評論
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Man, this is weird. Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
哥們，這好詭異。你知不知道嘎吱上尉（麥片品牌）的眉毛長到了帽子上？
That's what's weird? Joey the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
那叫詭異？喬伊，那家伙當麥片的上尉已經四十年了
What? The spoon! You licked and you put? You licked and you put?
怎樣？湯匙！你舔完放回去？舔完放回去？
Yeah, so? Don't you see how gross that is? I mean It's like you using my toothbrush!
嗯，所以呢？你看不出那很惡心嗎？我是說就好像你用我的牙刷一樣
You used my toothbrush? That was only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.
你用過我的牙刷？那是因為我用紅的那只去通排水孔嘛。
Mine is the red one!
紅色的是我的！
Oh, God! Can open. Worms everywhere!
上帝啊，罐頭一打開，蟲子就滿處爬了（一發不可收拾）
Why can't we use the same toothbrush...but we can use the same soap?
為什么牙刷不能共用……肥皂就可以共用？
Because soap is soap. It's selfcleaning.
因為肥皂是肥皂，會自我清潔。
All right. When next time you take a shower...think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
好吧，下一次你洗澡的時候……想想我最后洗的和你最先洗的。
Look at you fancy lads! What's the occasion?
瞧你們打扮的。有什么大事？
You know that guy on my show that's in a coma? He's having a brunch.
記得我的電視劇里那個演昏迷不醒的人嗎？他要請我吃早午餐。
Ready when you are. Okay
就等你了。好的。
I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
我真不敢相信你們真的要去刺青了。
Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos? Yes, but you cannot tell Ross cause I wanna surprise him.
你們要去刺青？對，不過你不能告訴羅斯，我要給他一個驚喜。
Wow, this is wild! What are you gonna get?
哇哦，好狂野哦！你們要刺什么？
Umm, I'm getting a lily. For my mom, because her name's Lily.
我要刺一朵百合。因為我媽就叫莉莉（百合）。
That's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?
真幸運。她要是叫大污點怎么辦？
So where you getting it? I think on my shoulder.
那你們要刺哪里？我想在我肩上。
What? What's on your shoulder? A chip.
什么？什么在你肩上？一個碎片。
I've got a big attitude problem. A tattoo. I'm getting a tattoo.
我有很嚴重的態度問題。是刺青，我要去刺青啦。
A tattoo? Why? Why would you wanna do that?
刺青？為什么？你為什么要那么做？
Hey, you don't think they're kind of cool?
嘿，你不覺得那有點酷嗎？
No. Sorry, I don't. I mean why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life?
不，抱歉，我不覺得。怎么會有人花錢去搞個一輩子的傷痕？
What if it doesn't come out right pheebs? It's like having a bad haircut all the time.
萬一要是刺得不好呢？那不就像一個一直丑的發型嗎
Why is everyone staring at me?
大家為什么都瞪著我？
Ross can you sign this birthday card for Dad? Richard can be here any minute.
羅斯，過來簽給爸的生日卡，理查隨時會到。
Richard's going to the party too? He's my parents' best friend. He has to be there.
理查也要去參加派對？他是我父母最好的朋友，他必須去。
So is today the day you'll tell them about you two?
那你打算今天告訴他們你們的事嗎？
Yeah, for my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
對，我爸的生日，我決定給他打個馬虎眼。
No, I think you should tell them.
不，我覺得你應該告訴他們。
No, I don't know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I am not telling them anything.
我還不知道他對我有多認真。在搞清楚之前，我什么也不說。
I don't know. I don't think mom and dad would mind.
我不知道，我想他們不會介意。
Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say..."God, I hope they get together."
記得你九歲，理查三十歲的時候，爸常說……“天啊 真希望他們在一起”。
Hello? It's me, I'm doubleparked,
喂？是我，我在違章停車。
Okay. Come on, Ross. Bye guys. See you.
好的，快點，羅斯 再見。再見
Bye, you. Bye. Bye, you!
再見 再見 再見啦，你！
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Okay, wait, wait. It's gonna be fine How can you say that? Are you not nervous? .
來，來，來。等等，等等。沒事的 你怎么能這么說？你不緊張嗎？
I'm terrified. This is just a very absorbent suit.
我很恐懼，這是件吸收性很強的外套。
Shall we? Yes
可以進了嗎？是的。
No, you know what? Ross, let's switch places. You get in the middle.
不行，你知道嗎？羅斯，我們換位置，你來站中間。
You know unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
除非這看起來像我們想隱瞞什么。
Monica Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it.
