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Trauma, Love & Becoming a Better Man: with rapper-actor Common
創(chuàng)傷，愛和成為一個更好的男人：說唱歌手演員Common
Opening up like never before, the star reflects on a haunting sexual assault, becoming a father and why he still hopes to find true love
這位明星從未像現(xiàn)在這樣敞開心扉，他反思了一場令人難忘的性侵事件，成為一名父親，以及為什么他仍然希望找到真愛
Seated inside a small Brooklyn café, the artist known as Common (born Lonnie Rashid Lynn) looks up from his hot tea to see a group of teens staring in through the window.
這位名為Common的藝術家（原名朗尼·拉希德·林恩）坐在布魯克林一家小咖啡館里，喝完熱茶抬起頭來，看到一群十幾歲的孩子正透過窗戶往里看。
He smiles warmly and gives a wave as the group celebrates their celeb spotting before continuing down the block.
他熱情地笑了笑，向大家揮手示意慶祝他們發(fā)現(xiàn)明星，然后他們沿著街走了。
They're blissfully unaware that while they were gawking, he was in the middle of rehashing some of his life's most painful moments.
他們很幸運，沒有意識到當他們呆呆地看著他的時候，他正在重溫他生命中一些最痛苦的時刻。
"As stars, we put ourselves out there and act like everything is good, everything is perfect," he says.
他說：“作為明星，我們在公眾面前，表現(xiàn)得好像一切都很好，一切都很完美。”
"But we all have wounds in our life. I want people to know that we all go through stuff. And we all need support and help."
“但我們的生活中都有傷痛。我想讓人們知道我們都會經(jīng)歷一些事情。我們都需要支持和幫助?！?/p>
The Grammy-and Oscar-winning rapper, actor and activist is well-known for his poignant and poetic way with words.
這位格萊美獎和奧斯卡獎得主、說唱歌手、演員和活動家以其辛辣而富有詩意的語言方式而聞名。
At the 2015 Oscars he and John Legend moved many in the audience to tears during the stirring performance of their civil rights anthem "Glory." But now the star, 47, is digging deeper.
在2015年的奧斯卡頒獎典禮上，他和約翰·傳奇在演唱民權歌曲《榮耀》時激動人心的表演讓很多觀眾潸然淚下。但現(xiàn)在這位47歲的明星更加深入。
In his newly released memoir Let Love Have the Last Word, Common examines his greatest hardships—the trauma of being molested around age 9, his strained relationship with his adult daughter Omoye, 21, and the repeated heartache of numerous breakups.
在他最新出版的回憶錄《讓愛來做最后的決定》中，Common審視了他最大的痛苦——9歲左右被猥褻的創(chuàng)傷，他與21歲的成年女兒奧莫伊(Omoye)的緊張關系，以及無數(shù)次分手后反復出現(xiàn)的心痛。
In revealing so much, Common hopes to show that—with forgiveness and a good amount of therapy—peace and happiness are attainable. "We've got to start shifting our perspective," he says.
揭示這么多，Common希望表明，借助原諒和大量的治療，和平和幸福是可以實現(xiàn)的?！拔覀儽仨氶_始轉(zhuǎn)變觀點，”他說。
"Everything can be overcome with love." What was your goal with this book? Were you worried at all about being so open and vulnerable?
“愛可以戰(zhàn)勝一切?！蹦銓戇@本書的目的是什么？你真的擔心自己會如此開放和脆弱嗎？
I wanted to go places where I feel like as a black man we don't always go. It hasn't been part of our culture.
我想去的地方，我覺得作為一個黑人，我們并不總是去。這不是我們文化的一部分。
When I was talking about being molested, it was like man, you know what? I'm going to write about this.
當我說到被猥褻的時候，就像男人，你知道嗎？我要寫下來。
In black and brown communities we do deal with this. I've visited prisons where men are like, "I was sexually abused."
在黑人和棕色人種的社區(qū)里，我們確實要處理這個問題。我去過監(jiān)獄，那里的男人說，“我被性虐待了?！?/p>
A guy on my own team came to me and said, "It happened to me when I was younger." I'm not caring about the stigma. I'm going to speak it with the hope that other people heal from it.
我的團隊里有一個人對我說：“我年輕的時候就發(fā)生過這種事。”我不在乎恥辱。我想說的是希望其他人能從中恢復過來。
You write that a male family friend sexually abused you while you both shared a bed during a family trip when you were 9 or 10, and it caused you to instantly feel "a deep and sudden shame."
你寫道，在你9歲或10歲的一次家庭旅行中，當你和一位男性的家人的朋友同床時，他對你進行性侵犯，這讓你立刻感到“深深的、突然的羞恥”。
What was your coping mechanism? I kind of wiped that out of my mind for a while. For a long time. I had a tendency to do that, to tuck things away in a corner.
你的應對機制是什么?我暫時忘記了這一點。很長一段時間。我有這樣的傾向，把東西藏在角落里。
My journey back to it came with all the work I've been doing on myself, from prayer to meditation to therapy to art.
我回想起這件事的時候，我為自己做了很多，從祈禱到冥想，從治療到藝術。
I didn't even realize it happened until I was doing a film called The Tale, which deals with that subject matter.
直到我拍了一部叫《故事》的電影，才意識到這件事的發(fā)生，那部電影以此為主題。
I actually told my costar Laura Dern, "Yo, I think this happened to me." It just started coming back to me.
事實上，我告訴我的搭檔勞拉·鄧恩，“嘿，我想這事發(fā)生在我身上了。”我開始想起來了。
