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I've seen her do a lot of crazy stuff, but this is a whole new level. Is this a people cookie? -You're good.
我看她做過很多瘋狂的事兒，但此次的瘋狂又上升一個等級。這餅干是給人吃的嗎？-吃吧，沒事兒。
A definitive "yes" or "no" would be appreciated. Those cupcakes did a number on me.
你只要說"是"或"不是"就行了。上次的蛋糕已經給我留下陰影了。
Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe. -Gloria, sit.
你高興了吧？你讓我自賤到吃鞋子的地步。-歌洛莉亞，坐下。
Do you think this is funny? To talk to me like I am a dog?
你覺得很好玩嗎？把我當狗一樣地使喚？
I'm not talking to you like you're a dog. I'm just asking you to sit so we can get to the bottom of this. -Okay, fine.
我可沒有把你當狗一樣使喚。我只是請你坐下。好把問題解決了。-好吧。
Good girl. Come on. You set me up. Gloria, why are you acting so crazy? It's just a little dog.
真乖。拜托。你自己給我機會的。歌洛莉亞，你為何表現的那么瘋狂？不就是條狗嘛。
It's not the little dog that is making me crazy. It's you that is making me crazy. -Me?
不是狗把我逼瘋了。是你把我逼瘋了。-我？
Yeah, you used to put me first. You used to want me in that shower.
沒錯，你以前把我放在第一位的。以前是我陪你洗澡。
Should I be here for this?
我是不是該"非禮勿聽"？
No, Manny. It's okay. I go. But I want you to know this. Where I come from, men cherish woman. It goes wife, mistress, dog. Dog always at the bottom.
不用，曼尼。沒關系。我走。但我要告訴你，在我老家，男人都寵著女人。老婆第一，情人第二，狗第三。狗永遠排在最后。
As you can imagine, I get asked to help, Uh, with a lot of these environmental causes.
大伙都知道，我經常被邀請去幫忙，解決些環境問題。
Usually, I buy a ticket, uh, bid on Shaquille O'Neal's big shoe...and, uh, come home.
通常，我只是買張票，買雙奧尼爾的戰靴完事兒，就回家了。
But then, something happened. I love paddle surfing. And each time I'd go out, I'd see this one sea lion.
但后來發生了件事兒。我愛好腹板沖浪。每次出海，我都能碰到一頭海獅。
He'd pop his head up. He'd check me out. I got so used to seeing him, I even named him--Snorkels.
它抬起頭，看著我玩。我都習以為常了。甚至給它起了個名字，斯諾克斯。
Oh, god, I do not like where this is going.
天吶，我不喜歡故事的發展路線。
So one day, I, uh, I go out and I see Snorkels. But he's doing this weird twisting thing in the water.
有一天，我出海碰到了斯諾克斯。但它在水里奇怪地扭著身體。
Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god.
蒼天吶。天吶。天吶。
So I paddle over, and I see he's got a plastic grocery bag, wrapped around his neck and one of his fins.
于是我劃過去，發現有個塑料袋將他的脖子和鰭勒在一起。
And I freaked, tried to get it off with my paddle. It didn't work, so I-I jumped in, but he disappeared under the water. And, uh...
我慌了，想方設法用船槳去幫他扯開。但那不管用，于是我跳下水，可惜的是他已經沉入水中。之后......
Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.
別說了。求你別說下去了。
And I never saw him again.
之后我就再也沒見到他。
This is the saddest thing I've ever...
絕對是我聽過的最悲傷的故事......
Mitchell, are you okay?
米奇爾，你沒事吧？
Of course I'm not okay. None of this is okay.
怎么可能沒事。一切都那么糟糕郁悶。
Okay, well, you need to pull yourself together. 'cause we're at your boss' house.
好吧，你得忍住了。我們正在你老板家呢。
He drowned, Cam! -Is he all right?
他淹死了，小卡！-他沒事吧？
Yeah, yeah, I just think he needs a little air.
沒事，沒事，我覺得他需要點新鮮空氣。
You know who else needed air? Snorkels! -Excuse me.
你知道誰還需要新鮮空氣嗎？斯諾克斯！-抱歉。
Snorkels? ! Where are you, Snorkels? !
斯諾克斯？！你在哪里，斯諾克斯？
Mitchell, get back here! -Oh, Snorkels!
米奇爾，快回來！-噢，斯諾克斯！
Mitchell, what is wrong with you? !
米奇爾，你這是怎么了？
What do you think is wrong with me? I'm starving!
你以為我怎么了？我餓壞了！
Well, if you're starving, then just eat something!
好吧，如果你餓了，就吃些東西吧！
I can't eat something because then you'll get mad at me, and we're at my boss' house!
我不能吃東西，因為你會生我的氣，而且我們現在在我老板家！
I'm not gonna get mad at you! I appreciate what you're doing for me! I'm doing it for you.
我不會生你的氣！我很感謝你為我做的一切我所做的一切也都是為了你。
Oh, you don't have to do anything for me. I love you just the way you are.
不，你不需要為我減肥。我就喜歡原原本本真實的你。
I love you just the way you are. -I got you! - Okay. Okay. -I got you, babe! - Thank you.
我也喜歡原原本本真實的你。-我抓住你了！-好。好。-我抓住你了，親愛的！-謝謝。
I got you! -Cam. - I got you! -I can walk. I can walk.
我抓住你了！-小卡。-我抓住你了！-腳能夠到地。我自己站起來。
I think Mitchell may just be a work friend.
或許跟米奇爾只能做同事，無法做朋友。