莫妮卡，就算你騎著他進去，他們也不會相信的。
We're here! Hi, kids! Hi darling! The children!
我們來了！嗨 孩子們！嗨，親愛的！是孩子們。
Happy birthday, Dad. Thank you. Happy birthday!
生日快樂，爸爸。謝謝。生日快樂！
So you kids thanked Dr. Burke for the ride?
你們謝過柏克大夫載你們來了嗎？
Actually, Mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
媽，事實上，莫妮卡幫我們兩個謝過了。
So you kids take the train in?
你們搭火車來嗎？
No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
不，理查柏克載他們來的。
Speaking of whom...I hear he's got some 20yearold twinkie in the city.
談到他呀……聽說，他在城里有個二十歲的年幼女友。
Finger cramp! Oh, God! Sorry. Here, let me get that, Mom.
手指抽筋！哦天哪！抱歉，來，讓我來，媽。
So Richard's shopping in the junior section?
理查在青少年部“購物”？
Are we still on that?
我們還在講那個嗎？
You just know she's got the lQ of a napkin. She's probably not even pretty. Just young enough so that everything is still pointing up.
想也知道她的智商一定超低。說不定連漂亮都談不上只是夠年輕，所以一切都還沒下垂。
Can you believe this place? I know. This is a great apartment.
你能相信這個地方嗎？我知道，這個公寓很棒。
I was just In the bathroom and these mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there, it's like you are peeing with the Rockettes.
我剛去過浴室，兩邊墻上都有鏡子。尿尿的時候，就好像跟火箭女郎舞蹈團（一排人做同一個動作一起尿尿）
Well, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously.
我的夢想實現了。別鬧，說真的。
Hey! We were just saying, great apartment, man! Thanks. You want it?
嘿！我們剛說到，很棒的公寓，老兄！謝了，你要嗎？
Yeah, I'm moving to a bigger place. You should definitely take this one.
是的，我要搬去一個更大的。你真的應該租下來。
Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?
你看我會住這種地方嗎？
Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings? Come on, I'll show you the kitchen.
有何不可呢？你討厭公園景觀跟高天花板嗎？來吧，我帶你去看廚房。
That's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning. On TV.
不用了，兄弟們我今早看過一個廚房……在電視上。
Stop talking. Okay!
別說了，好嗎？
Come on, tell us! ls she really 20?
來嘛，告訴我們吧。她真的只二十嗎？
I am not telling you guys anything.
我什么也不會告訴你們的。
Come on Richard, it's my birthday. Let me live vicariously!
得了，理查，今天是我生日。讓我也感同深受一下嘛。
Dad, you really don't want to do that.
爸，你不會想聽那個的。
What's a little midlife crisis between friends? Would you let it go?
跟朋友分享一下你的中年危機嘛。我們能別談這個話題嗎？
Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50, I got the Porsche. You got your own little speedster.
嘿，我了解你在做什么，我五十歲買了部保時捷，而你有了自己的小“加速器”。
Guys, seriously, it's not like that.
各位，說真的，不是那樣的。
Tell you what. Maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could...Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence!
這樣吧。或許找個周末，我把車子借給你，而你的小…… 爸，我求你不要說完那個句子。
What? I'm kidding! You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
怎么了？我在開玩笑！我才不會讓他碰我的保時捷。
Okay, Rach. Which lily? This lily or that lily?
阿秋，哪一朵百合？這一朵還是那一朵？
Well, l. . I like this lily. It's more open and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Foghorn Leghorn!
我… 我喜歡這朵。它開得更大，就像我媽。她有比較開放給予的精神。來亨雞福亨！（華納動畫中的搞笑公雞）
Hi, blonde girl? You're in room two. Notsoblonde girl, you're with me.
金發女孩，你去第二間。沒那么金的，你跟我來。
Here we go! Uhuh.
走吧！嗯哼。
You're not going? Uhuh.
你不進去？嗯哼。
What? Is this because of what Ross said? No, well, yeah, maybe. I don't believe this.
怎么了？是因為羅斯的話嗎？是啦，或許。我真不敢相信。
Is this how this relationship gonna work? Ross equals boss? I mean, come on, what is this, 1922?
你們的關系這樣維持嗎？羅斯是老板？拜托，這算什么？現在是1922年嗎？
What's 1922? Just, you know, a long time ago. When men used to tell women what to do a lot.
1922年有什么？只是很久以前嘛。是男人總是命令女人做事的時代
And then there was suffrage, which was a good thing. But it sounds horrible.
然后還有投票權，那是件好事，但聽起來很可怕。
Do you wanna get this tattoo?
