評論
打印
Hi Cam, So what have you been up to lately (bad joke)
嗨，小卡，你最近在忙什么呢(開了個糟糕的玩笑)
Thank you for your letter and apology. Your whole family's heart goes out to you. We're not embarrassed, we love you, just feel it's a hard road you've chosen.
謝謝你的來信和道歉。你全家都很同情你。我們并不尷尬，我們愛你，只是覺得你選擇了一條艱難的路。
You've got a lot of support out there, Cameron.
你得到了很多支持，卡梅隆。
I can't tell you the number of calls from friends I've received, all wishing you the best, and all speaking to what a great guy you are: smart, funny, considerate, brave ...
我無法告訴你我接到多少朋友的電話，他們都祝福你一切都好，都在說你是一個多么偉大的人：聰明、有趣、體貼、勇敢……
I haven't told the kids, and I think it's better that way.... Just know, Cameron, I say a prayer for you every day, and I do love you. Dad
我還沒告訴孩子們，我覺得這樣更好……你要知道，卡梅隆，我每天都為你祈禱，我真的愛你。爸爸
On January 27, 2010, I plead guilty to heroin possession and conspiracy to distribute drugs. I spend almost seven years behind bars.
2010年1月27日，我承認持有海洛因并密謀分銷毒品。我幾乎坐了七年牢。
During this time, I communicate with my family most by letter. Dad's letters range from loving to forceful to hopeless.
在這段時間里，我和家人的交流主要是通過書信。爸爸的信里有愛的，有強硬的，也有絕望的。
"I must admit, I haven't written because I didn't know what to say.")
“我必須承認，我沒有寫信，因為我不知道該說些什么?！?/p>
I find out from a fellow inmate that Dad has cancer, and that's when I promise myself I'm going to live my life differently when I get out of prison.
我從一個獄友那里得知，爸爸得了癌癥，那時我向自己承諾，當我出獄后，我要過一種不一樣的生活。
I'm worried Dad will die thinking of me as the failure who didn't live up to expectations. Dad calls a few times to talk, breaking down every so often.
我擔心爸爸至死都會認為我是一個沒有達到期望的失敗者。爸爸給我打了幾次電話，經常崩潰。
I'm glad he feels comfortable opening up to me. When his treatment is done, he visits with Dylan and Carys.
我很高興他對我敞開心扉。治療結束后，他和迪倫、凱瑞斯一起來看我。
I've never seen a body change so drastically in such a short time; it looks like a gust of wind might blow him over.
我從未見過身體在這么短的時間內發生如此劇烈的變化；好像一陣風就會把他吹倒。
The greatest Christmas present I could receive comes in January 2011, when Dad learns that his tumor is gone.
我收到的最好的圣誕禮物是在2011年1月，那時爸爸得知他的腫瘤不見了。
Not long after I get out of prison in August 2016, Dad invites me to have lunch with him and Dylan. He hasn't made much of an effort to see me.
2016年8月我出獄后不久，爸爸邀請我與他和迪倫共進午餐。他沒怎么盡力去看我。
Maybe he doesn't trust my sobriety, or my resolve to stay on the right side of the law.
也許他不相信我的清醒，或者我堅持守法的決心。
I don't want to say no to his invitation, but my halfway-house restrictions make the logistics tough for me.
我不想拒絕他的邀請，但由于過渡教習所限制，我進出困難。
I start thinking out loud about how I can make it work. "Forget it," he says. "What do you mean, I want to come."
我開始努力地思考我怎樣才能解決?！八懔税桑彼f?！澳闶裁匆馑?，我想去。”
"Nah, don't worry about it, it doesn't make sense." He hangs up. My feelings are hurt. A week later, I go over to his apartment and mention our last conversation.
“不，別想了，沒關系的。”他掛斷了電話。我的感情受到了傷害。一周后，我去了他的公寓，跟他說起我們上一次的談話。
My anger is getting the better of me. For an instant on Dad's face, I glimpse the effect of my outburst. I know I'm not going to escalate the situation; I know I'm of sound mind.
我怒氣沖沖。在爸爸臉上的那一瞬間，我瞥見了自己情緒爆發的后果。我知道我不要讓局面惡化，我知道我頭腦清醒。
But given where I've been, I can't expect other people to know that. Dad is starting to get to know me again and I'm relearning how to express my feelings appropriately.
但考慮到我的經歷，我不能指望別人知道這一點。爸爸又開始了解我了，我也在重新學習如何恰當地表達我的感受。
After that, we talk a few days a week and get together two or three times a month.
之后，我們每周交談幾天，每個月聚會兩三次。
One day Dad says, "I don't know how you did it. How you went through the things you did." I say, "Well, I'm home now." For my 39th birthday, Dad takes me out for a sushi lunch.
有一天，爸爸說：“我不知道你是怎么做到的。你是如何經歷你所做的事情的。”我說，“好吧，我現在回家了?！痹谖?9歲生日那天，爸爸帶我出去吃了一頓壽司。
We talk and laugh and he gives me fatherly advice about money and relationships, which I appreciate, as well as his old car, which is still pretty sharp.
我們有說有笑，他在金錢和人際關系方面給我慈父般的建議，我很欣賞這一點，還有他那輛仍然很閃亮的舊車。
When I get his and Catherine's Christmas card, I see that it says it's from them and Dylan and Carys and me, with a photo of us all. It feels good to be included.
我收到他和凱瑟琳的圣誕賀卡，看到上面寫著“來自他們、迪倫、卡里斯和我”，還有一張我們所有人的照片。被接納的感覺真好。
