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What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk.
這群人有什么共同之處？我對辦公用品有點癡迷，但這是另一個話題了。
So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research?
我有一個牛皮紙文件夾，還有一個三福極好筆，我心想，我該怎么給這項研究命名呢？
And the first words that came to my mind were "whole-hearted." These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness.
第一個蹦入我腦子的是全心全意這個詞。這是一群全心全意，靠著一種強烈的自我價值感在生活的人們。
So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data.
所以我在牛皮紙夾的上端這樣寫道，而后我開始查看數據。
In fact, I did it first in a four-day, very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled the interviews, the stories, pulled the incidents. What's the theme?
事實上，我開始是用四天時間集中分析數據，我從頭找出那些采訪，找出其中的故事和事件。主題是什么？
What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode.
有什么規律？我丈夫帶著孩子離開了小鎮，因為我老是陷入像杰克遜·波洛克（美國近代抽象派畫家）似的瘋狂狀態，我一直在寫，完全沉浸在研究的狀態中。
And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage.
下面是我的發現。這些人的共同之處在于勇氣。
And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute.
我想在這里先花一分鐘跟大家區分一下勇氣和膽量。
Courage, the original definition of courage,when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart" --
勇氣，最初的定義，當它剛出現在英文里的時候--是從拉丁文cor，意為心，演變過來的--
and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.
最初的定義是真心地敘述一個故事，告訴大家你是誰的。
And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect.
所以這些人就具有勇氣，承認自己不完美。
They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others,
他們具有同情心，先是對自己的，再是對他人的，
because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly.
因為，事實是，我們如果不能善待自己，我們也無法善待他人。
And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity,
最后一點，他們都能和他人建立關系，這是很難做到的--前提是他們必須坦誠，
they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.
他們愿意放開自己設定的那個理想的自我，以換取真正的自我，這是贏得關系的必要條件。
