagel with my cream cheese?
能給我的百吉餅弄點奶油奶酪嗎
You know what I'm saying?"
你懂的吧
It's tasty.
那個很好吃
Wei?
喂
Madame Xing, it's Jessica.
邢女士，我是杰西卡
I'm here with my business partner, who I told you about.
我和我的生意合伙人在一起，我和你說過她
Ah, yes. The skeptic.
啊，我記得，就那個懷疑論者
You have to ask Madame Xing a question
你必須要問邢女士一個
that you want the answer to.
你想要知道答案的問題
Okay.
好吧
Um, will the dolphins make the playoffs?
呃，海豚隊能打贏季后賽嗎
You should stop watching football.
你不能再看橄欖球了
It's not good for your heart.
對你心臟不好
Heart disease runs in my family.
心臟病是我的家族病
How did you know that?
你是怎么知道的
You just got Xing'd.
邢女士說中了
Okay, now that Honey believes, we can move on to business.
好了，哈妮已經相信了，我們可以談生意了
We're putting the house on the market next Tuesday, and I...
我們下周二要開售，然后
No. Don't put the house on the market for three months.
不要，最近三個月都不要出售那個房子
There's darkness that needs to be cleansed.
還有臟的地方沒有清理干凈
Okay. Okay?
好的，好的
And don't bet on the dolphins.
還有不要下注海豚隊
Not with that secondary.
也別賭他們是亞軍
Oh, it is so lucky we called her.
噢，還好我們給她打了電話
We need to change the open-house date on the fliers.
我們需要把傳單上的開售日期改掉
You can't be serious.
你不是認真的吧
You heard Madame Xing.
你聽見邢女士的話了
You don't take any of my suggestions,
我的建議你一點都不采納
but this fortune teller makes one crazy statement,
但這個算命的說了什么鬼話
and you do it, no questions asked?
你都毫無質疑地照做嗎
I value her opinion.
我很重視她的意見
And she values your money.
她卻看重你的錢
500 bucks a month so she can tell us about darkness,
每月給她五百美金，讓她告訴我們房子里有臟東西
but mini quiches and a seminar are wasteful?
而買小乳蛋餅和開一次研討會就是浪費錢
Don't blame me just because your ideas are bad.
別因為你自己的點子爛就怪我
You think you're so smart, Jessica,
杰西卡，你自以為聰明絕頂
but you're really just a sucker.
其實你就是個傻子
Thank you for being honest.
謝謝你實話實說
Now allow me to be honest. It's over.
現在到我實話實說了，結束了
What is?
什么結束了
Everything... our friendship, the business, book club,
所有一切，我們的友誼，生意，讀書會
the sandwich punch card we share... done-zo.
還有我們共用的三明治集點卡，都結束了
Oh my god.
天啊
Dmx
Dmx!
Dark Man X!
黑暗人X
You look older in person.
你真人看起來更老一點
Fatherhood ages you.
當爸爸會讓你衰老
I'm tired.
我累壞了
Emotional.
感情倦怠
Crying. Yelling!
我心在哭泣，在吶喊
All at the same cotton commercial.
都是那些重復的棉花廣告害的
It's the fabric of our lives, G.
這是組成生命的纖維
Man, I can't wait to tell all my friends!
天啊，我等不及告訴我朋友了
Sorry, little man.
對不起，小伙子
I can't have you blowing up my spot.
我不能讓你把這事搞大
I'm gonna need you to sign and initial
我需要你簽訂這個
this nondisclosure agreement.
保密協議
It's the same one Oprah used on Stedman.
和奧普拉給斯特德曼那個一樣
So... I can't tell anyone I'm working for you?
我不能告訴其他人，我在這里工作嗎
Nope. Oh.
不能，噢
So, what do you want me to do?
想讓我做什么
Babyproof the living room,
檢查一遍客廳，確保寶寶不會受傷
blend some peas for Genesis,
給吉納瑟思拌些豆子吃
and make sure to put lavender drops in her cloth diapers.
