評論
打印
Hey, how are things going with your parents?
你父母的情況怎么樣了？
Not great. They hired divorce attorneys.
不太好。他們請了離婚律師。
You know, speaking of attorneys, if I ever needed a lawyer, I would not hire SheHulk.
說到律師，如果哪天我需要請律師，我絕對不會請女浩克。
You know what? That was almost on topic. I'm gonna say, "Good job, Sheldon."
其實呢，剛才你的話跟主題很接近了。所以我要說"做得好哦，謝爾頓"。
Wait, SheHulk's a lawyer? Yeah, she works at a law firm in New York.
等等，女浩克是個律師嗎？是啊，她在紐約一家律師事務所做事。
Yes, but she's the only monster at the firm. Between you, me and the wall, I think she's an affirmative action hire.
是的，但是她是所里唯一的怪物。我說了別傳出去啊，我覺得她是因為平權法案才被請的怪物。
Anyway, Dad's gonna be here in town, so I won't be able to do Christmas dinner this year.
總而言之，我爸會來找我，所以我今年沒辦法替大家辦圣誕晚宴了。
If you're not up to hosting Christmas dinner, I'm happy to do it. You can even bring your father.
如果今年你沒辦法主辦圣誕晚宴，我很樂意來做啊。你還可以帶你父親一起來。
That would be nice.
那真是太好了。
I've always wanted to do a traditional Victorian Christmas. Parlor games, goose and figgy pudding...
我一直都想過一次傳統維多利亞式圣誕。玩會客廳游戲，吃圣誕烤鵝與果干布丁...
English pudding. Y You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
英式布丁。本來滿心期待有"布丁"吃，結果是英式的破葡萄干蛋糕。我不去。
You're going. Why do you hate me?
你就得來。我跟你什么仇什么怨啊？
I don't hate you. I love you. Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.
我跟你無冤無仇。我愛你。你把它稱之為愛也行，但里面還是有一堆葡萄干。
Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-giving.
艾米，讓這幾個家伙對主題晚餐有興趣簡直比登天還難。我的湯姆?漢克斯感恩節就因為沒人捧場而放棄。
I think a Victorian Christmas sounds nice. I agree. Me, too. You guys suck!
我覺得維多利亞式圣誕很不錯啊。同意。我也覺得。你們這群混蛋！
You know the best part of working in the clean room? No allergies. Check it out. Oh, that-that...that's a lot of oxygen.
你知道在無塵室里工作最棒的是什么嗎？不會過敏。你看。鼻子太通 ...一下吸進的氧氣有點多。
We should get going to Amy's.
我們該去艾米家了。
Can you believe there was a time when we would have needed an array of giant Cherenkov telescopes to detect cosmic particles? And here we are building our own multi-wire detector like a couple of badasses.
你能相信曾幾何時，人類得靠著巨大的切倫科夫望遠鏡陣列來探測宇宙射線粒子嗎？而如今我們自己就可以構建多線探測器，簡直霸氣到炸啊。
I know. If we were still single, we'd be tripping over all that booty.
是啊，如果我們還單身，都可以在女人堆里打滾了。
Ladies do love a man dressed like a kitchen garbage bag.
女人的確喜歡男人打扮得像個廚房垃圾袋。
Oh, no. How the hell did a pigeon get in here? You shut the loading doors, right? I thought you did.
慘了。這鴿子是怎么飛進來的？你關了外門對吧？我以為你關了。
Do you know what a disaster this is? !
你知道這有多嚴重嗎？！
You mean 'cause this room isn't supposed to have dust in it, and we just let in a flying crap machine? !
你是指因為這無塵室應該是要一塵不染，而我們放了一只會飛的拉屎機進來嗎？！
What do we do? Should we call someone?
我們該怎么辦？該打電話叫人來嗎？
And tell them that we compromised all the equipment? Let's just get it out of here before anyone knows.
