評論
打印
Oh, hi, Penny. Hey, where are you?
嗨，佩妮。嗨，你在哪兒？
I'm, uh, at work. You sound funny.
我，呃……在工作。你聲音很滑稽。
Look. I'm, uh, in a radiation suit. What's up?
我穿著輻射服。怎么了？
Yeah, I'm at work, too, and you'll never guess who's here infecting my entire station.
我也在工作，你絕對猜不到誰在這兒傳染我整個餐廳。
Sheldon's at the cheesecake factory. Just tell him to go home.
謝爾頓在酪餅餐廳。你就叫他回家。
He won't leave. He says he's afraid he'll pass out on the bus, and someone will harvest his organs.
他不會走的，他說他擔心在公車上死掉，會有人收割他的器官。
He's paranoid, and he's established a nest.
他有妄想癥，他都筑好巢了。
Can you please come get him?
你能過來帶他走嗎？
Uh, yeah, I'd be, I'd be happy to, Penny.
好的我……我很樂意佩妮。
Oh, my god, there's a breach in the radiation unit!
天啊，輻射服上有道裂口，
The whole city is in jeopardy! Oh, my god! The containment vessel's melting. Gotta go. Bye!
整座城市都陷入危險了！哦，上帝！核反應堆安全殼在熔化我得掛了拜！
I feel really guilty.
我覺得很內疚。
You did what you had to do.
你做了你該做的。
Take your stinking paws off my popcorn, you damn dirty ape!
你的臭手爪別碰我的爆米花你這個該死的臭猿人。
Thanks for bringing me home.
謝謝你送我回家。
That's okay. I didn't really need to work today. It's not like I have rent or car payments or anything. Good, good.
不客氣。反正我今天不是非得要上班，又不是要急著付房租或是買車什么的。
Okay, well, you feel better.
好了，看來你感覺好多了。
Wait. Where are you going?
等等。你去哪兒？
Um. home. to write some bad checks.
呃回家，開些糟糕的支票。
You're going to leave me?
你要棄我而去？
Hey, Sheldon, you are a grown man. Haven't you ever been sick before?
謝爾頓你已經是成年人了，你以前就沒生病過？
Of course, but not by myself. Really? Never?
當然，但沒有就我一個人。真的嗎？從沒有過？
Well, once, when I was 15 and spending the summer at the Heidelberg institute in Germany.
就一次，那時我15歲，在德國海德爾堡學院過暑假。
Studying abroad? No. Visiting professor.
出國留學？不是，當客座教授。
Anyway, the local cuisine was a little more sausage-based than I'm used to,
總之當地的烹飪風格比我習慣中更依賴于香腸，
and the result was an internal blitzkrieg, with my lower intestine playing the part of Czechoslovakia.
導致我體內遭到突襲，而我的下腸道扮演的就是捷克斯洛伐克。
And there was no-one there to take care of you?
那兒就沒有一個人照顧你？
No. My mom had to fly back to Texas to help my dad, because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again.
沒有，我媽得飛回德州幫我爸爸，因為房子的爐渣磚又掉下來了。
Again? It was tornado season. And it was an aluminum house.
又？當時是颶風季，而且是鋁做的房子。
Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speaking in English.
總之學校宿舍的管理員不會說英語，
And when I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said "Muchtest Du eine Darmspülung?"
當我終于讓她明白我生病時，她說"Muchtest Du eine Darmspülung？"
What does that mean?
什么意思？
Based on what happened next, I assume it means, "would you like an enema?
基于后來發生的事，我猜意思是"你需要灌腸嗎？"
Okay, sweetie. I'll take care of you. What do you need?
好吧親愛的，我來照顧你，你需要些什么？
Well, my mom used to give me sponge baths.
我媽媽常用海綿給我洗澡。
Okay, ground rules: No baths, and definitely no enemas. Agreed.
好吧，先定好規矩 不洗澡，也絕對不灌腸。同意。
Here we go. Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y goodness.
開始啦。十個半小時的猿生活精華之旅。
Oh. Damn it, my glasses. Okay, I'm blind here, guys. Can you help me find them?
哦，該死我的眼鏡呢，我什么都看不見，伙計們能幫我找找嗎？
Found them. Oh, great.
找到了。哦，太好了。
I'm sorry. Don't you have a spare? Yeah. At home.
對不起，你沒備用的嗎？有，在家里。
Well, if you leave now, you can be back before the gorillas rip the crap out of Charlton Heston.
如果你現在走，就能趕在大猩猩把查爾頓·赫斯頓撕爛之前回來。
Unless Sheldon's there, in which case, you'll be trapped forever in his whiny, hyper-neurotic snot web.
萬一謝爾頓在家，那樣你就會被永遠陷于他喋喋不休超級神經質的鼻涕漩渦。
Hi. Penny? Uh, I was just wondering, is Sheldon still at the restaurant?
嗨，佩妮？我想問謝爾頓還在餐廳嗎？
Okay, that was very nice of you.
好的，你真是太好了。
Okay, I gotta go. Got kind of a full-blown Chernobyl thing here. Gotta go. Bye. He's home. I'm screwed.
好了我得掛了，這兒正變成擴大的切爾諾貝利，要掛了，拜。他在家，我完蛋了。
Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y blurriness.
十個半小時的猿生活混沌之旅。
How about lasik?
做激光手術怎么樣？
You want me to get eye surgery?
你想讓我做眼部手術？
Would you rather go back to the apartment and deal with Sheldon, or have a stranger carve out your corneas with a laser beam?
你是愿意回公寓面對謝爾頓還是愿意讓你的角膜來次陌生的激光束開拓之旅？
Well? I'm thinking.
