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打印
1995 has been a big year for the Huang family.
1995年，對黃家來說是不平凡的一年
We moved from D.C. To Orlando
我們從華盛頓搬去奧蘭多
because of my dad wanted to open his own restaurant.
因為我老爸想開一間他自己的餐廳
Eat up, my babies.
放開吃吧，寶貝們
...but my brother Eddie wasn't happy.
但我哥哥艾迪不開心
'lot of white folks here.'
這里全是白人
My brother Emery
但另一個哥哥埃默里卻混的
made friends easily, though.
如魚得水
'I love love.'
愛情萬歲
And guess who became a real-estate agent.
猜猜誰成為了地產經紀人
'your mommy, that's who.
你老媽我
Boom!'
砰
Anyway, have a good summer, Curtis.
不管怎樣，暑假快樂
Your friend, Evan Huang."
你的盆友，埃文·黃
And who do I make this out to?
這個該寫誰呢
I can't believe you're graduating.
真想不到你都快畢業了
So stoked
超級期待
For high school, to spend the summer with my mom.
我的高中生活，暑假跟老媽在一起
She deejays at the Radisson.
她在雷迪森酒店當DJ
Oh. Good for her.
噢，不錯
Good luck surviving the 7th grade next year.
祝賀大家成功熬過七年級
See you around the neighborhood.
回見
Oh! What if you got a tattoo?
噢，你要是紋身了怎么辦呢
No good
那可不好
I might want to be Jewish someday.
說不定哪天我皈依猶太教了
What are you guys talking about?
大伙在說什么吶
Summer vacation.
暑假
We have to come back next year wearing fresh gear
下學年可得穿戴一新啊
or with an awesome story.
或者有牛可吹
Or we'll be stuck eating lunch with the janitor all year.
不然午飯時就只有跟看門人坐在一起了
Did you know he's writing a musical about new jersey?
你們知道他在寫部關于新澤西的音樂劇嗎
'cause you will.
你們總會知道的
Better have proof to back up your story,
吹牛得有根據
or you'll wind up like "Fake" Kate Anderson.
不然你會跟說假話的凱特安德森一個下場
And we walked into Dollywood, and I saw dolly's house.
我們去了多萊塢，我看見了多莉之家
Liar! Where are your souvenirs?
大話精，紀念品呢
She eventually went to Dollywood over Christmas break,
她最終在圣誕節去了多萊塢
But it was too late.
但為時已晚
Yo, I know this already. I'm set.
我早知道這回事了，我想好了
Is your family going on vacation?
你一家人一起去度假嗎
Ohh, that's funny.
哦，你真逗
I used the money I made working weekends
我用之前在我爹餐館
at my dad's restaurant to buy something awesome.
掙的錢買了點寶貝
Let's just say I'm pumped for the fall.
這么說吧，我已經準備好在秋季學期大展身手了
yeah new '95 Reebok pumps.
最新95銳步氣囊鞋
Check it.
瞅瞅
Magic. Science.
神奇啊，科學
I'mma show up on the first day of 7th grade
七年級第一天我就要秀一秀
Fresh as hell.
全新出場
So, what are you gonna do all summer?
整個暑假你打算干嘛
You are looking at it.
躺在沙發上
We interrupt this music video with breaking news.
MTV暫停一下我們要插播一條爆炸新聞
John Stockton has been seen wearing Reebok pumps.
約翰·斯托克頓被發現腳穿最新銳步氣囊鞋
I repeat, John Stockton has been seen wearing Reebok pumps.
我重復一下約翰·斯托克頓被發現腳穿最新銳步氣囊鞋
Come on, son!
加把勁，小子
Better give those to your dad or your white neighbor,
最好把鞋送給你老爹或者你的白人鄰居
'cause they over.
因為這鞋已經過氣了
Happy labor day, hunter.
勞動節快樂，小子
You don't need so many suits.
你用不著這么多西裝
The convention is only two days.
會議只有兩天
All the franchise power players are gonna be there.
所有的經營商大人物都會去的
I need to make a good impression.
我得閃亮登場
"Which one's Louis Huang?
誰是路易斯·黃
Oh, he's the steakhouse owner in the sharkskin suit."
