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Meanwhile, my mind began knitting itself back together. Gradually, my awareness started to return.
但是同一時間，我的意識開始逐漸緩慢復原，慢慢的，我的意識開始恢復了。
But no one realized that I had come back to life. I was aware of everything, just like any normal person.
但是沒有人意識到我已經恢復了意識。我可以意識到一切，就像一個完全正常的人一樣。
I could see and understand everything, but I couldn't find a way to let anybody know.
我可以看見也可以理解一切，但我不知道如何讓別人知道。
My personality was entombed within a seemingly silent body, a vibrant mind hidden in plain sight within a chrysalis.
我的意識像是被埋葬在一個看起來寂靜的身體里，活躍的內心被蛹束縛起來。
The stark reality hit me that I was going to spend the rest of my life locked inside myself, totally alone.
殘酷的現實狠狠的沖擊了我，我很可能在有生之年只能封鎖在自己的身體里了，完完全全孤身一人。
I was trapped with only my thoughts for company. I would never be rescued. No one would ever show me tenderness.
我被困住了，只有我的思考作伴。我永遠不會被解救，不會有人對我溫柔以待。
I would never talk to a friend. No one would ever love me. I had no dreams, no hope, nothing to look forward to.
不會有朋友與我熱心交談，不會有人把我視作珍寶。我沒有夢想，沒有希望，沒有任何事情供我去期待。
Well, nothing pleasant. I lived in fear, and, to put it bluntly, was waiting for death to finally release me,
沒有任何可以留戀的。我活在恐懼中，而且坦白地說，我甚至期待死亡的最終解脫，
expecting to die all alone in a care home. I don't know if it's truly possible to express in words what it's like not to be able to communicate.
孤獨地在我心愛的家中等死。我不知道用語言表達，這種無法用語言表達的感覺是否現實。
Your personality appears to vanish into a heavy fog and all of your emotions and desires are constricted, stifled and muted within you.
就像你的意識看起來將要迷失在濃霧中，你所有的感情和欲望在身體里被約束、扼殺、沉寂。
For me, the worst was the feeling of utter powerlessness. I simply existed.
對我而言，最可怕的是極度無力的感覺。我在事實上是存在的。
It's a very dark place to find yourself because in a sense, you have vanished. Other people controlled every aspect of my life.
但是你只能在非常昏暗的地方才能找到自己，因為在某種程度上，你已經消失不見。別人控制了我生命的每一個方面。
They decided what I ate and when. Whether I was laid on my side or strapped into my wheelchair.
他們決定我吃什么、什么時候吃。我是被鋪放在一側還是被綁在我的輪椅上。
I often spent my days positioned in front of the TV watching Barney reruns.
我經常被放置在電視機前，看Barney在電視上放了一遍又一遍。
I think because Barney is so happy and jolly, and I absolutely wasn't, it made it so much worse.
我想可能是因為Barney是那么的歡快活潑，而我卻與它完全相反，這讓事情變得更加糟糕。
