Wow, first of all, it's called privacy.
首先,這叫隱私。
Google it.
不信去查。
Second, I married a cronut.
第二,我嫁給了一個甜甜圈。
What?
什么?

Last night, my friend Andy and I, we went to go get cronuts, and I said that they were so amazing, I wanted to marry one, so I posted it on facebook as a joke.
昨晚,我的朋友安迪和我一起去買甜甜圈,我說那些甜甜圈太好吃了,我真想嫁給它,所以我當笑話發到Facebook上的。
Then I accidentally left my phone in Andy's car, which he drove to a friend's wedding in Vegas,
后來我把手機落在安迪的車上了,他開車去賭城參加朋友的婚禮,
and that book is for my crazy boss because he's designing maternity clothes and he wants to get inside the mind of preggos!
那本書是給我的瘋老板買的,他在設計孕婦裝,想知道準媽媽們在想什么!
Thank god!
謝天謝地!
I'm so relieved!
真是松了一口氣!
Wait a second.
等等。
How did you get onto my Facebook page?
你怎么能看到我的Facebook頁面?
I unfriended you.
我沒加你好友。
She's Brody Kendall.
那個布羅迪·肯德爾是她。
Oh, my god, gross!
天吶,真惡心!
I've been playing Candy Crush with my mother!
我居然一直在跟我媽玩糖果粉粹機!
How did you track my phone?
你是怎么追蹤到我的手機的?
Well, I don't think that really matters, and there's a perfectly reasona--
我覺得那并不怎么重要,而且我有充分的理由...
Oh, cut it out. I can see people walking behind you.
省省吧,我能看到你后面有人走過。
Okay, got to go.
好了,我掛了。