怎樣？我正在想。
Okay, nice and cozy. Okay? I'll see you later.
好的，非常舒適，好嗎？我待會來看你。
Wait. Will you please rub this on my chest?
等等，你能幫我把這個擦在胸部嗎？
Oh, Sheldon, can't you do that yourself?
謝爾頓你不能自己擦嗎？
Vaporub makes my hands smell funny.
傷風膏會把我手的味道弄得怪怪的。
But, Sheldon. please, please, please, please, please?
可是謝爾頓……求你了求你了求你了。
I can't believe I'm doing this.
真不敢相信我竟然做這個。
No, no. Counterclockwise, or my chest hair mats.
不，逆時針擦，不然我的胸毛會纏一塊兒的。
Sorry! Can you sing "soft kitty"?
不好意思啊！你能唱“乖乖貓”嗎？
What? My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick.
什么？我生病時媽媽總唱給我聽。
Oh, sorry, honey. I don't know it. I'll teach you.
抱歉親愛的，我不知道這歌。我教你。
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr. Now you.
乖乖貓軟軟貓小小毛絨球，快樂貓，瞌睡貓，喵喵喵。該你了。
Soft kitty, warm kitty... little ball of fur. keep rubbing. Little ball of fur.
乖乖貓，軟軟貓 小小毛絨球，繼續擦。小小毛絨球。
What do you see what do you see? I can't,
你能看到什么東西？不能，
The living room appears to be empty.
客廳看來沒人。
Ok. He must be in his bedroom. My spare glasses are in my bedroom, on my dresser, next to my bat signal.
他肯定在臥室。備用眼鏡在我臥室梳妝臺上蝙蝠俠標志旁邊。
I'm not going in there.
我又不去。
Raj? No way, jose.
Raj？沒門伙計。
But I can't do it. I can't see anything.
但我做不到，我什么都看不見。
It's all right. Wireless minicam and bluetooth headset. We'll be your eyes.
沒關系，無線攝像頭和藍牙耳機，我們就是你的雙眼。
One more thing. This is a subsonic impact sensor.
還有一件事，這是一個次音速效果的傳感器，
If Sheldon gets out of bed and starts to walk, this device will register it and send a signal to the laptop. At that point,
如果謝爾頓下床并開始走路，這個設備會立刻記入并將信號傳到電腦，那個時候，
based on the geography of the apartment and the ambulatory speed of a sick Sheldon, you'll have seven seconds to get out, glasses or no glasses.
基于房間的地理情況和病人謝爾頓的步行速度，你將有七秒的時間離開，不管有沒有眼鏡。
Won't my footsteps set it off?
我的腳步不會觸發它嗎？
No. You'll be on your hands and knees.
不會，你得靠爬的。
Now, you'll need to get the sensor as close as you can to Sheldon's room.
現在你得把傳感器放到離謝爾頓盡可能近的地方。
Look, how do I carry it if I'm on my hands and knees?
我用手和雙膝爬，那怎么帶著它？
Stay low. Bear left. Now keep true.
壓低點。前進，保持正前方。
What? It means go straight.
什么？意思是"筆直走"。
Then just say go straight.
那就直接說筆直走。
You don't say "go straight." When you're giving bearings, you say, keep true. All right.
當你指引方向時你不說筆直走，而要說"保持正前方"。好吧。
I just hit my head.
我剛撞到頭了。
Because you didn't keep true.
因為你沒有保持正前方。
Okay, turn right. The, the picture is breaking up.
好，向右轉。圖像在晃。
Angle your head to the right.
頭的角度轉向右方。
Now, a little more.
現在，再向右些。
Little more. That's it. Now, just keep true.
再向右點。好了保持正前方。
All right, you're close enough to Sheldon's room. Deploy the sensor.
好了你離謝爾頓房間夠近了，部署好傳感器。
Now, turn it on.
把它打開。
It wasn't on? No.
它沒打開？沒有。
Then why did I have to crawl?
那我干嘛要爬？
No, I guess you didn't.
哦，我想你用不著。
Okay, it's on. Good. From this point forward, you will have to crawl. I know.
好吧，打開了。很好，從現在起你必須要爬了。我知道。
Hang on. The sensor is picking up something. Turn your head back.
等等，傳感器捕捉到什么東西了，回頭。
You rat bastard.
你個混蛋。
Told you the sensor would work.
告訴過你傳感器有用的。
Hi. You deliberately stuck me with Sheldon.
嗨。你故意把我和謝爾頓鎖在一起。
Come on, I had to. You see what he's like?
拜托，我不得已，你看見他什么樣了？
Penny? Penny, I'm hungry.
佩妮？佩妮，我餓了。
Uh, it's okay, sweetie. Good news! Leonard is home! No!
好親愛的，好消息！蘭納德回來了！不！
Here you go. Good luck. Bye. Oh, Wait, wait.
交給你了祝你好運拜。哦，等等。
Leonard! I'm hungry! Wait. Penny, take me with you!
蘭納德！我餓了！等等，佩妮，帶我一起走！
I want grilled cheese.
我想要烤干酪。
Do you think Penny will come here and take care of us?
你覺得佩妮會過來照顧我們嗎？
I don't think Penny's ever coming here again.
我認為佩妮再也不會來這兒了。
I'm very congested. Yeah? So?
我鼻塞的厲害。那又怎樣？
Could you go to the kitchen and get me the turkey baster labeled "mucous"?
你能去廚房把標有"分泌黏液"的膠頭滴管給我嗎？
If I stand, I'll vomit. Under the sink, yellow Tupperware bowl.
我站起來會惡心。吐在水槽下面的黃色塔伯牌碗里。
