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今天周五啦！AmyLee非常感謝大家的陪伴，我們YY可可備考小組的成員越來越多了，不許偷懶，托福優(yōu)秀范文一天寫一篇學(xué)一篇哦，寫好了可以發(fā)送至我郵箱keke3096@qq.com進(jìn)行互批，共同進(jìn)步!^^
我已經(jīng)托福三戰(zhàn)過了，對考試各方面都很熟悉，所以大家到考前了有什么疑惑也可以發(fā)郵件給我，我會盡力為大家解答。
每天的寫作任務(wù)是這樣的，寫好每天的作文發(fā)至我的郵箱（如果你想加入作文批改小組請注明），我們將進(jìn)入互批作文模式。
在此我對每天的topic進(jìn)行解析和范文精講，請大家寫完作文之后不忘進(jìn)行比較，找出自己的不足之處。開始吧！
6. If you could change one important thing aboutyour hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples tosupport your answer.
參考分析： 改變其環(huán)境，因?yàn)橐粋€(gè)好的環(huán)境會使人們
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| 6、一個(gè)重要的改變就是改變環(huán)境，讓它變的更好 （1）環(huán)境好能改善人的身體健康，很多人因?yàn)榄h(huán)境而生病 （2）環(huán)境好了，吸引更多的游客來旅游 （3）環(huán)境好能夠促進(jìn)經(jīng)濟(jì)發(fā)展，吸引更多的商人來投資 （3）建造工廠，贏利后，就可以向當(dāng)?shù)卣暙I(xiàn)稅收，政府可以利用這些錢改善社區(qū)的服務(wù) |
Topic 6 Change about my hometown
If I could change one important thing about my hometown,it would be air pollution problem, and I will give the following reasons to explain why I want to solve the problem.（虛擬語氣，上來就直接用假設(shè)，假設(shè)的好處是為了提出一個(gè)新的觀點(diǎn)，不過似乎有模板的感覺，開頭有點(diǎn)少，可以再敘述一下change的原因，現(xiàn)狀，所以我們需要change）
The first and most important reason is thatI hope that my hometown can become a beautiful city. As an old industrial city,my hometown has made a great deal of contribution（做出巨大貢獻(xiàn)）for the country’s economic development. At a result（結(jié)果是）, the natural environment of the city has been badly damaged. The forest has disappeared; the mountains havebecome bald, and the most awful thing is that the air quality becomes more andmore worsen. People seldom see the blue sky during most time of year.
Another reason why I want to change my hometown’s air pollution situation is that the city’s development needs cleanand tidy environment to attract investors.（投資者）Nowadays people have come to know that the city’s environment,which is so called “software facility of the city”,（環(huán)境是城市的軟設(shè)施）plays an important rolein the city’s future. For example, due to the fact that the environment of thecity is very poor, many local students who pursue（追趕）their study out of the city would rather find the mselves a job inother cities than coming back to their hometown after they graduated.（城市環(huán)境不好，年輕人出去學(xué)習(xí)就不愿意回來了，就像我們出國留學(xué)，外面都是好風(fēng)光，回來看到烏云籠罩的城市也會覺得很不舒服一樣的，這個(gè)理由很實(shí)際。）
In addition, nowadays people have paid moreand more attention to their health. If the air pollution problem cannot besolved as quickly as possible, people’s requirement for a healthy body willnever be realized.
In my mind, changing air pollution will apparently bemy first choice if I can change one important thing about my hometown.Fortunately people in my hometown are gradually aware of the serious problem and start doing something about it.（這篇文章是一篇比較標(biāo)準(zhǔn)格式化的作文，沒有太多形式多樣的變化，但是格式段落清晰，相信也給考官留下了較好的印象。對于寫作水平不是很高的同學(xué)，這就是你們的學(xué)習(xí)目標(biāo)，不需要有太華麗的語言，先保證把話說明白，句子不出錯(cuò)誤，這樣好歹拿到一個(gè)fair，然后再渲染文字，用好的巨型奪考官的眼球，加油！）
好了，今天就說這么多，大家一定要堅(jiān)持練習(xí)作文，每天進(jìn)步一小點(diǎn)，一個(gè)月下來托福寫作絕對是質(zhì)的提升！希望大家跟著我每天一篇練下去，寫作都是硬功夫，跟小時(shí)候每周都要寫語文作文是一樣的，功夫到家自然成，加油！
最后再mention一下互評作文的事情，這個(gè)作文互評目前只有我在做，我希望盡可能給有需要的可可粉們提供幫助，如果你們中有愿意跟我一起批改大家作文的，一定要mail我加入哦！（互批可以進(jìn)步非常快，做過才知道！）
可可托福備考小組官方郵箱：Keke3096@qq.com
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