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Orlando 1995.
奧蘭多，1995
Just as glamorous as it sounds.
就像聽起來的那樣令人神往
My dad moved our family there from D.C.
我爸爸讓我們全家從華盛頓搬到那里
So he could open his own restaurant
所以他可以開一家屬于自己的餐館
but business wasn't going quite the way he planned...
但是他的生意并不如他預期的那樣發展...
he planned to have customersand he didn't.
他期望有很多顧客，但事實是沒有顧客
Moms was worried tooabout money
媽媽對于錢的方面也很擔心
and about fitting in with the neighborhood women.
并且擔心自己如何融入女鄰居們中
So "Melrose Place"
所以，“飛越情海”
is about prostitutes who are mad at each other.
就是有關性工作者們相愛相殺的故事
Yes.
對啊
The one person who never seemed to worry
我的弟弟埃默里似乎是唯一一個
was my younger brother Emery.
不用擔心的人
He blended in like a chameleon.
他就像一個變色龍一樣融入了環境
My favorite movie's "Gremlins."
我最喜歡的電影是“小魔怪”
And grandma and Evan were just hanging out squishing bugs.
我的祖母和埃文正在到處閑逛，打蟲子
And that's me your boy Eddie Huang
那個就是我，你們的艾迪黃
still straight struggling to fit in at my new school.
仍然拼命努力融入新的學校生活
Dude are those nurse's shoes?
伙計，那是護士鞋么
Yeah they're your mom's.
是啊，那是我媽媽的鞋子
My mom does happen to be a nurse
我媽媽恰好是個護士
and she helps sick people get better.
并且她幫助病人們好轉起來
Can't wait to tell everybody
迫不及待要告訴所有人
the new Chinese kid wears nurse's shoes.
新來的中國小孩穿著護士鞋
Walter's not wearing Jordans either!
沃爾特也沒穿喬丹啊！
He doesn't need to... he's black.
他不需要穿啊...他本來就是黑人
That's like built-in Jordans.
就是說他內嵌喬丹鞋
This school's ridiculous.
這學校的學生太荒唐了
They were jerks but remember
他們都是蠢貨，但是你要記住
this was 1995before the Internet.
這是1995年，互聯網還不普及
I couldn't just search "Asian kids who like hip-hop."
我不能直接搜索“喜歡hip-hop的亞洲小孩”
I had to figure out a way to fit in
我只能想出一種方法來融入
or be stuck eating lunch with the janitor and his kite.
否則就要一直和守門人以及他的風箏一起共進午餐了
I'm just saying don't call it a seasonal fruit salad
我的意思是，如果只有甜瓜的話
if it's nothing but melons.
就別叫時令水果沙拉了
My famous tuna salad.
我最最拿手的金槍魚沙拉
Mmm!
嗯
Mac and cheese with bacon bits.
mac奶酪加上少許培根
Ooh!
哦！
Stinky tofu.
臭豆腐
Hmm.
恩
That's exotic. Hmm.
那挺奇異的，恩
How is this Fuller than before?
這怎么比原來還多了？
Aren't you gonna try some?
你們不嘗嘗嗎？
Oh! No.
哦！不
But I admire you for making it.
但是我很佩服你能做出來這個
It's that enterprising spirit
就是那種進取心
that made Taiwan a world power in little league baseball.
讓臺灣人在棒球小聯盟里面擁有世界級水平
I watched a documentary about China in college.
我大學的時候看了個有關中國的紀錄片
You guys I am so excited for this year's block party.
姐妹們，今年的街區聚會讓我很興奮吶
I am so excited about our karaoke number. Oh!
我們的卡拉ok的序號讓我很興奮，哦!
What's the party for?
這個聚會是干嘛的？
The Daytona 500.
戴托納500
What's the Daytona 500?
戴托納500是什么？
We watch cars race around speedways 200 times
我們觀看高速賽車比賽有200次了
stopping only for fuel or engine maintenance
他們只在沒有燃料或者引擎保養的時候停下
and although the ultimate cup winner
雖然比賽最終的獲勝者
is decided by an elaborate points system
是由復雜精細的計分系統所決定的
individual race winners can still celebrate
但是每個參賽者依然可以得到
by getting a grandfather clock or drinking a glass of milk.
