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Girl: Don't leave me cowboy. Don't leave me.
Mike: Sorry babe, but I'm a traveling man and I gotta go. So I'll just say Yo!
Man: Ok. We may have to do a little work on this ending. People, that's it for today, and please,
leave your address so we can send you your revised pages.
Mike: Oh, Bob, Bob, Bob. What do you do if you don't know your address?
Bob: Look inside your underwear.
Mike: I mean I haven't found a place yet. Do you know where I can find a nice clean
apartment for say one or two hundred dollars a month?
Bob: Yeah. Milwaukee.
Mike: Maurice. Listen, could you help me out? I mean is there any way I could get my first
days pay now?
Man: Michael, nobody gets their pay until the play opens, and that's four weeks away.
Mike: Four weeks! How is a guy supposed to live?
Man: Well you could sell your blood. As a matter of fact I'm going right now. You want to go?
Mike: No thanks.
Girl: Eight seven five, central park south. Penthouse.
Mike: Ah Liz. Listen I was thinking, it would really help me understand my part if I could spend
the night on your couch tonight.
Girl: Sorry. Tonight my boyfriends fighting for the Light Heavy Weight crown.
Kate: Mike!
Mike: Kate! Look, I know we haven't seen each other for a few months, but heck, we can't say
that anymore.
Kate: How are you Mike?
Mike: Fine. Kate, Kate, I did it! I moved to New York and I'm starring in a play.
Kate: Broadway?
Mike: Off Broadway.
Kate: How far off?
Mike: It's a nursing home on the second floor. It doesn't matter. The point is, here I am and
here you are. You seeing anyone?
Kate: No.
Mike: Me neither. Want to live together?
Kate: Mike.
Mike: Ok, ok. I know it was my idea for the two of us to be just friends, but, hey look, the
question you got to ask yourself is; how meaningful do you want this friendship to be?
Kate: I would love to help you but...
Mike: hey look. Here's the truth. I just moved away from home. I've got a hundred bucks in
my pocket and no place to live. It would only be for a couple of days. A week, six months
tops.
Kate: I would love to help you but my mother's visiting.
Mother: Hello.
Mike: That's your mother?
Mother: You bet your but.
Mike: Charmed.
Kate: It is really nice to see you. Don't you know anybody else in the city?
Mike: Don't I know anybody else in the city! Kate, my book is filled. I just thought I'd give you
first shot.
Kate: Thanks.
Mike: Kate. Any of the time we were going out, did I ever lend you money?
Kate: No. In fact, you owe me fifty.
Mike: You're right. I'm sorry. Bad time to bring up money. I'll call you when the play opens.
Kate: I would love to see it.
Mike: You want to pay for two tickets now?
Mike: Grandma, it's your favorite grandson. And do I have good news for you.
Voice: Ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Jerry Vale.
Jerry: Hi, I'm Jerry Vale.
Mike: Uh, is this my grandma Urma and Wally's apartment?
Jerry: Yes. I'm house sitting. I do that for all my fans. Wally and Urma are in the Bahamas.
Mike: The Bahamas!
Jerry: Yeah, it's a little chain of islands off the East coast.
Mike: well uh, look, Mr. Vale, it's like this. I am Urma's grandson Mike, and I just moved to
New York to become an actor and I don't have a place to stay. What do you say?
Jerry: It's a tough break kid. It will make you a better person. So long.
Waitress: Hey. Hey. Hey!
Mike: Another cup of coffee please.
Waitress: You've been here for hours. If you want to stay you got to order some food.
Mike: Uh, well excuse me but that sign in the window clearly offers a bottomless coffee.
Waitress: It also says friendly service.
Mike: Look lady, here's the truth. I'm an actor with no place to stay. Would you please cut me
a break?
Waitress: You want a break? I'll tell you about breaks. Forty years ago I understudied Mary
Martin in South Pacific and that broad never even once got sick. So I joined the circus and
spent my reproductive years with w two headed man. Would you like to see a picture of my
kids?
Mike: Uh I'm sure they're beautiful.
Waitress: Yeah right. Get out.
Music: Everybody's talking at me. I cant here a word they say. Only the echoes of my mind.
People stop and stare.
Mike: Hey! That's my car. That's all I got. You know if I pay for impound I'll be broke. I got
nothing. You know whose fault it is? It's my fathers.
Man: Here.
Mike: A buck. You're giving me a buck?
Man: Sorry, it's all I can afford. Its winter.
Mike: It's come to this. An anonymous homeless man gives me a buck.
Man: Otis.
