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Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! It was so good. I think you killed us.
莫妮卡，這真是史上最棒的感恩節大餐，太好吃了。你把我們撐死了。
Ross: I couldn't possibly eat another bite.
我連一口都吃不下了。
Joey: I need something sweet.
我要吃點甜的。
Phoebe: Does anyone wanna watch TV?
有人想看電視嗎？
All: Yeah, sure.
好啊。
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
莫妮卡，你的遙控器按不動。
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
你得把它拿起來對準。
Phoebe: Oh. Aw, forget it.
算了。
Rachel: Hey, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
你們知道嗎？我們應該來玩感恩告白游戲。
Joey: Ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
我要說！感謝今年的秋天這么美。
Monica: That's very nice.
說得真好。
Chandler: That's sweet, Joe.
說得真好。
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up.
那天我在等公車，突然吹來一陣秋風，把一個女生的裙子吹了起來。
Joey: Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs.
對了，我還要感謝丁字褲。
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering.
與其說它是內褲，不如說是一種偉大工程。
Joey: I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! I mean is it there, is it not there?
料子那么少，效果卻那么大。它還會戲弄你，有穿嗎？沒穿嗎？
Chandler: Are you aware that you're still talking?
你知道你還在嘮叨嗎？
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
有沒有人要感謝丁字褲以外的東西？
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
我不知道要比較感謝離婚，還是被趕出來。
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
我還以為你會沒得謝。
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worst Thanksgiving ever.
抱歉，這是最慘的一次感恩節。
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriageand take that away from me.
不不不，我才是悲慘感恩節之王。你不能以失敗的婚姻為理由搶了我的寶座。
Rachel: No, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
你又要說你爸媽離婚的事了？
Ross: Oh God, no.
上帝啊，不要。
Joey: No, no, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
別這樣嘛，我想聽。沒有錢德掃興就不算感恩節了。
Chandler: See, it's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
這跟游行一樣是一項傳統，如果游行也包括同性戀和拋妻棄子的話。
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce doesn't mean we don't love you.
錢德，爸爸和我要離婚，并不代表我們不愛你。
Mrs. Bing: It just means he would rather sleep with the houseboy than with me.
只是代表他上床的對象是男仆，不是我。
The Housekeeper: More turkey Mr. Chandler?
錢德先生還要火雞嗎？
Rachel: Every time you tell that story that guy's accent gets thicker and thicker.
你把那家伙的口音說得越來越重。
Phoebe: So are he and your dad still together?
他們還在一起嗎？
Chandler: No no no. After they got their own place, the houseboy got his own houseboy. Should've heard his accent.
沒有，他們同居之后男仆自己也有了男仆。你應該聽聽他的口音。
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
你說得對，你的更慘，你是悲慘感恩節之王。
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
不一定，我有一次更慘。
Chandler: Really? Worse than, "More turkey Mr. Chandler?"
慘過“錢德先生還要火雞”嗎？
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
小少爺跟仆人有仇嗎？對，我的更慘。
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying...Oh no.
還要繃帶！還要繃帶！再給我一些繃帶，這個人快……哦，不！
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
今生的才算，菲比。
Phoebe: Oh, this life! Oh ok no, Chandler's is worse.
今生是吧，那錢德的比較慘。
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
記得前世的事一定很酷，我都沒有前世的記憶。
Phoebe: Of course you don't sweetie. You're brand new.
當然沒有，你是新生命。
Rachel: I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.
我知道莫妮卡最慘的感恩節。
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
那個就別提了。
All: Oh, come on!
說嘛。
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
我知道，就是莫妮卡的火雞，卡在喬伊頭上那次！
Rachel: What? Joey got a turkey stuck on his head? !
什么？喬伊頭上卡了只火雞？
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
其實不是那樣。
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
其實就是那樣。
Joey: Hello?
你好？
Phoebe: Hello?
你好？
Joey: Phoebe?
菲比？
Phoebe: Joey? What's going on?
喬伊？怎么了？
Joey: Look.
你看。
Phoebe: Oh my God!
我的天哪！
Joey: I know! It's stuck!
我知道，它卡住了！
Phoebe: Easy, step. How did it get on?
小心臺階，它怎么會跑到你頭上？
Joey: Well, I put it on to scare Chandler!
是我套上去想嚇錢德！
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
天哪，莫妮卡一定會氣死！
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
那就趕快幫我拿下來，而且這里面好臭。
Phoebe: Of course it smells bad. You have your head up a dead animal's ass!
當然很臭，你的頭塞在動物尸體的屁股里。
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Monica. Oh.
是莫妮卡。
Monica: Hey!
嗨！
Phoebe: Hey!
嗨！
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey basted - Oh my God! Oh my God! Who is that?
你替火雞涂……我的天哪！那是誰？
Joey: It's Joey.
喬伊啦。
Monica: What-what're you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
你在干什么？你是在搞笑嗎？
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
不是搞笑，是嚇人。
Monica: Well, get that off now!
馬上給我拿掉！
Joey: I can't! It-it's stuck!
拿不掉，卡住了！
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
我不管，我爸媽的二十個客人，可不能就著你的頭吃。
Phoebe: All right, hold on! Ok, let's just all think.
