So my name is Amy Webb,
我的名字呢,叫艾米·韋伯
and a few years ago I found myself at the end
幾年前,我發現自己走到
of yet another fantastic relationship
又一段美好戀情的盡頭
that came burning down in a spectacular fashion.
一切絢麗消逝
And I thought, you know, what's wrong with me?
你說我,到底怎么了?
I don't understand why this keeps happening.
真不懂,為什么每次都這樣
So I asked everybody in my life
我就去問,身邊的人
what they thought.
看他們,怎么想
I turned to my grandmother,
我找到,姥姥
who always had plenty of advice,
她總有,很多忠告
and she said, "Stop being so picky.
她說 “別太挑剔了"
You've got to date around.
“你得,多跟人談談"
And most importantly,
“還有,最重要的是“
true love will find you when you least expect it."
“順其自然,緣分始終會來的“
Now as it turns out,
而實際上
I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data,
我這個人,總要找依據
as you'll soon find.
這點相信你,很快會發現
I am constantly swimming in numbers
我總是沉浸在,數字當中
and formulas and charts.
長期和公式,圖表打交道
I also have a very tight-knit family,
同時,我的家庭,非常和睦
and I'm very, very close with my sister,
我和姐姐,關系特別好
and as a result, I wanted to have
所以,從小我就想
the same type of family when I grew up.
長大以后,要有一個溫暖的大家庭
So I'm at the end of this bad breakup,
所以這次分手,很傷心
I'm 30 years old,
我當時30歲
I figure I'm probably going to have
想著,起碼要和下一任
to date somebody for about six months
交往6個月
before I'm ready to get monogamous
才能真正,確定關系
and before we can sort of cohabitate,
然后再考慮,搬一起住
and we have to have that happen for a while before we can get engaged.
之后再過段時間,才考慮訂婚
And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35,
所以,如果想在35歲之前,要孩子
that meant that I would have had to have been
就意味著我必須
on my way to marriage five years ago.
提前5年為結婚做準備
So that wasn't going to work.
很明顯,那行不通
If my strategy was to least-expect my way
如果換個思路 “順其自然”等緣分
into true love, then the variable that I had
那么,我要面臨的變數
to deal with was serendipity.
是運氣
In short, I was trying to figure out, well,
簡單來說,我想探個究竟,看看
what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right?
隨緣偶遇真命天子,概率有多高
Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia,
當時我呢,住在費城
and it's a big city, and I figured,
這是個大城市,所以我判斷
in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities.
地方越大,機會越大
So again, I started doing some math.
接著我又開始,算數了
Population of Philadelphia: It has 1.5 million people.
費城人口:總共150萬
I figure about half of that are men,
估計,一半是男性
so that takes the number down to 750,000.
有效人數,下降到75萬
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36,
我的目標是 30到36歲之間的男性
which was only four percent of the population,
他們,占這部分人口的4%
so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men.
算起來,可能剩下3萬人
I was looking for somebody who was Jewish,
我要找,猶太人
because that's what I am and that was important to me.
因為我本身也是,這點很重要
That's only 2.3 percent of the population.
他們只占,這部分人口的2.3%
I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10
然后,估計10個人當中,
of those men,
有1個我喜歡
and there was no way I was going
還有,我和愛打高爾夫的,
to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer.
完全合不來
So that basically meant there were 35 men for me
也就是說,對我而言
that I could possibly date
費城總共有35位男士,適宜約會
in the entire city of Philadelphia.
在整個費城!
In the meantime, my very large Jewish family
與此同時,我們猶太大家族
was already all married and well on their way
其他成員,全部都結了婚
to having lots and lots of children,
而且還生了,很多很多孩子
and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure
所以我總有,巨大的壓力和緊迫感
to get my life going already.
要盡快解決,人生大事
So if I have two possible strategies at this point
這時候,我有兩個辦法
I'm sort of figuring out.
我發現
One, I can take my grandmother's advice
一是,可以聽姥姥的話
and sort of least-expect my way
嘗試“順其自然”
into maybe bumping into the one
碰上那一位
out of 35 possible men in the entire
在費城茫茫 150萬人海中
1.5 million-person city of Philadelphia,
偶遇那35位男士,其中的一位
or I could try online dating.
又或者,我可以試試婚戀網
Now, I like the idea of online dating,
其實我挺喜歡,這個概念
because it's predicated on an algorithm,
因為我們可以,用運算規則推算結果
and that's really just a simple way of saying
所謂運算規則,其實很簡單
I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data,
當我們遇到問題,只要收集數據
run it through a system
放到系統里面,
and get to a solution.
就能找到解決辦法
So online dating is the second most popular way
婚戀網,現在已經成為大家
that people now meet each other,
互相認識的,第二大途徑
but as it turns out, algorithms have been around
不過,網站的運算規則
for thousands of years in almost every culture.
在幾千年前,就可以找到
In fact, in Judaism, there were matchmakers
例如猶太族,
a long time ago, and though
從很早以前就有媒人
they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se,
雖然他們沒有,列出公式
they definitely were running through formulas in their heads,
但在腦子里,一定琢磨過這些問題
like, is the girl going to like the boy?
比如,女孩會喜歡男孩嗎?
Are the families going to get along?
兩家人能處得來嗎?
What's the rabbi going to say?
拉比(猶太教教師或法學導師)會怎么說?
Are they going to start having children right away?
他們會不會馬上生孩子?
And the matchmaker would sort of think through all of this,
媒人們會,先想好這些問題
put two people together, and that would be the end of it.
再把兩個人湊到一起,就完事了
So in my case, I thought,
而我呢,我想
well, will data and an algorithm
能不能通過數據和公式
lead me to my Prince Charming?
幫我找到白馬王子?
So I decided to sign on.
我決定注冊
Now, there was one small catch.
這里還有一個小插曲
As I'm signing on to the various dating websites,
我開設了幾個婚戀網帳戶
as it happens, I was really, really busy.
碰巧那段時間特別,特別忙
But that actually wasn't the biggest problem.
不過那還不是,最大的問題
The biggest problem is that I hate
最大的,問題是
filling out questionnaires of any kind,
我討厭填,問答表
and I certainly don't like questionnaires
尤其不喜歡,
that are like Cosmo quizzes.
時尚雜志小編愛問的題目