噢，他就是那個穿著鯊魚皮西裝的牛排店主
Or "He's the Chinese guy."
或者那個“中國佬”
In the sharkskin suit.
“穿著鯊魚皮西裝”
Mommy, guess what.
媽咪，猜猜怎么著
My last baby tooth is loose.
我最后一顆乳牙松了
Oh, looks like it's time for another visit
哦看來牙仙又要
From the tooth fairy.
來找你了
Evan, clean your room. The tooth fairy.
埃文，打掃打掃房間吧，牙仙
I look forward to the fairy's constructive criticism.
我期待著牙仙的建設性意見
Mom, when can we go back-to-school shopping?
媽咪，什么時候能去為上學買點東西啊
Right now!
現在
Emery, here's Eddie's old clothes.
埃默里，這兒有些埃迪的舊衣服
Evan, here's Emery's.
埃文，這兒是埃默里的
I've got some good stuff in there.
我有些好東西
You're gonna love it.
你會喜歡的
What are these?
神馬玩意兒
No more Velcro. You're old enough for laces now.
不再穿魔術貼了，你們長這么大可以系鞋帶了
No more Velcro, your last baby tooth
不再穿魔術貼了，你的最后一顆乳牙都
Congratulations. You're in the big-kid club.
祝賀你，你是大孩子了
But I'm the baby. "Baby Evan"?
但我還是寶寶呢，埃文寶寶
It's my brand.
這是我的招牌
Mom, I'm begging you—I need new school gear.
媽咪，求求你了，我需要返校新裝備
It starts in a week, and I have nothing!
只有一周了，我還啥都沒有呢
I already bought you new T-shirts for school,
我已經給你買了新T恤了
The kind you like—with black men on them.
你喜歡的那種，有黑人在上面的
These guys aren't rappers!
這些黑人不是說唱歌手
They were the gangsters of the sales bin.
打折的只有這個
Jessica, I can't find my suspenders.
杰西卡，我的背帶找不到了
In the closet!
在柜子里
Ready for book club?
準備好去讀書俱樂部了嗎
White wine and "Misery"!
酒和書
It's Chablis. Don't be pissed.
那是夏布利酒，別生氣
Thank you. Okay.
謝謝，好吧
I haven't even started it.
我都還沒開始呢
With work and the house
工作還有家里的事
And then the kids being home all summer, I just—
孩子們整個暑假都在家里，我
You know, you should really think about getting away.
你知道，你應該想想自己清凈清凈了
I can't just leave them, honey.
你知道我不能離開他們，親
Although, I have thought about it—
雖然，我也想過
Just packing a bag and just getting out of here.
帶個小包包就離開
There's this town in south Texas.
在得克薩斯南邊有個小鎮
I would paint portraits, get a st. Bernard,
我可以去那畫畫，弄條圣伯納犬
Rebuild a muscle car.
改裝一輛美國肌肉車
N-no. I didn't mean you should abandon your family.
不，我沒叫你拋夫棄子
I meant you should just consider taking them
我的意思是可以帶他們一起度個假
On a little vacation.
一起度個假
Vacation.
度假
You're funny.
你真搞笑
Louis and I don't believe in vacations.
路易斯和我不是度假的人
Hey, boss, do we get vacation days?
嘿，老板，我們有假期嗎
Your job is a vacation—from poverty.
你有工作的每一天都是假期，不會窮死節
I still can't find my suspenders!
我還是找不到我的背帶
Suspender
背帶
Working-man accessory.
中產階級必備
Holds up the business.
商業人士形象
Louis, your suspenders are right here,
路易斯，你的背帶就在這兒
Next to your—
靠著你的
So, big business trip, huh?
出差嗎
National franchise convention—
全國特許經營商大會
Biggest in central Florida.
弗羅里達中部最大的會議
They say that's where the burger man
據說漢堡大叔就是在那
Became the burger king.
成為漢堡王的
Okay, so, if this is a business trip,
好吧，如果是出差
Why did you pack your swimsuit?
為什么帶泳褲
There's a pool at the hotel,
酒店有個泳池
And a lot of meetings happen there.
很多會就在酒店開
To put under my back.
用來放松背部
I'll be on my feet all day long at seminars.
整天會議都得站著呢
And it's being held at gator world?