你到底要不要刺？
Yes, I do. It's just that Ross says...Okay, hey, hey! Is your boyfriend the boss of you? No
我要啊，只是羅斯他…… 噢，嘿，嘿！你男友是你的老板嗎？不是。
Okay, who is the boss of you? You?
那好，誰是你的老板？你？
No, you are the boss of you! And you march in there and get that heart tattoo on your hip! Go!
不，你是自己的老板！你現在大步走進去，把那顆紅心給我刺到后面去！走！
I haven't even gotten my tattoo and I'm already tougher.
我還沒做刺青呢，就已經強硬起來了。
How you doing? I'm a twinkie!
你怎么了？我是年輕小妞！
Really? I'm a hero.
真的嗎？我是英雄。
This is so hard. Yeah, I know. I hate it too.
這好難哦。是呀，我知道，我也討厭這樣。
Look, maybe we should just tell them.
也許我們應該直接告訴他們。
Maybe we should just tell your parents first. My parents are dead.
也許我們應該先告訴你父母。我父母死了。
God, you are so lucky! I mean, well, you know what I mean. I know. I know.
天哪，你真幸運！不，我是說……你懂我意思。我懂，我懂。
Just hang in there, okay? Okay, I'll go out first, all right?
忍耐一下，好嗎？我先出去，好嗎？
Judy! Going to the bathroom. Good for you!
茱蒂，上洗手間呀，干得漂亮！
Thank you, Richard. I appreciate the support.
謝謝，理查，很感激你的支持。
Honey. Had you seen my Harmon Killebrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
親愛的，你有沒有看到我的哈蒙奇歐球棒？鮑勃不相信我有。
I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
我不知道。你知道理查在城里有個小女友嗎？
I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
我知道，他好像變了個人，像電影《魔繭》里的情節一樣 （一群養老院的老人因為一個天外來客而變得重新年輕）
I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
我只是永遠也想象不出理查跟一個蕩婦在一起是什么樣。
Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl.
顯然他告訴強尼那個女孩不錯。
In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
事實上，他告訴強尼他覺得自己愛上她了。
Really? I tell you I've never seen him this happy.
真的？告訴你，我沒見他這么快樂過。
So, Jack...you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
杰克……你有沒有想過拿我去換個年輕模特？
Of course not. With you, it's like I've got two 25yearolds.
當然沒有。和你在一起，就像跟兩個25的在一起。
Oh, Jack, stop! Come on! It's my birthday!
杰克，住手！來嘛！今天是我生日！
Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
我們別說這個了，好嗎？我對那家伙的公寓沒興趣。
Oh, please. I saw the way you were checking out his moldings. You want it.
拜托，我看到你檢查他房子裝飾的樣子。你想要它。
Why would I want another apartment? I've already got an apartment that I love.
我干嘛要另外一個公寓？我已經有個我喜歡的公寓了。
Well, it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
是嘛，偶爾這樣說說又不會死。
All right. You want the truth? I'm thinking about it.
好吧，想聽實話嗎？我的確在考慮。
What? I'm sorry. I'm 28. I've never lived alone...and I'm finally at a place where I got enough money...that I don't need a roommate anymore.
什么？－抱歉。我今年28了 從沒自己住過……而我終于賺到足夠的錢……可以讓我不再需要室友。
I don't need a roommate either. I can afford to live here by myself.
我也不需要室友啊。自己住這里我也負擔得起。
I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
我或許一個禮拜 得請一次人來舔我的銀餐具。
What you getting so bent out of shape for? It's not we are agree to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
你火氣干嘛那么大？我們又沒說要永遠住在一起。我們又不是伯特和厄尼（《芝麻街》中住在一起的動畫角色）。
I'm aware that we're not gay puppets, all right?
我明白到我們不是同志戀人，好嗎？
Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel...then maybe you should take it.
知道嗎？如果你這樣覺得……那或許你應該搬去。
Well that's how I feel. Then maybe you should take it!
我是那樣覺得 那或許你應該搬去！
Well then maybe I will! Fine with me! Great!
那或許我會。無所謂！很好！
Then you are able to spend more quality time with your real friends...the spoons!
這樣你就有時間跟你真正的朋友在一起了！…你的湯匙！
Whose drink can I freshen?
誰還要再喝點？
Almost time for cake!
要切蛋糕了。
Mon, are you okay?
莫妮卡？你還好嗎？
You remember that video I found of Mom and Dad? Yeah. Well, I just caught the live show.
記得我發現爸媽的那卷錄影帶嗎？記得啊。我剛看了現場秀。