還要在她尿布上滴些薰衣草液
Why don't you just use disposable diapers?
為什么不用一次性的尿布啊
'Cause I ain't trying to leave some big-ass carbon footprint.
因為我要減少碳排放
I hope the couch is gonna be okay.
你睡那個沙發可以吧
Aw, are you kidding me, man?
你在逗我嗎，兄弟
We shared a twin futon when we roomed up in Jersey.
咱倆在新澤西住一屋的時候，睡的還是雙人床墊呢
Remember that? Trying to put a new vitamin out there.
你記得嗎，咱倆一起研究新型維他命
Testing it on ourselves.
還在我們自己身上做實驗
R-remember how you grew that lustrous arm hair?
還記得你的手變得光澤發亮嗎
It kept getting caught on my watch.
毛發總卡在表帶里
That's right.
沒錯
Uh-oh!
噢噢
Eddie, how you doing?!
埃迪，你好
I'm Emery. It's Uncle Barry.
俺是埃默里，我是你的巴里叔叔
I've never seen you before.
我以前總沒見過你
I wasn't born when you were my dad's friend.
你跟我老爹在一起玩時我還沒出生
You're raising kings, Louis.
你的孩子都不錯，路易斯
You're raising kings.
真是不錯的孩子
Uh-oh!
哇喔
Lady J!
杰西卡小姐
We're not giving you any money, Barry.
我們不會給你錢的，巴里
Well, your hands look soft and young, girl.
姑娘，你的手真是柔軟細嫩啊
She's kidding.
她在開玩笑
She knows you're not here to ask for money.
她知道你不是來要錢的
Right? Aw, come on.
對嗎，拜托
Barry's ballin' now.
巴里現在可厲害了
I sell new and used goods
我現在在全世界賣貨
at a flexible price for people worldwide.
價格靈活的新貨二手貨都賣
Good for you.
真不賴啊
You know what? Only in town for a few days.
我只是到這兒來呆上幾天
Then I'll be out of your hair in no time.
然后我就會消失了
But as a token of my appreciation...
但是為了聊表謝意
You ready?
你準備好了
It's a wooden elephant from Bhutan.
這是不丹的木象
Barry, you shouldn't have.
巴里，你不用送我禮物的
Babar was based on him.
它的原型是大象巴巴
Babar was a French elephant who went on adventures.
巴巴是一只冒險的法國象
He we... he went to jail, went to Hawaii.
然后他去了監獄，然后又去了夏威夷
All those places.
好多好多地方
Wow.
哇
What are you doing?
你在干什么
I cut Honey off. It's over.
我跟哈妮斷交了，結束了
But she's your friend.
但她是你的朋友
You know how I get when somebody crosses the line.
有些人太過分了，你知道我會怎么做
I can't forgive them.
我不能原諒她們
I know. I'm reminded every day.
我知道，我每天都能記起
You probably don't even remember why you cut these people off.
說不定你都不記得為何跟她們斷交的
That one went off-registry.
那個人送的結婚禮物沒有在清單里
That one tried to upstage me with her hairdo.
這個用她的發型跟我搶鏡頭
And that one married a man wealthier than you.
那人的老公比你有錢
Why do you even still have this photo?
那你為什么還留著這些照片
Because I look amazing.
因為我在上面很美
You know, if you keep cutting people off,
如果你一直跟朋友斷交
you're not gonna have any friends.
最后你就沒有朋友了
Well, I would rather have no friends than too many.
那我寧缺勿濫
You could stand to cut a few people off.
你倒是可以跟某些朋友斷交
One in particular.
特別是那個誰
Jessica.
杰西卡
You haven't seen Barry in years.
你好多年沒看到巴里了
He's an idiot, and you guys shared a room in New Jersey
他是個蠢貨，你們一起在新澤西
for barely two months.
只不過住了兩個月
Those were a crazy two months, though.
那兩個月很瘋狂
We invented a vitamin and played tons of basketball.
我們研發了一種新維他命，還天天打籃球
Hi, Honey.
