評(píng)論
打印
Should she say, "You're just like everyone else but a little bit shorter?"
她應(yīng)該說(shuō)“你和其他人一樣，只是矮了點(diǎn)兒”？
Or should she try to construct some kind of dwarf identity,
還是去試圖建立某種小矮人身份認(rèn)同
get involved in the Little People of America,
加入美國(guó)小個(gè)子聯(lián)盟
become aware of what was happening for dwarfs?
開(kāi)始了解矮人生活圈的那些事？
And I suddenly thought,
然后我突然想到
most deaf children are born to hearing parents.
大多數(shù)耳聾孩子的父母，都是聽(tīng)力健全的
Those hearing parents tend to try to cure them.
那些聽(tīng)力健全的父母，總是試圖去治愈他們的孩子
Those deaf people discover community somehow in adolescence.
那些聾人要差不多到青春期的時(shí)候，才開(kāi)始接觸聾人群體
Most gay people are born to straight parents.
大多數(shù)同性戀者的父母是異性戀
Those straight parents often want them to function
那些異性戀父母常常希望，他們的孩子表現(xiàn)得
in what they think of as the mainstream world,
如他們認(rèn)為的主流世界所期望的那樣
and those gay people have to discover identity later on.
那些同性戀者不得不長(zhǎng)大后才尋找身份認(rèn)同
And here was this friend of mine
再說(shuō)說(shuō)我的這個(gè)朋友
looking at these questions of identity with her dwarf daughter.
面對(duì)這些關(guān)于她小矮人女兒身份認(rèn)同的問(wèn)題
And I thought, there it is again:
然后我想，又是這樣
A family that perceives itself to be normal
一個(gè)認(rèn)為自己正常的家庭
with a child who seems to be extraordinary.
有著一個(gè)特殊的孩子
And I hatched the idea that there are really two kinds of identity.
我想，事實(shí)上，身份認(rèn)同分為兩種類型
There are vertical identities,
有垂直身份認(rèn)同
which are passed down generationally from parent to child.
從父母到孩子，代代相傳
Those are things like ethnicity, frequently nationality, language, often religion.
也有像是種族，國(guó)際，語(yǔ)言，宗教
Those are things you have in common with your parents and with your children.
你和你的父母,孩子擁有共同點(diǎn),
And while some of them can be difficult,
而有些身份較難識(shí)別,
there's no attempt to cure them.
但并不需要嘗試去改變
You can argue that it's harder in the United States --
你可以爭(zhēng)辯說(shuō)，在美國(guó)
our current presidency notwithstanding --
作為有色人種生存艱難
to be a person of color.
盡管我們現(xiàn)任的總統(tǒng)是有色人種
And yet, we have nobody who is trying to ensure
確實(shí)，沒(méi)人試圖去保證
that the next generation of children born to African-Americans and Asians
非洲裔美國(guó)人，亞洲裔的孩子們
come out with creamy skin and yellow hair.
生來(lái)就有著奶油色的皮膚和金黃的頭發(fā)
There are these other identities which you have to learn from a peer group.
還有一些身份認(rèn)同，是你從同齡人群中獲得的
And I call them horizontal identities,
我稱它們?yōu)樗缴矸菡J(rèn)同
because the peer group is the horizontal experience.
因?yàn)楹屯橐黄鸹顒?dòng)，接觸，是所謂的一種經(jīng)驗(yàn)
These are identities that are alien to your parents
這些身份認(rèn)同與你從父母處得來(lái)的不同
and that you have to discover when you get to see them in peers.
你需要通過(guò)接觸同伴自己發(fā)掘
And those identities, those horizontal identities,
這種身份認(rèn)同，我指的是水平身份認(rèn)同
people have almost always tried to cure.
就是人們最希望去治愈的部分
And I wanted to look at what the process is
我想要研究的是，這是怎樣的過(guò)程
through which people who have those identities
有著這些身份認(rèn)同的人們
come to a good relationship with them.
是怎么和他們保持好的關(guān)系的
And it seemed to me that there were three levels of acceptance
在我看來(lái)，有三種
that needed to take place.
不同程度的接受
There's self-acceptance, there's family acceptance, and there's social acceptance.
這三種是，自我接受，家庭接納，社會(huì)接納
And they don't always coincide.