告訴人家我們把所有設備都污染了嗎？趕緊趁沒人發現前把它趕出去。
Okay, how do we catch it?
好吧，我們該怎么抓它呢？
Well, what if we turn off all the lights except for one, and it'll come to it.
要不我們把所有燈關掉，只留下一盞燈，它就會飛過來。
It's not a moth!
它又不是飛蛾！
Don't yell at me. You're not gonna get any good ideas out of me if you're yelling.
別吼我。你越吼我，我越想不出什么好主意。
Okay, so if I remain calm, I'll get more gems like, "Turn off the lights"? !
所以如果我保持平靜，我就能聽到更多像"關燈"這樣的絕妙大計嗎？
Great, we're turning on each other. That's just what the bird wants us to do!
這下好了，我們反目成仇。正中了這只鳥的下懷。
So, Dr. Koothrappali, long flight? 20 hours. Oh, that's rough.
庫薩帕里醫生，飛了很久吧？足足20小時。很辛苦吧。
Not at all. Did you know that when you fly transcontinental without your wife, you don't pray for the plane to crash?
完全不會。不用跟妻子一起飛這種跨大陸航班，我也不用祈禱飛機趕緊墜機。
Can you please talk about anything else?
我們能聊點別的嗎？
Forgive me. How are you and Leonard? Oh, great. Everything's good.
抱歉，原諒我。你和萊納德如何了？很好啊，一切都很好。
I see you got engaged. Yes, we did. Let me tell you a story. Dad!
我發現你們好像訂婚了。是啊。讓我告訴你個故事。爸！
Sorry. I'm sure you won't grow to hate each other.
抱歉。我相信你們不會日漸憎恨彼此。
Hey, Leonard. What's up? What? How did that happen? Yeah, okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Sorry. I have to run to the university.
萊納德，怎么啦？什么？怎么會這樣？好吧，我盡快到。抱歉，我得去一下大學。
What's going on? There's been a problem with our experiment. A bird got into the clean room.
怎么了？我們的實驗出了點問題。有只鳥飛進了無塵室。
You want me to come? Uh, no. You had a long flight. You stay here and relax.
需要我去幫忙嗎？不用，你剛坐了這么長時間飛機，你就待著放松休息吧。
"Relax." Easy for you to say. Your mother isn't cleaning out your bank account. 40 years, the woman never cleaned a thing.
"放松"。你說得倒輕巧。你媽"清"空的又不是你的銀行賬戶。40年來，這女人從未"清"理過任何東西。
You're just gonna leave him here? "Relax," He says. Yup. Bye.
你要把他丟在這里嗎？他還好意思讓我放松。是的，再見。
"Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus. Right down Santa Claus Lane. Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer. Pulling on the reins..."
"圣誕老人來了，圣誕老人來了。正沿著圣誕老人道而來。兇婆娘和閃電，與其它馴鹿們，賣力拉著韁繩...
Yeah, I appreciate the ride... "Bells are ringing, children singing. All is merry and bright"
謝謝你能載我..." 鈴聲叮當，孩子歡唱。一切快樂又光明。"
"So hang your stockings and say your prayers" 'Cause Santa Claus is coming tonight...Why'd you turn it off?
"掛上你的圣誕襪，說出你的禱告詞。只因今晚圣誕老人要到來... "你干嘛關掉它？
Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed Mommy and ran Grandma over with a reindeer.
因為在過去的十分鐘里 《圣誕老人進城了》《我看見媽媽親吻圣誕老人》然后《奶奶被馴鹿撞死了》。
I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.
我有個酒鬼叔叔也會做這三件事啊。怎么沒人唱歌歌頌他呢。
Maybe you'd like it more if you thought of Santa as a superhero and his power is bringing joy to children.
如果你把圣誕老人看做是超級英雄，有給孩子們帶來歡樂的超能力，你會喜歡點。
My uncle was accused of that, too. It turned out to be legal in Oklahoma.
