5 話說金榮因人多勢眾，又兼賈瑞勒令賠了不是，給秦鐘磕了頭，寶玉方才不吵鬧了。大家散了學，金榮自己回到家中，越想越氣，說：“秦鐘不過是賈蓉的小舅子，又不是賈家的子孫，附學讀書，也不過和我一樣。因他仗著寶玉和他相好，就目中無人。……”

Translation 1:

With heavy pressure on him and orders from Chia Jui to apologize, Chin Jung had to appease Pao-yu by kowtowing to Chin Chung. Then school was dismissed and he went home, where the more he brooded the angrier he grew.

“That flunkey Chin Chung is only Chia Jung’s brother-in-law, not a son or grandson of the Chia family,” he fumed. “He’s only in the school on sufferance, just as I am. But on the strength of his friendship with Pao-yu he looks down on everyone else….”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（譯文緊扣原文意義，將一段原文譯成兩段，改變了原文的語篇結構，個別地方略嫌拘謹。）

Translation 2:

Outnumbered, and hard pressed by Jia Rui to apologize, Jokey Jin made a kotow to Qin Zhong, whereupon Bao-yu agreed to let the matter drop. Back in his own home, when school was over, he brooded with mounting anger on his humiliation.

‘Qin Zhong is Jia Rong’s brother-in-law: it’s not as if he were one of the Jia clan. He’s only an external scholar, the same as me; and it’s only because he is friends with Bao-yu that he can afford to be so high and mighty. …’

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（譯文意義緊扣原文，將一段原文譯成兩段，改變了原文的語篇結構，半音半意譯了金榮；譯文第一段連貫性強，第二段具備口語特征。）

Translation 3:

Sensing that the other party had a gang of people and Jia Rui compelled him to apologize, Jin Rong apologized and kowtowed to Qin Zhong, having Baoyu appeased. After school and having returned home, Jin Rong got more and more enraged through contemplations, saying: “Being merely a brother-in-law of Jia Rong’s, Qin Zhong is not among any younger generation of the Jia family. Like myself, he is included in the school only by a special permission. With Baoyu standing by his side, he should be so arrogant as to look down upon others. …”

（譯文緊扣原文，未改變原文的語篇結構，連貫性強，但直接思維翻譯得略帶書卷氣。）

6 話說是賈敬的壽辰，賈珍先將上等好吃的東西，稀奇的果品，裝了十六大捧盒，著賈蓉帶領家下人與賈敬送去，向賈蓉說道：“你留神看太爺喜歡不喜歡，你就行了禮起來說：‘父親遵太爺的話，不敢前來，在家里率領合家都朝上行了禮了。’”賈蓉聽罷，即率領家人去了。

Translation 1:

Chia Ching’s birthday had now arrived. Chia Chen had sixteen large hampers filled with choice delicacies and rare fruit and sent Chia Jung with some servants to deliver them.

“Make sure your grandfather’s agreeable before you pay your respects,” he cautioned his son. “Tell him that in compliance with his wishes I’ve not ventured to go, but I am assembling the whole family here to honor him.”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（譯文緊扣原文意義，將一段原文譯成兩段，改變了原文的語篇結構，翻譯引語中的引語時也轉換了敘事角度。）

Translation 2:

Jia Jing’s birthday had now arrived. Cousin Zhen packed sixteen lacquer gift-boxes with the rarest and choicest delicacies and instructed Jia Rong to take a number of domestics with him and deliver them to Jia Jing. He was to observe carefully whether or not his grandfather was pleased, and having made his kowtow, was to deliver the following message:

‘Because of your request, Father has not ventured to visit you himself. Instead he will place himself at the head of the entire family and lead them in prostrating themselves in your direction.’

Having received his father’s instructions, Jia Rong mustered his band of servants and set out.

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（譯文緊扣原文意義，將一段原文譯成三段，改變了原文的語篇結構，以敘事人的口氣翻譯了引語，以引語的方式翻譯了引語中的引語。）

Translation 3:

As Jia Jing’s birthday was drawing near, Jia Zhen packed 16 great gift-boxes with the most delicious foods and rarest fruits and sent Jia Rong with a few servants to deliver them. On Jia Rong’s departure, he said: “Be careful to see whether your grandpa like them or not. Having kowtowed, you would tell your grandpa: ‘Abiding by your order, my father would not dare to come to pay his courtesy. However, he had led the whole family kowtowed at home already.’” Knocking his head, Jia Rong started off with the servants.

