評論
打印
I got him! Take him down! He's got you, Sheldon.
超過他了！打敗他！他超過你了，謝爾頓。
Look at this move! He's completely schooling you. Hey, guys, guys, some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something.
瞧這下！他完全超過你了。嘿，伙計們伙計們，別的女服務生要我問你們點事。
It's called trestling.
這叫trestling（自創詞，tetris+wrestling。）。
It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling with the mental agility of tetris into the ultimate sport.
這是一項將掰手腕的體力和玩俄羅斯方塊的思維能力集為一體的運動。
Yeah, that's terrific, but what they wanted me to ask you is to cut it the hell out.
嗯，聽起來很厲害，但是她們問你們是否可以打住了。
Great. Come here, guys. Come on. Happy birthday to you.
很好來吧伙計們來吧，祝你生日快樂。
We might as well stop. It's a stalemate.
我們最好停下吧，陷入平局了，
You're beating me in tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a Keebler elf.
俄羅斯方塊上你贏了我，但你的上肢力量就像科伯餅干玩偶。
Keebler elf? I've got your keebler elf right here.
科伯玩偶？讓你瞧瞧科伯玩偶的厲害！
Okay, it's a stalemate.
好吧，平局。
So, Leonard, will we be seeing you on saturday for your free birthday cheesecake?
那么蘭納德，周六帶免費芝士生日蛋糕去見你？
He can't eat cheesecake. He's lactose intolerant.
他不能吃芝士蛋糕，他不吃乳糖。
Okay, he can have carrot cake.
好吧，他可以吃胡蘿卜蛋糕。
What about the cream cheese frosting? He can scrape it off.
那層奶油干酪怎么辦？他可以刮掉嘛。
Forget about the cake. How do you know that my birthday is saturday?
別管蛋糕了，你怎么知道周六是我生日？
I did your horoscope, remember? I was going to do everybody's, until Sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants.
我幫你算過星座記得不？我本來要幫所有人算的，但謝爾頓開始了他的瘋言瘋語。
For the record, "that psychotic rant" was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer,
請注意你所謂的瘋言瘋語是伯特倫·弗瑞爾的研究的簡明總結。
who, in 1948, proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments that astrology is nothing but pseudo-scientific hokum.
他在1948年經過精密的設計性實驗得出占星學只不過是一堆偽科學的廢話。
Blah, blah, blah. Typical taurus. So, seriously, are we going to see you saturday?
廢話好多，典型的金牛座。說真的我們周六能見到你嗎？
Uh, I don't think so. Why not?
呃，我不這么認為。為什么不？
I don't celebrate my birthday. Shut up. Yeah, you do.
我不慶祝生日的。少來，哪能不慶祝呢。
It's no big deal; it's just the way I was raised.
沒什么大不了的，我就這么長大的。
My parents focused on celebrating achievements, and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.
我父母注重于慶祝巨大成就，我從產道里蹦出來對他們來說并不是其中之一。
That's so silly. It's actually based on very sound theories. His mother published a paper on it.
這太愚蠢了。實際上這基于非常有力的理論，他母親還就此發表了論文。
Well, what was it called? "I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"?
哦？叫什么題目？“我討厭我兒子所以他不能吃蛋糕”？
It was obviously effective. Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist.
這樣做顯然很有效果，蘭納德成長為一個實驗物理學家。
Perhaps if she'd also denied him christmas, he'd be a little better at it. Thank you.
也許如果不讓他過圣誕節會比現在更優秀。謝謝你。
Well, I love birthdays. Waking up to mom's special french toast breakfast,
我喜歡過生日，早上起來吃媽媽特制的法國吐司，
wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends... Yeah, see? That's what kids should have.
頭戴生日王冠和所有的朋友一起玩激光搏擊……是啊，瞧見沒？ 孩子就應該這么過。
Actually, that was last year.
實際說的是我去年的生日。
So you really never had a birthday party?
你真的從來沒有辦過生日派對？
No, but it was okay. I mean, when I was little,
沒有。不過沒關系，我是指在我還小的時候，
I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind and surprise me with a party.
我曾想也許我父母會改變主意然后給我一個驚喜派對，
Like this one birthday I came home from my cello lesson and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front.
比如有次生日我剛學完大提琴回家，我看到很多陌生車停在門外，
When I got to the door, I could hear people whispering and I could smell German chocolate cake, which is my favorite.
走到門口還聽見人們在小聲說話，而且還聞到了德國巧克力蛋糕的味道，那是我最喜歡的蛋糕。
And? It turns out my grandfather had died.
然后呢？結果是我爺爺去世了。
Oh, my god. That's terrible.
噢我的天哪，這太恐怖了。
Well, it was kind of like a birthday party. I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so...
但我覺得也算個生日派對了，我見到了所有的表兄弟，也有蛋糕……
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
這是我聽過最可憐的事了。
You think? Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom.
