As time moved on my grief and anger at his untimely death began to recede. I realised that his affirmation of me from his deathbed had filled a gaping hole of insecurity I had constantly carried around.
時光荏苒，父親過早離世帶給我的悲傷和氣憤開始逐漸減弱。而我也意識到父親在臨終病床上給我的肯定讓常年困擾著我的不安全感煙消云散。

To a child a hug says so many things. It tells you that the person hugging you loves you, cares for you. A hug also confirms that you are a lovable being. Months after Dad's death I realised with a jolt that his lack of hugs said more about him than me. My father was not a demonstrative man and I was, therefore, perhaps, a lovable being.
擁抱對一個孩子來說意味著很多。它表示擁抱你的那個人愛你、關心你。同時它也證明你是個討人喜歡的孩子。父親過世幾個月后，我猛然意識到父親很少擁抱別人更多是性格所致。他不是個善于表達的人，所以……可能……我是父親喜歡的孩子。

Once I digested this insight my feelings changed from those of a needy child to ones of a very proud daughter. Looking at my father more objectively allowed me to view him clearly: he was a man of few words; he was intelligent, kind and extremely modest. Ironically I began to feel closer to him in death than I had while he was alive.
一旦我領悟了這點，我感覺自己一下從一個貪婪的小孩變成了一個驕傲的女兒。更客觀地看待父親讓我更透徹地了解他：他是個少言寡語的人；他很聰明、善良而且極其謙虛。讓人諷刺的是，我甚至開始覺得我和他現在的關系比他生前時更親密。

With this new-found wisdom came the freedom to give up trying so very hard to gain the affections of others and to concentrate on finding me. I shattered the family taboo of silence about the break-up of my parents' marriage. I also felt the need to speak out about the detrimental effect I felt my step-parents had had on my life.
這個新發現的人生智慧為我重新詮釋了自由的定義，我不會再費盡艱辛地去贏取他人的歡心，更不會再以自我為中心。我打破了家人對父母破碎婚姻三緘其口的家庭禁忌。我也覺得有必要大聲告訴我的繼父母他們曾對我的生活造成的不利影響。

In some ways the consequences have been quite dire and I no longer have contact with my mother. However, Dad's hug had a profound effect on me. It carried me along a path from childhood to adulthood. At last I am my own woman and one who loves nothing better than a good old-fashioned hug.
在某些方面，這可能會造成非常可怕的后果，以致后來母親和我斷了聯系。 然而，父親的擁抱對我有著深遠的影響。它帶著我走過了從孩童到成人的心路歷程。最終，我找到了屬于自己的真正自我， 而我同時也是一個最愛老式擁抱的女人。