我叔叔也這樣啊，結果被指控了。結果在俄州那是合法的。
Okay, new subject. Let's talk about presents. What did you get Amy?
好吧，換個話題。我們聊聊禮物吧。你要送艾米什么呀？
Oh, we're not exchanging gifts.
我們不會互送禮物。
Come on, Sheldon, you have to get her something.
拜托，謝爾頓，送禮物給女朋友是一定要的啊。
Why should I? She knows that I don't like Christmas, and yet, every year, she forces me to celebrate it.
憑什么？她明知道我不喜歡圣誕節，可是每一年都強迫我一起慶祝。
Not only am I going to this foolish dinner against my will.
不光是這次逼我參加白癡的圣誕晚餐。
At the Christmas tree lot, there was mistletoe, and she kissed me under it in public. Like we were the stars of a Tijuana sex show.
之前在圣誕樹賣場那有一株槲寄生，她居然當眾親了我。我們就像墨西哥性愛秀的表演者。
She's just excited about the holidays.
她只是對節日感到興奮而已啦。
Yes, and she's not taking my feelings into account at all. Maybe it's time I teach her a lesson.
是啊，而她完全不顧及我的感受。或許是時候給她點教訓了。
How?
怎么做？
It'd have to be something heinous, something that makes her as miserable as she's making me. Oh, I've got it. This is good.
一定要給她來點狠招，極其邪惡的那種，就像她害我的那樣。我想到了。這主意太妙了。
What? I'm going to buy her a present.
是什么？我要送她一份禮物。
Yeah, you're gonna have to walk me through that.
好吧，你得好好給我講解一下。
With gift-giving, there's an implied social contract. If I show up tonight with a present, and she doesn't have one for me, she'll feel terrible.
禮品饋贈隱含了一種無形的社會契約。如果我今晚帶著禮物去她家，而她卻沒有為我準備禮物，那她就會內疚。
Then you're both sad?
然后你們倆都不開心？
Yes. Maybe she'll feel so guilty, she'll never make me celebrate the holidays again.
是的。或許她會內疚到永遠都不想跟我一起慶祝節日。
So your evil plot here is to buy your girlfriend a present?
所以你的邪惡陰謀是送你女朋友一份禮物嗎？
That's right. So stay on my good side, or I'll get you a little something, too.
沒錯。所以別惹我，否則本人也會賜你點"禮物"。
Okay, here's the plan. I'm gonna put the food in the bag, and when he lands in the bag to eat it, we close it up.
好，計劃是這樣：我把食物放進袋子里，一旦鴿子飛進去吃，我們就趕緊把口封死。
A Slim Jim? It's all I could find. It'll work.
一根肉條嗎？只有這個了，保證管用。
Sure. If the pigeon's stoned or a trucker.
瞎說。除非它嗑藥了，或者它是卡車司機。
Okay, well, what's your plan? I told you my plan. Let's call Building Services and get help.
好吧，那你的計劃是什么？我之前不是說了嗎。打給物業管理處，找人幫忙啊。
And admit that we contaminated the clean room? No, admit that you contaminated the clean room.
承認我們污染了無塵室嗎？不，是承認你污染了無塵室。
Why do you keep assuming it was me? Because you do this kind of thing all the time, and then you try to cover it up.
為什么你總認為責任在我？因為你總犯這樣的錯誤，還會試圖掩蓋事實。
Like when?
比如說？
What about when you flipped the Mars Rover, or lost Koothrappali's dog, or almost drove off with that baby?
比如說你把火星漫游者玩壞、弄丟了庫薩帕里的狗、差點開別人的車帶著別人的娃走了。
Again, it looked like my car, and the baby didn't even cry until his mother punched me with her keys.
重申一遍，那車跟我的車很像，而且那娃沒哭，是后來他媽用鑰匙打我才嚇哭的。
Fine, put the Slim Jim in the garbage bag. Well, what if you said it without sounding so condescending?
