Alas! If I join St. John, I abandon half myself: if I go to India, I go to premature death. [qh]

哎呀！要是我跟著他，我就拋棄了我的一半。我去印度就是走向過早的死亡。[qh]

And how will the interval between leaving England for India, and India for the grave, be filled? [qh]

而離開英國到印度和離開印度到墳墓之間的空隙，又是如何填補呢？[qh]

Oh, I know well! That, too, is very clear to my vision. [qh]

我也看得清清楚楚。[qh]

By straining to satisfy St. John till my sinews ache, I shall satisfy him -- to the finest central point and farthest outward circle of his expectations.[qh]

為了使圣·約翰滿意，我會忙個不停，直弄得肌肉酸痛。我會使他滿意——做得絲毫不辜負他的希望。[qh]

If I do go with him -- if I do make the sacrifice he urges, [qh]

要是我真的跟他去了——要是我真的作出他所慫恿的犧牲，[qh]

I will make it absolutely: I will throw all on the altar -- heart, vitals, the entire victim. [qh]

那我會做得很徹底。我會把一切心靈和肉體——都扔到圣壇上，作出全部犧牲。[qh]

He will never love me; but he shall approve me; [qh]

他決不會愛我，但他會贊許我的做法。[qh]

I will show him energies he has not yet seen, resources he has never suspected. [qh]

我會向他顯示他尚未見過的能力和他從不表示懷疑的才智。[qh]

Yes, I can work as hard as he can, and with as little grudging.[qh]

不錯，我會像他那樣奮力工作，像他那樣毫無怨言。”[qh]

"Consent, then, to his demand is possible: but for one item -- one dreadful item. [qh]

“那么有可能同意他的要求了，除了一條，可怕的一條。[qh]

It is -- that he asks me to be his wife, and has no more of a husband's heart for me than that frowning giant of a rock, down which the stream is foaming in yonder gorge.

也就是他要我做他的妻子，而他那顆為丈夫的心，并不比那邊峽谷中小溪泛起泡沫流過的陰沉的巨巖強多少。[qh]

He prizes me as a soldier would a good weapon; and that is all. [qh]

他珍視我就象士兵珍視一個好的武器，僅此而已。[qh]

Unmarried to him, this would never grieve me; [qh]

不同他結婚，這決不會使我擔憂。[qh]

but can I let him complete his calculations -- coolly put into practice his plans -- go through the wedding ceremony? [qh]

可是我能使他如愿以償——冷靜地將計劃付諸實踐——舉行婚禮嗎？[qh]

Can I receive from him the bridal ring, endure all the forms of love (which I doubt not he would scrupulously observe) and know that the spirit was quite absent?[qh]

我能從他那兒得到婚戒，受到愛的一切禮遇（我不懷疑他會審慎地做到）而心里卻明白完全缺乏心靈的交流？[qh]