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Jason: Ok. All you have to do is sit here and act nonchalant.
Maggie: Jason, where's Mike going to sit when we ream him?
Jason: Be right back. And I don't ream Maggie, I discuss.
Chrissy: Mummy, mummy, mummy. Who's in trouble?
Maggie: Chrissy what makes you think someone's in trouble?
Jason: Daddy told me how happy he was I was a clean slate.
Jason: Still no sign of his car?
Chrissy: Mike's in trouble. Wait till I tell Ben.
Maggie: Honey, Mike's car makes such a horrible sound. Can't we just listen for it inside like
normal people?
Jason: Well, last time we wanted to see him, do you remember what he did? Shut off his
engine and slid it into the driveway in neutral.
Maggie: Jason, he knows. Honey he knows we are tense and I think he's too smart to try and
duck us today.
Jason: Too smart. Yes, then why would he leave this unopened college registration form, which
as direct sunlight reveals was due today, right out where anybody could find it Maggie? In the
dresser under the socks, tucked away in the back.
Maggie: Jason, we don't have to fool around with any of this. We just have to lay down the law
and tell him what to do.
Jason: Oh, where is my list?
Maggie: List?
Jason: Yes. Questions you must answer before dropping out. I'm not having this discussion
without my list.
Maggie: Fine, go get your list. But after we go through it point by point, you know we are
going to end up doing things my way.
Jason: What was that honey?
Maggie: I was so worried you'd lost it.
Jason: No, no, not to worry. I've got it all on computer disc. You want to, uh, you want to
practice. You be Mike, I'll be me.
Maggie: Who's going to be me?
Jason: I'll be you too.
Maggie: So you get to be both of us and I only get to be Mike? I want to be Michelle Pfeiffer.
Jason: I could live with that.
Maggie: Oh.
Jason: Hey come on honey. We need a little practice maybe. Role play is good for us. Our boy
is very tricky.
Maggie: Yeah.
Jason: Hi Mike. Listen, have you really given thought to how difficult an acting career can be?
Don't you think it wise to have a marketable skill you can fall back on? Do you really want to
drift through your twenties the way you did your teens? The front door.
Maggie: What about it?
Jason: Its 8unprotected. That was close. Back to the drive way.
Maggie: Jason, you shouldn't be enjoying this so much.
Jason: I'm not Maggie. Showtime!
Maggie: What's the matter?
Jason: It's a trick
.
Maggie: Good thinking honey. Mike will probably figure out that we are waiting on kitchen
chairs in the driveway and try to use the front door.
Chrissy: What did Mike do?
Ben: Well Chrissy, its not just one thing. The way mum and dad see it, Mike's always been....
Chrissy: A constant disappointment. I hear things.
Ben: Mike, get out! Mum and...Oh it's only you.
Carol: Only me! Hu.
Chrissy: Mum and dad are looking for Mike; it could be the big one.
Carol: Well maybe watching Mike finally brought to justice would perk me up. I'll be in my
room with my library books. Call me if it's the big one, but only if it's the big one. As I may
have mentioned, my first week at Columbia University was, not only exhausting, but....
Chrissy, Ben and Carol: Much more work than I ever expected.
Ben: You mentioned it.
Chrissy: A lot.
Mike: Benjamin, Christine...
Ben: Mike, Mike, Mike....
Chrissy: The big one! The big one!
Mike: Benjamin, Christine. Listen calm down. If you're talking about the fact that our parents
are a little anxious to see me, I'm well aware of it. Alright.
Ben: Aware of it. Mike, do you know that dad found your unopened college registration form?
Mike: Yeah.
Ben: Yeah.
Chrissy: Did you know they are waiting for you at the front door?
Mike: They got tired of the kitchen chairs hu?
Ben: Well I don't get this. How come we didn't hear his car?
Chrissy: I bet he turned of the engine, slid into the driveway, in neutral.
Jason: He may try parking way down at the end of the block.
Mike: Is that his car behind the Chevy?
Jason: No, I think that...Mike.
Mike: Hey. How are you guys doing?
Maggie: Not well.
Mike: Hey listen, if you've got some time there are some things id like to discuss.
Maggie: We don't have any time to discuss anything cos we have many things to discuss.
Jason: Honey, I'll handle it.
Mike: Listen can I go first please?
Maggie: Absolutely not.
Mike: Listen, I want to talk to you about my college career. Ok. Now guys, I've been doing a
lot of thinking about this and it may sound kind of silly to you, but I even made...a list.
Jason: Well, it's just going to have to wait Mike because...a list. Well, well, well. It doesn't
sound silly at all. Proceed.
Maggie: Jason,
Jason: Relax sweetheart. We work with logic.
Mike: Now I realize that I am not a kid anymore. And although I do have my dreams, I'm
starting to see that there is a real world out there. Ok. And its time that I made a choice.
Jason: Right. That is what we....
Maggie: Shhh! We haven't heard his choice yet.
Mike: You don't mind if I refer to my list?
Jason: Mines longer.
Mike: These ar4e some questions that I have asked myself about staying in school. Ok.
Number one. Have I really thought about how tough career acting is?
Jason: Uh hu.
Mike: And number two. Shouldn't I have a marketable skill to fall back on?
Jason: That was my number four.
Mike: And number three. Do I really want to just drift through my twenties the way I did my
teens?
Jason: Drifting, bingo.
Mike: And number four, how can I truly feel like an adult unless I am on the road to self sufficiency?
Jason: Didn't have that one.
Mike: Now listen. I have forty nine more questions like this.
Jason: Forty nine! Hooo, I only had forty.
Mike: Guys, what it all comes down to is, I think I should stay in school this next year.
Maggie: Nothing doing young man.
Jason: Hold on Maggie, he just said that he's staying in school.
Maggie: And you believe him?
Jason: believe him. He's got a list and everything.
Maggie: Jason, what about the registration that he didn't fill in and was due today?
Jason: Yeah!
Mike: Well, that's cos, lets look at list number two.
Jason: Your number two and my number two?
Mike: Mine. About having a marketable skill. And mum. I want to go to school here.
Maggie: Phillip Boynton State teachers college.
Mike: Exactly. I mean you guys remember last year when I did that emergency substitute
teaching. I mean I was so good because not a single one of those kids could get a single thing
passed me.
Maggie: I remember.
Mike: Yeah. Now I know it would mean a little more time in college, but I really want to go to
Boynton, and work towards a teaching certificate.
Jason: Wow. My boy and Boynton.
Mike: Yeah, I mean dad. It would kind of be like one of those bad guys who starts working for
the law.
Maggie: It's signed in ink and everything.
Mike: Now, it would mean at least another year of me living above the garage and maybe
another year of me stealing food out of the refrigerator.
Jason: We don't mind. Just don't touch your mothers low sodium salami.
Maggie: Mike, you're serious?
Mike: Yeah mum. I am.
Maggie: But, what about your dream of being an actor?
Mike: Well I figure, if I'm any good, it can wait til after I've graduated.