它們并不一定同步發(fā)生
And a lot of the time, people who have these conditions are very angry
很多時(shí)候，這樣的人很易怒
because they feel as though their parents don't love them,
因?yàn)樗麄冇X(jué)得，他們的父母并不愛(ài)他們
when what actually has happened is that their parents don't accept them.
真實(shí)的情況是，他的父母不接受他們
Love is something that ideally is there unconditionally
最理想的愛(ài)就是父母和孩子
throughout the relationship between a parent and a child.
之間那種無(wú)條件的愛(ài)
But acceptance is something that takes time.
但接受是需要時(shí)間
It always takes time.
接受總是需要時(shí)間的
One of the dwarfs I got to know was a guy named Clinton Brown.
我認(rèn)識(shí)的一個(gè)小矮人，名叫克林頓布朗
When he was born, he was diagnosed with diastrophic dwarfism,
他出生的時(shí)候，就被診斷為畸形侏儒癥
a very disabling condition,
他的殘疾非常嚴(yán)重
and his parents were told that he would never walk, he would never talk,
他的父母被告知，他永久喪失行走能力和語(yǔ)言能力
he would have no intellectual capacity,
他也沒(méi)有獲取知識(shí)的能力
and he would probably not even recognize them.
他甚至也不會(huì)認(rèn)識(shí)他的父母
And it was suggested to them that they leave him at the hospital
醫(yī)院給他父母的建議是，把他留在醫(yī)院
so that he could die there quietly.
他可以在那里平靜地離世
And his mother said she wasn't going to do it.
他的母親說(shuō)，她不會(huì)這樣做
And she took her son home.
她把她的兒子帶回了家
And even though she didn't have a lot of educational or financial advantages,
盡管她沒(méi)有什么學(xué)歷，也不是很富有
she found the best doctor in the country
她還是找到了治療畸形侏儒癥
for dealing with diastrophic dwarfism,
全國(guó)最頂級(jí)的醫(yī)生
and she got Clinton enrolled with him.
她讓克林頓接受治療
And in the course of his childhood,
他的童年
he had 30 major surgical procedures.
經(jīng)歷了 30次重大外科手術(shù)
And he spent all this time stuck in the hospital
他一直待在醫(yī)院里
while he was having those procedures,
而正是這些治療過(guò)程
as a result of which he now can walk.
讓他現(xiàn)在有了行走的能力
And while he was there, they sent tutors around to help him with his school work.
他在住院期間，醫(yī)院請(qǐng)了家庭教師來(lái)指導(dǎo)他的功課
And he worked very hard because there was nothing else to do.
他學(xué)習(xí)非常努力，因?yàn)樗麤](méi)有別的事可做
And he ended up achieving at a level
最終，他達(dá)到了
that had never before been contemplated by any member of his family.
他家庭內(nèi)任何成員，都從未達(dá)到過(guò)的高度
He was the first one in his family, in fact, to go to college,
他是他的家庭成員里，第一個(gè)去上大學(xué)的人
where he lived on campus and drove a specially-fitted car
他住在學(xué)校宿舍并且自己開(kāi)車
that accommodated his unusual body.
一輛為他身體狀況特別制造的汽車
And his mother told me this story of coming home one day --
他的母親告訴我一個(gè)故事
and he went to college nearby --
他去了家附近的大學(xué)
and she said, "I saw that car, which you can always recognize,
她說(shuō) "我看到了那部車，一眼就認(rèn)出來(lái)是他的車子
in the parking lot of a bar," she said.
停在一家酒吧的停車場(chǎng)，"
"And I thought to myself, they're six feet tall, he's three feet tall.
"我想了想，他們六英尺高，他三英尺高
Two beers for them is four beers for him."
他們喝兩瓶啤酒，在他那里就相當(dāng)于四瓶啤酒"。
She said, "I knew I couldn't go in there and interrupt him,
她說(shuō)，"我知道我不能走進(jìn)去打擾他
but I went home, and I left him eight messages on his cell phone."
但我回家之后，給他發(fā)了八條短信
She said, "And then I thought,
她說(shuō)，"我想
if someone had said to me when he was born
在他出生的時(shí)候，如果有人對(duì)我說(shuō)，
that my future worry would be that he'd go drinking and driving with his college buddies -- "
我未來(lái)的擔(dān)心是，他會(huì)和他大學(xué)友人酒后駕車"
