評論
打印
Hey, ladies. Uh, welcome.
嘿，女士們，歡迎光臨
I'm Sam. How can I help?
我是山姆，有什么可以幫忙的嗎
That's not his real name. I worked in a furniture store.
這不是他的真名，我在家具店工作過
Salesmen pay for their kids' llege with lies.
售貨員都是靠滿嘴跑火車來供孩子上學的
I can't have kids. Lie.
我生不了孩子，騙人
Okay, Sam,
好吧，山姆
we're looking for a recliner for my mother-in-law.
我們想給我婆婆選個躺椅
Oh. Uh, over here's our Branson G-7. That's a lie. 9 Uh, very popular with bachelors...Lie.
這是我們的布蘭森G7款，假的，在單身人士中很流行的，說謊
And newlyweds. Lie.
新婚的夫妻也大愛這款，接著編
Also comes in corduroy. Another lie.
還是燈芯絨的，大騙子
Hey, Eddie, look. A love seat.
嘿，埃迪，看，情侶座椅
You should get one for Alison now that you two are...
你應該給艾莉森買一個，既然你們倆都已經
What are they talking about?
他們在說啥
Nothing... Just dumb-wads being dumb.
沒什么，只是有些人不說話沒人把你當啞巴
He and Alison are smooching.
他和艾莉森親親親了
With their lips!
嘴唇貼嘴唇
You kissed Alison? Why didn't you tell me?
你吻了艾莉森，怎么不告訴我呢
N... I don't know.
我不知道
It wasn't a big deal.
沒什么大不了的
Yeah. No, it's cool.
也對，沒關系
I don't tell you every time I kiss your mom, so I get it.
我也沒有每次親你媽媽都跟你報備，所以，我懂的
Twice this week, by the way.
順便說下，這周親了兩次
The D1. Good taste, and it's affordable.
D1款，好眼光，而且價格親民哦
$300 plus the $75 handling fee.
三百美元外加七十五美元運費
I'll handle it myself.
我自己會運
That's the cost of getting it here from our factory in Georgia.
那是產品從佐治亞州的工廠運到這來的運費
The only way to avoid that fee is to go there and pick it up.
要想省下這筆錢，你得親自去提貨
Well, with gas mileage,
即使算上來回的油費
plus wear-and-tear on the car, minus food,
還有車的保養費，去掉伙食費
I'd still save over $20 if I went and picked it up myself.
親自去提貨我還是最少能省二十美元呢
Uh, yeah, I guess, you know, technically,
呃，是的，理論上是這么回事
but uh it's not worth the trip to Georgia.
但是為了省這點錢就跑一趟佐治亞州不值啊
So you're telling me
所以你是在說
if you saw a $20 bill on the street,
你在街上看到二十美元的鈔票
you wouldn't pick it up?
你不撿嗎
No, I... I would.
不，我會撿的
I ate a cinnamon hot ball off the ground this morning.
我今天早上還吃了個掉在地上的肉桂球
Finally, the truth.
終于說句實話了
Plus I love organizing road trips.
再加上我超愛組織自駕游
They are the ultimate test of efficiency and cunning.
它們是對你的效率和機智的終極考驗
I'm in. I love road trips, too...
算我一個，我也很愛自駕游
Snacks, radio, hanging a towel in the window to block the sun.
吃點零食，聽聽電臺，在車窗上掛條毛巾遮遮太陽
We're also in.
我們也去
The World's Largest Peanut is in Georgia.
世界上最大的花生就在佐治亞州展出
Disney Adventures magazine
迪士尼探險雜志
" called it "Worth pulling over for."
稱它為"值得駐足一看的奇觀"
We're going on a road trip!
我們要自駕游
Three times.
三次了哦
We'll pick up Emery and Evan from school
我們去學校接埃默里和埃文放學
and hit the road from there. Perfect.
然后直接上路，完美
I baked us some brownies,
我烤了點布朗尼蛋糕
and I grabbed some sodas.
還帶了幾瓶蘇打水
Bottles... smart.
瓶裝飲料，機智
This will mean six less bathroom trips for the boys.
這些至少能讓男孩們，少跑六趟廁所
Jessica, do you think that's enough food for the weekend?
杰西卡，你覺得這些食物夠過周末嗎
Oh, we'll also get discount fruit from road stands.
