評(píng)論
打印
Oh, hey, we ran into your mom at Benihana last night.
我們昨晚在鐵板燒店碰見你媽媽了。
Uh, yeah, she loves that place. Every time they flip a shrimp in the air, she practically leaps out of her seat to catch it. That's why I don't take her to the Seaworld.
是啊，她超愛去那里。每次大廚把大蝦翻炒到空中時(shí)，她會(huì)一個(gè)飛撲上去叼住。所以我從不帶她去海洋公園(喂海豚）。
I know you don't want to hear it, but she was there with Stuart.
我知道你不想聽到這事，但是她是跟斯圖爾特一起去的。
That's fine. I don't care.
隨便啊，我又無所謂。
It doesn't bug you when they go out on dates?
他們出去約會(huì)你不會(huì)不爽嗎？
They're not dating. They're just two friends who went out to dinner.
他們不是約會(huì)，只是兩個(gè)朋友一起出去吃飯。
And then went back to the home they share where they probably fell asleep in the matching pajamas she got them because they both just love penguins.
吃完一起回他們共住的房子，沒準(zhǔn)睡覺時(shí)兩人還穿著你媽媽買的情侶睡衣，因?yàn)樗麄儌z都喜歡企鵝。
Hey, lots of people wear matching pajamas who aren't dating.
很多不是情侶的人也穿著情侶睡衣啊。
Like who? Like you and your dog.
比如說？你和你的狗。
Don't rule out the dating.
話別說太早哦。
Fine, it bothers me. You happy?
行，我心里超不爽。你們高興了吧？
You think you've got problems.
你這問題算什么啊。
The gibbon is the only member of the ape family not classified as a great ape.
長(zhǎng)臂猿是人猿總科中唯一不是大猿的猿類。
How is this helpful?
你這話對(duì)我有啥幫助？
All the non-human apes are classified as great apes except one.
所有非人類的猩猩全都?xì)w在人猿總科下的人科里。
That means taxonomists created the entire category of lesser ape just to single out the poor gibbon as the weird kid on the playground.
這就表示，分類學(xué)家創(chuàng)造了小猿這個(gè)分類來孤立可憐的長(zhǎng)臂猿。他就像操場(chǎng)上被排擠的小孩。
Now there's a hairy little fellow with a genuine beef.
這些毛茸茸的小伙心中才是真不爽呢。
But the gibbon doesn't know what it's categorized as. It doesn't even know it's called a gibbon.
但是長(zhǎng)臂猿們不知道自己被分類成什么。它們都不知道自己叫長(zhǎng)臂猿。
True. Sorry, kid, you've got it worse than a gibbon.
這倒是。抱歉，兄臺(tái)，你比長(zhǎng)臂猿還慘。
Hi. Hey. We brought snacks for movie night.
嗨。嘿。電影之夜我們帶零食來了。
Oh, great. I don't suppose you also brought napkins, clean bowls, utensils and a roll of toilet paper. Right here.
太好了。你們不會(huì)順便還帶了餐巾紙、干凈的碗、餐具，外加一卷廁紙吧。還真帶了。
You guys are the best. What's with the clothes?
你們最好了。這些衣服是怎么回事？
Well, with all the new stuff I bought for work, I needed to make room in my closet.
我為了工作買了不少職業(yè)裝，衣櫥得清出一些空位啊。
I meant why are they folded? But whatever. Ooh, what's this?
我是問這次衣服怎么是疊好的。不過隨便吧。這件是干嘛的？
That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
說了怕你們不信，那是我當(dāng)年的畢業(yè)舞會(huì)裙。
Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere.
你還留著啊？我還以為會(huì)急忙中被揉成一團(tuán)，丟到谷倉(cāng)的某個(gè)角落去了。
What kind of teenager did you think I was? Slutty. Easy.
你把我當(dāng)年想成是哪種人了啊？淫蕩。風(fēng)騷。
The word is "popular." How was your prom? Did you go?
那是叫"受歡迎"好嗎。你當(dāng)年的舞會(huì)如何？你去了嗎？
No, but I was on clean-up crew. Aw, that's sad.
沒，但我去打掃了。太可憐了。
No, it was okay. The DJ let me dance one slow song with my mop before he shut down. Whenever I see a bucket of dirty water, I still hear "Lady in Red."