嘿，哈妮
My mom asked me to return the things you left at our house.
我媽讓我把你留在我們家的東西還給你
Do you believe this, Evan?
你能相信嗎，埃文
Your mom's cutting me out of her life like I'm nothing to her.
你媽跟我斷交了，好像我對她來說什么也不是
I was told not to engage with you.
她不許我跟你多說
Okay.
好吧
Fine.
好吧
I'll just give her back her things.
我也會把她的東西還給她
You won't find anything.
你什么也找不到的
Chinese people take care of their possessions.
中國人不會把自己的東西亂放
Be good to yourself, Honey.
照顧好你自己，哈妮
I always liked you.
我一直很喜歡你
How did she look?
她看起來怎么樣
Did she look sad?
很沮喪嗎
Actually, she looked great. She jogs a lot.
實際上她看起來好極了，她經常慢跑
Well, was anybody else there?
還有人在她家了嗎
Deidre? Carol-Joan?
黛德麗，卡羅爾瓊
Was she having book club?
她去讀書會了嗎
I don't understand.
我不明白
I thought she was your best friend.
我以為她是你最好的朋友
There is no such thing as a best friend.
世上不存在最好的朋友
That's just something Hello Kitty made up
不過是Hello Kitty為了賣更多的Hello Kitty
to sell more Hello Kitty.
編出來的童話罷了
Hey. Where you been?
嗨，你去哪了
I haven't seen you in forever.
我好久沒看到你了
Oh, my God. You won't believe what Becca G. Just ate.
天吶，你不會相信貝卡剛剛吃了什么
We're in the cafeteria...
我們在食堂
Babe, I just got to my locker.
寶貝，我才打開我的儲物柜
Can I please just have two minutes to unwind?
我能放松兩分鐘嗎
Yeah, of course.
當然可以
You seem tired.
你看起來很累
Are you not getting enough sleep or eating enough protein?
你是不是失眠，還是沒吃多少蛋白質
I just want to put away my math book,
我就是想把我的數學書放回去
clean out the cheez-its from my bag,
把包里的餅干清清
and say "What's up" To fat Joe.
再對肥仔喬打個招呼
You're cranky.
你好暴躁
I'm working a lot, okay?
我上班太累了，好嗎
I'm working... A bunch.
太多事了
I didn't know that. Where are you working?
我不知道，你在哪里上班
I can't tell you. Why not?
不能告訴你，為什么
Well, mom, I can't tell you.
老媽，我不能告訴你
You know what?
你知道嗎
I don't like you like this.
我不喜歡你這樣
And for your information, she ate a spider.
還有告訴你，她吃了一只蜘蛛
Who did?
誰
Becca G.!
貝卡
Rebecca!
瑞貝卡
Gonzalez!
貢扎勒茲
And she said, "There are no nuns here by that name."
她說“這兒的修女沒有叫這個的”
Wait, she was "Sister Act"-ing you?
等等，她說的是《修女也瘋狂》里的臺詞
Oh, see, you get me, Louis.
看，路易斯，你拆穿我了
I do. Which brings me to this.
沒錯，所以我想說的是
Remember that idea I had about
記得我有個主意嗎
selling new and used goods at a flexible price?
以靈活的價格出售新貨和二手貨
Yes.
沒錯
Well, I'm trying to find investors.
恩，我在找新的投資者
Which is why I'm in town.
這就是為什么我來這里
And I figure, why not bring my boy Louis in
我就想到，干嘛不邀請老伙計路易斯呢
on the ground floor?
我們從頭一起干
Barry, I thought you weren't going to
巴里，我以為你這次是來找我
ask me for money this time.
不是為了要錢
Louis, I'm not asking you for money.
路易斯，我不是找你要錢
I'm asking you to invest in a business.
我在邀請你投資生意
A viable business.
非常有前景的生意
Barry, we're sitting in a business I'm invested in.
巴里，我們現在就坐在我投資的生意里
This is your place? Yes!