我們還要從路邊的休息站買點便宜水果
It's much cheaper than city fruit.
比城里的便宜多了
Wow. You really are the master of road trips.
哇哦，你真的是自駕游高手啊
Someone has to be.
總得有人來當啊
Hey, bachelor!
嘿，單身漢
Hey, what do you got planned for the weekend?
嘿，周末有什么打算嗎
Oh, I got a pile of squirrel kills
我有一堆松鼠尸體
I've been meaning to taxidermy if you want a fur fix.
一直打算做成標本呢，你要不要來順毛
Oh, I'd love to, but I thought it would be good
我很樂意，不過我覺得過個男人周末
for Eddie and I to have a guys' weekend.
對我和埃迪都有好處
Yeah, we haven't been talking much,
我們最近沒怎么交流
so we're gonna hang out, just the two of us...
所以我們打算就我們兩人一起打發時間
Eat pizzas, hit the driving range,
吃披薩，打會高爾夫
watch "Police Academy" Movies.
再看看《警察學校》系列電影
Ah. I remember I had a guys' weekend
我還記得和我爸老馬文一起
with my father, Marvin Sr.
過了一次男人周末
He paid an angel to make me a man.
他花錢給我找了個美女，把我變成了真正的男人
Oh. Um, my dad didn't believe in weekends.
噢，我爸不過周末的
The most we ever bonded was the one time he told me
我們最親密的時刻就是
I did a good job carrying soup to the table.
有一次他夸我端湯端得好
Hey! Don't I get a kiss goodbye?
嘿，不跟我吻別下嗎
Oh, the engine's already running.
引擎已經啟動了
It would waste gas to get out now.
現在從車里下去會耗油的
I'll say goodbye when I get back.
等我回來再跟你道別
Anyone up for bowling this weekend?
這周末有人要去打保齡球嗎
Can we use bumpers? Hell, yeah.
我們能用球道護欄嗎，當然行啊
I'm out. I got a guys' weekend planned with my dad.
我玩不了，我和我爸約好要過一個男人周末
Oh, cool. I do that with my dad, too.
不錯啊，我也和我爸一起過男人周末
We're just in different cities when we do it.
不過我們是在不同的城市一起過的
I think it'll be pretty cool... Sit around in our underwear,
我覺得肯定會很有趣，光膀子坐在一起
eating take-out, not brushing our teeth.
吃著外賣，不用刷牙
Sounds amazing.
聽起來好棒
I'm stuck at home with my four sisters.
我被困在家里，跟我的四個姐妹待在一起
Crying, slapping, door slamming...
大吼大叫，互相攻擊，摔門而去
I'm just trying to watch "Seinfeld."
我只是想好好看《宋飛正傳》而已
You guys want to come over to my house this weekend? Yes!
你們這周末要來我家嗎 要
I mean, are you sure it's cool with your dad?
我是說，你確定你爸不介意嗎
Of course! Guys' weekend.
當然啦，男人周末嘛
Guys' weekend.
男人周末
I spy with my little eye s...
我用我敏銳的小眼睛看到了
The freckle on my chin.
我下巴上的雀斑
Mommy, you win again!
媽咪，你又贏了
Wow, Jessica.
厲害了，杰西卡
He didn't even get the clue out that time.
他連線索都還沒說出來呢
I'd make a great spy.
我肯定是個優秀的偵探
I spy what you're gonna spy before you even spy it.
在你還沒開始描述之前我就知道你要說什么了
This is so fun. Oh!
真有意思，噢
What the hell was that?!
剛才那是什么
I... I got him to honk.
我讓他按喇叭了
You know...Ah!
你知道的，啊
Mom, look, the cheap gas station is up ahead.
媽，快看，前面有個廉價加油站
They give you a free lighter if you pay with cash. Oh.
現金付款還送打火機，噢
Honey's horn game almost made me miss it.
哈妮的喇叭游戲差點讓我錯過了它
I spy some good boys.
我敏銳地發現了好孩子哦
What in hot ham was that?
你在搞什么
You almost blew the whole trip.
你差點毀了整趟旅行
What are you talking about?
你們在說什么啊
You have to be very careful with Mom on road trips.
和我媽一起自駕游必須很小心
She's great if things go her way,
事情順她的意倒還好
but as soon as something happens she doesn't like...