不會(huì)，其實(shí)也還行。DJ在收工前，讓我與我的拖把共舞了一曲慢歌。每當(dāng)我看到一桶臟水，耳邊還會(huì)響起那曲《紅衣女郎》。
My prom was pretty terrible, too. I was so excited about my date, but it turned out he only asked me 'cause he liked my friend. He spent the whole night talking about her.
我當(dāng)年的舞會(huì)也挺糟糕。當(dāng)時(shí)我超興奮那個(gè)男生來約我，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)他是為了泡我朋友所以才來約我。他一整個(gè)晚上都在聊我的朋友。
Okay, we get it, you had a friend and a date. Stop bragging.
行行行，你有朋友又有人約。不要顯擺啦。
Doesn't matter. Prom is silly anyways.
無所謂啦。畢業(yè)舞會(huì)蠢爆了。
Easy for you to say; you probably went with the captain of the football team.
你說當(dāng)然容易，你當(dāng)年估計(jì)是跟橄欖球隊(duì)隊(duì)長(zhǎng)一起去的。
No. I just made out with him a little while his date was puking.
才不是。我只是趁他的舞伴喝吐時(shí)偷偷跟他親熱了一番。
My date would've had to clean that up.
那嘔吐物就會(huì)是我的舞伴拖把來清理。
Ooh, I have an idea. Maybe we can have, like, a prom do-over.
喂，我有個(gè)主意。我們可以來一個(gè)二次舞會(huì)啊。
Oh, that would be so much fun. We could decorate the roof and make the guys wear tuxedos.
那應(yīng)該會(huì)很好玩吧。我們可以布置一下屋頂，讓他們穿晚禮服。
Ooh, and get our hair done, and slow-dance.
我們也去弄好頭發(fā)，然后與他們跳慢舞。
Okay, guys, trust me, as someone who's been to, like, seven proms, it is never as good as you want it to be.
兩位，相信我。作為去過大概有七場(chǎng)畢業(yè)舞會(huì)的人，舞會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)如你們想象中那般美好。
You went to seven proms?
你去了七場(chǎng)舞會(huì)嗎？
Yeah, let's see. Uh, four "Under the Seas," Two "Enchanted Evenings," and one "Night to Remember" that...I cannot remember for the life of me.
對(duì)，我想想。四場(chǎng)"深海主題" 、兩場(chǎng)"魔法奇緣"、一場(chǎng)"難忘之夜"。那一夜我可是喝到一點(diǎn)都記不得。
Hey. Hey. Hey, where's Bernadette?
嘿。嘿。嘿，伯納黛特呢？
She and Amy are out dress shopping for their prom thing.
她跟艾米出去買舞會(huì)的禮服了。
Oh, yeah, I got that Evite. Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom.
我有收到電郵邀請(qǐng)。我看完《紅粉佳人》后我也好想?yún)⒓用绹?guó)人的畢業(yè)舞會(huì)。
But then I saw Carrie, and I did not want to go to an American prom.
但看完《魔女嘉麗》，我又一點(diǎn)都不想?yún)⒓用绹?guó)的畢業(yè)舞會(huì)了。
But then I saw Never Been Kissed, and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom thing's been a real roller coaster.
但我又看了《一吻定江山》，我又重新想?yún)⒓赢厴I(yè)舞會(huì)了。畢業(yè)舞會(huì)這事真讓我的心大起大落啊。
Bernie's really excited. I I could tell because her voice got so high, the beagle next door started howling.
妮妮很興奮呢。我知道她興奮是因?yàn)樗曇糇兂猓舯诘墓仿牭蕉奸_始狗嚎了。
Did you go to your prom?
你有去畢業(yè)舞會(huì)嗎？
No. I had a date with a proper education. Instead of a tuxedo, I dressed myself in good habits.
沒。因?yàn)槲遗c當(dāng)個(gè)好學(xué)生有個(gè)約會(huì)。比起一身燕尾服，我養(yǎng)成一身好習(xí)慣。
Instead of spiked punch, I enjoyed the intoxicating flavor of knowledge.
比起摻了烈酒的潘趣酒，我更喜歡知識(shí)醉人的味道。
Instead of dancing in a gym, I shook my booty to the seductive rhythms...Okay, okay. ...of AP Calculus.
比起在體育館里跳舞，我更愿意隨著AP微積分誘人的節(jié)奏...夠了夠了。...抖屁股。
How come you're not shopping with Amy and Bernadette?
你怎么沒有跟艾米和伯納黛特一起去采購(gòu)呢？
Let me guess, you think the whole idea is lame?
