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But to let go of the debilitating fear of failure and yet maintain my drive/ambition. So more in nuance understanding that you need to go hand in hand.
但是要擺脫這種消磨人意志的恐懼，同時保存我的動力和雄心。就必須要理解兩者是密不可分的
Or, I can't, you know, I never used to be able to say no to people.
又或者，你們知道我以前不會對人說不
You know, such a short word, such an easy word, so difficult at times to say.
這么短小的一個詞，簡單的一個詞，有時候是那么難以說出口
Why? Because I see myself and now I want other people to see me as empathic as sensitive as under... as a nice guy.
為什么？因為我眼中的自己和我希望別人眼中的自己是有同情心的
And then I unpack the two. And it really doesn't have to hand in hand. I can say no to people very sensitively
善解人意的，是老好人，于是我把兩者拆開了，它們并不一定要連在一起，我可以善解人意的說不
because very often when I say yes to others, I'm saying no to myself, and in the long term, very often to the relationship.
因為很多時候當我對別人說好，我其實同時在對自己說不，從長遠來看，也是在對親密關系說不
So now I had a better more nuance understanding of when I can say no and when I don't want to say no
所以現在我更好更深入的了解了，我什么時候能說不，什么時候不想說
while maintaining my sensitivity and my empathy without experiencing the same levels of guilt that I experienced before whenever I said no.
同時，我還能保留自己的善解人意和同情心，也不必在每次說不的時候感到有種罪惡感
And the same you can do for everyone of these, of these characteristics. So think about
這里列出來的每種品格都是可以被拆開的。大家可以想想
what if you wanted to change for a very long time and weren't successful in.
有哪些品性是你很久以前就想改掉，卻改不掉的
Was it perfectionism? Was it, you know this very serious grimness? And you wanted to be more playful?
對完美主義的追求？還是嚴酷無情？還是你想變得更頑皮活潑
Well maybe you didn't want to get rid of it because you were afraid of losing you seriousness.
也許你并不想擺脫這種個性，因為害怕自己會失去嚴肅認真的品性
And you don't need do.
其實你根本不需要失去
The baby can stay, the bath water can go if we have a more nuance understanding of what it is we want to change.
把嬰兒留下，把洗澡水倒掉，前提是我們能搞清楚我們到底想改變什么
