評論
打印
Well, one month later,
一個月，之后
I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis.
我收集了大量數據，足夠再分析一回
And as it turns out, content matters a lot.
結果發現，內容很重要
So smart people tend to write a lot --
聰明的人，往往寫很多 — —
3,000, 4,000,
3、4千
5,000 words about themselves,
甚至5千字，自我介紹
which may all be very, very interesting.
也許真的，非常非常有意思
The challenge here, though, is that
但，很難匹敵
the popular men and women
最受歡迎男女
are sticking to 97 words on average
精選的
that are written very, very well,
97個字
even though it may not seem like it all the time.
雖然我們不一定，感覺得到
The other sort of hallmark of the people who do this well
高手們的另外一個殺手锏
is that they're using non-specific language.
是不特定語言
So in my case, you know,
以我為例，你看
"The English Patient" is my most favorite movie ever,
"英國病人"是我，最喜歡的電影
but it doesn't work to use that in a profile,
但它不適合，放在個人檔案里面
because that's a superficial data point,
因為這是一個，膚淺的數據點
and somebody may disagree with me
有人可能，會有不同意見
and decide they don't want to go out with me
并且，決定不和我約會
because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie.
僅僅因為他們不愿意，花三個小時看一場電影
Also, optimistic language matters a lot.
還有，積極正面的語言很重要
So this is a word cloud
看這些關鍵詞
highlighting the most popular words that were used
里面是，最常用的詞語
by the most popular women,
最受歡迎女性，都在用
words like "fun" and "girl" and "love."
比如 "有趣" “女孩”，還有 “愛”
And what I realized was not that I had
后來，我意識到
to dumb down my own profile.
沒必要寫一個，低智商簡介
Remember, I'm somebody who said
還記得嗎，我說
that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript
我能講流利的日語，并且熟悉網頁編碼
and I was okay with that.
這些都，沒問題
The difference is that it's about being more approachable
重點是，怎么寫，讓自己顯得更親切
and helping people understand
讓別人知道，
the best way to reach out to you.
怎么采取主動
And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important.
除此之外，時機也非常重要
Just because you have access
當我們拿到
to somebody's mobile phone number
別人的，手機號碼
or their instant message account
或者，聊天帳號
and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake,
碰巧凌晨2點還沒睡
doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people.
也許不是，聯系他們的好時機
The popular women on these online sites
最受歡迎的女性
spend an average of 23 hours
一般會等 23小時
in between each communication.
再進行，下一次溝通
And that's what we would normally do
這也是我們，
in the usual process of courtship.
約會時的常規
And finally, there were the photos.
最后，輪到照片了
All of the women who were popular
所有，受歡迎女性
showed some skin.
都會，露一些
They all looked really great,
她們，看起來很棒
which turned out to be in sharp contrast
形成，鮮明對比的
to what I had uploaded.
是我當時，上傳的照片
Once I had all of this information,
掌握了，這些信息之后
I was able to create a super profile,
我建立了一個，超級檔案
so it was still me,
我，還是我
but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem.
只是，在這個生態系統當中，更優化的我
And as it turns out, I did a really good job.
事實證明，我做得很不錯
I was the most popular person online.
成了婚戀網，最受歡迎的人
And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me.
后來，特別特別多男人想和我約會
So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother.
我又打電話給，媽媽，姐姐，和姥姥
I'm telling them about this fabulous news,
告訴她們，這個好消息
and they say, "This is wonderful!
她們說 "真棒 ！“
How soon are you going out?"
“什么時候開始約會呀？"
And I said, "Well, actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody."
然后我說 "嗯，我不會跟任何一個約會的"
Because remember, in my scoring system,
因為，記得吧，要在計分系統
they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points,
至少達到700分才行
and none of them have done that.
這些男士們，都還不夠
They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky."
她們就說 "什么？你還是太挑剔了"
Well, not too long after that,
然后，沒過多久
I found this guy, Thevenin,
我發現這個人，戴文寧（Thevenin）
and he said that he was culturally Jewish,
他說他，接受猶太風俗
he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter,
還說他的工作是，獵捕北極小海豹
which I thought was very clever.
我覺得，這個說法很有意思
He talked in detail about travel.
他詳談了很多，關于旅行的事
He made a lot of really interesting cultural references.
引用了各種，有趣的文化
He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted,
他外表和談吐，都是我想要的
and immediately, he scored 850 points.
當場就，拿下850分
It was enough for a date.
夠約會了
Three weeks later, we met up in person
三個星期之后，我們見面
for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation
談了足足14小時
that went from coffee shop to restaurant
從咖啡店，到餐廳
to another coffee shop to another restaurant,
到另一家咖啡廳，再到下一家餐廳
and when he dropped me back off at my house that night
那天晚上，他送我回家之后
I re-scored him --
我重新評估
1,050 points! --
1,050分!--
thought, you know what,
看來
this entire time I haven't been picky enough.
我一直還，不夠挑剔
Well, a year and a half after that,
一年半之后
we were non-cruise ship traveling
我們去旅游，當然沒有坐游船
through Petra, Jordan,
在約旦的，佩特拉
when he got down on his knee and proposed.
他單膝下跪，求婚
A year after that, we were married,
一年之后，我們結婚
and about a year and a half after that, our daughter,
又過了一年半，我們的女兒
Petra, was born.
佩特拉，出生了
Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so --
可以看到，我很享受這段精彩人生，不過
the question is, what does all of this mean for you?
問題是，這一切對你有什么意義？
Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love.
事實可以證明，愛有計算規則
It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online.
但不是我們，在網上看到的那些
In fact, it's something that you write yourself.
而是，你自己寫出來的
So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife
所以無論你要，尋覓另一半
or you're trying to find your passion
還是，找回激情
or you're trying to start a business,
又或者，要創業
all you have to really do is figure out your own framework
只需要，真真切切地，找出自己的框架
and play by your own rules,
按自己的規則，進行發揮
and feel free to be as picky as you want.
愛多挑剔，就多挑剔
Well, on my wedding day,
最后，在我的婚禮上
I had a conversation again with my grandmother,
我和姥姥，又談了一回
and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong.
她說 "好吧，也許是我錯了“
It looks like you did come up with
“看來，你確實做了”
a really, really great system.
“一個，很棒很厲害的系統“
Now, your matzoh balls.
“可是，你的瑪索球”
They should be fluffy, not hard."
“該松軟些，不能太硬了”
And I'll take her advice on that.
這個意見，我贊成