這地方是你的，沒錯
Oh, in that case, I'll have the tomahawk chop, medium rare,
那樣的話，我要戰斧牛排，四分熟
grill lines on both sides, please.
兩面都要煎
Who are you talking to?
你在跟誰說話
Whoever's in charge of the chops.
負責做牛排的人
Okay, so is this used goods thing a legitimate business?
好吧，那賣二手貨是合法生意嗎
How many other investors are there?
還有幾個投資人
Well, no one has committed per se,
本來沒有其他人了
but there are some interested parties.
但有幾個人很感興趣
Um, there's a frenchman in New Delhi.
比如新德里有個法國人
That's it?
就這樣嗎
Yeah.
是啊
You and a frenchman in New Delhi.
只有你還有新德里的法國人
And, surprise, Louis calls and Barry's flight is delayed.
驚訝吧，路易斯打電話說巴里的航班延期了
I don't understand why he lets this guy take advantage of him.
我不明白為何他讓這個人占便宜
Um, can we go to our room?
額，我們能回房間嗎
We're halfway through a lite-brite clown.
我們在用Lite-Brite做小丑
Unless... You want to join us?
你想跟我們一起做嗎
No, no, you go ahead.
不，不，你們去吧
Just watching "Wheel" By yourself, huh?
你在一個人看《幸運大轉輪》嗎
You know, even back in D.C.,
就算是以前在華盛頓
I never saw you with any friends.
我也從沒見過你的朋友
Where are all your friends?
你的朋友們都在哪兒呢
Why?
為什么
Are you lonely?
你不孤單嗎
Yes, you do.
是的
So, you were saying?
你之前說的什么
Excuse me?
你說什么
Earlier, you were saying something about
你之前不是說過的嘛
a cabbage-soup diet?
白菜湯節食餐
Are... are you seriously trying to act like
你剛和我要絕交
you didn't just end our friendship?
然后又裝作什么也沒發生嗎
I decided to forgive you.
我決定原諒你了
Well, I don't forgive you.
但我不原諒你
You were dismissive of all of my ideas.
你對我的想法不屑一顧
You dropped me without a second thought.
你想都沒想就拋棄了我
You sent your son to return my things.
你讓你的兒子來歸還我的東西
And... and... and one thing's not even mine!
而且有一件東西還不是我的
What is this?
這是什么
I-is this some sort of warning?
這算是一種警告嗎
Okay, fine.
好吧
We can do your mini quiches and bacon.
我們可以買你說的小乳蛋餅和培根
But no team-trust-falls workshop.
但不要參加團隊信任研討會
If I fall on somebody, I want them to die.
如果有人騙我，我要他們死翹翹
Jessica, I am tired of you not treating me like an equal.
杰西卡，我受夠了你對我的不公平對待
I can flip houses on my own.
我可以自己賣房子
You were right.
你說得對
We're done-zo.
我們絕交了
It's okay.
沒事的
Can you organize these booties, please?
你可以把這些戰利品整理好嗎
What's with the frown, B.?
怎么皺起眉頭來了
You know I can't have that negative energy around Genesis.
我不許吉納瑟思周圍有這種負能量
Girl trouble.
女生的問題
Extrapolate.
說來聽聽
Her birthday's on Saturday,
她這周六過生日
and that's the only reason why I took this job...
這就是我出來打工的原因
So I can get her this.
這樣我就能給她買這個
Yo! Is that one of those necklaces that sing?
喲，這不是那條會唱歌的項鏈嗎
Why's everybody got to talk about what the necklace don't do?!
為什么大家都要說項鏈做不到的事情
Anyway, she might not even be my girlfriend anymore.
不管怎么說，她可能不再是我的女朋友了
I'm working so much, I don't see her.
我工作太忙了，我沒有時間陪她
And when I do, I'm too tired.
當我有時間的時候，我又太累了
And I can't tell her why because of your Oprah muzzle.
我沒辦法向她解釋，因為簽了保密協議
I know what you need... To chill.
我知道你需要放松
Let's take a trip out to my greenhouse.
