I wasn't really sure what to talk to you about today and I asked Tre and he said, "Well, you know Class Day is such an important day, and I'm sure we'd love to hear some of your memories of it." And that calmed me because the truth of the matter is I have absolutely no memories of this day. I thought back to my own graduation and, I mean I'm sure I was here because I have the little clay pipe and I remember I had the pipe because my mom found it my room that night and accused me, thinking it was a pot pipe. And so we got in a big argument about it and my roommate decided to solve the argument by taking out his two-foot water pipe that he had in a locked box in the living room and comparing it, to show that in fact, that was not a pot pipe. It went well, yeah, it went very well.
我不是很明確今天該跟你們說些什么，于是我專門請教了特雷，他告訴我，“畢業典禮是一個很重要的日子，所以我敢肯定大家想聽聽你對自己的畢業典禮的一些回憶。”這讓我鎮定了，因為事實上我對那一天已經沒有任何印象了。回顧自己的畢業典禮，我敢肯定我確實參加了，因為我帶回來一個小小的陶土煙斗。我之所以記得那個小小的煙斗，是因為那天晚上我媽媽在我的房間里發現了它，她以為這是用來吸大麻的，為此指責了我。因此，我們爭吵了起來，最后，我的舍友從臥室里一個鎖著的箱子里拿出一個兩英尺長的水煙斗做對比，證明那個陶土煙斗不是用來吸大麻的，這才算平息了爭執。這很奏效，沒錯，這真的很奏效。
So I have no actual memory of sitting here in a funny hat listening to a speaker, which I actually find calming because, frankly, it doesn't matter what I say, because you all are not going to remember this, you know, by tomorrow. But your parents are going to remember this because they paid through their noses for it, so I will try to make it memorable for them, if for no one else. I do remember the commencement ceremony: I remember the cap and gown, the polyester, I remember the procession, I remember being excited and nervous and completely confused about my future--feelins, I imagine, that most of you are experiencing in some form. When I graduated, when I was sitting here I imagine, I hadn't acutally applied for any jobs and I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Yeah, that's right. Raise your hand if you're in that position. I remember asking my mom for advice, something I rarely did growing up because my mom is not the most practical person on the planet. The last time I'd done that was in middle school, when I was having problems in math class and I asked her for some advice and she told me to wear vertical stripes because they're slimming. So I didn't know what that meant.
因此，我不記得曾戴一頂滑稽的帽子坐在這里聽演講，這事實上讓我鎮定了下來，因為，坦白說，你們知道，不管我講什么，到明天你們就會忘記。但是你們的父母將會記住這一刻，因為他們為之付出了巨大的代價，所以就算不為別人，僅為了他們，我也會讓這次演講令人難忘。我依舊記得畢業典禮，記得滌綸布料的學士服和學士帽，記得游行列隊，還有當時緊張而興奮的心情，以及對未來的迷茫。我想，你們中的大多數人現在也有著同樣的心情。當我要畢業時，當我坐在這里時，我還沒有找工作，也不知道我這一生想要做什么。這很正常。如果你現在也處于同樣的境況，請舉手。我還記得曾向母親尋求建議，從小到大我很少這樣做，因為她并不是世界上最實際的人。上一次向她尋求建議是在上中學時，當時我在數學課上遇到了一些難題，向她尋求建議，她讓我穿豎紋衣服，因為那樣顯得修長。當時我不明白她的意思。
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