先別急，大家一起想辦法。
Monica: Ok, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. Joey? Now is not the time!
我知道了，菲比，你拉，我盡量把腿撐開。喬伊，現在不要鬧。
Joey: Sorry! Right. Sorry.
對不起。
Monica: Ok, count to three. 1.2.3!
好，數到三。一，二，三！
Chandler: Arghhhhhh! !
啊啊??！
Joey: It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
成功了！我嚇到你了！
Chandler: I'm over here big guy.
大哥，我在這里。
Joey: Yeah, you are! Hey! Ha-ha! I scared you!
我知道，我嚇到你了！
Chandler: You did look like an idiot.
你看起來真的很白癡。
Joey: Yeah, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right?
白癡的不只是我。
Joey: Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
羅斯有一次想說冬南瓜，結果講成南冬瓜。
Ross: Yeah that's the same.
的確一樣白癡。
Monica: That's it. That's my worst Thanksgiving.
那就是我最慘的感恩節。
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one that Rachel is talking about, 'cause she didn't even know that happened.
等等，瑞秋說的不可能是那次，她根本不知道那件事。
All: Oh right. What was it? Which one?
所以是哪一次？哪一次？
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
我真的不想提這件事。
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. You know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
講嘛，重溫悲慘的回憶，是感恩節的精神。至少我覺得是，還有印第安人也是。
Monica: Look, umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
最不希望我提的絕對是你！
Chandler: What is that supposed to mean?
什么意思？
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
莫妮卡，應該是瑞秋來了。
Monica: I'll get it!
我來開！
Monica: Happy Thanksgiving!
感恩節快樂！
Big Nosed Rachel: Not for me. Chip and I broke up!
我不快樂，奇普和我分手了！
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? Wh-what happened?
為什么？怎么了？
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know how my parents are out of town and Chip was gonna come over...
你知道的，我爸媽要出門，奇普要來……
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were gonna give him you know, your flower.
對，你要給他你的花芯。
Big Nosed Rachel: Ok, Monica, can you just call it sex? ! It really creeps me out when you call it that!
莫妮卡，你能不能直接說做愛，你那樣講讓我渾身發毛。
Big Nosed Rachel: Ok, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believeme!
還有，在做的時候，男人的那里不叫他的溫柔。相信我！
Big Nosed Rachel: Hi!
嗨！
Mr. Geller: Hi Rachel!
嗨，瑞秋！
Big Nosed Rachel: Happy Thanksgiving! Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
感恩節快樂！你也是。
Ross: Hey!
嗨。
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
天哪！
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
各位，這是錢德，我的室友兼我們樂團的主唱！
Fat Monica: Ross!
羅斯！
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
這是莫妮卡。
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister. Chandler: Ok.
我是羅斯的妹妹。好。
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
歡迎你來，有很多吃的，希望你餓了。
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
媽，錢德痛恨感恩節，他不吃感恩節食物。
Mrs. Geller: Uhh. Oh I'm so glad you brought him here then.
哦，很高興你帶他來。
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler, umm, if you want, I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
錢德，我可以幫你煮起司通心面。
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, then I'm in.
只要當年的清教徒沒吃我就吃。
Fat Monica: Damm it!
討厭！
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? You know since I've been away at college.
瑞秋，我去上大學不在家，你會不會覺得怪怪的？
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh! No, not really.
那倒不會。
Ross: Well that's cool. So did...
那就好。那你……
Chandler: So that's Rachel, uh? The girl you've been writing all those songs about? Ross: Yeah.
她就是你那些歌的女主角瑞秋？對。
Chandler: You might wanna re-think the lyrics to, She Feels Weird Since I've Been Gone.
你可能得修改那句“我的離去令她渾身不對勁”。
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson.
奇普居然為了那個蕩婦南西·布蘭森而甩了我！
Big Nosed Rachel: I am never going out with him again you know. I don't care how much he begs!
我再也不跟他約會了，他再怎么求我也沒用。
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
他有了南西，應該不會求你了。
Big Nosed Rachel: You know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. They're just silly, stupid boys! I must start dating men!
你知道嗎？我受夠高中男生了，他們全是些又笨又呆的小毛頭。我要開始跟男人交往。
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl you and Jack were looking for.
茱蒂，對不起，我找不到你和杰克要的碗。
Fat Monica: Ah. Call them mom and dad you loser!
叫爸爸媽媽，傻瓜！
Ross: Monica!
莫妮卡！
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
錢德，起司通心面好吃嗎？
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
很好吃，你應該去當廚師。
Fat Monica: Ok!
好啊。
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what? ! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
你猜怎樣？南西很賤的傳聞都是假的，所以奇普甩了她，他今天晚上想來找我！
Fat Monica: Oh that is so great! Big Nosed Rachel: I know!
太棒了！就是啊。
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen, if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
天哪，要是你和奇普晚上做了，你一定要把細節都告訴我。
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh totally, totally. You know it's not that big a deal, we already kinda did it once you know.
那當然，其實也沒什么，我們應該算是做過一次。
Fat Monica: I know, but you know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
我知道，但這回你一定能確定！
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, honey. Oh, and Chip promised, that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
我知道。奇普還保證，這次會持續一整首歌的長度。