你這么覺得？告訴她你畢業舞會的事。
Make sure they remember no peanuts.
一定要記得不要放花生。
Howard, every Thai restaurant in town knows you can't eat peanuts.
霍華德，城里每個泰國餐廳都知道你不能吃花生。
When they see me coming, they go, "ah, no-peanut boy!"
他們一看到我去就會說“啊，不要花生的男孩！”
Hello, Penny. Leonard just left. I know. I want to talk to you.
你好佩妮，蘭納德剛剛出門。我知道，我想要跟你談談。
What would we talk about? We have no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of. As you know, I don't care for chitchat.
我們談些什么？據我所知我們沒有共同語言，你知道的我不喜歡閑談。
Can you just let me in?
能讓我進去嗎？
Well, all right, but I don't see this as a promising endeavor.
好吧，但我不覺得這管什么用。
Okay, here is the deal. We are going to throw Leonard a kick-ass surprise party for his birthday on saturday.
好吧，事情是這樣的，我們周六給蘭納德辦個超驚喜的生日派對。
I hardly think so. Leonard made it very clear he doesn't want a party. Did someone say... "party"?
我很難同意。蘭納德說的很清楚他不要派對。剛才有人說派對？
He just doesn't know he wants one 'cause he's never had one.
他并不知道自己想要，因為他從沒有過生日派對。
I suppose that's possible, but for the record, I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one.
我想這很有可能，申明一下我從沒玩過3P，但我知道我想要。
Howard, here is the difference. The possibility exists that Leonard could have a birthday party before hell freezes over.
霍華德，這兩者的區別是在地獄冰封之前，蘭納德過生日派對還是有可能的。
Fine. If I do have a threesome, you can't be part of it. I'm just kidding. Yes, you can. Can you bring a friend?
好吧，如果我真的玩3P你不能參加。我開玩笑的，你當然能參加了。能再帶個朋友嗎？
I think a birthday party is a terrible idea. I envy Leonard for growing up without that anguish.
我覺得生日派對是個糟糕的想法，我很羨慕蘭納德成長過程中沒有這種痛苦。
Anguish? Year after year, I had to endure wearing comical hats while being forced into the crowded, sweaty hell of bouncy castles.
痛苦？年復一年我必須強忍戴上滑稽的帽子被迫擠在人群中弄得滿身大汗，
Not to mention being blindfolded and being spun toward a grotesque tailless donkey as the other children mocked my disorientation.
更別提要被蒙上眼睛轉著走向那頭碩大的無尾驢，走錯了方向更要被其他孩子嘲笑。
Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars that no nonprofessional can heal,
好吧，親愛的，我知道你心里的傷一般人治不了，
but, nevertheless, we're going to throw Leonard a birthday party.
但我們仍舊要給蘭納德辦個生日派對。
Have I pointed out that I'm extremely uncomfortable with dancing, loud music and most other forms of alcohol-induced frivolity?
我說過嗎？ 我極度地不喜歡跳舞，吵鬧的音樂以及大多數人在酒后的輕佻行為。
Nevertheless, we're... In addition, I really don't think that Leonard wants... okay, here's the deal: You either you help me throw Leonard a birthday party
雖然如此我們……而且我覺得蘭納德才不會希望……好吧，這樣如何，你要么幫我給蘭納德辦一個生日派對，否則，
or, so help me god, I will go in your droom and unbag all of your most valuable, mint-condition comic books.
我會到你的臥室里把你最珍貴的全新漫畫書都倒出來，
And on one of them--you won't know which--I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink.
在其中你不知道的一本上用墨水在上面畫個迷你笑臉。
You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
你不能那么干，你在新書上做記號就不再是新書了。
Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?
謝爾頓，你腦里有勒索這個概念嗎？
Well, of course, I... oh. Yeah, I have an idea. Let's throw Leonard a kick-ass birthday party.
當然，我……噢。對我有個想法，我們給蘭納德辦個超贊的生日派對。
That's not the secret knock. This is the secret knock.
暗號不對。這是正確的暗號。
What difference does it make?
有什么不同的效果呢？
The whole point of a secret knock is to establish a non-verbal signal to verify the identity of one's co-conspirators.
暗號的精髓在于建立一種非言語的暗號用于查證同謀們的身份。
Is that Raj and howard? Possibly, but unverified.
是Raj和霍華德？有可能，還沒查證。
Will you just let us in.
還打算讓我們進去嗎？
Luckily for you, this is not a nuclear reactor.
你們很幸運，我們不是在核反應堆。
So what'd you get the birthday boy?
你們給壽星準備了什么呢？
Well, Raj got him an awesome, limited edition dark knight sculpture based on alex ross's definitive batman.
Raj給他準備的是非常之棒的限量版黑暗騎士人偶，出自阿歷克斯·羅斯授權的蝙蝠俠。
And I got him this amazing autographed copy of the feynman lectures on physics.