一個老爺鐘或者喝一瓶牛奶來慶祝自己的勝利
Caveat... drinking milk isn't specifically Nascar
說明一下...喝牛奶并不是在全國運動汽車競賽獨有
but auto racing in general. Mm.
通常的汽車競賽中都有，哦
Do you have any aspirin?
你有阿司匹林么？
Hey there neighbor!
嗨，這里，我的鄰居！
Hello neighbor.
你好啊，鄰居
I'm Louis. I'm Marvin.
我是路易斯，我是馬文
Hello. This is Honey.
你好啊，這是赫尼
Hello. Hi!
你好，你好！
We just got back from a month in the keys.
我們剛結束福羅里達礁島群的一個月旅行回來
Oh that's wonderful
哦，那太好了
you took your daughter on such a nice vacation!
你帶你女兒一起度過了一個美妙的假期
Your dad is a good man.
你父親人真好
Listen to him.
聽他的話
Stay in school.
好好待在學校
She's my wife.
她是我老婆
Of course she's your wife.
她當然是你老婆了
She doesn't look like you at all.
她跟你長的一點都不像
Yikes.
啊喲
Oh no.
哦，不
You're reading Stephen King. What's wrong?
你在讀史蒂芬金的小說，發生什么事了？
I have nothing in common with these neighborhood women.
我跟那些女鄰居們一點共同話題都木有
I miss my friends back in D.C.
我想念我在華盛頓的朋友們了
We had such pleasant talks.
我們曾經那么愉快的聊天
screaming in Chinese
中國女人打牌有這么激動么？
I guess I'm just lonely.
我猜我只是很孤獨罷了
You'll make new friends. It just take time.
你會交到新朋友的，只是需要多花點時間
And stop reading that book.
并且停止看那本書
Those stories always give you nightmares.
那些故事總是讓你做噩夢
You know what gives me nightmares?
你知道什么才會讓我做噩夢么？
Our bank account.
我們的銀行賬戶
Stephen King should publish my checkbook.
史蒂芬金應該出版我的支票簿
Mom can I get the new Air Jordans?
媽媽，我能買雙新的喬丹鞋么？
Wh... Why not?
什...為什么不呢?
They don't cost that much.
那鞋子又不是很貴
My sneakers aren't fine.
我的運動鞋也壞了
You never let me get anything!
你從未讓我得到任何我想要的東西
God!
天哪
Wh...
什...
I'm looking forward to when he wants a car.
我可以預見在不久的將來這熊孩子就要管我們要輛車了
And there's a point system
并且那里有個計分系統
and then something happens with a clock
之后一些有關鐘表的事就發生了
and then the winner drinks milk.
然后贏的人喝牛奶
I love it. I love it.
我喜歡這種，我喜歡這個
Okay this block party is a great opportunity
好吧，街區聚會對于我們來說是一個絕好的機會
for us to network and promote the restaurant.
去建立關系并且改善餐廳生意
When is it? I don't know.
聚會是什么時候啊？我不知道
There's a party-planning meeting tonight.
今晚有個聚會計劃商討會議
I sent representatives.
我派了代表
Look Alice I don't want to sound like a broken record
聽著，愛麗絲，我不想喋喋不休
but why not a petting zoo?
但是為什么不試一試呢？
We need to show people
我們需要向人們展示
that Cattleman's Ranch has great food you know?
牧場主的牧場餐廳有美味的食物，你明白么？
We got to generate a buzz to bring in the customers.
我們必須創造新潮流引導顧客去我們的餐館消費
I'll get a meat smoker. e'll give out steak and ribs.
我會帶一大塊熏肉，我們要分發牛排和牛肋
No are you crazy?
不，你瘋了么？
We cannot afford to just give away food!
我們可承受不起白送這么多食物的損失！
The restaurant's not making any money.
餐館一直在虧損
We can barely pay our bills.
我們幾乎入不敷出了
Jessica it's important
杰西卡，表現出你想要別人看到的
to project the image you want people to see.
