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Hello,
大家好…
I'm Rory.
我是羅里
When Tim asked me to be his Best Man, I was terrified.
蒂姆邀請我做他的伴郎時，我嚇壞了
So I thought best thing is to find a book about speeches. And here it is.
我想最好去找一本關于演講的書，就是它
And it says think of really funny anecdotes.
上面建議想一些趣聞軼事
And there is a very hilarious story, actually from work.
的確有一件非常滑稽的事，是在工作上
It was quite a complicated case based on an issue of
是個錯綜復雜的案子，是關于…
cross-amortisation of ownership of post-divorce properties and, um...
離婚后財產的所有權的交叉攤銷…
Let me just explain the context. The Defendant...
讓我先來解釋下背景，被告人…
When Tim asked me to do his Best Man speech, my immediate reaction was,
蒂姆邀請我代表伴郎致辭時，我的第一反應是…
"How much are you gonna pay me, you little shit? "I don't write for free, you know."
“你會付我多少錢，你個臭小子？我可不是免費的哦”
These were the girls available to him at that time.
這些就是他以前的女朋友們
"Hello, girls." And this is how far he got with each of them.
“哈嘍，女孩們”，這就是他跟每位的發展程度
Let me explain the code. 5, blow job.
我來解釋下這個代碼，5代表吹簫
8, full penetrative...
8代表全部插入…
and so a toast
為這個房間里…
to the man with the worst haircut but the best bride in the room.
留著最差勁發型的男人以及最美的新娘干一杯
Ladies and gentlemen, Tim and Mary.
女士們先生們，蒂姆以及瑪麗
Tim and Mary.
蒂姆以及瑪麗
That's us.
是我們
I wish I'd said "I love you".
我希望我有說“我愛你”
You did, Dad.
你有說，爸爸
It was implied.
很含蓄
I'm not sure "implied" is good enough for a wedding day, are you?
我想“含蓄”對于結婚大喜日子來說并不足夠好，對嗎？
No, don't do it, it's fine.
不，別那樣，很好了
I'm so happy with it as it was. You really don't have to.
我已經很高興了，你真的沒必要那么做
I'll do what I wanna do, young man. Will you excuse me for just one moment?
我要做我想做的，小子，你可以稍等我一下嗎？
Later on I may tell you about
稍后我可能會告訴你們…
Tim's many failings as a man and as a table tennis player.
蒂姆作為一個男人以及一個乒乓 球玩家的種種缺點But,
但是…
important first to say the one
首先要說的一件…
big thing, I've only loved
很重要的事是…我一輩子…
three men in my life.
只愛過三個男人
My dad was a frosty bugger so that only leaves dear Uncle Desmond,
我老爸是個冷冰冰的家伙，所以只有親愛的德斯蒙德…
B.B. King, obviously, and this young man here.
靈樂歌手，以及這個小子
I'd only give one piece of advice to anyone marrying.
對于新人我只有一條建議
We're all quite similar in the end.
我們所有人到頭來其實都一樣
We all get old and tell the same tales too many times.
我們都會變老，并且無數遍地重復同一個故事
But try and marry someone
但是試著和一個善良的人…
kind.
結婚
And this is a kind man
這就是個不錯的男人…
with a good heart.
有著一顆善良的心
I'm not particularly proud
我一輩子沒有為什么事…
of many things in my life, but I am very proud
感到特別驕傲過，但是我很驕傲…
to be the father of my son.
做我兒子的爸爸