一旦有她不順心的事發生
She turns into... A road grump.
她就會變成一只公路母老虎
A "Road grump"?
公路母老虎
There's several warning stages...
她有幾個警戒階段
Squeezing the wheel... Muttering.
握緊方向盤，小聲嘀咕
Screaming at cars.
對著車亂喊
And finally, speaking only in Mandarin.
最后的最后，她會滿嘴普通話
If that happens, forget it.
要是出現那種情況，那就完了
She's in Grumpville. Trip over.
她已經整個崩潰了，旅行結束
That's why we missed the World's Largest Peanut
這就是為什么我們從華盛頓一路開車到奧蘭多
when we drove from D.C. To Orlando.
還是錯過了世界上最大的花生
Eddie kept asking, "How much longer?"
因為那時埃迪不停問，還要多久啊
and Mom lost it.
然后媽媽就失控了
C'est fini.
旅行結束
Well, if that's true, why are you going
如果你們說的是真的
on another road trip with her?
那你們為什么還要和她一起自駕游
Because we all got things we can't explain,
因為每個人都有自己的執念
and ours is seeing that big peanut, okay?
我們倆就是想去看那個大花生，不行嗎
And this time, we're prepared.
而且這一次，我們做好了充分準備
We've got mix tapes, Boggle, a book of funny limericks.
我們帶了合成專輯，拼字游戲，一本搞笑打油詩集
And I've got my Jodie Foster impression locked and loaded.
還有我已經成功解鎖了我的朱迪?福斯特模仿技能
Hmm.
嗯
When can I stop smiling?
我要笑到什么時候
You can't.
千萬別停
#Ba ba-ba-ba ba Ba ba-ba-ba Everybody'za now,'za
叭叭叭叭叭叭，叭叭叭叭，大家一起唱起來
Hey, Dad.
嘿，老爸
Oh, hey... dudes.
噢，嘿，伙計們
Hey, Mr. Huang. Hey.
黃叔叔好，嘿
What's going on?
你們在做什么
Well, I was bragging about our guys' weekend
我跟他們炫耀了下我們的男人周末
and these fools got jealous, so I invited them to join.
這群蠢貨們就羨慕嫉妒恨的，所以我就邀請他們也加入了
Um, but, Eddie, the driving range at the club
可是埃迪，俱樂部的高爾夫球場
might not be able to accommodate such a big group.
貌似容納不了這么多人哎
I'm sure it'll be fine.
肯定沒事的啦
Yeah, Eddie can just go all Mr. Fruzetti
到時候埃迪可以弗魯澤蒂先生上身
on them and they'll cave.
保證他們分分鐘投降
I don't get it.
我沒懂笑點在哪兒
Mr. Fruzetti's our science teacher,
弗魯澤蒂先生是我們的科學老師
and whenever he gets frustrated,
每次他一不爽
he starts to spit when he talks,
就會邊說話邊噴口水
so people just give in 'cause they don't want to get wet.
然后別人就會馬上投降免得被口水噴到
"Eddie, don't sthquirt that.
埃迪，別“傻”出來了
It's all sthodium sthulfide."
那全都是”流”化”辣”
That's funny.
那還挺逗樂的
You never told me that before. Okay.
你以前沒跟我說過，好吧
Guys' weekend, king-sized edition...
男人周末，升級版
I'll order extra pizzas. Yes!
我會再叫點披薩，贊
Hey, Trent!
嘿，特倫特
Get the hell in here, you orange bastard,
趕緊到這邊來，你個橙色皮膚的小混蛋
before I Fruzetti all over you.
不然我噴你一身弗魯澤蒂的口水
Hi, Mr. Huang. All right.
你好，黃叔叔，好了
Sorry I was late.
不好意思我來晚了
I was just picking up some beer.
我只是去拿了瓶啤酒
Whoa!
哇
How quickly can we get rid of your dad?
我們最快能多久擺脫你老爸
You got actual beer?!
你居然搞來了真的啤酒
The magician! How did you do it?
你簡直就是魔術師，怎么辦到的
My older sister was...
我姐姐
Trish, 25, attended Rutgers.
崔西，二十五歲，在羅格斯大學上學
Was getting beer for a party,
正要去給派對買點啤酒
and I caught her in a rare good mood.
