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CHRIS ROCK: Everyone would agree that one of the most important
所有人都會同意一年中
days of the year is Mother's Day.
最重要的日子之一 就是母親節
ALL: Happy Mother's Day!
母親節快樂！
Oh, you guys didn't have to do this.
噢 你們不用這么客氣的
Everybody wants to show their mama how much they love them.
所以人都希望向母親們展示自己的孝心
Even 2Pac wrote a song about his mother.
連2Pac也寫過一首關于他媽媽的歌 (注：即黑人嘻哈歌手Tupac)
On Mother's Day, people pull out all the stops.
在母親節當天 人們百忙之中也都停下來
You take your mother to brunch...
帶上媽媽去吃午餐
We're out of food.
東西都吃光了
I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
對一切不便深感抱歉
If you could just come back next Sunday.
希望你下個星期天再來光顧
What-What do you mean you're out of food? Next Sunday?
怎么會都吃光了呢？下個星期天？
We're out of food, Mama. What you want me to do?
我們的食物賣光了 老媽媽 你還想讓我怎么辦呢？
We take her to a great movie so she can wear
我們帶媽媽去看場好電影 她就可以戴上
a great big hat...
一頂巨大無比的帽子...
and you spend your last dime on her,
而你在她身上花光了最后一毛錢
just so she knows she's number one.
只為了讓她知道她是最最重要的
Oh, my God!
噢 我的老天！
Come on.
來吧
Oh, I can't believe you did this.
噢 不敢相信這是真的
But when it comes to Father's Day, nobody gave a damn.
然而到了父親節那天 沒有人當回事
It's Father's Day, people.
今天是父親節啊 街坊們
Come on down to Pastures and Shores.
光臨柏記餐廳
The food is half-price.
所有食物半價
Buenas noches. 緾omo se dice "half-off"?
（西班牙語）晚上好 全場半價 童叟無欺
The movies are terrible...
電影太可怕了...
Turn it off! Turn it off!
關掉它！關掉它！
...the gifts suck...
...禮物也很糟糕...
Ta-dah.
驚喜嗎
What the hell is this?
這到底是什么？
It's a parking space, honey.
親愛的 這是停車位
We got you a parking space.
我們送給你一個停車位
Better park and be happy.
好過什么都沒有
And the only song for fathers was this.
唯一一首獻給父親們的歌是這樣的
Oh, Papa was a rolling stone, my son, yeah
噢 老爹是塊滾石 我的兒子
This year, I wanted to get my father the perfect gift,
這一年 我想送給我父親一份最完美的禮物
and the only way to do that was to ask him what he wanted.
能達到目的的唯一途徑 就是問他想要什么
Dad, what present
爸 你要什么
do you want for Father's Day?
父親節禮物？
You want to get me something for Father's Day?
你想送我父親節禮物？
You can help me knock off one of these bills.
你可以幫我付帳單
Julius...
Julius...
Okay.
好吧
Father's Day...
父親節...
You know what?
知道嗎？
Y'all really want to get me something for Father's Day?
你們真的想送我父親節禮物？
I know exactly what I want.
我知道我要的是什么
What's that, baby? A day off.
親愛的 是什么？ 放一天假
You mean a day off from work?
你指的是一天不上班？
No.
不
A day off from everything and everybody.
遠離一切人和事的一天
No fighting, no shouting,
沒有大吵大鬧
no complaining,
沒有抱怨
no fixing.
沒有東西要修理
Just one day where I can do whatever I feel like doing.
只想要一個隨心所欲的一天
I hope he doesn't want to leave us for a white girl.
希望他不是想為了一個白妞而拋棄我們
GREG: So, wait, your dad says he doesn't wananything?
慢著 你爸說他什么都不想要？
Nope. All he said was he wanted to be all alone.
不 他要說的是他想獨處
You better watch out.
你最好多留個心眼
My mother said she wanted a day alone.
我媽說她想獨處一日
The next thing we knew,
接著我們知道的是
she left and moved to Poughkeepsie.
她離家出走，搬去了Poughkeepsie （注：紐約上州的一個城市）
Well, I don't care what he says. I'm gonna get him something.
我才不管他說了什么 我會弄點什么給他的
CHRIS ROCK: My father said what he wanted.
我父親說了他想要什么
My mother said what he was gonna get.
我母親決定他將會得到什么
What kind of gift is a day off from your family?
從你家放一天假是什么禮物啊？
It's just one day.
只是一天而已
Well, how is that supposed to make the kids feel?
你讓孩子們怎么想呢？
Women always used the kids against you.
女人永遠會利用孩子 作為對抗你的終極武器
It's Father's Day and you don't want to be a father.
那是父親節 你寧愿不當父親
I did not say that.
我沒有這樣說
They're trying to honor you,
他們想敬愛你
and all you got to say is, "Leave me the hell alone."
而你卻告訴他們：“別煩我！”
I did not say, "Leave me the hell alone."
我沒說過“別煩我”
You may as well have.
說出你心里話而已
I haven't had a day to myself in 13 years.
這13年里我沒一天屬于自己的時間
If I didn't want to be a father, I...
如果我不想做一個父親 我...
That look means if you want to keep beg a father
這個表情的意思是 如果你還想當爹的話
you better keep your mouth shut.
你最好閉嘴
It is supposed to be our day to do something special for you.
那天本該由我們為你做些特別的事
That's what I'm trying to say.
這就是我想說的呀
It's Father's Day.
那天是父親節
Why can't I do what the hell I want to do?
為什么我就不能做我想做的事？
Huh? Say what?
你說什么？
Uh... you got the key?
呃... 你有鑰匙嗎？
Well, what you gonna do here all day by yourself anyway?
你整天一個人呆在這能干什么？
Nothing.
什么也不干
Well, can the kids at least get you a real gift?
孩子們起碼可以送你一份實在的禮物吧？
What?
干嘛？
What's that?
那是什么？
Every Father's Day card and present
所有過去四年里
I've gotten for the past four years.
我收到的父親節賀卡和禮物
Look at this.
看這個
A box of S-Curl.
一盒卷發膏
I got you that.
我送給你的
A macaroni cigar box.
軟吸管裝飾的煙盒
Oh, that's so cute.
噢 那多別致啊
I got four ties-- a neck tie
我收到四條領帶———— 一條普通領帶
a bow tie, bolo tie...
一個領結 飾扣式領帶
I got him that.
我送給他的
...and a clip-on tie.
還有一個夾式領帶
I don't even wear ties.
我從不戴領帶的
I don't go nowhere.
一點用處都沒有
That's $28.46 we could have used
那$28.46美元我們該花在
on something else.
其他地方
Well, it's the thought that counts.
心意最重要
I appreciate it, I really do,
我很感激 真的
but if you buy me presents,
但如果你真要給我買禮物
I'm just gonna have to work to pay it off.
我得拼命工作倒貼錢
At this rate, I'll be working when I'm dead.
以目前的情況來看 我得工作到我死那天為止
Julius, you're dead. What are you doing here?
Julius 你已經死了 你在這里干什么？
Trying to pay off these presents.
嘗試付清這些禮物的錢
Listen, can I work the graveyard shift?
我可以在墓地上班嗎？