形象很重要
If you want to be successful
如果你想成功
you have to project success.
你就要表現出成功的形象
That's what I needed to do.
那就是我要做的
I wanted to change the way the kids at school saw me
我想要改變學校里孩子們看我的方式
so I turned to the one person
所以我求助了一個
who could guide me through this...
能夠指點我迷津的人...
Ol' dirty bastard.
O.D.B.
That's it... a hot girl was the ultimate status symbol.
就是這樣...一個辣妹是最高地位的象征
Even if I couldn't have Jordans
就算我擁有不了喬丹鞋
if I had a fine shorty on my arm...
但如果我手挽佳人
psss... wouldn't matter.
嘶...啥都不重要
Thanks O.D.B.!
謝了，O.D.B.！
Be right back! Taking out the trash!
馬上回來，在倒垃圾
Eddie!
艾迪！
That's very expensive!
那個超貴的！
If you want to waste something you waste water!
你要真想敗點啥，你就去敗水！
Do not throw juice!
不要灑果汁！
Mom get out of my fantasy.
媽，離開我的幻想世界
Jessica water doesn't project success.
杰西卡，水不代表成功
Capri Sun does.
可沛利才代表，德國產兒童專用飲料
As does Cattleman's Ranch ribs...
牧場主的牧場餐廳的肋排也代表哦
great pork at a fair price.
絕妙豬肉，價格合理
Come on fly girls. Try a rib. Tell a friend.
快來，時尚女郎們，來塊肋排，口口相傳
This is not free okay? Here we go.
這不是免費的，好么？開始吧
I am going to charge you all.
你們每個人我都要收費的
Dad saw an opportunity
爸爸發現了一個在全國運動汽車競賽協會聚會上
to promote our restaurant at the Nascar party.
推銷我們餐廳的機會
He just needed to figure out what the hell Nascar was first.
他只是先要搞清楚全國運動汽車競賽協會到底是什么鬼
Hello. Uh do you have any Nascar videos?
你好，啊，你有沒有全國運動汽車競賽協會的視頻？
Car or truck cup series or busch
轎車還是卡車，房車系列還是德國普旭
short track or road race?
短道速滑還是公路賽車？
I...
我...
Uh which one is the milk?
額，哪種是牛奶？
All right. Come on.
好吧，跟我來
Come on.
來吧
Let's go walk past the adult section
讓我們闊步向前，走到成人區
and try to see inside.
看看里面有啥
I thought those were the westerns.
我以為那些是西部片
Only the sexy ones.
只有性感撩人的片
They die and leave their wives their money.
他們過世了，將錢留給他們的妻子
"Dolores Claiborne."
《熱淚傷痕》
Sometimes they're driving home
有時，他們從情人的公寓
from their mistress's apartment
開車回家
and their brakes suddenly fail.
他們的剎車突然失靈
An accident Dolores... An accident Dolores...
一場意外，德洛麗絲...一場意外，德洛麗絲...
can be an unhappy woman's best friend. can be an unhappy woman's best friend.
能成為一個郁郁寡歡的女人最好的朋友，能成為一個郁郁寡歡的女人最好的朋友
My husband doesn't like it when I watch Stephen King movies.
我老公不喜歡我看史蒂芬·金的電影
He thinks I get scared.
他覺得我會害怕
That's the best part.
那是最好的一段啊
It's my favorite part.
那是我最喜歡的一段
I'm Honey.
我是赫尼
My husband Marvin and I are your neighbors.
我老公馬文和我是你的鄰居
Oh I'm Jessica. It's so nice to meet you.
哦，我是杰西卡，很高興見到你
Nice to meet you too.
我也很高興見到你
What happened to your leg?
你腿怎么了？
I'm so hungover.
我心里超難受
What?
什么？
Hey girl.
嗨，妞兒
How you livin'?
你好么？
I'm fine.
我很好
Uh hi.I'm Honey.
啊，嗨，我是赫尼
Yeah you are.
的確，人如其名
Eddie stop acting weird.
艾迪，別裝模作樣了
Go to the bathroom. We're leaving soon.