我正巧趕上她少有的好心情
And she just bought it for you, just like that?
然后她就給你買了，就這么簡單嗎
I had to give her all my savings... 60 bucks...
我得交出我所有的積蓄來，整整六十刀呢
And promise not to talk or sing around her for a year.
還得保證一年之內不能跟她說話，或者在她身邊唱歌
But you love to sing. I know.
但是唱歌就是你的生命啊，我知道
And you're sure it's not that non-alcoholic
你確定這不是那種
Sailor Boy stuff, right?
水手男孩之類的無酒精飲料，對吧
Nope. It's an India Pale Ale.
不，這是印度淡啤酒
Damn, son. That's imported.
可以呀，兄弟，還是個進口貨
Look, my sister...
是這樣，我姐姐她
Teaches swim lessons, goes to work in a bathing suit.
教游泳課，平時穿著泳衣去上班
Said she was never doing this again.
她說下不為例
We got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
這可是有生之年只有一次的機會
We can't just waste it.
我們可不能浪費掉
That's for sure.
必須的
Hey, boys.
嘿，孩子們
Who wants to learn poker?
誰想學玩撲克啊
Your love is better than ice cream
你的愛甜過冰淇凌
Everyone here knows how to fly
每個人都知道如何飛
Do, do, do-do do
嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟
Again?
又來一遍
Is this mix tape just "Ice Cream" Over and over?
這盤合成專輯是就一首《冰淇凌》單曲循環嗎
Mommy loves this song, Honey.
媽咪很愛這首歌，哈妮
Yes, Honey. You can never have too much of a good thing.
是的，哈妮，好東西聽多少遍都不嫌多
So much traffic.
真夠堵的
People need to learn how to drive.
有些人真得學學怎么開車
Someone better be dead.
前面最好是有人死了
It looks like all old people.
這里看上去全是些老年人
Snowbirds, heading north now that winter's over.
就好像雪鳥，冬天結束就往北飛
Maybe they would get there faster
要是他們能看到方向盤上面的情況
if they could see over the steering wheel!
或許他們就能快點開過去了
Stage three... Yelling at cars.
第三階段，沖別的車大喊大叫
Quick, do your impression.
快點，解鎖你的模仿技能
You see a lot, Dr. Lecter.
你能看穿很多事，萊克特醫生
But are you strong enough to point
但是你足夠強大到
that high-powered perception at yourself?
能把你那深邃的洞察力用在你自己身上嗎
Uh...
呃
Oh, what if we stop for ice cream
哦，我們等著通車的時候
while we wait for traffic to clear.
停下來吃個冰激凌怎么樣
You know, ice cream like the song?
你知道，就像歌里唱的冰激凌一樣
I'll pay so it doesn't cut into your chair savings.
我來請客，這樣就不會用到你們買椅子的錢了
Oh, that's a good idea.
哦，好主意
That's more efficient than wasting gas
這可比堵在這里浪費汽油
sitting in traffic.
劃算多了
These skeletons will clear out once the sun sets.
這群骨頭架子等到太陽落山就全跑光了
The old hate the dark.
老年人不喜歡黑天
All right, boys. Take your time.
好了，小伙子們，慢慢來
There's no clock in poker.
打撲克牌是不計時的
Check your cards, read your opponents,
看看你手上的牌，再看看你對手的表情
formulate your strategies.
規劃一下你的戰略
All in.
全押
You sure?
你們想好了嗎
We're sure.
想好了
Oh! Trying to push the big cat around, huh?
看來你們這是逼我這只大肥貓發威呀
Well, the only thing I fold is laundry.
的是洗好的衣服
I'll pay to see 'em.
我跟注，放牌吧
Well, looks like you win again, Dad.
好吧，看起來您又贏了，爸爸
Game over. We're out of money.
牌局結束，我們沒錢了
Oh, no, no, no, no.
哦，不不不不
We'll consider it another practice round.
我們就當這是練習局了
Now, again, don't go all in
現在，再重申一次，除非你們手上真有好牌
unless you've got the cards, okay?
不然別全押上，好吧
Leave the bluffing to the experts.
虛張聲勢還得是老司機來
Man, I'm getting tired.
老爸，我有點累了
Me too. Brutal week.