我給他準備的是讓人驚喜的費曼親筆簽名的物理學演講的拷貝。
Nice. I got him a sweater.
不錯嘛。我準備的是一件毛衣。
Okay, well, he might like that. I've seen him get chilly.
他可能會喜歡的，我見他有些怕冷 。
Sheldon, I didn't see your present. That's because I didn't bring one.
謝爾頓，我還沒有看到你的禮物呢。因為我根本沒準備。
Why not? Don't ask.
為什么？ 別問。
The entire institution of gift-giving makes no sense. Too late.
整個俗世的禮尚往來完全沒有意義。又晚了一步。
Let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you.
如果說我出門然后為你花上50美元，
It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need, whereas you know what you need.
這活動很費勁，因為我得想著你需要什么呢？實際上你自己最清楚你需要什么。
Now, I could simplify things--just give you the $50 directly, and then you could give me $50 on my birthday,
那么我何不將事情簡單化直接給你50美元不就行了。今后我的生日你也可以送我50美元嘛。
and so on, until one of us dies, leaving the other one old and $50 richer.
如此禮尚往來，直到有個人離開人世，丟下另外一個多50美元錢的老人。
And I ask you, is it worth it? Told you not to ask.
請問這樣做有意義嗎？說了不要問的嘛。
Well, Sheldon, you're his friend. Friends give each other presents.
謝爾頓，你可是他的朋友呀，朋友們就該是互贈禮物的呀。
I accept your premise; I reject your conclusion.
我同意你的前提，但不認同你的結論。
Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
試試讓他明白這是不可選擇的社交慣例。
What? Just do it.
什么？ 照做就是了
It's a non-optional... social convention.
這是不可選擇的……社交慣例。
Fair enough. He came with a manual.
說的有道理。他是按使用手冊行事的。
Question--how am I going to get Leonard a present before the party?
提問，我怎樣才能在派對前給蘭納德準備禮物呢？
I don't drive and the only things available within walking distance are a thai restaurant and a gas station.
我開不來車，那么步行范圍內唯一可行的就是泰國菜餐館和加油站，
I suppose I could wrap up an order of mee krob and a couple of lottery scratchers.
我想也許我可以帶一份脆炸米粉外加一些即刮彩券。
Okay let's do this--I will drive Sheldon to get a present.
我們這么安排——我載謝爾頓去買禮物，
And Howard, you need to get rid of Leonard for about two hours.
霍華德你得拖住蘭納德大概兩個鐘頭時間，
No problem. And then, Raj, you bring the stuff across the hall and start setting up.
沒問題。然后Raj把這些東西拿到走廊裝飾好。
What if guests show up? Entertain them. What if they're women?
要是客人們來了呢？好好招待。如果是女客人呢？
Stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable.
瞪著她們弄得她們不自在。
Hey! Hey! How is it going? Fine.
嘿！嘿！玩得如何？很好。
So, listen, the New Art is showing the revised definitive cut of Blade Runner. Seen it.
我聽說新藝劇院正在上映銀翼殺手最終剪輯版。看過了。
No, you've seen the 25th anniversary final cut.
不，你看的那是25周年紀念的最終剪輯版本。
This one has eight seconds of previously unseen footage. They say it completely changes the tone of the film. Pass.
這一次有長達八秒的未公映片段，他們說這八秒完全改變了電影的基調。算了吧。
Come on. Afterwards, there's a q & a with Harrison Ford's body double.
不是吧，片尾還有哈里森·福特替身的訪談問答。
Look, I'm in the halo bale of my life here.
看，我正在到了光暈游戲的要緊關頭，
There's this kid in Copenhagen--he has no immune system, so all he does is sit in his bubble and play halo 24-seven.
你這個哥本哈根的孩子——沒有免疫功能，所以他只好整天坐在防菌隔膜里玩光暈游戲。
Can't you play him some other time? Not if you believe his doctors.
你就不能改天和他玩嗎？除非你不相信他的醫生的話。
Oh, my god, do you smell gas? No. Yeah, no.
天啦，你聞到煤氣味了嗎？沒。的確沒有。
You know, they have DVDs over there.
DVD播放機在那邊的。
Yes, but they have DVD burners over here. Leonard needs a DVD burner.
對，但DVD刻錄機在這邊的。蘭納德需要DVD刻錄機的。
Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be something someone needs, it should be something fun.
謝爾頓禮物不是滿足別人需要的，而是充滿快樂的東西。
You know, something they wouldn't buy for themself. You mean like a sweater?
你知道是那些他們不會買給自己的東西。比如說毛衣？
It's a fun sweater. It's got a bold geometric print. Is it the geometry that makes it fun? Okay...
是件充滿樂趣的毛衣，上面印有狂野的幾何圖形。幾何圖形讓它具有了樂趣？好吧，
The point is one of the ways we show we care about people is by putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them.
最重要的是能讓人們體會到我們的關心，通過禮物傳達我們對他們的美好愿望。