全部都在鱷魚世界開
Gator world, the home of the scariest ride
在弗羅里達那個鱷魚世界嗎
In Florida, "The death roll"?!
狂野人士之家，死亡過山車
jumpin', bumpin', thrivin' gators
跳吧，跳吧，鱷魚們
rides and shows and alligators
鱷魚表演好好看
grab the family, come on down
帶上家人一起來吧
you better swim, or you might drown
使勁游呀游，小心沉下去
This is gonna save my entire 7th grade year!
這個能拯救我的七年級
Can we please, please, please go on vacation to gator world?
我們能不能能不能能不能，去鱷魚世界度假
I thought we didn't believe in vacations, Louis?
我記得我們不度假的，路易斯
This isn't a vacation. It's a business trip.
沒有假期，是出差，公干
The conference is at the hotel next to gator world.
會議在緊鄰鱷魚世界的一個酒店開
It has nothing to do with the park itself.
跟公園本身沒啥關系
Okay, fine.
好吧
If this is a business trip,
如果是出差
Then you won't mind if we come with you.
那你不會介意我跟著吧
Yeah, if you want.
當然如果你想的話
But I'll be in back-to-back seminars all day.
但我整天都是連軸轉的會
Oh, we can entertain ourselves.
別擔心，我們會自娛自樂
Everybody, pack your bags.
大家伙，整理行裝
We're going on a family business trip.
我們集體家庭出差
Yeah!
耶
Yeah.
耶
"The death roll"? Sounds like a violent ride.
死亡過山車，聽上去很殘暴
That's the point, son.
這就是重點啊，小子
If you live,
如果你活下來了
You get an "I survived 'the death roll'" T-shirt.
你就會得到一件印著“我戰勝了死亡過山車”的T恤
That's my key to flossin' through 7th grade.
這不就是我完美度過七年級的關鍵嗎
Oh, how sweet. Some of my friends have come to say bye to me.
噢，多好啊，我的朋友來和我道別了
I'll write you every day.
我會每天給你寫信的
Off I-4, gator world, come and soar
鱷魚世界，自由翱翔
chomp, chomp, gator world
嚼呀，嚼呀，鱷魚世界
These guys aren't with the convention.
這些家伙不是一起來開會的
Must be college kids.
肯定是大學生
Franchisees in the house!
特許經營人都到齊啦
Welcome to gator world hotel and resort.
歡迎來到鱷魚酒店度假勝地
I'm gator Carol. How can I help you today?
我是鱷魚卡羅爾，有什么能幫您的嗎
Hi. Reservation for Louis Huang.
嗨，有一個路易斯·黃的預訂
And how many people will be staying in the room?
請問您是幾個人住這間房呢
How many people are allowed to stay in the room
請問在不用被征收額外費用的條件下
Before we incur an additional charge?
最多可以住多少人呢
Two adults and two children.
兩個大人和兩個小孩
That's how many will be staying in the room.
我們就是這么多人
These two are just visitors—family in the area.
這兩個是游客，家人都在這邊
We're just catching up.
我們只是剛好聊聊天
Mm.
嗯
Well, if you're staying with the conference,
好吧，如果你們是前來開會的
Then you can upgrade to the executive suite
你們可以把房間升級到行政套房
For just $20 more.
只需要加二十美金
I bet we can. No, thank you.
我知道，但是我們不想，謝謝
See, that's how they get you—all these additional fees.
看，他們就是這樣宰你的，一堆額外收費
Okay, Mr. Huang.
好吧，黃先生
I see you've booked a spa massage
我看到你預訂了一個水療服務
And a dinner reservation at Csonka's steakhouse?
和一頓瓊卡牛排餐廳的晚餐
N-no, that's a mistake.
不，不，你肯定搞錯了
Okay.
好吧
It shows here that you called ahead
但是記錄顯示您之前打過電話
To request the end cut of the prime rib?
預訂了一份頂級牛肋排的尾部
Mm...nope, must be someone else.
嗯，從沒有過，肯定是別人訂的
You faxed over a copy of your credit card
您還把您的信用卡和駕照復印件
And your driver's license to hold the reservation.
傳真過來保留預訂
Data breach.