我也是，艱難的一周啊
I'm feeling my age.
我真是上歲數了
Maybe we should call it a night.
我覺得現在該上床睡覺了
It's only 5:00. It's still light out.
這才剛五點，天還亮著呢
We've got hours of "Police Academys" To watch.
我們還有幾個小時的《警察學校》沒看呢
We got the entire weekend, Dad.
整個周末都是我們的，老爸
Don't want to burn us out the first night.
別在第一天晚上就玩過火了
Got to be fresh for the driving range in the morning, right?
還得留著精力明天早上去高爾夫球場呢，你說對吧
Well, I guess I can't argue with that.
好吧，我也無言以對了
Good night, fellas.
晚安，伙計們
Good night!
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Kitty, kitty, kitty.
貓咪，貓咪，貓咪
All right.
好吧
I'm so amped to party.
我準備好嗨起來了
It's lukewarm.
還是暖的
Who's gonna take the first sip?
誰來嘗這第一口
I'll do it.
我來吧
How is it?
怎么樣
Can you taste the hops? Are you drunk?
你能嘗到啤酒花的味道了嗎，你醉了嗎
I don't know. I definitely feel weird.
我不知道，但我確實覺得不對勁
He's buzzin'. Oh, my God. He's buzzin'.
他醉了，天啊，他醉了
Do girls look more attractive?
這些姑娘看起來有沒有更誘人
That was some quick thinking back there.
剛才那會兒你真是太機智了
You really saved us.
你救了我們
Yeah, we were seconds away from hearing Mandarin swears.
是啊，我們差點就聽到媽媽用中文罵人了
Hey, your "Ice Cream" Mix gave me the idea,
嘿，我是從你們的《冰淇凌》合成專輯里得到靈感的
and I probably would have missed that sign
如果不是你們讓我玩的那些猜謎游戲打的基礎
if you hadn't primed me with all that "I spy".
我可能就錯過那個標志了
Celebratory lick?
舔一下來慶祝
Traffic's clearing.
開始通車了
Should be smooth sailing from here on out.
應該可以順利從這里開出去了
Big Peanut, here we come.
大花生，我們來了
Oh, no. A parking ticket's like a thousand bad traffics.
哦，不，一個違章停車的罰單比堵車糟一千倍
Everybody ready to hit the road?
大家都準備好上路了嗎
All board! Yay! You know it. Okay.
都準備好了，必須的，你懂的，好
Practice round?
這輪能算是練習嗎
Hey, ho!
嘿，吼
Figured I didn't need to knock on account of guys' weekend.
我想既然是男人周末我就不用敲門了吧
Come right on in.
來的正是時候
I thought Eddie could use these tomorrow.
我想埃迪明天可以用得到這些
They're Nicole's old sticks.
這些是妮可的舊高爾夫球桿
They banned her from the golf course
他們禁止她進入高爾夫球場
for hitting too many "Geese burners."
因為她打壞了好多青銅鵝爐
Thanks, Marv.
謝謝，馬文
Yeah.
別客氣
So, how's it going? Okay.
進展怎么樣，還行
Eddie's buddies crashed the party, but I just rolled with it.
埃迪的小伙伴們不請自來，不過我就由著他們來了
Going with the flow...
順其自然
That's the backbone of any guys' weekend.
這可是所有男人的周末精神
Where are the little rug sniffers?
那群小鬼頭到哪去了
They went to bed.
他們去睡覺了
Before midnight?
沒到半夜就睡了
With all that testosterone?
他們渾身都是荷爾蒙啊
No.
我不信
The boy's got a VCR in his room?
那孩子房間里是不是有錄像機
Not anymore.
已經沒有了
He was taping cable shows in the middle of the night.
他以前總是大半夜地把有線電視節目錄下來
Well, that rules out ta-ta movies.
那就不是在看少兒不宜的電影
-He's got fireworks? We're Chinese.
他是不是有煙花，我們是中國人
The boys have been over fireworks since they were five.
孩子們自打他們五歲的之后就玩膩煙花了
Well, did they sneak out to go egging?
那他們會不會溜出去搞扔蛋的惡作劇
Jessica painted the windows shut.
杰西卡刷窗戶的時候把窗封死了
Then it's got to be booze.
那就是在喝酒了
What? No way. Booze.