我們一起逛逛花房吧
Welcome to my horticultural wonderland
歡迎來到我的園藝天地
of rare and exotic orchids.
這些都是稀有的外地蘭花
Do you smoke them?
你吸食它們嗎
What?!
什么
No, I love 'em.
不，我愛它們
This is Beatrice.
這是碧翠斯
This is Citadelle. And this is Denise.
這是西塔德爾，這是丹妮斯
O-kay?
好吧
When I first started growing orchids,
我一開始養蘭花的時候
I thought they needed the most expensive soil and lights
我以為它們需要最昂貴的土壤和光照
to blossom.
才會開花
And they died.
結果它們都死了
That's when I realized that all they really needed
那時候我意識到它們真正需要的
was time and attention.
是時間和關照
You don't need to get your girl a gift.
你不需要給你的女朋友買禮物
You need to give her your time.
你需要花時間陪她
Are any of these flowers boys, or are they all girls?
這些花都是男孩兒還是女孩兒
Girls?
女孩兒
These are women.
她們是女人
Turn the lights off!
把燈關上
Are you hiding?
你在躲人嗎
Yes, from Barry.
是的，躲巴里
He asked me for money. You were right about him.
他向我要錢，你說對了
Well, I was wrong about Honey.
但我誤會了哈妮
Let me guess... she didn't accept your forgiveness?
讓我猜猜，她沒有接受你的原諒
No, she didn't.
沒有
I walked in there, I acted like nothing happened,
我走進去，我裝作什么也沒發生
and I forgave her, and she didn't accept it.
我說我原諒她了，但她不接受
Did you say you were sorry?
你有說對不起嗎
You know I didn't.
你知道我沒有
Well, apologize to her.
那就向她道歉嘛
Well, what would I even say?
那我要說什么
Uh, "I'm sorry"?
說對不起
Look, I know you care about her.
我知道你關心她
You just need to show her your friendship matters.
你只是需要讓她知道你們的友誼很重要
Well, you need to show Barry his friendship doesn't.
你需要讓巴里知道他的友情不重要
I'm gonna cut him off.
我要和他絕交
I'm just thinking about how to do it.
我正在思考怎么辦
Just rip off the band-aid.
直接把創可貼撕掉嘛
You know I don't like to rip off band-aids.
你知道我不喜歡直接撕下來
I like to wet them for a few days
我喜歡把它潤濕幾天
and hopefully they just come off in the shower.
希望哪天洗澡的時候就掉下來了
Get out. Come on.
快出來啊
L-train!
我的路易斯
I'm gonna need you to go on a Mayo run.
我正要你去買點蛋黃醬
Barry, there's not gonna be a Mayo run.
巴里，不要提買什么蛋黃醬了
I'm not giving you any money for your business,
我不會給你的生意送錢了
and you need to find somewhere else to stay.
你找別的地方住吧
How you gonna do me like that?
你怎么這么對我
We're friends, Louis!
我們是朋友啊，路易斯
Are we? What's my last name?
是嗎，我姓什么
Train?
特雷恩嗎
Barry, I'm cutting you off.
巴里，我要和你絕交
You're gonna miss out on an amazing business opportunity.
你會錯過一個巨大的商機
I don't think I'm gonna lose sleep over your garagesale.Com.
我不會為你的舊貨買賣網站而失眠的
For your information, it's called Ebay.
你聽好了，那叫易趣網
Dumb name!
好蠢的名字
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
Is that DMX?
那是Dmx嗎
I've been arranging "Ghetto Life" For the piccolo.
我一直在用短笛編排《貧民窟生活》的曲子
I actually wrote "Ghetto Life" On the piccolo.
這首歌其實就是用短笛吹出來的
You hear that, Genesis?
你聽到了嗎，吉納瑟思
Anything is possible.
一切皆有可能
I'm gonna need you to walk soon, sweetie.
我希望你不久就可以走路了，寶貝
Happy Birthday.
生日快樂
I'm sorry I've been such a jerk lately.