數據漏洞
Clear identity theft.
肯定是信息泄露了
Gator Ramone can take your bags. Okay.
鱷魚拉莫內會幫您把包提上去，好嗎
Oh, I know what you want.
噢，我知道你就是想這樣
Dollar-dollar bag, right? No, thank you.
提包小費，對吧，不用了，謝謝
We are fine.
我們自己來
Mommy, bao-bao.
媽咪，抱，抱
Pick you up? You can walk.
抱你，你自己能走的
Bao-bao.
抱抱
We are gonna get our money's worth.
我們要讓每一分錢都花得物超所值
hey, little suckers, I know you hear me callin'
嘿，小傻瓜，我知道你聽到了我的電話
on the hood of your wick-wack low-ridin' cadillac
在你那弱爆了低底盤凱迪拉克上
act like, you know and we are not gonna be suckers.
就像是，你知道的我們絕不能吃虧
the masta ace don't play when it comes to my bass
魯班也不敢在我面前弄斧
aahhhh, check it out, baby, check it out, y'all
啊啊啊，快來聽，寶貝，快來聽，快來聽
check it out, baby, check it out, y'all
快來聽，寶貝，快來聽，快來聽
check it out, baby
快來聽，寶貝
I was born to roll
我生來就是這么屌
Mom, can we go to gator world now?
媽媽，我們現在可以去鱷魚世界了嗎
Later. We have to go to the pool first.
晚點去，我們要先去游泳池
Oh, I guess you won't be able to come, Louis,
噢，我猜你不能來了，路易斯
Because you'll be too busy with business.
因為你的工作太忙了
That's right. Lots of business.
沒錯，工作太忙了
Do you want me to call the DMV for you,
還是說你想我幫你打給車管局
The credit-card company—
信用卡公司
You know, about your identity theft?
你知道的，你的信息不是泄露了嗎
Um, yeah. That'll be great.
嗯，好啊，那就多謝你了
As long as you don't mind paying for local calls.
只要你不介意回到家后要交本地電話費
When we get home, then.
那就等回家再打
Hm, okay.
嗯，好的
Hi. I'm gator Octavio. Towel?
嘿，我是鱷魚奧克塔維奧，要毛巾嗎
Oh, so you can charge us a towel-rental fee?
噢，所以你就能收我們毛巾費是嗎
No, thank you.
不需要了，謝謝
We will be using god's towel—the sun.
我們可以用上帝賜予的毛巾，陽光
Go.
你走吧
Thousand-year-old black egg with tofu
皮蛋拌豆腐
And grass jelly drink.
以及仙草凍飲料
Wait 20 minutes to go in the pool.
等二十分鐘再去游泳池
Mom, when can we go to gator world?
媽媽，我們什么時候可以去鱷魚世界啊
I said, "Later."
我說過了，待會
Um, if you're gonna bring outside food here,
嗯，如果你們要外帶食物進來
I have to charge you.
我就要多收費哦
Now—we can go now.
我們現在就走
Chomp, chomp, gator world.
嚼啊，嚼啊，鱷魚世界
Hey, help here, please.
嘿，麻煩幫幫這里
Tickets.
出示門票
We're staying in the hotel.
我們是酒店住客
Hotel is separate.
酒店和我們是分開的
You got to buy tickets to get into the park.
要進公園就要買票
Except for our handi-capable friends—
除了我們身殘志堅的朋友
You can come on in for free.
你可以免門票
Fine. How much are tickets?
好吧，門票多少錢
$55 for adults. $45 for kids.
大人55美元，小朋友45美元
$2 off if you bring your own cat to feed to the gators.
如果你帶自家貓來喂鱷魚，有兩美元優惠
That's ridiculous.
太可笑了
What kind of sucker would pay those inflated prices?
傻子才會付這么多錢呢
I'll have an order of the $20 hot wings
我要一份二十美元的香辣雞翅
And another round of bud lights.
再上多一輪淡啤
For a few dollars more,
再加多幾元錢的話
You can upgrade to the collector cups.
你就能加大杯喲
Mm...
嗯
Do it.
就這么辦
Kids 5 and under get in free.
五歲以下的孩子免費
They're all 5 and under.
他們都不到五歲
These two are 5 and under.