什么，不可能，絕對是喝酒
Eddie's growing up, but he's not there yet.
埃迪是長大了，但他還沒到那個年齡
Okay, maybe you're right.
好吧，也許你說得對
I don't mean to overstep.
我不是要多管閑事
Who knows a son better than his father, right?
知子莫若父，是不是
I'll leave you to it. Hit 'em long and straight.
這些就交給你了，打的時候得掄圓了
All right, Marv. Okay.
好的，馬文，好的
Hey, just checking to make sure everythi...
嘿，我就是來看看是不是都
You're drinking?
你們喝酒了？
No. Eddie's the only one who had any.
不，只有埃迪喝了一點
None of us even tried it. Where is he?
我們都還沒嘗過，他人呢
He had a few sips and said he felt weird.
他就喝了幾口，然后說感覺不對勁
And then he ran into the bathroom.
然后他就跑去浴室了
Did Eddie O.D.?
他是不是喝多了
No, he'll be fine.
不，他會沒事的
But this should be a lesson to all of you not to drink.
但是你們應該吸取不能喝酒的教訓
I'm gonna have to call your parents and let them know.
我會打電話給你們的父母報備一聲
Go home. Party's over.
回家吧，派對結束了
Sorry, Mr. Huang. See ya.
抱歉，黃叔叔，再見
Oh, God.
哦，天吶
What's happening to me?
我這是怎么了
Oh, God, oh, God.
哦，天吶，哦，天吶
Oh, God. What?
哦，天吶，什么鬼
Eddie, can I come in?
埃迪，我能進來嗎
No, Dad. I'm... I'm doing something in here.
不，老爸，我正忙著呢
Eddie, I know about the beer. Just open up.
埃迪，我知道啤酒的事情了，開門吧
Crap.
慘了
Trust me, you don't want to see this.
相信我，你不會想看到這個的
Open up the door right this minute.
馬上給我先把門打開
Okay. You asked for it.
好吧，是你讓我開門的
We need to talk.
我們得談談
What's happening to us?
我們這是怎么了
The Asian Flush.
這是亞洲紅臉
What's wrong with me? Am I drunk?
我這是怎么了，我喝醉了嗎
Calm down. Getting agitated will just make it worse.
冷靜點，著急只會變得更嚴重
Worse?!
更嚴重
It's called the Asian Flush.
這個叫亞裔臉潮紅
It's an allergic reaction.
是一種酒精反應
Your body lacks the enzyme to process alcohol.
你的身體缺少消化酒精所需的酶
It doesn't affect everyone.
不是每個人都會這樣
Your mom and grandma don't have it.
你媽媽和奶奶就不會
What's gonna happen to me?
我會怎么樣
Well, everyone reacts different.
每個人的反應都不同
For me, my face gets hot and red,
像我的話，我的臉會發燙變紅
my throat and eyes get itchy, and my heart races.
我的喉嚨和眼睛會發癢，心跳加速
You didn't drink much, so it shouldn't last long.
你沒喝多少，所以應該不會持續很久的
Great... just another way I'm different from everyone else.
太好了，又是一個我與眾不同的地方
This is like an all-body heat.
這簡直就像是全身加熱
Look, I was just as confused as you
我第一次發現這種情況的時候
when I first discovered it.
跟你一樣困惑
It happened my freshman year in college.
那是我做大學新生的那一年
Oh! Hey, man!
哦，嘿，伙計
I was already self-conscious being an Asian kid
做為唯一的亞洲人在一個滿是白人的學校里
in a mostly white school,
我已經很靦腆了
and now the one thing that was supposed to help
本來應該有助于緩解我的社會焦慮癥的東西
my social anxiety only made it worse. Not bad.
反而讓我變得更糟了，不錯啊
And then... And then I did the worm.
然后...然后我就跳起了蟲子舞
Oh, yeah!
耶
Your face.
你的臉
Oh! You look like your sweater.
哦，你的臉快跟你的毛衣顏色一樣了
What's wrong with you?
你怎么了
I don't know.
我不知道
Really, Maryland?
你這是在逗我，馬里蘭
You rain for three straight months,
你下了整整三個月的雨
but tonight there's not even a breeze?!
今晚卻連絲風都沒有
I don't feel so good.
我感覺不太好
Oh, yeah. That's another thing.
