評論
打印
This is an easy one. You love this guy. Me.
這題很簡單。你很喜歡他。我自己。
Come on. He's an underappreciated genius.
不是，他是個不夠受人敬仰的天才。
Still think it's me.
依然覺得是我自己。
It's not you. Now think, there's a car named after him.
不是你。再想想，有車以他的名字命名。
Of course there is. The Mini Cooper 'cause it's me.
當然有啦。迷你"庫伯"嘛，因為答案就是我。
How about this: he's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper. Oh, Tesla.
我換個方式說：他是降級版的謝爾頓?庫伯。特斯拉。
Hey. Hi. How'd it go? Oh, not fun. The doctor shoved a camera up into my sinuses.
好啊。好啊。怎么樣？慘啊。醫生把一個攝像頭塞進了我的鼻竇。
Yeah, I watched. It was like the scary boat tunnel in Willy Wonka.
我看了。像《查理與巧克力工廠》里那段嚇人的船游。
Did they figure out what's wrong?
查出是什么問題了嗎？
Yeah. It's a deviated septum. The surgery to correct it is simple. He's gonna do it next week.
查出了，是鼻中隔偏曲。矯正手術很簡單，醫生下周給我做。
Why would you have surgery? Because I can't breathe.
你為什么要做手術？因為我呼吸不順。
I snore, I get sinus infections...Yeah, back off, he's all mine.
打呼，還會鼻竇發炎...滾開，這"搶手貨"是我的。
But you don't have a life-threatening condition. Why would you take the risk of surgery?
但這又不是有生命危險的毛病，你為什么要以身犯險做手術呢？
Sheldon, it's a routine procedure. I've heard you complain about his snoring.
謝爾頓，這只是常規手術。我也聽你抱怨過他打呼很大聲啊。
We...Yes, for the first five or six years, but I've gotten used to it. It helps me sleep. He's like my mucus-powered white noise machine.
是啊，同住的頭五六年是這樣的，但我都已經慢慢習慣了。而且還能助我入眠呢。他就像我的鼻黏液動力助眠儀。
Sheldon, I'm gonna get the surgery, it's no big deal. End of story.
謝爾頓，我要做這個手術，不用大驚小怪。不必多說了。
Very well. I'm done talking about it. Thank you.
行，那我也不多說了。謝謝。
I believe it was your turn in the game. Okay.
我記得現在是輪到你猜了吧。好的。
Let's see...Oh, this person is most famous for never having gotten his nose mutilated with elective surgery and never living the rest of his life in the shadows as a hideous, disfigured freak.
我想想...這個人最出名的，就是絕不會讓鼻子接受非必要手術的殘害，更不會讓自己下半輩子活在丑陋畸形的妖怪陰影之下。
I think you could give a better clue.
我覺得你能給出更好的提示。
I don't. I'm not even sure if that's a person or a typo.
給不出啊。我都不知道那是人名，還是打錯字。
Okay, why? I'm listening to you snore. I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.
能告訴我為什么嗎？我來聽你打呼啊。我在想日后聽不見了，該如何入眠。
If it helps you sleep, then why are you sitting here staring at me like the albino boogeyman?
如果能助你入眠，那你為什么還坐在這里盯著我？像個白化癥版的夜魔鬼。
Really, Leonard-- insults? After I spent two hours in your closet, waiting for you to fall asleep?
萊納德，羞辱我你忍心嗎？為了等你睡著，我可是在你衣柜里蹲點了兩個小時呢。
What's your problem?
你到底要干什么？
If the surgery is successful, the snoring is gone. And if you die during surgery the snoring is gone.
如果手術成功了，打呼會消失。但如果你手術臺上死了，打呼也會消失。
It sounds like either way, I finally get some rest.
所以無論如何，你都不會來煩我了。
I have to be honest with you Leonard, I'm truly worried.
萊納德，我實話告訴你，我真的很擔心。
I I told you, there's nothing to worry about.
我跟你說了，沒什么好擔心的。
Well, I've been doing some research and I've learned that one in 700,000 people die from general anesthesia.
我去查了些資料，每70萬做全身麻醉的人中就有1人死亡呢。
Buddy, w...Do you realize that also means 699,999 people don't die?
兄弟，那你知道這就代表有另外69萬9千9百99人沒死嗎？
I suppose that's true. You're such a glass half-full kind of guy. I'm going to miss that.
