評論
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So you see, what you're eating is not technically yogurt, because it doesn't have enough live acidophilus cultures.
知道了吧，你吃的這個不算是真的酸奶酪，因為里面沒有足夠的活的嗜酸培養菌。
It's really just ice milk with carrageenan added for thickness.
只不過是冰牛奶里加了點角叉膠增加粘稠度。
Oh, very interesting. It's also not pink and has no berries.
喔，真有意思哈。它也不真是粉紅色，也沒有天然漿果粒。
Yeah, but it doesn't really answer my question.
嗯，可這也沒有回答我的問題吶。
What was your question again?
你問的啥問題？
Do you want some? Right. No. I'm lactose intolerant. Right. So, gas. Yeah, got it.
你要來點兒不？對對...不用了，我受不了乳糖的。對哦。吃了會放屁的。好吧明白了。
Well...good night.
那么... 晚安了。
What are you doing? Oh, there's a draft.
你這是做什么呢？哦，那邊有陣風。
I didn't feel a draft.
我沒覺得有風啊。
Why don't we just go into, uh, your...
那我們還是去... 你的...
Yeah, you know what, maybe we should slow things down a little. No, no, I didn't mean to go into your apartment to go fast.
我說，也許我們不該那么著急。不，我不是說要去你公寓去急著干嘛干嘛。
No, I know. I know what you meant, it's just...this is only our first date.
當然了，我知道，我知道你不是那意思，只是...這才是咱倆第一次約會。
Yeah, okay, sure, no problem. Why don't we just figure out where we're going and when we want to get there, and then rate of speed equals distance over time. Solve for R.
嗯，好啊，沒問題，那我們就先想想下次要去哪兒，準備啥時候到那兒，這樣距離除以時間就......知道速度。
Or we could just wing it.
我們也可以到時候再想嘛。
That might work, too. Good night, Leonard. Good night.
那沒準也行。晚安 Leonard 晚安
He's coming screen saver! Oh, hey, Leonard. How was your date?
他來了，快上屏保！嘿，蘭納德，約會怎么樣哇？
Bite me. Sheldon, how could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
要你管。謝爾頓，你怎么能傻坐著眼睜睜看他們監視我呢？
They were clever, Leonard. They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing.
他們精明啊蘭納德，他們完全明白我對你那些破事兒一點興趣沒有。
You should thank us.
你還該謝謝我們呢，
When future generations try to determine why your relationship with Penny crashed and burned, this right here is the black box.
要是后來人想弄明白你和佩妮的戀情為啥會土崩瓦解，這玩意兒就是黑匣子吶！
What are you talking about? The date went fine.
你胡說什么，約會挺好的。
Dude, she said she wants to slow things down.
拜托，她都說了想要慢慢來。
Okay, so she said she wants to slow things down.
好吧，她是說了想要慢慢來。
It's like saying, "I'm really enjoying this meal. I'm going to slow down and savor it."
意思差不多就是“今天的晚餐我非常喜歡，我得慢慢來，好好回味一下”
No, it's like, "This fish tastes bad, so I'm gonna slow down and spit it out."
不，她的意思像是：“這魚真難吃死了，我得慢慢來吐光了它”
You being the fish. I'm not the fish.
這臭魚說的就是你！我才不是這臭魚呢。
Oh, really? Did you make a second date?
真的？你倆定了下一次約會嗎？
Well, no, we sort of decided to wing it. Oh, even I know that's lame.
這倒沒有... 我們說好了到時候再想。得了吧，連我都覺得這太遜了。
Okay, all right, let's assume your hypothesis.
行啊，咱就說說你的假設，
We went to dinner, we talked, we laughed, we kissed. Where could I have possibly gone wrong?
我們一起去吃飯，有說有笑有吻有抱，這還能錯到哪兒去??？
Think back, Leonard. The littlest things can set women off. Like,
你好好想想蘭納德，再小的事情都能讓女人爆發。比方說，
"Hey, the waitress is hot, I bet we could get her to come home with us.
“嘿，這服務生真辣，我打賭肯定能讓她跟咱回家”，
"Or, "How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what I'm getting into."
或者“你媽媽有多重吶？我想知道我搭上的是啥樣的妞兒?！?/div>
I didn't say anything like that. Good, cause they don't work.
這種話我才不會說。不錯，因為那些不起作用。
They also don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate.