很抱歉我最近一直像個混蛋
I've been trying to get you some stupid expensive necklace,
我一直想給你買一副又貴又蠢的項鏈
but DMX helped me realize it's not about presents,
但是Dmx讓我意識到禮物不重要
it's about presence.
陪伴最重要
Oh, I'd rather have a necklace.
我更想要項鏈
Psych!
別激動
DMX drove his el-do to my house!
Dmx把他的凱迪拉克開到我家門前
This is the best birthday gift I've ever gotten!
這已經是我收到過最好的禮物了
Take care of Tomiko.
照顧好都美子
And be sure to use fertilizer without urea.
一定不要用含尿素的肥料
And that's how bagel Mondays can turn into productive Tuesdays.
這樣你就把百吉餅星期一轉化為具有生產力的星期二
Okay, we're gonna shift gears a little bit
我們現在換種方式
and have some fun with some role-play improv exercises.
玩一玩即性角色扮演練習
We call this jobprov,
我們稱之為即興工作
because success doesn't come with a script.
因為成功不會自帶劇本
Okay, I need two volunteers to help us get started.
我需要兩名志愿者才能開始
Yes, blonde lady in the front.
好的，坐在前排的金發女士
And...
還有
Oh, she's married, you perverts.
她已經結婚了，你們這群變態
I volunteer.
我來
Great.
好
So, in this scene,
那么在這一幕里
you are a customer returning a walkman
你是想來退隨身聽的顧客
to a manager at circuit city.
你是電路城的經理
And... Jobprov!
即興工作開始
What are you doing here?
你來這兒做什么
Showing you your friendship matters.
告訴你我們的友情很重要
But you hate this stuff.
但是你討厭來研討會
You think it's a waste of money.
你覺得這是浪費錢
I do.
是的
But you don't.
但你不覺得
And we're partners.
我們是伙伴
I'm sorry, Honey.
哈妮，對不起
I'm sorry, too.
我也對不起你
I miss you.
我好想你
Hello Kitty was right.
Hello Kitty是對的
There is such a thing as a best friend.
世上有最好的朋友
Hello Kitty.
我是Hello Kitty
Frog best friend Keroppi.
你是大眼青蛙Keroppi
And... Scene.
即興工作結束
Okay. That was terrible.
這太糟糕了吧
Really just the worst.
這是最糟糕的表演了
There was no walkman.
沒有出現隨身聽
Even if there was, I don't know why she's returning it.
即使出現了，我也不知道她為什么要退貨
Apparently there are no doors at this circuit city,
很明顯的是電路城沒有大門
if that's even where we were, because nobody mentioned it.
盡管我們就在電路城，因為你們一個人都沒有提到它
And from an H.R. Standpoint,
從一個人力資源經理看來
a long interracial same-sex hug?
一個跨種族同性的漫長擁抱嗎
Now, this is exactly why Arby's is a shadow of its former self.
這就是為什么Arby's一如既往的糟糕
I
我
Once Jerry finishes installing the water heater,
只要杰瑞裝完熱水器
we will be all set for the open house.
我們就能出售這棟房子了
Thank you for going back to the original list date.
謝謝你把日期調了回來
No, you were right.
不，你說得對
It would have been silly to wait three months.
再等三個月實在是很蠢
Madame Xing doesn't know everything.
邢女士什么都不懂
Okay, so, good news... Water heater fit perfectly.
好消息是熱水器裝好了
Bad news... you guys have black mold all through your attic.
壞消息是你們閣樓上全是黑霉
Black mold? Oh, yeah.
黑霉，恩
And it is a serious health hazard.
對健康危險很大
I don't even want to be standing here, breathing this air.
我都不想站在這里呼吸空氣
Like, I need to get out.
我要出去了
Okay, but it is absolutely illegal
你們除掉黑霉之前
for you to sell this house until you have it removed.
售賣這棟屋子絕對是違法的
But how long will that take?
除掉黑霉要多久啊
About three months.
大概三個月
No way.
不可能吧
We just got Xing'd.
邢女士說中了
