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Growing up at a distance – geographical and emotional – from her chilly father meant Katherine Burdett always doubted his feelings for her. Until his final few days…
從小到大，不論是平日接觸還是情感交流，Katherine Burdett對冷漠的父親總有疏離感，致使她常常懷疑父親對自己的感情，直到父親彌留之際……
I grew up bereft of hugs. Neither of my parents was the cuddly type. Greetings involving kissing caused me to wince, and hugging generally just made me feel awkward.
我的成長過程中沒有擁抱，因為我的父母都不是喜歡擁抱的人。寒暄時的親吻讓我畏縮，而擁抱則會使我陷入尷尬。
Then one hug changed all that. One month before my 40th birthday my dad had heart surgery. As he came round, days later, he grabbed me and hugged me so hard I had to push with all my might to keep my head from pressing down on his newly stitched torso.
而后來的一個擁抱將一切徹底改變。我40歲生日前的那個月父親接受了心臟手術。幾天后，當他蘇醒過來時，他抓著我并緊緊地擁抱了我，他是如此用力以至于我使了好大力氣才推離他的身體，而那上面有著新近才縫合的創口。
It was a hug to make up for all those we had never had. Days later as he slowly started to gain strength he told me for the first time ever that he loved me, and through my tears I told him I loved him too.
這個擁抱彌補了一切我們所不曾擁有的。幾天后，他開始慢慢恢復體力，然后有生以來第一次他告訴我他愛我，我淚流滿面，對他說我也愛他。
I began planning how to bake him better – with carrot cakes, victoria sponges, jelly and ice cream. My maternal streak kicked in and I fantasised about wheeling him through the park and feeding him home-made goodies. Then he died.
我開始計劃著如何用蘿卜糕、果醬夾層蛋糕、果醬和奶油為他烘焙更美味的各式點心。我的母性氣質急劇爆發，我幻想推著坐著輪椅的他在公園漫步，請他品嘗自制小點。可是不久他過世了。