你說得也沒錯。你真是個樂觀的人啊。我會緬懷你的樂觀的。
Oh, so, my, uh, parents' 40th anniversary's coming up and I can't think of a thing to get them.
我爸媽的結婚40周年紀念日快到了，我想不出該送他們什么。
Damn, can you imagine being married to someone for 40 years?
靠，你能想像跟一個人結婚40年之久嗎？
Not anymore. Anyway, any ideas on a gift?
想像不到了。所以，有什么禮物推薦嗎？
Well, what are some of the things they like?
他們平常喜歡些什么呢？
They used to like going to the Mumbai Symphony, but last year my mom thought they were phoning it in. Then my dad said based on their love life, she should know about phoning it in.
他們以前喜歡去聽孟買交響樂團。去年時，我媽覺得他們只是在瞎糊弄。我爸說從性生活來看，我媽的確是很懂"瞎糊弄"。
He said that to her? Well, they weren't speaking at the time, so he had a servant say it to her.
你爸這么跟你媽說話啊？當時他倆在冷戰，所以他讓下人去跟她說的。
Oh, maybe I could make a gift for them. I know how much you guys love the coasters I made for you.
或許我能給他倆親手做個禮物。我知道你們倆非常喜歡我給你們做的杯墊。
They're yours in the divorce.
如果離婚了，杯墊歸你。
Hey. What're you working on?
在研究什么呢？
Remember when I said if you went through with your surgery, there was a one-in-700,000 chance of dying?
還記得我跟你說，如果你去做手術你有70萬分之1的幾率死亡嗎？
Yeah...?
然后呢？
Well, I've been crunching the numbers, and so far, I've gotten your probability of death all the way to a sphincter-tightening one in 300.
我研究了數據，目前我已經把你做手術的死亡率提高到了讓菊花一緊的300分之1了。
Great timing. My "Check sphincter" light just went on.
說得真是時候。我的"檢查菊花"燈剛好亮了呢。
Leonard, what if you have an allergic reaction to the surgeon's latex gloves? I'm not allergic to latex.
萊納德，要是你對外科醫生的乳膠手套產生過敏反應怎么辦？我對乳膠不過敏。
Well, then why don't you wear the rubber gloves I bought for you to do the dishes?
那你為什么不戴我給你買的洗碗用橡膠手套？
For the same reason I don't wear the apron or the hair net.
跟我不穿圍裙不戴發網的理由一樣。
Fine. What about epilepsy? I don't have epilepsy, either.
好吧。那癲癇呢？我也沒有癲癇。
You don't, but the surgeon might, hmm? And your carotid artery is just one shaky scalpel away from becoming the dancing fountain at Disneyland.
你是沒有，但手術醫生可能有啊。只有手術刀稍微拿不穩，你的頸動脈就立刻變成迪士尼的跳舞噴泉。
Sheldon, do you realize that driving is riskier than surgery?
謝爾頓，你知道開車比做手術更危險嗎？
I do. I have the drive to the hospital right here. That is if you make it to the car without falling down the stairs. And don't expect me to carry you, I do that enough in life.
我知道。開車去醫院的命喪幾率在這呢。前提是你能順利上車，沒有掉下樓梯摔死。別指望我背你，我平常夠罩著你了。
Buddy, I I get that you're worried about me and I I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.
伙計，我知道你是擔心我，我很謝謝你的好意。但我不會死的。
You don't know that.
你又不知道。
I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike.
我肯定知道我不會死于小行星撞地球。
You know who else said that? Every cocky T.Rex currently swimming around in the gas tank of your car.
你知道誰還這么說過嗎？每頭自認天下無敵的霸王龍。早化成石油在你汽車油箱里游泳呢。
I If there was an asteroid strike, wouldn't you die, too?
如果真有小行星撞地球，那你不也會死嗎？
I don't know. I'm smart and scrappy, I think I'd find a way.
那可不好說。我又聰明生命力又強，我覺得我會活下去。
Tell you what, the surgery's not for a week, I'll think about it.
這樣吧，離手術還有一周時間，我再好好考慮一下。
Thank you. And while you're thinking about it, if you have the surgery in Nicaragua during monsoon season, I can practically guarantee your death.