我來猜猜，你覺得這個(gè)舞會(huì)主意爛爆了？
Well, who cares what I think? What do you think?
不要管我怎么想，你覺得如何？
Hmm, to be honest, it's kind of a dream come true to go to even a fake prom with a woman as beautiful as you.
老實(shí)說，即使這是個(gè)假的畢業(yè)舞會(huì)，但能有你這么美的舞伴，也算是美夢(mèng)成真吧。
Ugh, thanks a lot. What?
真是謝謝了。怎么了？
Well, now I can't blow this thing off without being a bitch. That sounds like a "Yes"!
要是我說不想?yún)⒓樱痪统闪藟呐肆藛帷Ｋ哉f她答應(yīng)了！
Ooh, every single person RSVP'd "Yes." This is so exciting! Isn't this exciting?
每一位受邀的人都回復(fù)說參加。真是太讓人激動(dòng)了！你說是不是呀？
Yep. Look, even Stuart's bringing a date. I wonder who it is.
是。就連斯?fàn)枅D特都要帶舞伴來。真好奇那人是誰。
You know exactly who it is. He's gonna bring my mom. Why did you even invite him?
你明明知道那人是誰。我媽就是他的舞伴。你干嘛要邀請(qǐng)他啊？
Because he's our friend, and you two need to get along. And why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
因?yàn)樗俏覀兊呐笥眩銈儌z必須和睦相處。再說了，他為什么不能帶你媽來？你畢業(yè)舞會(huì)的時(shí)候不也帶了嗎。
I didn't "Take" her; she was a chaperone.
我沒有"帶"她去，她是去"監(jiān)護(hù)"我。
I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
我見過一張你們一起跳舞的照片。
W What was I gonna do? They were playing our song! I can't take this anymore.
不能怪我，當(dāng)時(shí)在播我們愛的主打歌！我受不了了。
Hello. Stuart, we have to talk. This thing with you and my mom, I I hate it.
你好。斯?fàn)枅D特，我們得談?wù)劇Ｄ愀覌屇屈c(diǎn)事兒讓我超不爽。
It's making me crazy. You and I were friends for years, and now you're bringing my mother to a party I'm going to? ! What the hell? !
都快把我逼瘋了。你我是多年的朋友了，如今你卻要帶我媽去參加我也在場(chǎng)的舞會(huì)。太離譜了吧？！
I'm not bringing your mother, I have a date.
我沒有要帶你媽去啊，我有其他舞伴。
Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother?
所以你現(xiàn)在是背著我媽偷吃嗎？
Wha What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on with me and your mother.
你在胡說什么呀？我和你媽之前完全不存在任何逾越之舉。
Stewie, your bath is getting cold! I got to go, bye.
圖仔，你的洗澡水要涼了哦！我得掛了，再見。
Penny? Penny. Penny. Penny. Penny. You knocked more than usual.
佩妮？佩妮。佩妮。佩妮。佩妮。今天敲門的次數(shù)比平時(shí)多呀。
Next time I might be in a rush, it's good to have a few in the bank.
下次我可能有急事，先多敲兩下存著吧。
Okay, what's up?
找我干嘛？
I'd like to discuss this party that Amy and Bernadette are throwing. Since you and I are both reluctant to go, I think I've come up with a perfect way for us to enjoy it.
我想跟你討論下艾米和伯納黛特舉辦的這個(gè)舞會(huì)。既然我和你都不想?yún)⒓樱蚁氲搅艘粋€(gè)讓我們樂在其中的完美方法。
Great, how? We pretend we're aliens.
好呀，怎么做？我們假裝成外星人。
I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I'm gonna say that you love it and want to hear more.
我不擅長(zhǎng)閱讀面部表情，但我猜你很喜歡這主意，并想深入了解它。
Now, in the beloved novel Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, an alien named Ford Prefect pretended to be human in order to blend in
在受人喜愛的小說《銀河系漫游指南》中，一位叫福特?派法特的外星人為了混進(jìn)人類世界假扮人類，
so that he could write an entry about Earth for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is a travel book within the actual book, which is also called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
目的就是為替《銀河系漫游指南》寫一本地球指南。而這本旅游指南恰恰是一本真書的一部分。而那本真書名字就叫《銀河系漫游指南》。
Okay, just one question. What?
我只有一個(gè)問題。你說什么？
My point is, pretending to be an alien is a valuable coping mechanism I've used many times. I did it the first time I went to see you in a play.
