Caring about what other people think of you is part of being a normal human being.
在意別人對你的看法是你作為正常人的一部分。
In fact, scientists in one study found that the reward center in people's brains was active when they were told that someone approved their taste in music.
事實上，科學家在一次研究中發現，當人們得知有人贊同他們的音樂品味時，大腦中的獎勵中心就會變的活躍。
It's only a problem when you're consumed by worries about your reputation—when every decision about what to wear, who to hang out with, and even what career to pursue are based on the fear of looking stupid.
當你過分擔心自己的聲譽時，這才會是個問題——你害怕自己的決定會看起來很愚蠢，比如穿什么、跟誰出去逛、甚至追求什么職業等。
Unfortunately, this habit is hard to shake. To help you out, we consulted the Quora thread, "How can I stop worrying about what other people think?" and highlighted the most compelling responses.
不幸的是，這個習慣很難撼動。為了幫助你擺脫這種局面，我們咨詢了Quora（問答網站），“我怎樣才能停止擔心別人的想法？”并且把最有說服力的回應摘出來。
Read on to embrace the full experience of being yourself.
閱讀并吸取全部的經驗，做你自己。

1. Remember that people aren't that interested in you
記住人們對你并沒有那么感興趣
Several Quora users mentioned that people generally don't care about you as much as you think they do.
好幾個Quora用戶都提到人們通常不像你想的那樣關注你。
Sibell Loitz, for example, prompts readers to consider how much time they spend thinking about others and their behavior: "not that much time."
比如，Sibell Loitz促使讀者仔細思考，他們花多少時間去想別人和自己的行為。“沒多少時間?！?br />Psychologists call the tendency to overestimate how much other people pay attention to you the "spotlight effect." In a 2000 study, highlighted on Tech Insider, people were asked to attend a party wearing a t-shirt with a picture of XXX on it (it was supposed to be embarrassing).
高估別人對你的關注程度，心理學家把這稱為“焦點效應”。在2000年《技術內幕》發表的研究中，人們被要求穿著印有巴瑞·曼尼洛照片的T恤參加一個派對（這應該很尷尬）。
Sure enough, those people significantly overestimated how much the other people at the party noticed their t-shirt.
果然，那些人大大地高估了派對上其他人對他們T恤的關注。
2. Tell yourself a different story
告訴自己一個不一樣的故事
No one can make you think or feel a certain way—it's all about the way you interpret their behavior. So by changing that interpretation, you might be able to make yourself think and feel more positively.
沒有人能讓你按照固定的方式思考或感受，是你去選擇如何解釋他們的行為。所以通過改變這種解釋，你可能讓自己更積極地思考或感受。
Karen Renee gives an example. Maybe you habitually tell yourself: "Today I [action] and everyone laughed. They must think I'm stupid. I'm stupid. Everyone knows I'm stupid. I can't face them again!"
Karen Renee給出了一個例子。也許你會習慣性地告訴自己：“今天我（動作）和其他人都笑了。他們一定會認為我很傻。我很傻。每個人都知道我很傻。我無法再次面對他們了！”
Instead, Renee says you might tell yourself: "Today I [action] and everyone laughed. I think I cheered up a couple of people who were having a bad day, even if it was by accident..."
相反，Renee說你可以這樣告訴你自己：“今天我（動作）和其他人都笑了。我覺得我鼓舞了一對今天過的很糟糕的夫婦，即使是意外……”
Renee cites Brene Brown's research on getting over shame, and worrying what other people think of you. Brown recently told Tech Insider that her No. 1 "life hack" for lasting relationships is to recognize that your perception of your partner's behavior is "the story I'm making up."
Renee引用Brene Brown的研究來克服羞愧以及對別人想法的擔心。Brown最近告訴《技術內幕》，她維持關系的頭號“生活技巧”，就是意識到自己對伴侶行為的認知是源于“我自己編的故事。”
"Basically," she said, "you're telling the other person your reading of the situation—and simultaneously admitting that you know it can't be 100% accurate."
“基本上，”她說，“你在告訴其他人你對形勢的看法，同時承認你知道這不是百分之百準確的。”
3. Meet more people
見更多的人
Marie Stein recommends diluting someone's strong negative opinion of you by getting lots of other perspectives.