謝謝。你考慮的時候不妨想想，如果你暴雨季節在尼加拉瓜做手術，我可以打包票你必死無疑。
Yes. Okay. I I understand. Of course, yes. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.
是，好的。我明白。當然，是的。我明天打給你。再見。
So I found this fencing school in Burbank that has a Jedi class. And if you're cool being the only adults there, they said they are.
我發現伯班克市有一個擊劍學校開有絕地武士教學班。如果你不介意是那個班里唯一的大人，那他們很樂意接收你。
Dude, my parents just split up. What? !
兄弟，我的父母剛離婚了。什么？！
Uh, that was my dad on the phone. He moved out.
剛才是我爸的電話。他搬出去了。
Oh, my God, I...I'm sorry. I mean, if you're not up to it, we don't have to go out, we can just hang here.
天啊，我很遺憾。如果你不想去，我們可以不出去，待在家里也行。
No, it's fine. It's not that big a deal. As long as they're happy, I'm happy.
沒關系。沒什么大不了的。只要他們開心，我就開心。
And when I get to see them for the holidays, I'll get to celebrate Diwali twice-- one at each house. That's double the Diwali.
等我節假日回去看他們時，我得過兩次印度排燈節。一人家里過一次。那就變成了"雙"排燈節。
You sure you're okay? I'm okay.
你確定沒事嗎？沒事。
You don't look okay. How can I be okay? I come from a broken home.
你看起來可不像。怎么可能會沒事？我是一個家庭破碎的小孩。
The doctor said I should be out of surgery by 10:00.
醫生說10點我手術就做完了。
Okay. And Sheldon really believes we're at a public swimming pool?
好的。謝爾頓真的會相信我們去公共泳池游泳了嗎？
He was so busy figuring out how many parts per million of urine we'd be floating around in, he didn't even question it.
他肯定會忙著算我們泡在含百萬分之多少的尿液里，沒空起疑心。
18 parts per million. And he's still doing it.
百萬分之18。他仍執意要去。
Don't worry about that. I'm happy to take you to work.
別管他們啦。我很開心能載你去上班。
Well, thank you. And Leonard never lets me have French toast sticks in the car. I can't have syrupy fingers, but he can do the backstroke in a toilet bowl.
謝謝你。萊納德從來不準我在車里吃法式吐司條。我不能有沾上糖漿的手指，但他卻能在馬桶里仰泳。
It's nice they're getting exercise.
他們鍛煉身體也是好事啊。
Although now that I think about it, Leonard would never go swimming in public without his swim shirt.
現在仔細想想，萊納德去公共場合游泳時，一定會穿上他的游泳衣。
I'm sure he brought it.
他肯定帶了。
No, but last year, at Magic Mountain, he got such a bad sunburn, we had to cut him out of it.
不可能，去年在魔術山游樂場他嚴重曬傷，得把泳衣剪掉才能脫下來。
He probably got a new one. Finish your breakfast. Look, there's an entire section of my dashboard that doesn't have any syrup on it.
他可能買了新的。快吃你的早餐。瞧，我儀表板上還有一整塊區域沒有糖漿呢，快去亂沾。
You're acting odd. Why?
你舉止好奇怪。怎么了？
I'm odd all the time, everyone knows that. Just last night, I tried to see how many fava beans I could fit in my mouth.
我向來舉止古怪，每個人都知道。昨晚我還往自己嘴里塞蠶豆試試到底能塞多少顆呢。
Tell me the truth. 28.
告訴我實話。28顆。
Come on. Fifty-six. Amy! What's going on?
老實點。其實是56顆啦。艾米！到底怎么回事？
All right. Don't get upset, but...an earlier appointment opened up for Leonard and he's getting the surgery right now.
好吧。別生氣哦，萊納德得到一個提前做手術的機會，現在他應該在做手術中呢。
I see. Take me to Leonard. Just go to work, he'll be fine.
我明白了。載我去找萊納德。你就乖乖上班吧，他會沒事的。
Amy, he's my best friend, and if you don't take me, I'm going there anyway.
艾米，他是我最好的朋友，就算你不載我去，我也一定會去。
Fine. It's sweet that you care about him so much.
好吧。你真是位好朋友，這么關心他。
I do. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, if something happened to him and I wasn't at his bedside to say, "I told you so."
沒錯。萬一他有什么不測，而我沒在他床邊跟他說 "我就說吧。"我一定無法原諒自己。
