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CHRIS ROCK: 1983 was my first Valentine's Day as a teenager.
1983年我還正處青春期 那是我過的第一個情人節
I never really cared about Valentine's Day before,
之前我對情人節這個概念不屑一顧
but now I couldn't ignore it.
但現在可大不一樣了
Valentine's Day makes most people think
一提到情人節 大多數人想到的是
of flowers and candy,
鮮花和糖果
but it reminded me of the gangland massacre in Chicago.
不過我想到的是芝加哥的黑社會大屠殺
Happy Valentine's Day.
情人節快樂
Yesterday, those roses cost $10.
在昨天 這些玫瑰花還只要10美元
Today, they're $110.
幾天卻一路彪升到了110美元
Even when you're broke,
即使正在鬧分手
you have to find a way to tell your woman you love her.
你也得想個法子向你的女友示愛
Hey!
嘿！
You picked the wrong wall today.
這可不是給你私用的
Even if it means getting the crap beat out of you.
即使這樣做會招來一頓爆打
On Valentine's Day, love was in the air.
情人節這天 到處都彌漫著愛的氣息
You should have seen what they did after they shot him.
倒霉的家伙 你真該看看他們爆打完你之后干了什么
Hey.
嘿
Hi. Happy Valentine's Day.
嗨 情人節快樂
Even at school, Valentine's Day was a big deal,
就連在學校也不例外
and it seemed like everybody
似乎每個人都有收獲
was getting something except me.
除了我
Still a few days to go.
還有幾天呢
We could still get a card.
我們還有機會能得到情人節卡片
That look means, "If we weren't friends,
換句話說 如果我們不是朋友的話
I'd smack the hope out of you."
我會跟你爭女孩的
Hey, I got one. I got a Valentine's Day card.
嘿 有張給我的卡片 我有張情人節卡片！
Cool.
太棒了
Hey, if I got a card,
嘿 如果我也有卡片的話
I know you will.
你一定也有
What's it say?
上面寫什么？
Roses are red, violets are blue, you stink like a monkey
玫瑰是紅的 紫羅蘭是藍的 你的臉紅得像猴子屁股
and look like one, too.
你真像個耍猴的
Happy Valey.
情人節愉快
So much for love in the air.
這就是“愛’的氣息
CHRIS ROCK: I didn't have any luck with girls when I was 13.
在我13歲時 非常沒有女孩緣
Mostly, I just had a bunch of crushes.
大多數時間 我受到的只是一連串的打擊
They call it a crush, because chances are
這樣說是 因為有可能
if you open your mouth, you're gonna get crushed.
你一開口就會把事弄得一團糟
他們可能已經提醒過 "她不喜歡你 傻瓜"
but "crush" is just quicker.
但糟糕事卻總比預想的要來得快
That's Tangee Brown.
她是Tangee Brown.
Hi.
嗨
All she ever said to me was "hi."
她一共就和我說了這么一句話
That's all I needed.
光這樣我已經很滿足啦
After that, she became my Bus Crush.
在那之后 她就引發了校車事件
I call it a Bus Crush
我稱之為校車事件
because this one happened on a bus.
是因為這回發生在校車上
One time I had an Elevator Crush.
曾經有一次 我在電梯里出了糗
I almost lost my head trying to follow her around.
為了她我可差點丟了腦袋
There was my Window Crush.
那次是我的偷窺丑事
The laws about that were a lot more relaxed at the time.
那時對偷窺事件 法律還沒現在管的這么嚴
There was only one problem with my Bus Crush
對于校車事件 我只有一個麻煩
she had a boyfriend.
她有個男朋友
Why I got to be stupid?
為什么是我的錯？
You're the one who lost your hat.
是你把帽子弄掉的
I lost it because I was trying to keep you
我弄掉了帽子是因為
from getting on the wrong bus.
你上錯車了 而我要叫住你
Oh, so I'm dumb now?
這么說來 是我變遲鈍了？
Yeah, Tangee.
是的 Tangee.
And you're getting on my nerves.
你把我惹毛了
Clyde 我的書還在你這
Here.
給你
You need to read them.
你需要讀讀
Maybe they'll teach you how to act.
也許你能學會怎么做人
This must be how the drummer felt
這一定就像
watching Ike and Tina fight.
鼓手看待 Ike和 Tina吵架一樣 注：50年代tina與著名樂師出身的ike turner因音樂而結緣 并組成ike & tina turner樂
隊 可惜因家庭暴力而以離婚告終
Thank you.
謝謝
You want to sit down?
你想坐嗎
No, that's okay.
不 站著挺好
Oh, no, it's all right. I like to stand.
噢 沒事 我喜歡站著
Thanks.
謝謝
At that moment, somebody could have sold me
那時真該有人給我張
a lifetime bus pass.
終生月票（不占座位 哈哈）
My mother loved Valentine's Day, and why not?
我媽媽喜歡情人節 有什么理由不喜歡呢？
I learned early on, Valentine's Day is not a day for couples.
我很久前就知道 情人節可不是為了情侶而存在
It's a day for women.
是為了女人而定的
If a woman shows up at a man's door empty-handed, big deal.
如果一個女人空手到男友家 稀客光臨呀！
But if a man shows up empty-handed,
不過情況相反的話
he may as well not have shown up at all.
那就別再我眼皮底下出現了
Die, you pig!
去死吧 你這頭豬！
He won't forget next year.
他會永生難忘的
ROCHELLE: Hello?
喂？
GIRL: Can I talk to Drew?
請問 Drew在嗎
No, Drew can't come to the phone right now.
Drew現在不能接電話
We're having dinner.
我們在吃晚餐
I'm his Valentine.
我是他的女朋友
His who?
他的什么？
His Valentine. His only Valentine.
他的女朋友 唯一的女朋友
Okay, bye.
再見
Drew, you need to tell these fast little girls Drew
你得告訴這些亂七八糟的小姑娘
to stop this house all hours of the day and night.
別整天沒完沒了的煩我們
I told them already,
我已經告訴過她們了
Well, tell them again.
好吧 那就再告訴他們一次
They're all calling here talking about, "Well, tell him
她們都往這打電話要我轉達
his Valentine called."
“他的女朋友來過電話了”
I don't have time for that mess.
我可沒時間管這些閑事
Relax. Boy can't help it if he's popular.
放輕松點 對一個受歡迎的男生來說 這是勢不可擋的
TONYA: Chris, how many Valentine cards Chris
目前為止
did you get so far?
你得到了多少張情人節卡片？
None.
一張也沒有
How come girls don't like you?
為什么姑娘們不喜歡你？
Because none of your business, that's why.
因為那不關你事
Don't get mad at me.
別沖我發火
JULIUS: Hey, hey, hey.
嘿 嘿 嘿
Mama, can you help me make
媽媽 你能幫我寫張
a Valentine's Day card?
情人節卡片嗎
JULIUS: A homemade card.
自制卡片
That's my little girl, saving that money.
那才是我的乖女兒 懂得節約
Sure, baby.
當然了 親愛的
Who's it for?
給誰呢
My boyfriend.
我的男朋友
Your what friend?
你的什么朋友？
Well, the girl can't help it if she's popular.
對一個受歡迎的女孩來說 這也是勢不可擋的
Where'd you get a boyfriend?
你在哪交的男朋友？
At school.
學校
DREW: Hey, Ma, do you have
嘿 媽媽
a place where I can put all my Valentine's Day cards?
有沒有地方給我放卡片？
How many you giving out, boy?
你要分發多少張？
Well, I'm not really giving them out.
呃 其實我也不是真的要發掉它們
Girls just keep on giving them to me.
只是姑娘們不停地送給我