Marie Stein建議通過更多其他方面的視角來稀釋別人對你強烈的負面觀點。
"The more people you meet, the more you will realize that every one has a different opinion," she writes. "The only opinion about you that matters, that sticks with you for your whole life, and that you can control, is your own."
“你遇見的人越多，你越會意識到每個人都有不同的觀點，”她寫到?！拔ㄒ粚δ阒匾?、貫穿你生活始終、并且你也可以控制的觀點，就是你自己的觀點?！?br />4. Try to make others comfortable
試著讓別人感到舒適
"How do you know that others with whom you share company are not themselves insecure?" writes Aurora Clawson.
Aurora Clawson寫到，“你怎么知道你分享陪伴的人會不會有不安全感呢？”
"Others may act secure, but so many time[s] that is an act. How about making a point of helping others feel comfortable? Be a nurturer and you won't have to worry about how others think of you."
“其他人可能會表現得可靠，但大多數時候那是一種行為。如何表明幫助別人能感到舒適呢？作為一個養育著，你不必擔心別人如何看待你?！?br />Clawson is right—research suggests that we're generally pretty bad at guessing how much others are struggling. Think about what you can do to make their lives easier, and you may find that your personal concerns are less salient.
Clawson是對的。研究表明，我們通常很不擅長推測別人的奮斗情況。想想你做什么能讓他們的生活更容易一些，你可能會發現你的個人擔憂不是很突出。
5. Focus on controlling your thoughts, not theirs
集中精力控制你自己的思想，而不是其他人的
Gennaro Cuofano points out that you don't have control over others' thoughts: "Therefore if you spend even one minute of mental energy focusing on what others think of you, you are wasting time and energies."
Gennaro Cuofano指出，你不必控制別人的思想：“因此，如果你花費了乃至一分鐘的腦力去擔心別人如何看待你，你就是在浪費時間和精力。”
Instead, he suggests trying to manage your own thoughts about the situation.
相反，他建議盡量控制自己對于不同情況的想法。
Meanwhile, psychotherapist Amy Morin writes that mentally strong people rarely focus on things they can't control. Once you shift your focus away from those things, you'll likely be happier and less stressed.
同時，心理治療師Amy Morin寫到，精神強大的人很少把注意力放在他們不能控制的事情上。一旦你把注意力從那些事情上移開，你可能會變得更加快樂，壓力也更小。
6. Don't try to please everyone
別試圖取悅每個人
Multiple Quora users told the same story, about two people and a donkey, which points to the foolishness of trying to please everyone.
許多Quora用戶告訴我一個同樣的故事，關于兩個人和一頭驢子，反映了試圖取悅每個人的愚蠢。
At first, two people are riding a donkey, and passersby call them cruel. Then, one person rides the donkey while the other walks, and passersby call the rider selfish. They switch positions and now the new rider is called selfish.
起初，兩個人騎著一頭驢子，路人說他們殘忍。然后，一個人騎著驢子另一個人走路，路人說騎驢的人自私。他們交換了位置，現在那個新的騎驢人被人說自私。
Finally, both people walk alongside the donkey and passersby laugh at them for not knowing how to ride a donkey.
最后，兩個人都步行在驢子旁邊，路人嘲笑他們不知道如何騎驢。
The moral of the story, says Syeda Ratal Zehra, is that "people will always judge you no matter what."
Syeda Ratal Zehra說，故事的寓意是“不管什么情況，人們總會評判你?！?br />7. Know that it's okay to care what others think
認識到在意別人的想法是可以的
It's fine to care about your reputation. The key is not letting that concern overwhelm you.
關心你的名譽是好事。關鍵是不要讓關心壓倒你。
Marissa Russell writes:
Marissa Russell寫到：
"You can never fully stop caring how other people think of you.
“你永遠不可能完全不去關心別人如何看待你。
"Because human beings are the gatekeepers to so many of the things we strive for in life (job hirings, promotions, award nominations, building a clientele, finding a life partner, etc), what people think of you actually does matter in various cases.
“因為人類為了生活中如此多的事情在努力奮斗（工作崗位，晉升，獎勵提名，建立客戶，尋找生活伴侶，等等），人們如何看待你在很多場合確實是很重要的。
"The key to inner freedom is to care more about what you think of you than what outsiders think of you."
“內在自由的關鍵是更多地關心你對自己的看法，而不是外在對你的看法?！?br />