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Dad gives me an ultimatum: go straight into in-patient rehab or that's it—he's not going to give me any more help or support. I don't go. Dad starts talking about Uncle Eric again.
爸爸給我下了最后通牒：要么直接進戒毒所，要么就這樣——他不會再給我任何幫助或支持了。我不去。爸爸又開始說起埃里克叔叔。
"You saw what his problems did to Pappy and Oma. I'm not going to let myself be drawn into this behavior anymore.
“你看到了他的問題對帕皮和奧瑪?shù)挠绊憽Ｎ也粫僮屪约壕砣脒@種行為。
I have young children and a wife I need to protect, meaning his second wife Catherine Zeta-Jones and their kids Dylan and Carys. This isn't fair to them."
我有年幼的孩子和妻子需要保護，即他的第二任妻子凱瑟琳·澤塔-瓊斯和他們的孩子迪倫和凱瑞斯。這對他們不公平。”
"Don't you love me anymore, Dad?""Of course I love you, Cameron. But I'm not going to nurture a relationship with you, because I think you're going to die. I've been seeing a therapist about it."
“你不再愛我了嗎，爸爸?”“我當然愛你，卡默倫。但我不會培養(yǎng)和你的關(guān)系，因為我覺得你會死。我去看心理醫(yī)生了。"
"What?""I think you're going to overdose, or someone's going to kill you, or you're going to kill someone. I'm trying to prepare myself emotionally."
“什么?”“我認為你會服藥過量，或者有人會殺了你，或者你會殺了別人。我試著在情緒上做好準備。”
Dad calls to say that he's heard I'm being investigated by the DEA. "Get out of your house immediately, they're coming for you." He's in town staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
爸爸打電話來說他聽說我正在接受緝毒局的調(diào)查。“馬上離開你的房子，他們來找你了。”他住在比弗利山莊酒店。
When I get there, I see that he's with a man I don't recognize. Mom is here too. Uh-oh."Jesus, Cameron, you're dealing now?"
當我到那里時，我看到他和一個我不認識的男人在一起。媽媽也在這里。哦。“天哪，卡梅隆，你現(xiàn)在在交易？”
The guy Dad is with extends a hand. "Earl Hightower," he says. He explains that he's a drug interventionist, but he's here because the feds are watching me.
和爸爸在一起的那個人伸出手。“海托爾伯爵，”他說。他解釋說他是毒品干涉主義者，但他在這里是因為聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局在監(jiān)視我。
Dad pleads with me to get out of the country. "This is a federal case, Dad. If they want to get me, they'll get me anywhere."
爸爸懇求我離開這個國家。“這是聯(lián)邦案件，爸爸。如果他們想抓到我，我到哪里他們都能找到我的。”
On July 28, 2009, when I've been a heroin addict for four-and-a-half years, I open my door and see a guy in a New York Yankees hat. He says, "I'm a special agent with the DEA."
2009年7月28日，我已經(jīng)吸食海洛因4年半了。我打開門，看到一個戴著紐約洋基隊帽子的人。他說，“我是緝毒局的特工。”
They take me down the back stairwell. At Metropolitan Correctional Center, I'm given an orange jumpsuit to put on.
他們把我?guī)У胶竺娴臉翘菥Ｔ诖蠖紩徒讨行模掖┥狭艘患壬倪B身衣。
Twelve brutalist stories of hulking brown ugliness, MCC holds nearly eight hundred inmates, all waiting to be tried or sentenced or to testify in other people's cases.
十二個粗笨丑陋的野獸派故事。MCC關(guān)押著近800名囚犯，他們都在等待審判、判刑或為他人作證。
Since it's a place for pretrial detention, it's a maximum-security facility, with some of the most depraved and violent prisoners from the most dangerous penitentiaries housed alongside people like me.
因為這是一個審前羈押的地方，它是一個最高安全級別的設(shè)施，一些來自最危險監(jiān)獄的最墮落、最暴力的囚犯和像我這樣的人關(guān)在一起。
I stare at the ceiling. It's cement in a honeycomb pattern. I close my eyes and a weight descends upon my chest. I'm really here. This is happening. Hey Pop . . .
我盯著天花板。它是蜂窩狀的水泥。我閉上眼睛，一個重物落在我的胸前。我真的在這里。這確實發(fā)生了。嘿，爸爸…
I'm sorry about all of this I really am . . .I really was shooting for bigger and better.
我對這一切感到抱歉我真的…我真的在追求更大更好的東西。
Also, please apologize to Pappy, Granny, and the rest of the family for all this, I feel really ashamed for being the source of any embarrassment and/or shame . . .
還有，請向爺爺、奶奶和其他家庭成員道歉，我為自己造成的任何尷尬和/或羞愧感到非常抱歉。
Thank you for your support and standing behind me on this one. It means the world to me. Your son, Cameron
謝謝你的支持，謝謝你在這件事上支持我。它對我來說意味著整個世界。你的兒子，卡梅隆