她們也不關心你是不是盯著她們呼吸加速，
Sadly, that's my home run swing.
挺慘的。在我們家這就像是家族傳統
Look, everything went fine.
我說，一切都挺好的，
I didn't even have to refer to my impromptu conversation starters.
連事先準備的一些開場白都沒用到呢，
That woman across the hall is into me. Let's go to the tape.
走廊對面那個女孩就是喜歡我嘛。咱還是看帶子吧。
Look at her reaction to the good night kiss. No change in respiration, pupils undilated, no flushing of the chest.
你瞧她吻別時的反應，呼吸平穩，瞳孔沒有放大，胸口也沒有起伏。
Nice close up, by the way.
這特寫鏡頭拍的真贊。
Interesting. Her jaws are clenched: no tongue access. Clearly a bad sign amongst mating humans.
有意思嘿，她的下巴很緊，也沒有用舌頭。對于尋偶期的人類來說這可不是啥好消息。
That's not a bad sign, Please. You might as well have been two iguana with no dewlap enlargement.
這怎么就不是好消息了。得了吧，還不如說你們是兩只鬣蜥只是喉部沒有垂肉罷了。
And the worst sign of all is you're here and not there.
最糟的就是這會兒你不在她家而在這里！
I'm not there because I'm taking things slow, which, by the way, compared to you guys, approaches warp speed.
我不在她家因為我也決定慢慢來這個...跟你們比起來都快接近星際速度了。
And take down that camera.
快把攝像頭給我撤了。
He was a lot more fun when he had no hope. Give him time.
他心里沒牽沒掛的時候真有意思多了。給他點時間吧。
Hi. Oh, hi, Penny.
你好啊佩妮。
FYI, the hot water is inadequate on machine two, so colors only, and four is still releasing the fabric softener too early in the cycle, so I'd avoid using that for your delicates. Thanks.
順便說句，2號機器的熱水不足，別深色淺色混著洗，4號機器呢洗衣程序中還是會提前放出織物柔順劑。所以你那些精致的衣服還是別用那臺了。謝了
Oh, good Lord...why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock?
老天爺啊...你還不如把衣服拿到河邊擱在石頭上猛捶一陣。
Sheldon, can I ask you a question?
謝爾頓，我問你個問題行不？
I would prefer that you not, but I won't go so far as to forbid it.
我寧愿你不問，但是我不會阻止你的。
All right, I heard yes, so...
那... 我就當你同意了。
Okay, here's my question. Has Leonard ever dated, you know, a regular girl?
我想問問你，蘭納德以前有沒有，跟正常的女孩子約會過？
Well, I assume you're not referring to digestive regularity.
我想你指的應該不是消化功能正常吧。
Because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate.
要是那樣的話，我想這問題問的不合適。
No, I meant, has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
我是說他有沒有跟沒那么大學問的女孩子談過？
Well, a few years ago, he did go out with a woman who had a PhD in French literature.
幾年前，他確實跟一個學法國文學的女博士約會過。
How is that not a brainiac?
這還不算有大學問？
Well, for one thing, she was French. For another, it was literature.
理由一她是法國人，理由二她讀的是文學。
So...do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating, he'll eventually get bored with me?
那你覺得...如果我和蘭納德繼續好下去，他會不會有一天覺得我很沒勁啊？
That depends. On what?
那得看情況。什么情況？
Do you have a working knowledge of quantum physics? No.
你懂量子物理嗎？不懂
Do you speak Klingon? No.
你會說克林貢語嗎？不會。
You know any card tricks? Okay, you know what...
你會耍牌嗎？行了，我說...
I get it. Leonard has no business being involved with a waitressslashactress who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college.
我明白了，蘭納德和一個服務員兼二流演員沒有共同語言，而且她還騙他說上完了社區大學心里正發慌呢。
Why would you lie about that?
你為什么撒謊？
Well, he was going on and on about this college and that grad school, and I...I didn't want him to think I was some kind of stupid loser.
他總是在說這大學怎樣，那個研究生院怎么樣，我就...我不想讓他覺得我很傻很衰嘛。
You thought the opposite of "stupid loser" was "community college graduate"?
你覺得“愚蠢的失敗者”的反義詞是“社區大學畢業生”？
You know, there are a lot of successful people in this country who are community college graduates.