這兩個不到五歲
This one is 5 and under.
這個孩子不到五歲
Nice try, kid.
精神可嘉，孩子
But you're wearing sneakers with laces.
可是你穿的是系帶的運動鞋
Good eye, gator Dan.
你眼神真好，鱷魚丹
Can't get anything past this guy.
什么東西都繞不過你對吧
But, mom, I need to go on that ride!
但是媽媽，我想去坐過山車
Okay, calm down. We'll go on a ride.
好，淡定，我們這就去坐
Parking lot "C."
C停車場
Parking lot "Crocodile."
鱷魚停車場
Parking lot "C."
C停車場
This is just as fun as any ride in there.
這跟坐那里面的過山車一樣有意思
Aah!
啊
Whoo!
哇哦
And then I said, "Hey, I don't need
然后我說，嘿，我并不需要
Your tax advice, Scottie Pippen."
你的納稅建議，斯科蒂·皮蓬
What are you doing here?!
你們在這干什么呢
Melanie! Jessica! Louise?!
梅蘭妮，杰西卡，路易斯
Rebecca! Janice! Gloria!
貝利卡，珍妮絲，格洛麗亞
I thought you were supposed to be at the convention center.
我以為你應該會在會議中心
Oh, heh, well, uh, some of the guys here, they—
哦是啊，嗯，我的幾個朋友來了，他們
You are ruining my vacation!
你毀了我的假期
I knew this was a vacation! I knew it!
我就知道你是在度假，我就知道
Well, you got me, Jessica. You win.
好吧，你逮著我了，杰西卡，你贏了
For two days a year, I drink bud lights,
一年里只有這兩天，我能喝點酒
Play tennis, and eat hot wings.
打打網球，吃點雞翅
Moving to the white suburbs has made you soft.
我們搬到白人區以后你變得越來越不務正業了
Woman, I've been soft!
我一直都不務正業
I've been taking business trips for years,
我已經去過很多次商務旅行了
Ever since I worked at Steve's furniture store in D.C.—
自從我在華盛頓史蒂夫的家具店工作開始
The mattress expo in Philly, the credenza-con in Delaware.
費城的床墊博覽會，特拉華州的書櫥展覽
The upholstery seminars in Montreal?
蒙特利爾的家具研討會
Oui.
是的
Boys, your mother and I need to talk. Go to your rooms.
兒子們，我要和你們媽媽談談，回房間去
I didn't tell you because I know...
我沒告訴你這事是因為我知道
...you think vacations are a waste of time.
你覺得度假就是浪費生命
Well, I thought you thought that, too!
對，我以為你也是這么想的
Well, I need this.
我需要放假
A couple days away recharges me.
放假的時候我能給自己充充電
It's how I stay so positive.
這就是我能一直這么有活力的原因
Oh, so, you think I don't need a break, too?
你覺得我并不需要休息嗎
The difference is I can't just check out for a few days
我們的區別就在于，我根本不能完完全全的放松幾天
Or our whole family would fall apart!
否則我們的整個家就會垮掉
That's not true.
不是這樣的
You can loosen the reins a little.
你可以少管我們一點
We'll be fine. No, that's what you think.
我們都會很好的，不，這只是你的想法
But if I do—oh. What?
可如果我這么做了，哦，會怎樣
We splurge a bit? Spend a little money?
我們會更揮霍一些，多花點錢
We can afford to.
我們負擔得起的
It's a part of being on vacation.
這就是度假的一部分
Preach it, big man.
接著說，老大
Look, we work hard all year,
你想想，我們一直都在努力工作
No one harder than you.
沒人比你更辛苦了
Just let go for a day and relax.
就放松一天吧
I don't know how to relax.
我不知道要怎么放松
It seems like a waste of time.
這就好像在浪費時間
I could be marinating meat or driving.
我可以腌點肉或者開開車
It's easy. I'll show you.
很簡單，我來告訴你
First...
首先
Oh, aah. Oh, no, no, no, no.
哦，啊，哦，不不不不
No, no, no, no, no.
不不不不別動
I know it's free, but it's freezing in here.
我知道這是免費的，但這里面冷的跟廣寒宮一樣
You see, a part of being on vacation is enjoying yourself.
