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Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
這是他放尿不濕的袋子…跟他的眨眼先生。還有…他，嗨！
So how did everything go?
一切都還好嗎？
Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
好，都很好。我們有個噴射性…嘔吐事件，不過是他先挑起來的。
Well, we've gotta go. Ok.
我們得走了哦。好。
...Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us.
咳咳...對了，我有個消息，是關于我們的。
Oh, you and me?
你跟我？
Uh, no, Susan and me.
不，蘇珊跟我。
The other us.
另一個“我們”。
Ok.
好。
We're uh, we're getting married.
我們要結婚了。
As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
就像“我現在宣布，你們成為妻子跟妻子”的“結婚”？
Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to.
我們非常歡迎你來，若你不想來，我們也完全了解。
Yeah. Well, why wouldn't I wanna come? I had fun at the first wedding.
我為什么會不想去呢？第一次跟你的婚禮上我玩兒的很開心。
Look, I just thought that...
只是我覺得也許因為我們…
No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? You know? I mean, what would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm reveling baby, believe me!
不…我是說… 我為什么不該替你高興呢？…如果我不能為你的快樂而快樂，那我算什么呢？我說的是真的，相信我！
Isis your finger caught in that chair?
你的手指被椅子夾住了嗎？
Mmm hmmm.
嗯哼。
Want us to go?
想要我們離開嗎？
Uhhuh.
嗯哼。
This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television.
好酷耶，你真的要在電視上出現了。
I know. It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of Our Lives. And then I started thinking about all of us, and how these are the days of our lives. .
我知道，我昨晚才真正的意識到我要在“我們的日子”里面演出了。然后我開始想我們的事，我發現這正是“我們的日子”。
Yes!
哦耶！
What?
怎么了？
Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
幫卡蘿跟蘇珊辦喜宴的人，這個周末騎登山車出了車禍…全身都上了石膏。
Yes!
哦耶！
They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
他們要我辦喜宴，太酷了。我從來沒有辦過這個…而且我很需要錢，你沒意見吧？
Would it matter?
這又不會改變什么？
Oh, you are so great! Thank you!
你太棒了！謝謝！
Are you really not going?
你真的不去嗎？
I am really not going. I mean, I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
我當然真的不去。我不懂她們已經住在一起了，為什么還需要結婚？
Because they love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
因為她們相愛啊。她們要跟她們親密的人，一起慶祝那份愛。
If you wanna call that a reason.
如果你硬要說，那也算個理由的話。
Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.
誰是客廳里最苦的人？客廳里最苦的男人？嗨，鄰居。
Ross, I thought you were over this.
羅斯，我以為你不在意了。
Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my exwife. Ifif she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
那跟這個沒有關系，她是我前妻。要是嫁了一個男的話，你們不會希望我去。
Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
她要是嫁了個男的話，她就成了史上最爛的同性戀了。
Did I miss it? Did I miss it?
我錯過了嗎？
No no, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.
還沒有，這個家伙自殺之后，我就上場了。
Whoa, she is pretty.
她很漂亮耶。
Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about, you know, how to work with the cameras, and smellthefart acting.
對了，她人也很好。她教我怎么樣在鏡頭前演戲…還有“聞屁”演戲大法。
Huh. I'm sorry, what? Excuse me?
對不起？什么？
Smellthefart acting.
“聞屁”演戲大法。
It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one.
在短時間之內，要記那么多的臺詞…有時候你需要時間想下一句。
So while you're thinking of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this...
所以當你想臺詞的時候呢…你停頓一下，表情要看起來非常的凝重。像這樣…
Ok...
哦，明白了...
Oh, here's my scene, there's my scene. "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
輪到我了，我的戲份來了，我的戲份來了。華萊士太太？我是德瑞克雷莫瑞醫生，你妹妹的神經外科醫師。
Yeah tell me, is she gonna be all right?
告訴我，她會不會好起來？
I'm afraid the situation is much dire than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a...
恐怕你妹妹的情形，比我們想像的還要糟糕。你妹妹得的病是…
A subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee.
腦下血腫。或許我們可以，邊喝咖啡邊聊一下。
Nice!
演的不錯嘛！
For a minute there I thought you were actually trying to smell something.
剛有那么一會兒，我還真以為，你聞到了什么東西呢。
That is so good! Do it again!