很多成功人士都是從社區大學畢業的。
Yeah, but you are neither.
沒錯，可你哪個都挨不上邊。
Right. Okay, look, this is between you and me. You cannot tell Leonard any of this.
對。好吧，你得替我保密，啥也不要告訴蘭納德
You're asking me to keep a secret? Yeah.
你要我保守秘密？是的。
Well, I'm sorry, but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret, so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret keeping.
那真對不起了，你應該在說出秘密前表達出要我保密的意思，我好選擇到底要不要替你保密。
You can't impose a secret on an expost face to basis. What?
你事后再說，這怎么行呢？什么？
Secret keeping is a complicated endeavor.
保守秘密是一項艱巨復雜的任務。
One has to be concerned not only about what one says, but about facial expressions, autonomic reflexes.
不但要注意說的話，還得注意面部表情，習慣性反應。
When I try to deceive, I myself have more nervous tics than a Lyme disease research facility.
我說謊的時候，因為緊張產生的扁虱比萊姆關節炎研究設備產生的還多。
It's a joke. It relies on the homonymic relationship between "tick,"the bloodsucking arachnid, and "tic," the involuntary muscular contraction.
這是笑話，同音詞嘛"tick"是指吸血蜘蛛，而"tic"是無意識的肌肉痙攣。
I made it up myself.
我自己編的。
Okay, look, if Leonard finds out that I lied, I will absolutely die of embarrassment.
聽著，如果蘭納德發現我說謊，我一定羞愧自盡了。
Physiologically impossible. Oh, Sheldon, please. Look, I am asking you as a friend.
生理學上講是不可能的。哦謝爾頓，拜托，我是以朋友的名義請求你。
So you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences? Well, yeah.
照你這么說，友誼就要無條件的保守秘密？是啊。
Interesting. One more question, and perhaps I should have led with this. When did we become friends?
有意思。再一個問題，或許應該這樣問，我們什么時候成朋友了？
i. e. , I couldn't become Green Lantern unless I was chosen by the Guardians of Oa, but given enough startup capital and an adequate research facility, I could be Batman.
也就是說，要不被總部守護先知選中，我就成不了綠燈俠，但如果給我足夠的啟動資金和足夠的科研設備，我就能成為蝙蝠俠
You could be Batman? Sure. I'm Batman. See?
你能成為蝙蝠俠？當然，我就是蝙蝠俠，看見沒？
Hi, guys. Hi, Penny.
嗨伙計們。嗨佩妮。
Penny, if you're not doing anything Friday night, I thought maybe we could go see a movie.
佩妮，你周五晚上有空的話，我們去看電影吧。
Oh, um, you know, I think I have the dinner shift on Friday.
呃，我周五晚上要輪班。
Okay, what about Saturday?
好吧，周六呢？
You know, I'm not sure; the manager hasn't posted the schedule yet. How about I let you know?
說不準，經理還沒公布排班表呢，出來了我再告訴你？
Great. So you just let me know when you know.
很好，那你知道了就告訴我。
Okay, so... Oh, God, I am the bad fish. What did I do wrong?
好的那...天吶我就是那條臭魚。我哪做錯了？
Why are you asking me?
你為什么問我？
I have no information about your interactions with Penny other than what you have provided me, nor do I have any method of learning such things.
你和佩妮的事兒除了你已經告訴我的，我啥也不知道，我也沒有本事學到。
What does that mean? Nothing.
這話什么意思？沒什么。
You seem to be implying an informational back channel between me and Penny where obviously none exists. No, I didn't.
你說的倒像是我和佩妮背地里通了氣，很明顯這是沒有的事。沒，我沒覺得。
I just think you need to be careful how you phrase things, sir.
我想你要注意你的表達了先生。
What's going on with you? I might ask you the same question.
你怎么回事？這問題我也得問問你吧。
Why do you insist on attempting to drag me into matters which have nothing to do with me, but exist between you and Penny, a person to whom I barely speak?
那些跟我無關的事兒你何必非要把我扯進去？都是你和陪你之間的事，我跟她連話都不怎么說的。
What's wrong with your face?
你臉怎么了？
There's no reason to bring my looks into this.
我臉這樣沒啥原因。
Good day, Leonard. What? I said,"Good day."
祝你今天過的愉快蘭納德。什么？我說 "祝你今天過的愉快"
