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I was completely powerless to change anything in my life or people's perceptions of me.
我無法改變生命中的任何事情，對改變別人對我的認(rèn)知也無能為力。
I was a silent, invisible observer of how people behaved when they thought no one was watching.
我是一個無聲的，隱形的，觀察人們行為的觀察者，人們以為沒有人看到發(fā)生了什么。
Unfortunately, I wasn't only an observer. With no way to communicate, I became the perfect victim:
不幸的是，我不僅僅是一個觀察者，由于沒有溝通的能力，我變成了完美的受害者：
a defenseless object, seemingly devoid of feelings that people used to play out their darkest desires.
一個沒有防御的，看起來完全沒有感知的物體，變成了人們發(fā)泄黑暗欲望的完美工具。
For more than 10 years, people who were charged with my care abused me physically, verbally and sexually.
超過十年來，一些本應(yīng)該來照顧我的人，在肢體上、言語上、性行為上虐待我。
Despite what they thought, I did feel. The first time it happened, I was shocked and filled with disbelief.
無論他們?nèi)绾握J(rèn)為，我感知到了這一切。第一次發(fā)生這種事情時，我被震驚所淹沒。
How could they do this to me? I was confused. What had I done to deserve this? Part of me wanted to cry and another part wanted to fight.
他們怎么能這么對我？我非常疑惑。我做了什么竟遭受到如此對待？我的一部分極力的想要哭泣，另外的一部分極力的想要反抗。
Hurt, sadness and anger flooded through me, I felt worthless, there was no one to comfort me, but neither of my parents knew this was happening.
傷痛，悲愴以及激憤在我心中一涌而出，我覺得自已分文不值，沒有人能夠安慰我，但我的父母不知道這些事情的發(fā)生。
I lived in terror, knowing it would happen again and again. I just never knew when. All I knew was that I would never be the same.
我生活在恐懼之中，深知這一切將會一直重復(fù)下去。只是不知道何時會遭受下一次而已。我只知道我永遠(yuǎn)不再是曾經(jīng)的自己了。
I remember once listening to Whitney Houston singing, "No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity."
我想起曾聽到惠特尼·休斯頓唱道：“不論他們從我這里拿走了什么，他們永遠(yuǎn)帶不走我的尊嚴(yán)。”
And I thought to myself, "You want to bet?"
我自己想到，“你想打個賭么？”
