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Anyway, any ideas on a gift?
所以，有什么禮物推薦嗎？
Well, what are some of the things they like?
他們平常喜歡些什么呢？
They used to like going to the Mumbai Symphony, but last year my mom thought they were phoning it in.
他們以前喜歡去聽孟買交響樂團(tuán)。去年時，我媽覺得他們只是在瞎糊弄。
Then my dad said based on their love life, she should know about phoning it in.
我爸說從性生活來看，我媽的確是很懂"瞎糊弄"。
He said that to her? - Well, they weren't speaking at the time, so he had a servant say it to her.
你爸這么跟你媽說話啊？-當(dāng)時他倆在冷戰(zhàn)，所以他讓下人去跟她說的。
Oh, maybe I could make a gift for them. I know how much you guys love the coasters I made for you.
或許我能給他倆親手做個禮物。我知道你們倆非常喜歡我給你們做的杯墊。
They're yours in the divorce.
如果離婚了，杯墊歸你。
Hey. What're you working on?
在研究什么呢？
Remember when I said if you went through with your surgery, there was a one-in-700,000 chance of dying?
還記得我跟你說，如果你去做手術(shù)你有70萬分之1的幾率死亡嗎？
Yeah...?
然后呢？
Well, I've been crunching the numbers, and so far, I've gotten your probability of death all the way to a sphincter-tightening one in 300.
我研究了數(shù)據(jù)，目前我已經(jīng)把你做手術(shù)的死亡率提高到了讓菊花一緊的300分之1了。
Great timing. My "Check sphincter" light just went on.
說得真是時候。我的"檢查菊花"燈剛好亮了呢。
Leonard, what if you have an allergic reaction to the surgeon's latex gloves? -I'm not allergic to latex.
萊納德，要是你對外科醫(yī)生的乳膠手套產(chǎn)生過敏反應(yīng)怎么辦？-我對乳膠不過敏。
Well, then why don't you wear the rubber gloves I bought for you to do the dishes?
那你為什么不戴我給你買的洗碗用橡膠手套？
For the same reason I don't wear the apron or the hair net.
跟我不穿圍裙不戴發(fā)網(wǎng)的理由一樣。
Fine. What about epilepsy?
好吧。那癲癇呢？
I don't have epilepsy, either.
我也沒有癲癇。
You don't, but the surgeon might, hmm? And your carotid artery is just one shaky scalpel away from becoming the dancing fountain at Disneyland.
你是沒有，但手術(shù)醫(yī)生可能有啊。只有手術(shù)刀稍微拿不穩(wěn)，你的頸動脈就立刻變成迪士尼的跳舞噴泉。
Sheldon, do you realize that driving is riskier than surgery?
謝爾頓，你知道開車比做手術(shù)更危險(xiǎn)嗎？
I do. I have the drive to the hospital right here.
我知道。開車去醫(yī)院的命喪幾率在這呢。
That is if you make it to the car without falling down the stairs. And don't expect me to carry you, I do that enough in life.
前提是你能順利上車，沒有掉下樓梯摔死。別指望我罩你，我平常夠罩著你了。