哦，好吧，那是另一回事
We also get an accelerated hangover.
我們還很容易上頭
Come on. I got something that'll help.
來吧，我有東西可以幫你
Hey!
嘿
They're just giving it away.
這些就好像是白送的一樣
I don't want to jinx it,
我不想招來厄運
but I think this might be my best road trip yet.
但我認為這是我迄今為止最棒的一次自駕游了
It is. It totally is!
是的，完全是
I can't take it anymore. It's too much pressure.
我受不了了，壓力太大了
Girl, you got to hold it together.
妹子，你必須振作起來
That's what I'm saying. I can't.
我就是在說，我做不來
We're hostages. You know that, right?
我們就是人質，你們都知道的，對吧
We just have to keep it up a little longer
我們只要再多堅持那么一會兒
so we can see the Peanut, pick up the chair, and get home.
這樣我們就能看到大花生，取走椅子，然后回家
Why do you want to see this peanut so badly?
你們為什么這么強烈想看這個花生
Because it's the world's biggest peanut.
因為它是世界上最大的花生
What is she not understanding?
為什么她就是不明白呢
Can you explain it to her, please?
能不能請你跟她解釋一下
Aah!
啊
Another ticket?
又一張罰單
What do you mean "Another ticket"?
什么叫"又一張罰單"
Here you go. Try this.
給你，試試這個
Ugh! It tastes worst than the beer.
呃，嘗起來比啤酒還難喝
Oh, yeah. It's disgusting.
哦，確實惡心
I call it Lou Brew.
我稱它為路家精釀
It also gets out permanent marker and blood stains.
它還可以祛除永久性的印記和血痕
I don't get it.
我不懂
I've seen you drink alcohol before
我以前見過你喝酒
and this never happened to you.
你從來沒有這樣過
Well, I've learned to adapt over the years.
這么多年里我學會了適應
At first, around my white friends, I'd fake drunk.
首先，在我的白人朋友面前，我假裝喝酒
Good one, Clark!
說得好，克拉克
Whoo! Another round!
喔，再來一輪
Then if I was with my Chinese friends,
跟我的中國朋友在一起的時候
I could just let it fly because they understood.
我就可以放飛自我，因為他們懂得
Hey, I think it spread to my eyelid.
我覺得這酒精反應延伸到我的眼皮了
Hey, check this out!
來看看這個
I got that butt thing again.
我屁股又紅了
Oh, Hank! Hank!
漢克，漢克
If I pass out, I've got $2 worth
我付了兩美元在點唱機里
of Bob Seger in the jukebox.
點了鮑勃?西格的歌，我要是喝掛了
If "Like a Rock" Comes on, wake me up.
《堅如磐石》這歌起的時候，就叫醒我
Can someone turn the A.C. Up?
有沒有人可以把空調開大點
It is hot as hell in here. The twins are drenched.
都濕透了
And then, eventually, I developed a pre-game routine
最終，我發展出了一套酒前應對流程
to fight it the best I could.
這樣我就可以不醉不歸
My Flush Pack... Before I drink,
我的紅臉應對包，我喝酒之前
I take these precautions
就先采取預防措施
and it lessens the side effects...
可以減輕副作用
PEPCID, inhaler, eye drops, TUMS.
法莫替丁，吸入器，眼藥水，抗胃酸咀嚼鈣片
You have to do all this nonsense every time you drink?
你每次喝酒的時候都得弄這些亂七八糟的東西嗎
I don't write checks my body can't cash.
我可不會透支我自己的身體
Also, there's some cash in here.
另外，這里面還有一點現金
I don't understand.
我想不通
Why didn't you just tell me about the tickets?
你們為什么不直接告訴我罰單的事情
Well, because every little thing sets you off...
因為任何一點點小事都會讓你爆發
Honey... because you're a road grump.
哈妮別說了，因為你是一只公路母老虎
What are you talking about?
你這話是什么意思
As soon as things don't go your way,
一旦事情不順著你的意思進行
you get super sensitive and make everyone tense.
你就會變得超級敏感，然后讓大家都很緊張
No, I don't.
不，我才不是呢
I run on a schedule,
我按照計劃走
but that's just to make things more efficient.
是因為那樣可以更高效
I'm a road boss.
我是自駕大佬
Road trips are supposed to be fun.