去趟洗手間，我們馬上就走
A'ight mama. A'ight.
好吧，媽媽，好吧
He seems nice.
他看起來好逗
What was that? Phase one of my plan.
你剛那是干啥？我計劃的一部分
I need the guys from school to see me with her.
我要學校里那些家伙看到我跟她在一起
No one's gonna care I'm not wearing Jordans after that.
然后就沒人在乎我穿不穿喬丹了
But she's like a woman.
但是她像是，一個女人
Exactly!
就得這樣！
A fine-ass woman like that
像那樣的一位美臀佳人
leaning on me like in rap videos
靠我身上，就像說唱視頻里演的那樣
that'll get me mad respect son.
那會讓我受萬人敬仰的，兄弟
And these skittles
這包彩虹糖
are compliments of that gentleman over there.
是那邊的紳士獻給您的
Go on girl! Taste the rainbow!
拿著吧，妞兒，嘗嘗彩虹糖
You know who win every race?
你知道誰贏了每場比賽么？
The advertising companies.
廣告公司
Little Debbie.
小黛比
I knew a Debbie once but she was not little.
我以前認識個黛比，不過她不小
She went by "big Deb."
她是“大黛比”
I'm going over to Honey's.
我去趟赫尼家
I think I found a friend I actually like.
我覺得我找到了個我真心喜歡的朋友
Oh good. That's great. I told you... it just take time.
哦，真好，太棒了，我跟你說過...一切只是需要時間
Yo moms you see Honey
喲，媽媽，你看到赫尼
ask her how those skittles treated her.
問她那些彩虹糖味道如何
Why are you giving women candy?
你為啥給女人獻糖？
'Cause they so sweet.
只因佳人甜美
Go to your room.
回你的房間
A'ight papa. A'ight.
好吧，爸爸，好吧
Hmm.
嗯
I don't know what this wife's problem is.
我不知道這些妻子有什么毛病
If my husband had a big house like Jack Nicholson
如果我老公像杰克·尼科爾森一樣有個大房子
he could put an axe in any door he wants to.
他想在哪個門上放斧頭就放
Why?
為什么呢？
Because we have 500 other doors and a maze.
因為我們還有五百道門和一個迷宮
Mm-hmm.
嗯哼
Oh I can't believe you are actually eating my food.
哦，我不敢相信你實際上在吃我的食物
This is delicious.
這好好吃啊
You know who's gonna love this? Nicole.
你知道還有誰會喜歡嗎？妮可
Oh that's Marvin's daughter. She's my stepdaughter.
馬文的女兒，我的繼女
Oh that's nice.
哦，真棒
She's not even your real daughter and you love her.
雖然她不是你的親女兒，但是你愛她
Oh. Oh my God.
哦，天吶
That scared me.
嚇到我了
Hello.
你好
May I speak to my wife?
我可以跟我的老婆談談嗎？
Look Louis
聽著，路易斯
I know you don't like me watching Stephen King movies
我知道你不喜歡我看Stephen King電影
but this was on...No it's not that.
但這是在...不是，問題不在這
It's Honey.
關于赫尼
All the neighborhood women hate her.
所有的女領居都討厭她
Well that's not true! Who tell you that?
好吧，那不是真的！誰告訴你的？
Evan.
埃文
It's true.
那是真的
They hate her because she ruined Sarah's life.
她們討厭她是因為她毀了莎拉的生活
Who's Sarah?
誰是莎拉
Marvin's first wife.
馬文的第一任妻子
Honey split them up.
赫尼拆散了他們
Well how do you know this
你是怎么知道的
The party-planning meeting.
聚會籌劃會
Sarah came home early one day
有一天莎拉回家早
and found them on the kitchen floor.
發現他們躺在廚房地板上
The floor that Sarah just cleaned.
莎拉剛剛清洗的那個地板
No!
不會吧！
Yes girl. Yes.
會的，小姑娘，是的
Then Carol-Joan gave us a preview of the karaoke number.
然后卡羅爾瓊給我們展示了一系列卡拉ok號碼
Not great.
很沒意思
All right so they hate her. So what?