（譯文緊扣原文，未改變原文的語篇結構，引語和引語中的引語都一如原文。）

7 話說熙鳳正與平兒說話，只見有人回說：“瑞大爺來了。”鳳姐命：“請進來罷。”賈瑞見請，心中暗喜。見了鳳姐，滿面陪笑，連連問好。鳳姐兒也假意殷勤讓座讓茶。賈瑞見鳳姐如此打扮，越發酥倒，因餳了眼問道：“二哥怎么還不回來？”鳳姐道：“不知什么緣故。”賈瑞道：“別是路上有人絆了腳，舍不得回來了罷？”

Translation 1:

While Hsi-feng was talking to Ping-erh, Chia Jui was announced. She ordered him to be admitted at once.

Overjoyed at being received, he hastened in and greeted her effusively, beaming with smiles. With a show of regard she made him take a seat and offered him tea. The sight of her in informal dress threw him into raptures. Gazing amorously at her he asked:

“Why isn’t Second Brother Lien home yet?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Hsi-feng replied.

“Perhaps he’s been caught by someone and can’t tear himself away?”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（譯文緊扣原文意義，對話翻譯遵從了英語的寫作習慣，改變了原文的語篇結構。）

Translation 2:

Jia Rui’s arrival was announced while Xi-feng and Patience were still talking about him.

‘Ask him in,’ said Xi-feng.

Hearing that he was to be received, Jia Rui rejoiced inwardly. He came into the room wreathed in smiles and overwhelmed Xi-feng with civilities. With feigned solicitude she pressed him to be seated and to take tea. He became quite ecstatic at the sight of her informal dress.

‘Why isn’t Cousin Lian back yet?’ he asked, staring with fascinated eyes.

‘I don’t know what the reason can be,’ said Xi-feng.

‘Could it be,’ Jia Rui inquired archly, ‘that someone has detained him on his way home and that he can’t tear himself away?’

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（譯文緊扣原文意義，引語和對話的翻譯都遵從了英語的寫作習慣，大幅度地改變了原文的語篇結構，人名翻譯遵從自己的一貫原則。）

Translation 3:

Engaged in a chat with Ping’er, Xifeng sensed someone coming to report: “Lord Jia Rui has come.” Sister Xifeng ordered: “Show him in then.” Invited to enter, Jia Rui was pleased at heart. On seeing Sister Xifeng, he extended repeated greetings with ingratiating smiles. With pretentious courtesy, Sister Xifeng offered him a seat and a cup of tea. Sensing Sister Xifeng in casual dress, Jia Rui was even more overwhelmed. Shooting her an amorous glance, he asked: “How on earth the second brother isn’t back yet?” “I am not sure why,” replied she. “Is he attracted by someone on his way and then he could not tear himself away?” asked Jia Rui.

（譯文緊扣原文，未改變原文的語篇結構，遣詞造句有別于兩前譯。）

8 話說鳳姐兒自賈璉送黛玉往揚州去了，心中實在無趣，每到晚間，不過同平兒說笑一回便胡亂睡了。這日夜間和平兒燈下擁爐，早命濃薰繡被，二人睡下，屈指計算行程該到何處，不知不覺已交三鼓。

Translation 1:

Hsi-feng found life excessively dull after her husband’s departure with Tai-yu for Yangchow. She passed the evenings as best she could chatting with Ping-erh before retiring listlessly to bed.

One evening, tired of embroidering, she sat nursing her hand-stove by the lamp and told the maid to warm her embroidered quilt early, after which they both went to bed. When the third watch sounded they were still reckoning on their fingers the stage Chia Lien must have reached on his journey.

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（譯文緊扣原文意義，將一段原文譯成兩段，改變了原文的語篇結構。）

Translation 2:

After Jia Lian’s departure for Yangchow Xi-feng felt bored and unhappy, particularly in the evenings when, apart from chatting with Patience, there seemed little to do but sleep. On the occasion of which we write she had sat beside the lamp with Patience until late into the evening; then, the bedding having been well warmed, the two women had gone to bed, where they lay until after midnight discussing the stages of Jia Lian’s journey and attempting to calculate what point he was likely to have reached in it.

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（譯文基本上緊扣原文意義，未改變原文結構，但行文近于寫作，對原文細節略有增刪。）

Translation 3:

Since Jia Lian accompanied Daiyu back to Yangzhou, Sister Xifeng felt quite dull. Every night, engaged with Ping’er in gossip of nonsense, she would go to bed straightly. On that night, with Ping’er, she embraced a hand stove by the dim light. Then she ordered to have her perfumed silk quilt ready earlier than usual and then went to bed with Ping’er, figuring where Jia Lian had reached. But before she knew it, it was the third round of watch already.

