Take your body down to the potty**To have some fun and go number one
乖乖坐到馬桶上**一起噓噓樂趣多
What is this filth? I tried everything, videos, books, parenting websites.
這都是些什么啊?我什么都試過了視頻 、書籍、 家教網(wǎng)站。
I even tried to make a game out of it. Nothing could get that kid to use the toilet.
我連改編游戲都試過了。還是沒辦法讓這孩子學(xué)會用馬桶。
By the way, do not search "Peeing games" on the internet.
另外,千萬別在網(wǎng)上搜索"尿尿游戲"。
Okay, Joe, what's it gonna be? I'm a wealthy man. Just give me a number.
喬,你想要什么?我不缺錢。告訴我你要多少。
Seven. I just found out that's how old I was when I learned to tie my shoes. Not 2, like I was told.
七。我剛剛發(fā)現(xiàn)原來我七歲才學(xué)會系鞋帶。不是你告訴我的兩歲。
Okay, please, Manny.
曼尼,別這樣。
I might have exaggerated a little bit, but I do that all the time. Columbia actually is a very normal place.
我可能是夸張了點,但我一直都這樣。哥倫比亞其實是個很正常的國家。
My accomplishments are all lies.
我的成就都是假的。
I can only deal with one traumatized child at a time.
我一次只能安慰一個受傷的孩子。
Please, Jay, let that poor baby off the toilet.
杰,放過那可憐的孩子吧。
Okay, new plan-- we leave him on the throne till he conks out, then we dunk his hand in a bowl of warm water--
新計劃...我們就讓他待在這里直到他昏睡過去,然后把他的手放進(jìn)一碗溫水里...
That's crazy. You know that you can't rush these things.
你瘋了。你知道這種事急不來的。
You did it before with Claire and with Mitch.
撫養(yǎng)克萊爾和米奇時你經(jīng)歷過的。
I don't think he did, mom.
我不這么認(rèn)為。
Yes, he did, right?
他經(jīng)歷過,對吧?
Well, I was a little busy building a closet empire. And racquetball was pretty big back then.
我忙著建立自己的衣柜帝國。當(dāng)時又很流行壁球。
Maybe that's why this is so important to you.
也許這就是為何你如此看中此事。
You missed so many milestones in their lives, you don't want to miss them with Joe.
你錯過了他們?nèi)松械闹匾A段,你不想在喬的身上也發(fā)生這種事。
This is your second chance. But don't worry, Jay. He knows you love him.
這是你的第二次機(jī)會。別擔(dān)心,杰,他知道你愛他。
I'd like him to remember that I'm there for him. I mean, who knows if I'll get another chance.
我想讓他知道我一直在他身邊。誰知道我還有沒有第二次機(jī)會。
I know. You won't.
我知道你不會的。