好吧，所以她們討厭她，那又怎么樣？
She is the first person I have met here who I actually like.
她是我在這里遇見的我真心喜歡的一個人
Well if they find out that you're friends with honey
如果她們發現你和赫尼做朋友
they could turn against you and the restaurant.
她們可能敵對你和餐廳
They boycotted Rebecca Miller's nail salon
她們聯合抵制麗貝卡米勒的美甲沙龍
because she copied Mary Jo's Jennifer Aniston haircut.
就因為她模仿了詹妮弗安妮斯頓的發型
You know the Rachel.
你知道的，瑞秋
Oh my sweet boy that's a lot of names.
我的可愛兒子，名字太多了
Look Jessica
聽好，杰西卡
you know more than anyone how much we're struggling.
你比任何人都清楚無論我們如何拼命掙扎
We can't afford to give people
我們擔待不起給人們
any reason to avoid our business.
任何拒絕我們生意的借口
Okay.
好吧
You are right.
你是對的
It is not worth risking the future of the restaurant for somebody who I have just met.
不值得為了一位認識不久的人而使餐館的未來冒險
Exactly.
絕對的
Pick any other woman to be friends with.
選擇其他任一名女士做朋友
Swing a cat hit a white woman be friends with her.
喂只小貓，和一個白種女人混在一起，與她做朋友
Because our number-one priority
因為我們的首要任務
should be the restaurant succeeding and...
是餐館的發展，然后
Aah!
啊！
Oh you know I thought I saw a ghost in the window
告訴你，我以為窗外有鬼
but there was not a ghost.
但其實沒有
I am fine.
我很好
And no more Stephen King movies!
還有禁止史蒂芬金電影！
You know like our favorite sport Nascar
聽好，像我們最喜歡的運動，納斯卡賽車競賽
why not speed over to Cattleman's Ranch
為什么不加速前進去牧場呢
for great tastes at an affordable price?
便宜的價格就能吃到美味
I-I'm just kidding. Drive the speed limit.
我，我開玩笑的，注意限速
But still come.
但是任然要來
All right when I say rib eye you say steak!
好吧，在我說牛里脊肉后，你們喊“牛排”
Rib eye!
牛里脊肉！
Steak!
牛排！
All right we're having fun!
好吧，我們都很開心
Welcome!
歡迎光臨
Food goes on the picnic table
吃的在野餐桌上
which is over there where the petting zoo should have been.
就是那邊寵物動物園應該在的地方
Why aren't you handing out coupons?
你怎么不發餐券
Who you looking for?
你在找誰
Honey.
赫尼
I mean a honey.
我的意思是，一只蜜蜂
A honey woman.
一位甜美的妞
Hand out the coupons man.
發你的餐券去，小子
Hey.
嘿
This is Simone and Bianca.
這是西蒙和比安卡
Hey. Hi.
嘿，嗨
You have two dates?
你有兩個約會對象？
Oh it's cool. We're supportive of each other.
這不是問題，我們都很支持對方
You'd think there'd be an issue but there's not.
你可能覺著這是個挑戰，但其實不是
Need any help with that?
需要幫忙嗎
Nope nope nope nope nope!
不用
Nope nope nope nope nope. Nope nope.
不用
Hey! I just finished getting the house ready for Nicole.
嘿！我剛為迎接妮可裝飾完房子
It's our weekend with her.
我們的周末要陪她
Was Louis mad about the Stephen King...
路易斯因為史蒂芬金的事生氣了嗎
You know I have to go. A wasp flew into my mouth.
你知道我應該走了，一只黃蜂跑進我嘴里了
Oh hey Trent.
嘿，特倫特
Check this out.
看好吧
Yo. Coupon for one free hug?
一次免費擁抱的優惠券？
Sorry. I'm all lotion-y.
抱歉，我剛洗過
You know I'm all about that.
你了解，我沒關系的
Dissed!
真無禮
Maybe you could borrow some of her lotion for that burn.
或許你可以借她的護膚液一用
She's cutting equally sized pieces because of communism.
受共產主義的影響，她切得大小都一樣
Oh. Isn't that right Jessica?