（譯文緊扣原文，注意了自身的銜接與連貫，譯文最后一句與兩前譯不同，完全貼近原文。）

9 話說寧國府中都總管來升聞知府里委請了鳳姐，因傳齊同事人等說道：“如今請了西府里璉二奶奶管理內事，倘或他來支取東西，或是說話，小心侍侯才好。每日大家早來晚散，寧可辛苦這一個月，過后再歇息，別把老臉面扔了。那是個有名的烈貨，臉酸心硬；一時惱了，不認人的！”

Translation 1:

When the news that Hsi-feng was to take charge reached Lai Sheng, chief steward of the Ning Mansion, he summoned all his colleagues.

“Madam Chia Lien of the West Mansion is coming to supervise our household,” he told them. “When she asks for things or gives orders, we must be extra careful. Better turn up earlier and leave later every day, working hard this month and resting afterwards, in order not to lose face. You know what a terror she is, sour-faced, hard-hearted and no respecter of persons once she’s angry.”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（譯文意義緊扣原文，將一段原文譯成兩段，改變了原文的語篇結構，但引語的翻譯略嫌拘謹。）

Translation 2:

When Lai Sheng, the Chief Steward of the Ning-guo mansion, learned that Xi-feng had been invited to take on the management of the household, he called his cronies together and addressed them in the following terms:

‘Well lads, it seems that they’ve called in Mrs Lian from the other house to run things here for a bit; so if she should happen to come round asking for anything or have occasion to talk to you about anything, be sure to do what she says, won’t you? During this coming month we shall all have to start work a bit earlier and knock off a bit later than usual. If you’ll put up with a little extra hardship just for this month, we can make up for it by taking things easy when it’s over. Anyway, I’m relying on you not to let me down. She’s well known for a sour-faced, hard-hearted bitch is this one, and once she’s got her back up, she’ll give no quarter, no matter who you are. So be careful.’

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（譯文意義基本上緊扣原文，引語的翻譯非常口語化，敘事角度與前譯略有不同，使譯文更加連貫，主題意義更為鮮明。）

Translation 3:

On hearing that at the invitation, Sister Xifeng would come to manage the family affairs of the Ning Mansion, Lai Sheng, chief steward, gathered all his colleagues and warned them: “At the invitation, Madam Jia Lian will come to manage the family affairs of our mansion. If she asks for things or orders someone to run an errand, be careful to answer her properly. I hope every day you will have to come early and leave late, working hard for the coming month and taking a decent relaxation after that. She is notorious for her quick temper, with a face as cold as cucumber and a heart as hard as stone. She will not mind who you are if she is offended!”

（譯文緊扣原文，未改變原文結構，引語翻譯略帶書卷氣。）

10 話說寶玉舉目見北靜王水溶凈白簪纓銀翅王帽，穿著江牙海水五爪龍白蟒袍，系著碧玉紅鞓帶；面如美玉，目似明星；真好秀麗人物。

Translation 1:

Looking up, Pao-yu saw that the Prince of Peiching had on a princely silver-winged cap with white tassels, a white robe embroidered with zigzag wave patterns and five-clawed dragons, and a red leather belt studded with green jade. With his face fair as jade, his eyes bright as stars, he was truly a handsome figure.

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（譯文緊扣原文。北靜王是在秦可卿出殯的路上搭棚吊唁時接見賈寶玉的，其裝束可能與吊唁有關。但原文沒有顯說，譯文也沒有顯譯。）

Translation 2:

Looking up, Bao-yu saw that Shui Rong’s princely headgear was embellished by way of mourning with white bands, a white hatpin, and filigree silver ‘wings’. As a further token of mourning his robe, though heavily bordered with a ‘tooth and wave’ design of rainbow-colored stripes and gold-emblazoned with the royal five-clawed dragon, was of a white material. It was confined at the waist by a red leather belt, studded with green jade. The splendid costume, the luminous eyes, the finely chiseled features really did make him an arrestingly handsome young man.

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（譯者將上文中的素服理解為孝服，因而將衣飾上的白顏色當成了吊孝的標記，并如是翻譯。為此，譯者翻譯時部分地改變了原文的意義。）

Translation 3:

Having raised his eyes, Baoyu saw that Prince Beijing, named Shuirong, with his face fair as jade and eyes bright as stars, was really a handsome prince in his prince dress: a silver-winged prince cap with white tassels, a white dragon robe with five dragon claws in addition to a zigzagged river and a waving sea, and a red leather belt at the waist studded with green jade.

（譯文緊扣原文，但顛倒了原文的意義順序，遣詞造句也有別于楊譯。）