自駕游本來應該開開心心的
If I knew it was gonna be like this,
如果我早知道會這樣
I would have just given you the $20
我寧愿給你二十美元
to buy the chair back in Orlando.
讓你在奧蘭多就把椅子買了
You both feel this way?
你們倆都是這么想的嗎
I didn't know.
我以前不知道
I don't want to be a road grump.
我不想變成公路母老虎
I want to have fun on this trip, too.
我也希望這趟旅行能開開心心
It's too late.
太遲了
You're already mad about the parking tickets.
你已經因為罰單的事情氣瘋了
What parking tickets?
什么罰單
Jessica, they can track you down by your license plate.
杰西卡，他們可以追蹤你的車牌號找到你
Oh, yeah?
是嗎
Anyone asks, our plates got stolen
要是有人問起的話，就說我們的車牌被偷了
and someone else got those tickets.
是別人收到的那些發單
Uh an unmarked car?
呃，一輛沒有牌照的車
Now it's a road trip! Yes!
現在這才像自駕游啊，是的
Let's go see that peanut!
我們一起去看那個大花生吧
Yes! Let's do it! Let's go!
太棒了，走吧，出發吧
And last, just to be safe,
最后，安全起見
I rubber-band these gauze pads in my armpits
我用橡膠帶裹著這些紗布裹到腋窩下面
to soak up the sweat.
這樣能吸汗
First we can't drink milk, and now this.
起初我們不能喝牛奶，現在又來這個
Asians got jobbed.
亞洲人事兒真多啊
Why did you never tell me about this?
你怎么從來沒告訴過我這件事
I was going to when you were old enough to start drinking.
我本來是要等你到了喝酒的年齡再告訴你的
I guess I didn't realize you were there.
我想我是沒有意識到你一開始可以喝酒了
Yeah, well, I learned my lesson.
好吧，我已經得到教訓了
Your mom and I will take that into consideration
等我和你嗎想到要怎么處罰你時
when we figure out your punishment.
會把這一點考慮進來的
Damn.
該死
Well, if it helps, it wasn't planned.
幫我自己說句話，這不是我計劃好的
It just sort of happened.
這件事就這么發生了
Honestly, this weekend I was just hoping
說實話，這周我只是想
to sit around in our underwear watching TV...
跟你光膀子坐在一起看電視
Not brushing our teeth.
不刷牙
This all seems like a lot of work
對于一個超難喝的東西來說
for something that tastes like garbage.
這反應也太過了吧
Well, if you want to talk about it,
如果你想談談這事或者別的任何事的話
or anything else, I'm here.
我就在這里
I actually do have some questions about kissing.
我確實有一些關于接吻的問題要問
How do you know if you're good at it?
你怎么能知道你是不是擅長接吻呢
Well, if she's anything like your mother...
如果她像你媽媽一樣的話
You know what? I'm not feeling so great.
你知道嗎，我感覺不太舒服
Maybe we can talk more later.
也許我們可以晚點再討論這件事
Whenever you want.
隨傳隨到
Come on. Let's get the rest
來吧，我們去把剩余的啤酒
of the beers and dump them out.
拿出來扔掉
Oh. It was just the one.
哦，只有這一瓶
The five of you were going to split one beer?
你們五個人打算就分這一瓶啤酒
It was all he could afford.
他已經用上了他的全部積蓄了
Trent paid his sister 60 bucks for it.
特倫特花了六十美元跟他姐姐買的
She said she was losing money.
她說她已經虧錢
Why do they have a swimming pool at a police academy?
警察學校里為什么會有游泳池
Don't start asking questions, or it all falls apart.
別問，不然會幻滅的
Hey, you're back. How was the trip?
你們回來啦，旅行如何
Mom's speaking Mandarin.
媽媽在說普通話
You didn't see the big nut, did you?
你們沒看到那個大花生，是吧
Nope. Didn't even get the chair.
沒看到，連椅子都沒拿到
What happened?
怎么回事
Let's go see that peanut!
讓我們去看大花生吧
Yes! Let's go!
太棒了，出發吧
And that's for driving without license plates.
這是你們駕駛無牌車的罰單
Goodbye, Big Peanut.
再見了，大花生
Maybe it's better not to meet your heroes.
相見不如懷念
