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TV: And coming up late tonight Steven Botchcoes cop Rock.
Maggie: Ok Chrissy, its time for us top leave.
Chrissy: Mum. Are you going to be home late, or am I going to have to miss Cop rock?
Maggie: Honey it's passed your bedtime.
Chrissy: But its breakthrough television.
Maggie: Go to bed. Goodnight. Chrissy. You won't be needing that. Carol, I'm counting on you
to make sure...
Carol: Chrissy's in bed by eight thirty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jason: So why are you complaining about babysitting? It's not like you had a date tonight.
Carol: Just go.
Ben: Well, I'm all done on doing the dishes on a night that's not even my turn.
Jason: That's good Ben.
Ben: That was great bean salad mum. Interesting but not dangerous.
Maggie: Thanks Ben.
Ben: May I have your recipe.
Jason: It won't do you any good. We're still going top parents night.
Ben: Is that tonight?
Jason: Oh, should I ground him now or later.
Ben: This isn't like all those times I go in trouble, way back, when was that?
Jason: Oh, lat semester.
Ben: Hey look, what I'm saying is that I'm more mature. When was the last time you guys
saw me blow milk through my nose?
Maggie: Well,
Ben: Hey it doesn't count though, it wasn't milk. And just the other day I had gas and I kept it
all to myself.
Maggie: Ben!
Ben: hey not completely to myself, but…
Maggie: Ok, look honey, we have noticed that you are more mature. You haven't gotten into
any trouble for weeks, your grades are fine, and my guess is you've got all your teachers
buffaloed.
Ben: You bet I do.
Jason: Let's roll Maggie.
Ben: Remember these are bitter people who don't make a lot of money.
Maggie: Well thank you for your time Mrs. Crockmyer.
Jason: Yes, I'm glad we got to talk. Its great to hear Ben's finally buckling down like that.
Teacher: Well I like teaching children and I like cutting up frogs.
Maggie: But isn't this an English class?
Teacher: Yes.
Maggie: Mrs. Crockmyer...
Jason: Wait, we're having a great night. That's the sixth teacher who's been glowing about
Ben.
Maggie: They sure must have lowered their standards since mike went her.
Principal: Attention parents. This is your beloved principle Willis Dewitt. Next period is lunch.
During this period you are welcome to come to my office to get your child's locker combination.
So you can route through their personal belongings.
Maggie: Oh!
Jason: Maggie, we don't have to route through bens locker.
Maggie: Of course we don't have to. We get to.
Jason: Maggie. Ben wouldn't hide anything from us.
Maggie: Because he's such a good student?
Jason: No because he's not slick enough to get anything passed us.
Maggie: Oh Jason, are you going to stand here and do nothing?
Jason: No. I'm going to go to the boy's room and do something.
Man: Hey, look up. Um, hu, force of habit.
Jason: Men, men, men, men, men. How can we be expected to have our children follow our
example if we ourselves don't set it? Come on, the surgeon generals report is a generation old.
Isn't it time that we need light?
Man: No thanks. It's lit.
Jason: Boy this takes me back. I remember in my school, this is where you get your real
education. Mr. little bites. Isn't that funny.
Man 2: No. I'm Mr. little.
Jason: I meant that it's ironic that they should say something so disrespectful and then still
use the traditional expression of "good will Mr.".
Man: What kind of goof ball are you?
Jason: Psychiatrist.
Man: Uh hu.
Jason: Dr Seaver.
Ronda's Father: Dr Seaver!
Jason: Hello.
Ronda's Father: Ho. Hey, doctor Seaver. Hey!
Jason: Hey!
Ronda's Father: Hey mo.
Jason: Mo!
Ronda's Father: Mo Green.
Jason: Mo Green.
Ronda's Father: Ronda's dad.
Jason: That would be Ronda Green.
Ronda's Father: I know she is friends with Ben. Oh I love that knucklehead.
Jason: You do?
Ronda's father: If I didn't, how else could I put with him for six nights a week?
Jason: Six nights week?
Ronda's Father: Yeah, he's practically part of the family.
Jason: Ben Seaver?
Ronda's Father: Will you stop it, you're killing me. I'm going to compliment you. He's a great
kid, and such a hard worker. Cleaning the garage, washing the dishes, fixing the plumbing.
Was it you that taught him all about transmissions?
Jason: S E A V E R?
Ronda's Father: I don't know. I can't spell. I'm illiterate. I'm just so glad we're getting along
because I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days, you and me were related. If you know
what I mean?
Jason: What the hell are you talking about?
Ronda's Father: Ben and Ronda. Hey, now how come you're acting like you don't know what's
going on when you threw them a big six-week anniversary party, hu?
Jason: Maggie! Come on in here, there's something I want you to hear.
Ronda's Father: Oh, I love this guy.
Maggie: Well if he's been dating her for six weeks, why haven't we met her?
Jason: I don't know.
Maggie: And how could he sneak out of the house very night for six weeks?
Jason: I don't know.
Maggie: Jason, what do you know?
Jason: I know I don't like getting noogied.
Maggie: Where's Ben?
Carol: No good evening? No thank you for babysitting? No gratitude for my time?
Maggie: That's right. Where's Ben?
Carol: Don't know, don't care.
Maggie: Hu. With an attitude like that its no wonder that little Ben is sneaking around with this
fourteen-year-old girl with pantyhose in his locker.
Carol: What? You think I have an attitude? Well hu!
Ben: Well, you guys must be really hungry after hearing all those great things about me.
Jason: Ben, I've never been more disappointed in you in my whole life.
Ben: Uh, hey, it wasn't my idea to Vaseline the toilet seats in the teachers lounge.
Maggie: Uh hu.
Ben: Hey they were going to throw out those dissected frogs anyway, so why could I use
them?
Jason: Let me give you a hint Ben. Ni ni ni ni ni.
Ben: You know mo.
Jason: Mo than you think.
Ben: Well I guess there's no reason for me to say anything but goodnight.
Maggie: Don't count on it Mr.
Jason: Why haven't we met Ronda?
Maggie: Six weeks!
Jason: Part of the family.
Maggie: Fixing transmissions without permission.
Jason: Don't just sit there. Say something.
Ben: I really, really, really love you guys.
Jason: Uh hu.
Ben: Ok look. I'm dating this girl named Ronda. There, it's out in the open. I feel better.
Maggie: From the beginning Ben, and include all the lies, falsehood and deceptions.
Ben: Um...
Jason: I'm waiting for the old ripple dissolve Ben.
(Flashback)
Ben: Well, it was during the first or second week of school. I'm not sure, but I know it was
after my English class, because there was frog blood on my shoes. I was getting lunch from
my locker when I saw her.
Ronda: That's the last time I wear white shoes to English class.
Ben: You're in my class?
Ronda: Yeah. I had no idea high school English would be like this. Do you want to go out to a
movie?
Ben: Hu?
Ronda: Oh right. I'm Ronda Green, but you are probably busy so just forget I asked.
Ben: Wait, wait wait a minute. You're asking me out on a date?
Ronda: You're acting like it's never happened to you before.
Ben: Are you kidding? Usually it's groups of women asking me out.
Ronda: So, what night?
Ben: Any night.