你看，享受生活是假期的一部分
I'm gonna book you a massage at the spa.
我去給你預定一個水療
No, don't! Uhp-bup!
不，不要
Loosen the reins, remember?
少管一點事情，記得嗎
Let me handle this.
讓我來處理
Now, you put on the hotel robe and slippers.
現在，穿上你的浴袍和拖鞋
Go on.
去呀
Boys.
兒子們
Remember that piece of paper your mother burned?
記得你們媽媽燒了的那張紙嗎
That's something called room service.
那東西叫客房服務菜單
I'm gonna show you how it works.
我來教你們怎么用它
Dad, can I go to gator world?
爸爸，我可以去鱷魚世界嗎
Of course you can.
當然可以
I'm in charge of the vacation now.
現在我來負責安排我們的假期
Whoo!
哇哦
I want to stay here and learn room service.
我想留在這里了解一下客房服務
That's fine.
很好
I can go by myself.
我可以自己去
The park's just across the street.
那個公園就在街對面
Well, I drove a bus when I was 11,
嗯，我十一歲的時候就會開公交車了
So I'm fine with that.
所以我同意
What about you, Evan?
埃文，你呢
What does it matter?
有什么關系呢
Every step we take in our non-velcro shoes
我們穿著沒有魔術貼的鞋子每走一步
Is another step towards the grave.
就離死亡近了一步
Great, so Evan will stay here, too.
很好，埃文也留在房間里
Welcome, Jessica.
歡迎光臨，杰西卡
Now, before we get started,
現在在我們開始之前
Do you have any injuries that—
你有沒有哪些地方受傷了...
Oh.
噢
Um, you're supposed to take your clothes off
嗯，你趴在按摩墊之前應該
Before you get under the sheet.
先把衣服脫了
Why? So you can go through my pockets?
為什么，這樣你就好搜我的口袋了么
Are you holding your purse?
你是在抓著你的手提袋嗎
Yes.
是的
I'm just gonna take your purse, okay?
我來幫你拿開手提袋，好嗎
No. And I'm gonna put it right here on the floor
不好，我把它放在旁邊的地上
So you can see it through your face hole.
這樣你可以透過臉洞看到它
Just let go, Jessica.
放手吧，杰西卡
I can't. I can't let go! Just let go.
我不能，我不能放手，放手吧
I ca—
我不
Thank you.
謝謝
And press.
然后播放
Is that John Tesh?
是約翰·泰斯的歌嗎
No, it's an underwater recording of humpback whales singing.
不是，是一段座頭鯨唱歌時的水下錄音
Why would whales be singing?
鯨魚為什么要唱歌
To communicate their joy.
為了表達它們的喜悅
What do you do for joy, Jessica?
你會做些什么來愉悅自己呢，杰西卡
I micromanage my family.
我微控我的家庭
Well, I think the whales are happy because they're free.
嗯，我覺得鯨魚因自由而快樂
But they're so fat.
但是它們那么肥
Not in the sea.
在海里不算什么
Underwater, they're weightless—
在水下它們都很輕
Weightless and free.
輕盈又自由
They are free.
它們是自由的
There we go.
好好享受
They sing...
它們唱歌
Because they are happy and free.
因為它們快樂又自由
I want to—you're standing in front of my purse a little.
我想...你站到我手提包前面一點了
I can't see it.
我看不見它了
Oh. Sorry.
噢，抱歉
That's better. Thank you.
好多了，謝謝
Just need that t-shirt.
要的就是這件T恤
John Tesh. Nice.
約翰·泰斯，不錯嘛
I take it you enjoyed your massage.
我猜你很享受你的按摩
I love being on vacation.
我愛度假
I just wish we didn't have to go home.
要是我們不用回家就好了
Well, that's how you know you enjoyed yourself.
嗯，這樣你才會知道自己有多享受
Now, you head up to the room and take a long bath.
現在你回房間好好泡個澡
I'll check out for us.
我來結賬
I'm proud of you.
真為你驕傲
You learned how to relax.
你學會了怎么放松
What the hell is this?!
這他媽是什么東西
Is there a problem with your bill?
您的賬單出了什么問題嗎
Of course there's something wrong with my bill!
我的賬單當然出問題了
Why is it so high?!
