Nevertheless he rose that night again, by force of habit more than anything else; and when he was once up, he wanted to go and salute and see once more, for the last time, in the quiet of the night, that little chamber where he toiled so much in secret with his heart full of satisfaction and tenderness. And when he beheld again that little table with the lamp lighted and those white wrappers on which he was never more to write those names of towns and persons, which he had come to know by heart, he was seized with a great sadness, and with an impetuous movement he grasped the pen to recommence his accustomed toil. But in reaching out his hand he struck a book, and the book fell. The blood rushed to his heart. What if his father had waked! Certainly he would not have discovered him in the commission of a bad deed: he had himself decided to tell him all, and yet--the sound of that step approaching in the darkness,--the discovery at that hour, in that silence,--his mother, who would be awakened and alarmed,--and the thought, which had occurred to him for the first time, that his father might feel humiliated in his presence on thus discovering all;--all this terrified him almost. He bent his ear, with suspended breath. He heard no sound. He laid his ear to the lock of the door behind him--nothing. The whole house was asleep. His father had not heard. He recovered his composure, and he set himself again to his writing, and wrapper was piled on wrapper.
敘利亞的決心仍是徒然。那夜因了習慣的力,又自己起來了。起來以后,就想往幾月來工作的地方做最后的一行。進去點著了燈,見到桌上的空白紙條,覺得從此不寫有些難過,就情不自禁地執了筆又開始寫了。忽然手動時把一冊書碰落到地。那時滿身的血液突然集注到心胸里來:如果父親醒了如何;這原也不算什么壞事,發見了也不要緊,自己本來也屢次想說明了。但是,如果父親現在醒了,走了出來,被他看見了我,母親怎樣吃驚啊,并且,如果現在被父親發覺,父親對于自己這幾月來待我的情形,不知要怎樣懊悔慚愧??!——心念手頭萬緒,一時迭起,弄得敘利亞震栗不安。他側著耳朵,抑了呼吸靜聽,并無什么響聲,一家都睡得靜靜的,這才放了心重新工作。
He heard the regular tread of the policeman below in the deserted street; then the rumble of a carriage which gradually died away; then, after an interval, the rattle of a file of carts, which passed slowly by; then a profound silence, broken from time to time by the distant barking of a dog. And he wrote on and on: and meanwhile his father was behind him. He had risen on hearing the fall of the book, and had remained waiting for a long time: the rattle of the carts had drowned the noise of his footsteps and the creaking of the door-casing; and he was there, with his white head bent over Giulio's little black head, and he had seen the pen flying over the wrappers, and in an instant he had divined all, remembered all, understood all, and a despairing penitence, but at the same time an immense tenderness, had taken possession of his mind and had held him nailed to the spot suffocating behind his child. Suddenly Giulio uttered a piercing shriek: two arms had pressed his head convulsively.
門外有警察的皮靴聲,還有漸漸遠去的馬車蹄輪聲。過了一會,又有貨車“軋軋”地通過。自此以后,一切仍歸寂靜,只時時聽到遠犬的吠聲罷了。敘利亞振著筆寫,筆尖的聲音“卿卿”地傳到自己耳朵里來。其實這時,父親早已站在他的背后了。父親從書冊落地的時候就驚醒了,等待了好久,那貨車通過的聲音,把父親開門的聲音夾雜了?,F在,父親已進那至,他那白發的頭,就俯在敘利亞小黑頭的上面,看著那鋼筆頭的運動。父親對從前一切忽然都恍然了,胸中充滿了無限的懊悔和慈愛,只是釘住一樣站在那里不動。敘利亞忽然覺得有人用了震抖著的兩腕抱他的頭,不覺突然“呀!”地叫了起來。