對不對，杰西卡
Because of the communism in your country?
因為你的國家的共產主義
Or I'm just cutting cake.
或者我僅僅是切面包而已
Anyway we have some exciting news.
無所謂，我們聽說了一些很有趣的消息
We want you to sing the karaoke number with us.
我們想讓你與我們一起朗誦kalaok號碼
You do?
真的嗎？
Mm-hmm!
嗯
Samantha's out. Her mother died.
薩曼莎被排除了，她媽媽過世了
Here. Lyrics for you.
這是歌詞
Can I interest you in some Cattleman's Ranch ribs?
牧場排骨能吸引你們的興趣嗎
Ooh! You know Tuesday is ladies night.
噢! 星期二是屬于女士的
We have our special...
我們有特別的...
Melrose plates... of steak.
Melrose盤子牛排
Here you go. Thank you.
這個給你們，謝謝
See? This was the right move. It's good.
看了沒?這才是正確的選擇，這很好
You know I bet you it'd be real easy to sabotage one of those cars.
我打賭要其中一輛車采取破壞行動是很容易的
Yeah. Add the hip.
對，加上臀部
Ooh! Are you guys doing a song together?
你們是要一起表演唱歌嗎
We were going to...Yes we are.
我們正要去...對，我們一起
We'd invite you to join
我們想邀請你
but it's more of a five-person number.
但沒有五人份
You understand.
你懂得
Wow.
哇哦
Way to make a girl feel like Carrie at the prom huh?
讓一個女孩感覺像在舞會一樣
I don't get it. Do you get it?
我不明白，你懂嗎
No I don't get it.
不，我不懂
I heard she gave Burt Reynolds a tug and tumble
我聽說她給伯特雷諾茲一個猛推再加摔跤
when they were down here filming "Cop and a Half."
當他們在這表演“Cop and a Half.”的時候
Care to dance?
有興趣跳舞嗎
You know I'm not really feeling up to it.
你應當知道，我沒太有心情
Oh come on. It'll be fun.
來吧，會很有趣
Perfect.
真完美
I guess everyone thinks
是不是每個人都覺得
I deserve to be treated like some...
我活該被當成...
home-wrecking stripper.
破壞別人家庭的脫衣女郎那種人來對待
Trouble with the ladies?
泡不到女人嗎？
Dude why is this so hard?
老兄，為嘛泡個妞這么難
'Cause real life isn't a rap video Eddie.
因為現實生活和饒舌錄影可不一樣，艾迪，
Boys don't just talk to each other. Network.
小伙子們，別光站在這里，要去社交
Hey I like what you're doing here
嘿，我挺喜歡你現在這樣的
but don't let your mom see.
但是小心點別讓你媽看見了
Look Eddie love is tricky.
聽好，艾迪，愛情是很復雜的
Who said anything about love?
誰跟你說愛情啊
I'm talking about women.
我在跟你聊女人
You're just saying that 'cause you never been in love.
你這么說是因為你沒有愛過
Me? I love love.
我？我愛愛情本身
It's like everything goes in slow motion
愛一個人的感覺就像所有的一切都在慢放
and you feel this pain in your heart.
而你只能在心里感受這種痛苦
It's a good pain... the pain of cupid's arrow.
這種痛...就像被丘比特射中了一樣
Do you know what woman loves us?
你知道什么樣的女人才會愛我們嗎
Mom.
老媽
Love is for moms.
只有老媽才會談愛這種東西
You guys are funny.
呵呵，你們太搞笑了
I know I should wait 30 minutes after I eat
我知道我飯后應該先消化30分鐘
before I go in the pool
再進游泳池的
but hey then I'd never go in the pool.
但是，嘿，那樣我就永遠沒法進游泳池了
Hey everyone!
嗨，大家好！
Thanks for coming out.
謝謝你們能出來
As you know every year the girls and I
你們知道的，每年，我們幾個女孩子
like to do a little karaoke number for y'all
都會為你們大家小唱幾首
when there's a lull in the racing action.
讓賽車比賽的中場休息時間不那么無聊
And this year
而今年
we have chosen a song by a group called En Vogue.