為什么這么高
Well, it is for six people, sir.
嗯，是六個人的，先生
"A-a additional occupancy fee, resort fee, share fee"?
額外住宿費，酒店服務費，分擔費
Oh, those are our hidden fees.
噢，這是我們的隱性費用
That's how we get ya!
這樣我們才能宰您啊
Well, what's a—$60 for a poolside hairdo?
嗯，池邊美發費，六十美金是什么回事
Hm.
哼嗯
Hidden fees. That's how they get you.
隱性費用，他們就是這樣宰你的
I didn't do the math! I'm on vacation!
我沒有算費用，我在度假
So am I, so I couldn't protect you from this.
我也在度假，所以我沒法保護你不上當
You're watching out for us so I don't have to.
你在替我們把關，所以我才不用操心
I can be me because I have you.
因為有你，我才能做我自己
Give me the bill.
把賬單給我
Hello.
你好
So, I was just going through our bill,
嗯，我剛看了一遍我們的賬單
And we will not be paying any of your hidden fees.
而且我們將不會支付任何一項你們的隱性費用
Ma'am, you can't choose what part you pay.
女士，你不能選擇你支付哪部分
Yes, I can.
是的，我能
Tell them what happened, baby.
告訴他們發生什么了，寶貝
I was running by the pool
我在泳池邊跑
'cause there's no lifeguard on duty.
因為他們沒有救生員在場
And no posted signage. And no posted signage.
也沒有張貼標識，也沒有張貼標識
And I fell.
然后我就摔倒了
And my tooth was knocked out of my head.
然后我的一顆牙齒摔飛了
Oh, my god.
噢，我的天吶
Your bill didn't include my child-disfigurement fee.
你的賬單里沒有包含我孩子毀容的費用
And that's how I get you.
我就是這么贏你們的
Oh, we also have AAA, so it's another 10% off.
噢，我們也有三A級信用，打個九折吧
I can't believe you got the hotel charges reduced.
難以置信，你竟然能讓酒店少收錢了
You are on a different level.
你完全是另一個級別啊
Good job, my baby.
好樣的，寶貝
Thanks, mommy.
謝謝，媽咪
The baby is back.
寶貝回來啦
Was that true? Did you
這是真的嗎，你真的
really fall by the pool and lose your tooth?
在泳池邊摔倒了然后把牙摔飛了嗎
No. Mom ripped it out with her hands.
不是，是媽媽用手拔掉的
Hey...
嘿
I died, and they brought me back!
我死了，然后他們把我扛回來了
Aw, hell no!
啊，鬼才去呢
So, we were cliff-diving off the coast
嗯，我們在海岸上跳水
When I saw them in the water—sharks.
當我在水里看到它們的時候，鯊魚們
I grabbed my harpoon—
我抓住我的魚叉
Dude, that's, like, a baby tooth.
伙計，那就像顆小孩的乳齒
What? No.
什么，才不是
It's a tooth from a hammerhead shark.
這是顆錘頭鯊的牙齒
They're smaller a-and flatter.
它們更小，也更平滑
More like a "Babyhead" Shark.
更像只“嬰兒頭”鯊
"Babyhead."
“嬰兒頭”
Okay, fine.
好吧，好吧
I didn't do anything this summer
我這個暑假什么也沒做
Except for sit around and play video games.
除了干坐著和玩電子游戲
That's cool. Nicole?
那挺酷的，妮可
What are you doing here?
你在這干嘛呢
I have to repeat the 8th grade.
我得再讀一年八年級
Partied too much with my mom and blew off summer school.
和我媽媽派對太多了還曠了暑期學校
Wish I'd done nothing like you.
真希望我沒像你那樣
You know this kid?
你認識這個小孩
Yeah, he's my friend.
是的，他是我朋友
You just chilled at home. I like it.
你就在家乖乖待著，挺好的
You're like... "Chill" Eddie.
你就像，“乖寶”艾迪
"Somebody stop me!"
“攔住我”
From what?
攔住你干什么
No, what—no. It's...
不是，什么，不，是
"Smokin'!"
抽煙
The Mask.
《變相怪杰》
Jim Carrey,
金·凱瑞
"Smokin'!"
抽煙