再演一次，演得太棒了！
All right, all right. "Damn it Braverman, it's right there on the chart!"
好吧好吧…“該死，貝弗曼，就在那張圖表上”。
That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
太棒了，好了，我要去上班了，我有根大恐龍骨頭要檢查。
No no. No, that's me.
不…那是我。
Oh, right.
哦對…是你。
Oh. Oh, thanks. I couldn't uh...
噢。謝了，我沒辦法…
Is everything ok?
你還好吧？
Um, no, huhuh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.
不，今天我有一個客人，死在按摩桌上。
Oh my God.
天啊。
That's a little more relaxed than you want 'em to get.
她是不是按你說的放松過頭了。
Yeah, uhhuh. Um, she was, you know, 82 years old. And uh, Her name was um, Mrs. Adelman.
她已經八十二歲了…她叫愛德曼太太。
Oh, honey.
親愛的。
Yeah, it's just so strange.
對呀，感覺怪怪的…
I mean, you know, she probably woke up this morning and thought, "All right, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, andand you know, then I'll have my massage."
她早上醒來時說不定在想…我去吃點早餐，然后去散步。然后，再去按摩。
Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it."
卻不知道上帝在想“好，但是就到此為止了”。
Oh oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, um, I was cleansing her aura when it happened, and whenwhen her spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
最詭異的事情是…事情發生的時候，我正在清她的靈氣。當她的靈魂離開身體的時候…我不認為它走遠了。
What'd you mean?
什么意思啊？
II think it went into me.
我想它上了我的身。
God, this is so hard. I can't decide between lamb or duck.
這太難了，我沒有辦法決定做羊還是鴨肉。
Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
當然了，羊肉比較恐怖，不然那部電影（《沉默的羔羊》）就會改為“沉默的鴨子”了。
Ok, who ordered what?
好了，誰點了什么？
Oh, I believe I had the halfdrunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
我想我點了，喝了一半的上面還有唇印的卡布奇諾咖啡。
Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
是嗎，這杯有煙屁股的是無咖啡因的嗎？
Oh God.
天哪。
I can't believe you're so uptight about your mom coming.
真不敢相信，你媽要來會把你緊張成這個樣子。
I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, my life is total crap, you know?
我知道，只是這是她第一次來，我不想她覺得…因為我沒嫁給貝瑞，我的生活就完全是垃圾。
Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. I'm sorry. At least you guys don't have to hear the stuff she says in my head.
說到垃圾，去聽史黛拉尼德曼…一遍遍地講她跟羅德斯泰格（影星）的故事。對不起，至少你們聽不到她在我腦子里說的什么。
Uh, Pheebs, how long do you think this lady'll be with us?
菲比？你想她會跟我們在一起多久？
I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. Sit up!
我不知道，老太太顯然，還有什么心愿還沒完成呢。坐有坐相！
There she is.
她在這里！
Mom! Sweetie!
媽媽！嘿，親愛的！
So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
這就是你工作的地方啊！好棒啊！這是客廳？還是餐廳？誰看得出來？我猜樂趣就在這兒吧。
Pretty much. Here, meet my friends.
差不多啦，來，看看我的朋友。
Monica! You look gorgeous! Oh, my, the last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
莫妮卡，你看起來好美喲。上回我看到你的時候，不是在吃就是被吃的狀態。
Uh, this is Joey, this is Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
這是喬伊，這是菲比，這是錢德，你記得羅斯吧？
Oh hello, Ross. Hi, Mrs. Green.
你好，羅斯。格林太太...
So, what do you think of my daughter in the apron with the big job?
你們認為我們家瑞秋系著圍裙…做大事的樣子如何？
Oh Mom!
媽媽！
Ok. If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
沒有你來倒咖啡呢，大家都休想喝到東西了。
Believe me, sometimes that happens.
相信我，有時候真的會這樣的。
This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
太令人興奮了，我從來沒有工作過。我從我爸家，直接到女學生聯誼會之家…然后再到我先生的家，我真為你驕傲。
Oh, really?
真的啊？
Yes. Oh let's make a day of it. We'll have lunch, we'll shop, we'll get our nails done...whatever you want!
是的，讓我把今天的行程計劃一下。我們去吃飯、購物，做指甲，你想干什么我們就干什么！
Ok, mom, uh II have to work.