我們會唱一個叫“時尚”的組合的歌
No it was not a unanimous decision but I hope the person among us...
當然，這可不是瞎選的，我希望我們中的某個人...
She's eating my food.
她在吃我準備的食物
Realizes their mistake because pride is such a...
能意識到她犯的錯誤，因為傲嬌實在是太...
Uh... Oh. I have something to say.
啊...哦，我想說兩句
In Chinese culture this is a welcome speech or jianghua?.
在中國文化里，這是歡迎致辭，就是“講話”
Shut up Deidre.
閉嘴，黛德麗
I would like to dedicate this song to my friend
我想把這首歌獻給我的朋友
Honey.
赫尼
Our friendship might be off to a rocky start
我們的友誼經歷了一個艱難的開始
but just like the haunted '58 Plymouth
但正如史蒂芬·金的經典小說
in the classic Stephen King novel "Christine"
《克里斯汀》里鬧鬼的普利茅斯58號一樣
you can't kill it.
你阻止不了
Your wife has a beautiful voice.
你妻子聲音很動聽
Is she a professional?
她是專業歌手嗎？
Uh no but she sometimes sings at our restaurant.
額，不是，但她有時會在我們一起開的餐廳里唱
Uh the address is on the back.
地址就在背面
I didn't know asians liked karaoke.
沒想到亞洲人也喜歡唱卡拉OK
That's my wife.
她是我老婆，哈哈
the voice of an angel.
天籟之聲，哈哈
She's performing at Cattleman's Ranch.
她會在牧場主的牧場里表演
this is not a duet.
這可不是二重奏
Okay yeah.
好吧
So which kid is it?
那么？是哪個孩子？
What?
什么？
Which kid do you want to see us together?
你想讓誰看見我們兩在一起？
This isn't my first rodeo.
這又不是我第一次演戲
Ah.
懂了
So what do you need?
那，你需要怎樣？
Cheek kiss hand hold?
吻一下臉，還是牽手？
Sensual hug?
貼身擁抱怎么樣？
Full body three seconds chest to chest?
熊抱，三秒鐘，臉貼臉？
You got it.
行
You'd do that for me?
你要為我這么做？
Your mom's a friend of mine.
你媽媽是我的朋友
Come on.
來吧
Okay.
行
Are they watching?
他們有在看嗎
Mm!
嗯！
Butt grab.
摸屁股了
Oh! Okay. All right.
噢！行了
And we got it. Okay.
搞定
I'd never been happier than at that moment
我從沒像那時那么嗨過
which is why I didn't see what happened next coming.
而我也因此沒有看到接下來發生的事
Hi Nicole!
嗨，尼科爾！
Hey slut. Hi daddy.
嗨，蕩婦，嗨，爸
Hi sweetheart!
嗨，我的心肝寶貝！
In that instant
那一刻
I knew what my brother Emery had been talking about...
我突然明白了我弟弟所說的...
the pain of cupid's arrow.
丘比特之箭帶來的痛苦
Watch out! Aah.
小心！啊！
Or a lawn dart.
或者是一個草地標槍帶來的
It slipped.
手滑了
Eddie!
艾迪！
Eddie what did you do?!
艾迪，怎么了！
Me?!
我嗎？
I have a dart in my back.
我背后中了一箭
Somebody call an ambulance!
有沒有人幫忙叫一下救護車！
There's a hospital right near Cattleman's Ranch!
在牧場主的牧場附近就有一個！
The block party turned out to be a great thing for our family.
事實證明，街區晚會對我們家來說真是棒極了
My dad was happy that we raised interest in the restaurant...
我爹很開心，因為我們成功地引起了街坊們對我們餐館的興趣...
You were awesome today. Oh thank you.
你今天真是太耀眼了，噢，謝謝
And you were...
你...
also there.
也在那里
My mom made her first friend in Orlando...
我媽在奧蘭多交到了第一個朋友
And even though I was almost killed by a lawn dart
而我，雖然差點被一個飛鏢射死
I was happy 'cause I met her.
我還是很開心，因為我見到了她
Yo I was mad in love.
喲，我已為愛癡狂了