行，你想把肉條放垃圾袋里就放唄。你能不能講話不這么秀優越感？
I can try, but your plan has the words "Garbage bag" and "Slim Jim" in it!
我盡量，但你的計劃里有"垃圾袋"和"肉條"這兩個詞！
Hey, what's going on? Genius here wants to catch a bird with a garbage bag and a Slim Jim.
怎么回事？有一個天才想用一個垃圾袋和一根肉條抓住一只鳥。
Should have put it in the bag first.
真應該先放進袋子里。
So, if you don't mind me asking, do you think you might start dating again?
希望你別介意我多嘴，你認為你會開始跟其他人約會嗎？
It's much too soon for that. Why? Do you know someone?
現在說這個還太早吧。怎么了？要給我介紹對象嗎？
No, but if things don't work out with me and Leonard, I'll give you a call. Wait. How much do you talk about Star Trek?
沒有啦，但如果我和萊納德鬧掰了，我會打給你的。等等，你會經常大聊特聊《星際迷航》嗎？
Okay, let's get this Victorian party started. I've done some research about some traditional parlor games we can play.
好啦，我們維多利亞式派對開始啦。我做了些研究，找了幾個我們可以玩的會客廳游戲。
Like what?
比如什么？
Well, there's a fun one called Ball of Wool. You take a ball of wool, and you put it right in the center of the table.
有一個有趣的游戲叫"羊毛球"。你拿一個羊毛球，放在桌子的正中間。
Then people sit on opposite sides of the table and try to blow the wool off.
然后讓桌子兩端的人來回吹毛球。
Sorry. She's taken, too.
抱歉，她也有男友了。
You know what I think your problem is? You're jealous because you and I used to be best friends until Koothrappali came along.
你知道我覺得你問題在哪嗎？你嫉妒，因為你曾經是我最好的朋友，現在庫薩帕里插進來了。
And you found somebody you could push around? Hey! Stay out of this. Okay.
于是你終于找到可以任你擺布的人了？什么！你別摻合。好的。
You know, maybe I'm best friends with Raj because he doesn't think he's smarter than me. Actually...I said, stay out of it!
也許拉杰之所以能成為我最好的朋友，是因為他不會覺得自己比我聰明。其實... 我說你別摻合！
N No. No, Raj, go ahead, say what you were gonna say.
別別。拉杰你說，你剛剛想說什么。
All I'm gonna say is you guys need to stop this right now. It It's bad enough that my parents are fighting, now I have to hear the two of you?
我只想說你們別再吵了。我父母鬧矛盾已經夠糟了，現在還要聽你們倆吵架？
And who cares who's smarter? If it's Leonard or me or...you know, it's Christmas, let's say it's Howard.
誰在乎誰更聰明啊？誰管是萊納德還是我，還是...算了，大過節的，霍華德最聰明吧。
Well, if you're so smart, you get the bird out. No, you're the one who let him in.
既然你那么聰明，你把鳥趕出去啊。不，是你放進來的。
How do you know it wasn't Leonard? Come on.
你怎么知道不是萊納德放進來的？你說呢。
What about that sweater? No, it's not good enough. It has to be perfect.
那件毛衣怎么樣？不行，不夠好。必須要完美。
I think the nicest gifts I've got from Howie show how well he knows me.
我覺得華仔送我最棒的禮物是一份體現了他有多了解我的禮物。
Let's see, what do I know about Amy? She loves medieval literature; Chaucer's her favorite.
我想想，我了解艾米什么？她熱愛中世紀文學，最欣賞喬叟。
And her eyes sparkle when she watches old French movies. I enjoy how harp music causes her fingers to dance as if she's playing along.
在看法國老電影時，她的眼睛會變星星眼。我愛看她會隨著聽到的豎琴聲舞動手指，仿佛一同彈奏。
Wow, you really do love her.
你真的很愛她。
I do. Now, let's find the kind of gift that makes her feel small and worthless.
是呀。我們趕緊來找讓她無地自容又自慚形穢的禮物吧。