我的意思是，假裝外星人是我使用過多次非常有用的應(yīng)對(duì)機(jī)制。我第一次去看你演出時(shí)就用過。
You had no idea Commander Umfrumf of Ceti Alpha Three was in the audience. Oh, d-don't worry, he gave you seven thumbs up.
你根本不知道觀眾里有來自天囷星的指揮官。別擔(dān)心，他豎起七根大拇指叫好哦。
Here's a question, as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
那么問題來了：作為假扮人類的外星人，你打算跟艾米遵循舞會(huì)后人類交配的慣例嗎？
There are post-prom mating rituals?
舞會(huì)后還有交配的慣例嗎？
Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
也不盡然啦。但如果你舞伴的貨車上有充氣床墊，那就是慣例啦。
Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
如果這是舞會(huì)體驗(yàn)的一部分，那我愿意接受。
You're kidding.
你開玩笑呢吧。
I may be an alien, but I have urges. If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin.
我或許是個(gè)外星人，但我也有沖動(dòng)啊。如果艾米想交配，把卵子發(fā)射進(jìn)太空，那好，我很樂意用我"上殖器"的生殖囊兜住它們。
I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
雖然我不擅長(zhǎng)閱讀面部表情，但我能看出你有點(diǎn)小性?shī)^哦。
You know, if you're not gonna learn how to do this, they make some pretty good clip-ons.
如果你懶得學(xué)怎么系領(lǐng)結(jié)，有很多夾上去的領(lǐng)結(jié)也很漂亮。
Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on.
布魯斯?韋恩才不用夾上去的領(lǐng)結(jié)。
Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him.
布魯斯 韋恩也不會(huì)讓他的室友幫忙系啊。
His name is Alfred, and, yes, he does. There, perfect.
他的室友阿福，會(huì)幫他系領(lǐng)帶啊。好了，完美。
What, are you sure? It's my first prom, I want to do it correctly.
你確定嗎？這是我人生第一場(chǎng)畢業(yè)舞會(huì)，我可得按照規(guī)矩來。
I thought you were gonna pretend to be an alien.
我以為你要打破常規(guī)扮外星人呢。
I was, but Penny didn't want to. You didn't want to. Bernadette, Amy, Koothrappali and Wolowitz didn't want to. And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody.
我想來著，不過佩妮不想。你也不想。伯納黛特，艾米，庫(kù)薩帕里和沃羅威茨都不想。而連我都知道，請(qǐng)臨演來會(huì)很怪。
Was that a flask?
那是酒壺嗎？
Yes. I've decided to embrace all of the traditions associated with prom, including spiking the punch.
是的。我決定接受所有和舞會(huì)相關(guān)的傳統(tǒng)，包括在潘趣酒里摻烈酒。
You're gonna put alcohol in the punch?
你要在潘趣酒里摻烈酒？
Oh, no, this is pomegranate juice. It's all the fun of high school high jinks with the cell-protecting zip of antioxidants.
才不，這是石榴汁。用保護(hù)細(xì)胞老化的抗氧化物，來玩高中生尋歡作樂的游戲。
If you had ripped jeans and a leather jacket, you'd be like the toughest kid on the Disney Channel. So, anything else planned for tonight?
如果你再穿上破爛的牛仔褲和皮夾克，你就可以當(dāng)?shù)鲜磕醿和_(tái)中的校霸了。今晚還有什么安排嗎？
Oh, everything. Getting our picture taken, slow-dancing, being elected prom king. Pointing out that kings aren't elected. It's gonna be off the hook.
舞會(huì)一切要做的事。跟大家照相 、慢舞、被選為舞會(huì)國(guó)王。再指正大家，國(guó)王不是民選的。到時(shí)候肯定爽翻天。
And while you're at it, I know that at this age your hormones are raging, but just because all your friends are having sex doesn't mean you have to.
既然你提起了，我知道在這個(gè)年齡你的荷爾蒙激增，雖然你的朋友們都在嘿咻，不見得你也非得去做。
Why would you say that?
你何出此言？
You know, 'cause...'cause a lot of people lose their virginity on prom night.
因?yàn)?..很多人的初夜都是在畢業(yè)舞會(huì)上失去的。
Penny implied the same thing. Is this true?
佩妮也暗示過這個(gè)。是真的嗎？
Just relax, it's a joke. You don't have hormones.
放輕松，我開玩笑的。你根本沒有荷爾蒙。