我還得工作呢媽媽。
What, no one else can pour coffee?
什么，沒有別人可以倒咖啡嗎？
I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course that's before she got the lousy facelift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
我知道你讓我想起了誰了。艾沃琳·德莫。像去做大量的拉皮手術前的她，現在她像蘇比·賽爾了。
Pheebs, who's Evelyn Dermer?
菲比，艾沃琳·德莫是誰？
I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales?
不知道，蘇比·賽爾是誰啊？
Oh my God, there's an unattractive nude man playing the cello.
老天啊！有個丑陋裸男在拉大提琴。
Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.
是啊，還好他不是在演奏一個比較小的樂器。
You have some life here, sweetie.
你在這兒可真有生活啊。
I know. And mom, I realize you and daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything.
我知道，媽，我知道你跟爸很不高興我沒有嫁給貝瑞，住在郊外的大房子，過著安逸的生活。
But, God this is just so much better for me, you know?
可是，這樣對我好多了？
I do know. You didn't love Barry, honey. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want.
我知道，你不愛貝瑞，親愛的。我也沒見過你這么快樂過。看著你，我心里在想…“這是我要的”。
For...me.
你這么說是為我嗎？
Well, not just for you.
不只是為了你啦。
Well, what do you mean?
你是什么意思啊？
I'm uh, considering leaving your father.
我在考慮離開你爸爸。
All right. Tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts.
好，告訴我這是不是很可愛：女同婚禮…雞胸肉。
Oh God. I think I'm gonna be sick.
天啊，我想我快吐了。
Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them!
為什么？我又沒有在上面放小乳頭！
Oh, honey I am sorry. Please don't be mad at me. Whwhat can I do? Do you want me to make those little Marshmallow treats you used to like? I can call up Carnel and find out how.
親愛的，很抱歉，請別生我的氣。我能做點什么？你想讓我做你喜歡的棉花糖嗎？我可以給卡梅拉，（家里女傭）打電話問問她怎么做。
Mom, I just don't understand. I thought you were happy.
我不明白，我以為你一直很開心的。
Yeeeah. Well, so did I.Butbut you know how sometimes you're driving on the highway and you get home and you can't actually remember having driven there.
是的，我也這么以為。想象一下，很多次你在高速公路上開車回到家后，卻不記得曾到過那里。
Uhhuh.
嗯哼。
That's kind of my life's been like.
那就是我的生活狀態。
Uh, but couldn't you listen to the radio more?
那你開車時候不能多聽聽廣播嗎？
I wish it were that easy. But then I see you here and I keep thinking "Why can't I have this? I want adventures, I wanna hang out, I want Chandler!"
我也希望事情能這樣簡單，但是我看到了你在這兒過得這么好。我想，我為什么不能這樣？我想冒險，我想出去玩，我也想要一個錢德勒！
Oh, No. Mom! Mom..., believe me Chandler is no reason to leave daddy! I mean....You think this looks like I am having a lot of fun but it's really hard, really hard.
媽媽，相信我，錢德勒決不是你要離開爸爸的原因！你以為我現在過的很有意思嗎，但是這真的很艱難，很艱難。
I got this lousy job. I barely know if I am gonna make rent, and forget about buying stuff.
我有一個爛工作，我都不知道夠不夠支付房租，根本別想購物！
Oh honey, you don't understand. I'd be doing what you are doing...but with money. It's very different.
親愛的，你不明白。我跟你的處境一樣，只不過我有錢而已，這是完全不同的。
And you had no idea they weren't getting along?
你完全不知道他們處得不好？
None.
不知道。
They didn't fight a lot?
他們不常吵架？
No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?
不，他們連話都不講了。天啊，他們不講話我怎么會知道，他們之間有問題啊？
You know in my day, divorce was not an option.
在我那個時代，離婚不是個選擇。
Hey, look who's up.
看誰醒了。
Oh, I just can't believe this is happening.
我只是無法相信這個事情嘛。
I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced, you know? I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
我是說我小時候，每個人的父母都在鬧離婚。我只是想，我長大了，就不用再擔心這個了。
Well is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you.
你可不可以把這件事看做夸獎你呢？我是說，她這樣做是想向你學習。
