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Perhaps my parents could have found out and could have helped.
也許我的父母本能夠發(fā)現(xiàn)并給我?guī)椭?/div>
But the years of constant caretaking, having to wake up every two hours to turn me,
但是經(jīng)年累月的康復照看，不得不每兩個小時就醒來讓我翻身，
combined with them essentially grieving the loss of their son, had taken a toll on my mother and father.
加上失去一個兒子的沉痛傷悲，讓我的父母覺得難以招架。
Following yet another heated argument between my parents, in a moment of despair and desperation, my mother turned to me and told me that I should die.
隨著父母之間的一次激烈的爭吵，在那么一個絕望的氛圍之下我的母親看向了我對我說“你應該去死”。
I was shocked, but as I thought about what she had said, I was filled with enormous compassion and love for my mother, yet I could do nothing about it.
我非常震驚，但是當我思考她所說的話，我感覺到了對我的母親的巨大同情和愛，但我對此無能為力。
There were many moments when I gave up, sinking into a dark abyss. I remember one particularly low moment.
很多次我決定放棄，不如就此沉入黑暗的深淵，我仍能記起一次極端低潮的時候。
My dad left me alone in the car while he quickly went to buy something from the store. A random stranger walked past, looked at me and he smiled.
我的父親把我一個人留在車中，他一個人很快的去商店里買些東西，一個陌生人走過來看了我一眼，給了我一個微笑。
I may never know why, but that simple act, the fleeting moment of human connection, transformed how I was feeling, making me want to keep going.
我并不知道他為何笑，但那個簡單的動作，那個瞬間人類間的交流改變了我的想法，讓我非常想要堅持下去。
My existence was tortured by monotony, a reality that was often too much to bear.
我的生命被單調折磨，這是一個時常難以承受的現(xiàn)實。
Alone with my thoughts, I constructed intricate fantasies about ants running across the floor.
當我只與思維作伴時，我只能靠構建出的錯綜復雜的幻想度日，想象成群的螞蟻在地板上穿行。
I taught myself to tell the time by noticing where the shadows were.
我學會通過觀察陰影的位置來辨別時間。
As I learned how the shadows moved as the hours of the day passed, I understood how long it would be before I was picked up and taken home.
因為我觀察出陰影是如何隨著時間而移動，我逐漸能夠判斷出離回家還需要多久時間。
