評論
打印
I love my new phone! It's so cool and red.
我愛死新手機了！又酷又紅。
It feels like anything could happen! But it probably won't.
感覺充滿了無限可能呢！但應該是不會啦。
My first call. What do I do? What do I do?
我的第一個電話。我該怎么做？該怎么接電話？
Oh. Hello? Oh, hey, girl, good for you. Bye. Chiandra's not pregnant.
你好？小妞，恭喜你啊。再見。西安卓沒懷孕。
Max, why are you taking calls from Chiandra? We have to do my video.
麥克斯，你為什么在接西安卓的電話？你應該來拍我的視頻啊。
I had to take her call. She gave me a bunch of free apps. Angry birds, Doodle Jump.
我必須得接她電話。她送了我好多免費軟件。"憤怒小鳥"，"涂鴉跳躍"。
If you want to look like a dog, I could do that.
如果你想看起來像只狗，也能弄哦。
Look, here's me as a St. Bernard. See my neck keg?
你看，這是圣伯納犬版的我。看到我脖子上的酒桶了嗎？
Okay, I've done some research, and here's some things other people want money for.
我研究了下，這些是別人想網上募款弄的東西。
One woman wants money for a new leg. Scrolling.
一個女人想募款弄一條新假腿。頁面往下。
Wait. If she only has one leg, shouldn't she be on can't-Kickstarter?
等等。如果她只有一條腿，她應該上"不能開踢網"吧？
Oh, I'm no longer working with them. They denied my project.
它們跟我中止合作了。它們拒絕了我的計劃。
Apparently, I'm not artsy enough and have too many legs. So now I'm on Go Fund Yourself.
它們說我不夠有藝術感，而且還有太多條腿。所以我上了"為己投資網"。
Oh, perfect. I've been telling you to go fund yourself for years.
正好。我也叫你去死好久了。
The future of my pants hinges on the video pitch. The tone needs to be sad and pathetic.
我新褲子的未來就靠這個視頻了。氣氛語氣一定要又可憐又凄慘。
Uh, preparation done. What's sadder than former billionaire Caroline Channing asking for money for pants?
那你已經不用練習了。還有什么比前億萬富翁卡洛琳·錢寧上網求人給錢買褲子還慘？
